Let us stir up a little tempest in Tennessee. An internet poll asks, SHOULD A DISPLAY OF THE 10 COMMANDMENTS BE ALLOWED IN OUR COUNTY COURTHOUSE?. The currently leading answer, with 82% of the vote, is “Absolutely. The laws of our land are based on the 10 Commandments and anybody who doesn’t want to look at them (or read them) certainly doesn’t have to do so.”

This poll also has something sneaky. There are 5 possible answers, but they’ve just worded the same thing differently to split our votes. The intelligent options are “Such a display is inappropriate in any public building,” “No way. There needs to be a distinct separation between church and state,” and “No! Our government is prohibited by law from endorsing religion and this is clearly an endorsement.” To make this a bit more challenging, let’s elevate the percentages on all three to crush the two that basically say “Favor Christians in the law”.

We can still squash it. An article about the Texas science standards has this question on the side: What do you think the appropriate lesson should be in public schools?

1. Evolution only (50%)
2. Evolution, pointing out weaknesses in theory (5%)
3. Evolution and creationism (32%)
4. Creationism only (13%)

Pick one!

For the last week, I’ve been getting multiple, daily requests to crash this poll: Do you think Sarah Palin is qualified to serve as Vice President of the United States? We already did it. Other groups have also been crashing it, and it’s also been hacked, last I heard it had votes in the millions, votes cast by scripts, not people. The poll is passed on. It is no more. It has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker. It’s a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. It is an EX-POLL. It has been so thoroughly crashed that our purpose is done, its credibility is undermined, devastated, and blown to flinders. Only an idiot would use this poll to justify an opinion any more, that is, other than an opinion that internet polls are useless.

So you can stop nagging me now, everyone. Find a better poll that hasn’t yet been blasted with a cyberpistol.

This is what happens when you can’t comprehend the ordinary physical properties of fluids: you start hailing grungy old bottles of gloppy stuff as your salvation. Naples has gotten all excited about a bottle of “liquifying saint’s blood” — it’s incredibly silly. And just as silly, there is an online poll: Do you believe in miracles?. So far, 64% of the respondents say they do.

They should have asked, “do you believe in gullible people?”, because then I would have voted yes.

There isn’t a “HELL, NO” option on this one, but there ought to be. Do you think Sarah Palin is qualified to serve as Vice President of the United States?

“Yes” is currently leading 55:43.

So, the Church of England is considering a public apology for their denial of evolution — it’s progress, I suppose, although CoE has never had the reputation of being particularly vicious towards evolution, and I’d be more impressed if the Baptists were asking forgiveness. Anyway, here’s a poll: Should the Church apologise to Charles Darwin?

Unfortunately, the only choices are “yes” and “no”. I was hoping for something like “Yes, the church ought to get on its knees and crawl in abasement to Science, kiss the hem of its robes, beg forgiveness, and donate all of its holdings and wealth to scientific funding agencies” or “No, the church is irrelevant, a pointless relic that ought to go crawl into a quiet corner and finish its business of dying.” Those are choices with some meat to them.

Scroll down on the linked page to find a very silly poll: Do you believe in the Big Bang?. It’s a pretty stupid question, but even worse is the fact that “no” is winning 82%:18%.

I guess I don’t quite see the difference from a pointless poll, but let’s bite. A right-wing blogger is asking for bipartisan participation in a “survey” about the expected winner in the presidential election. Results will not be available until after the election, but go ahead and give it a shot.