This is going too far. As you probably know, Apple has run a long series of ads where they personify computers: the Mac is the young, cool, hip dude, while the PC is the stodgy old loser. It has been a very successful campaign, and various other companies have tried to copy it or defuse it. But sometimes they are too slavishly following the concept and lose any credibility or any awards for creativity. Latest case: OpenBSD proposes a series of ads with their own personified operating systems. It’s never going to happen — they can’t afford the talent they want to use — and it’s also too overwrought. It’s got Vin Diesel as OpenBSD, and Yoko Ono as a Mac (yes, I am offended!), and no mention of Linux (Greg is offended!) but I still approve, because it’s got the only acceptable use of Ben Stein in a commercial, playing the role of a PC.

Ben Stein is shown knee deep in sludge at the bottom of a porta-potty tank. Stein waves up at the camera and calls cheerfully, “Hey there, OpenBSD!”

Vin Diesel wrinkles his nose and replies, “Uh, what are you doing down there, PC?”

In response, Stein cups his hands and scoops up a hearty mass of brown goop. Holding it close to his face, Stein says, “I’m trying out Vista!” He then buries his face in sewage, pulls out gasping and choking, and proceeds to vomit down the front of his shirt.

Diesel looks aghast and says, “That… doesn’t look very healthy, PC. I’ve heard some pretty bad things about Vista.”

A visibly shaken Ben Stein gathers himself and retorts sarcastically, “Yeah, Vista is bad, evolution is real, and I just traded the last unicorn for a bag of magic beans. Wake up, OpenBSD! There’s a whole wide world out here!” Stein stretches his arms wide in the dank confines of the porta-potty’s waste tank.

OpenBSD is a good OS, but I’m not excited by it…but man, I want to see this commercial made, just to get Stein frolicking in sewage. It’s never going to happen, alas.

Would you believe the aliens are on the way?

The words ‘Nous ne sommes pas seuls’ or ‘We are not alone’ will be somberly pronounced this week by a senior Government official of the nation that brought the world ‘Liberté, égalité, fraternité’. France is set to concede that it is aware of an alien presence on earth by no later than Friday.

Paris has chosen follow the lead of maverick UFO nation Brazil and resist US pressure to continue delaying disclosure until America feels it is ready for the event.

It is believed that a telephone hot-line has been set up in Paris to deal with queries from panicky citizens. A special division of France’s police department is also to be established: to handle UFO reports.

The French have gone to so much effort to protect their culture from encroaching ‘Anglo-Saxon’ influences and now they are preparing to protect their culture from what might be even more powerful extraterrestrial forces.

It is believed Holland and Germany are set to soon follow France’s lead.

You heard it here. Be prepared for the astounding formal press announcements this week.

What, you don’t believe it? Look, the author said “it is believed”…isn’t that enough for you? This is the same author who made this persuasive announcement last month.

The numbers are growing daily of those on planet earth calling for full disclosure of Galactic Presence…and we are talking about beings who are benevolent to humans and have our best and highest interest for no more war, poverty, disease, and isolation from the rest of the multiverse.

To say that these are exciting times is an understatement. I have a friend who writes that all of those who have “transitioned” in physical death since 1999 are indeed on the starships and will be returning as we make our ascension leap as a planet.

Whatever your concept of other life forms not confined to Terra Nova, these topics warrant a place in our awareness as we move higher.

I am delighted to share an article written by Steve Beckow that puts this in perspective and reflects many of my own perceptions. I thank Steve for sharing his concepts with us and I join him in requesting FULL Disclosure from our President Barack Obama.

Oodles of credibility, see?

Christians merely get Jesus on pita bread or Madonna’s on plate glass windows — we get squid-shaped lightning, which is obviously much more impressive.

Alas, no magic squid in the sky for us, though — these are entirely natural phenomena.

“Sprites are a true space weather phenomenon,” he adds. “They develop in mid-air around 80 km altitude, growing in both directions, first down, then up. This happens when a fierce lightning bolt draws lots of charge from a cloud near Earth’s surface. Electric fields [shoot] to the top of Earth’s atmosphere–and the result is a sprite. The entire process takes about 20 milliseconds.”

Jen has taken me, Richard Dawkins and Hemant Mehta and used The Sims to put our simulacra together into a house. I’d say it’s some kind of pilot for a new sitcom on Fox, except I’ve seen enough Sims to know it will not end well. One of us will catch on fire, someone else will drown in the pool, and the last will die an agonizing death when he can’t find a path to the bathroom.

I do want that shirt in real life, though.