Happy Birthday to Yoouuuuuuu!

Today is 10 September, which happens to be the birthday of the Trophy Wife (I won’t tell you the birth year because she will give me the evil eye, but I will say that she is much, much younger than I am, as a Trophy Wife must be). It would be very nice if she got home from work tonight and, as she usually does, sits down and checks out the blog to see what horrors and outrages I have perpetrated today, and discovers that a few of you had written her birthday best wishes, instead.

I fear I shall be stepping into a den of vipers

I’m going to be on the radio tonight, at 10pm Central time, on a program radiating out of Missouri State University called the All-American Gun Show. The host is JT Eberhard, a dangerous rascal, and I think he’s planning to harrass me fiercely. Here’s the blurb for the show:

PZ Myers, biology professor at the University of Minnesota Morris and the author of the science blog Pharyngula. Myers is known for his criticism of creationism and religion, including an appearance at Skepticon I on the Missouri State campus last October and a return to the campus this November for Skepticon II.

      The notorious Dr. Myers, a liberal by admission, is famous for his atheist shennanigans that include throwing crackers in the trash. We plan to pin this kingpin of the secular mafia down with fine-tuning arguments and universally accepted facts of science like the absence of any transitional fossils in the fossil record. Pwnd.

Tune in if you’d like to hear me raked over the coals.

My evil plan worked. They thought they were drawing me into a trap, but I knew that all I had to do was link to them and my henchpersons would bring their servers to their knees. Mission accomplished.

They were recording, and said the interview will be up on their website in a few hours…at which time you will all crash that! Bwahahahahahaha!

My apologies to Karen Longerbone and other visitors

Karen paid a visit to my university office and didn’t find me, but left a nice note. Thanks!

This is going to be a common occurrence. I’m on sabbatical, so I’m not in my office very often — but if you just go out the main doors of the science building, turn right and walk up the sidewalk to College Avenue, and cross the street…I’ll probably be there in the big white (but needs a new coat of paint) house. Go ahead and knock. I might show up at the door barefoot and in a grungy t-shirt*, but I’ll probably be civil.

*There will be pants, too, probably. Usually.

Visiting North Dakota

It’s right next door, but I haven’t been to North Dakota that often. There are a couple of dates planned that will change that, though: on 24 September, I’ll be in Fargo for a free movie night with the Red River Freethinkers.They’ll be showing Julia Sweeney’s Letting Go of God at the Fargo Theater at 6pm, and then for an anti-climax, I’m giving a lecture.

If Fargo is just too darned congested for you, I’ll also be speaking at Minot State University in Minot, ND on 5 October — deep in the heart of the state. I’ll put up more details about that later.

What I’ll be doing in March…

Since several people were curious, the reason I’ll be in Australia next year is that I’ve been invited to speak at The 2010 Atheist Global Convention in Melbourne, on 12-14 March 2010. All that way for 3 days? I’ll probably arrange to spend some extra time on my own dime checking out the drop bears and venomous kittens and raucous Australians out there — suggestions are welcome. Invitations to sack out on a couch somewhere, also welcome. Generous offers of good Australian beer, especially welcome.

The organizers also want to get an estimate of attendance, so they’re asking likely attendees to register their interest in an entirely non-binding query. You know Richard Dawkins is going to be there, as well as the fascinatingly controversial Peter Singer, and several of the exotic natives of that distant land, such as Catherine Deveny, who I’ve admired since reading this column. It should be an enlightening couple of days — join us!

Home alone

I have been abandoned. My wife has left me. The kids have all moved out. I’m stuck home alone with nothing to do but work and take care of the annoying cats for a whole week, and I may just go insane.

The Trophy Wife has gone to summer camp! She’s working for a week as a camp counselor at Minnesota’s Camp Quest, the secular place for smart kids to be. I’m thinking I should probably demand, as a price for forcing me to bach it for all this time, some kind of direct report from her at the end of the week that I could post here and get everyone excited about sending their kids (or spouses) away for a while.

I’d say that I should get her to send me daily updates on the events there, but I think she’s going to be busy. As it is, all I’ve heard so far is that they have luxurious new cabins and great food. I had leftover tuna casserole for dinner last night, just sayin’.

Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles

One nice thing about being the most evil blogger on the interwebs is that I can occasionally trick my kids into thinking I might be just a little bit cool. My son Connlann introduced me to the black humor of Mr Wiggles (my kids have inherited a weird sense of humor!), and the author, Neil Swaab, offered me a copy of his latest compilation, Rehabilitating Mr Wiggles. I mentioned that it was my boy who led me to Mr Wiggles, and so Neil generously sent me a second copy, autographed for Connlann. See the effect?

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If you don’t know Mr Wiggles, you’re probably going to spend the next few hours browsing in appalled fascination.