Trump has run out of things to say. Two people fainted in his rally in Pennsylvania (this is probably an ongoing problem, when most of your fans are old people), and he used that as an excuse to stop answering questions…but he couldn’t let them leave. Instead, he told the organizers to play music from his playlist while he stood on the podium, swaying and making those hand gestures that he calls “dancing.” For almost 40 minutes. Jeez, let us escape!
Who needs policy when you’ve got a hodge-podge of random songs to play instead?
It was time to listen to Andrea Bocelli’s “Time to Say Goodbye.” After listening to James Brown, Trump began to speak again, as if remembering that he was still at an event that was billed as a town hall.
“This is the most important election in the history of our country,” Trump said, once again accusing Democrats of weaponizing elections. But then he went back to his music.
“Those two people that went down are patriots, and we love them, and because of them we ended up with some good music, right?” he asked. “So play ‘YMCA!’ Go ahead. Let’s go nice and loud!”
“Here we go, everybody,” Noem interjected.
The crowd cheered and danced to the Village People song from the 1970s, which celebrates gay cruising culture. Noem put her hands up in the shape of a “Y.” As the song was ending, Trump mouthed the words, “Nobody’s leaving.”
“Nobody’s leaving. What’s going on? There’s nobody leaving. Keep going,” he said, as Rufus Wainwright’s version of “Hallelujah” played next. “All right, turn that music up! Turn that up. Great song!”
Then it was “Nothing Compares 2 U” by Sinéad O’Connor. “An American Trilogy” by Elvis Presley. “Rich Men North of Richmond” by Oliver Anthony. Trump stood and swayed.
As “November Rain” by Guns N’ Roses played, he walked off the stage. He spoke to attendees on his way out, as “Memory” from the musical “Cats” played in the background.
Hmmm. Imagine I walk into class to give a lecture, and instead whip out my iPhone and start playing random tunes from my playlist, while wobbling and grinning up there behind the lectern, and I do that for the whole hour. My students would be baffled, would complain, and my division chair would have words with me afterwards, and everyone would wonder if I was losing my mind and maybe ought to be shuffled off into retirement early. This performance by Trump is clear evidence that he ought to be wheeled off the stage and sent off to cheat at golf for the remainder of his life. He definitely shouldn’t be president.