Pray for a poll to turn out the way they want it

How can I resist this poll? It’s on a site called Pray for McCain-Palin, which is hilarious in itself, and here’s the poll on that page:

Senator McCain’s Pick of Sarah Palin as Vice Presidential Running Mate

Solidified my vote for him: 66%
Didn’t change my vote for him: 5%
Made me less likely to vote for him: 4%
Didn’t change my vote against him: 1%
Solidified my vote against him: 25%

Prayer won’t help you now, Jebusites. The Pharynguloid hordes are coming.

This poll cannot stand

Oh, come now. Are they just taunting me, waving a bit of succulent red meat before and begging me to bite? Should topics such as creationism or intelligent design be taught in public schools alongside the theory of evolution? 85% say yes. I cannot believe that 85% of the population are that stupid, although it is being hosted on the American Patriarchy News Network, which would tend to bias the sample downward.


Gah. This came out garbled before, and you would not believe how long it took to get in and fix it. The scienceblogs server is rapidly becoming intolerable…which, of course, is exactly what the DOS bastards want.

Pregnancy poll

Since you all whomped that last poll with a ruthless savagery that does a godless brute proud, how about a new one? Should abstinence-only sex ed continue?. So far, “Yes” is winning 53% to 47%, despite the fact that abstinence-only sex ed does not work, and has been demonstrated to be an abject failure time and time again.

It’s sad to see such a close vote in a poll that really should be a slam dunk. How about making one of those bars swell like Bristol Palin’s fecund little belly?

I pray that angels come down from heaven and heal these polls

Isn’t technology wonderful? It allows the woo-woos to spread their nonsense so much more rapidly, and to look slick and shiny and modern while they do it. Take a look at this report and polls on a site called AOL Health — AOL Quackery is more like it — which describes a survey that says 16% of Americans claim to have experienced a “miraculous healing”, as if that somehow increases the credibility of the experience. It does not. All it means is that the gullible have been primed with an explanation that they will regurgitate when queried.

Do they think this through? No. They even cite that “Pentecostals and African-American Protestants were far more likely than other groups, such as mainline Protestants or Catholics or Jews, to say they have either witnessed or experienced a miraculous healing firsthand.” If reporting were equivalent to actual intervention by a deity, wouldn’t that mean god favors Pentecostals and Protestants with darker skin color?

A silly article must be accompanied by silly polls. This one has two!

Do you believe in miraculous healing?
Of course: 79%
Absolutely not: 12%
I’m not sure: 9%

Have you experienced a miracle?
I believe so: 73%
Not that I know of: 19%
I don’t believe in miracles: 8%

Those numbers sure look wacky. Do you think they will have magically, miraculously changed for me by the morning?

How about an utterly trivial poll?

Rather than asking random internet voters to decide who should be Leader of the Free World, how about this one: Should Montel have psychic Sylvia Browne on his new show?

For those who don’t know who this is about, Montel Williams is an ex-talk show host best known for having gullible tripe on every week — in particular, the odious, awful Jabba the Hut Sylvia Browne. Williams is apparently getting a new show (don’t ask me why, as far as I’m concerned he’s a cut-rate version of Oprah, who’s rather awful, too), and a few people are wondering if it’ll be as credulous and phony as his old one.

Anyway, after that dull debate last night, we need something really stupid to lighten the tone.

Bookclub on autism

The ScienceBlogs Book Club has started up again, and this time around the book under discussion is Paul Offit’s Autism’s False Prophets: Bad Science, Risky Medicine, and the Search for a Cure(amzn/b&n/abe/pwll). Offit has an entry over there right now, and more will be piling on soon.

This is a good subject to tackle, too: the anti-vaccination clowns are yet another outbreak of lunacy and innumeracy and anti-science nuttery, and Offit’s book fights the good fight. Expect howls of outrage from the clowns.

(By the way, one of the circuses full of clowns is trying to oppose our poll-crushing. If you haven’t voted for Amanda and science yet, get on over there and make them cry.)

Poll: you must choose between Jenny and Amanda

That is, Jenny McCarthy, ditzy mummy who opposes vaccinations because she thinks they cause autism, and Amanda Peet, smart woman who knows that inoculation is a great benefit. McCarthy has just sniped at Peet:

“(Peet) has a lot of [nerve] to come forward and be on that side, because there is an angry mob on my side, and I like the fact that I can say she’s completely wrong. I look at (Peet) now and say to myself, ‘That was me before I had autism in my life,’ and until she walks in our shoes, she really has no idea.”

Oh ho — so Jenny McCarthy’s great logical defense of her position is that she fronts an angry mob? Well, two can play that game. Pharynguloid mob, get over there and support science and intelligence in their poll. Amanda is down, 46% to 54%!