This is my life for a while, isn’t it?

I just got out of class, which was part explaining science, and part negotiating how we’re going to continue from here to the end of the semester. The students had questions, I have questions, and we have relatively few answers.

Next up, I’m coordinating a biology faculty meeting which may get eaten up with addressing the multiple questions we’re going to have about how to suddenly switch to teaching online. We’ll have questions, I hope we have some answers.

Then I’m teaching a lab, which will be very short, because I’m just going to abort the experiment we were about to start and tell them we’re going to switch to me doing online demos and getting results, which they’ll have to analyze and interpret.

Finally, I’m just going to lie down. I didn’t get much sleep last night, trying to figure out how I’m going to have to revamp everything in both my classes. I expect I’ll be spending spring break trying to cope with this headache.

Nothing makes sense any more

I did it. I watched Trump’s address last night. It was painful. Somebody told him he couldn’t mug for the camera and that he had to hold still and not rant, but only read from the teleprompter, a completely unnatural behavior for him, and it showed. What’s with all the loud sniffing? All the speech did was highlight the unsuitability of this man for a crisis. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. Nothing he’s saying makes sense, except as an incoherent reaction to a problem that motivates him to reach out and help…his fellow rich people. We keep getting whipsawed by inconsistent policy decisions.

Makes sense:

  • Much as I hate it, shutting down face-to-face interaction at our university is a smart move. We have to slow this pandemic down.

Doesn’t make sense:

  • Closing down universities, while still allowing massive sporting events to go on. Tens of thousands of people, shoulder to shoulder, eating hot dogs and drinking beer?
  • Megachurches holding massive services. Jesus won’t help you.

Makes sense:

  • The NBA suspending all games.

Makes sense:

  • Putting scientists and doctors to work to come up with sensible policies.

Doesn’t make sense:

  • Trump waiting for Jared Kushner to make a decision about the virus.
  • Cutting funding to the CDC and NIH.
  • $50 billion in loans to small businesses, and cutting taxes.

Makes sense:

  • Coordinating internationally to prevent the spread of the disease.

Doesn’t make sense:

  • Banning travel from Europe. Just Europe, not Asia. Later amended to exclude the UK from the ban.
  • Calling this a “foreign virus”. Viruses don’t have nationalities.

Makes sense:

  • Universal free healthcare.

Doesn’t make sense:

  • Relying on the charity of insurance companies.

Makes sense:

  • 54% of Americans disapprove of Trump’s overall performance.

Doesn’t make sense:

  • 43% approve of how he’s handling the pandemic! Only 49% disapprove.

The president’s address was preceded by this phenomenon, which was perfectly representative of how America works.

And on that note, I have to go work with students who I may be seeing personally for the last time to figure out how we’re going to finish up this semester.

As expected…University of Minnesota closes in-person classes

And here we go…

We are suspending in-person instruction, including field experiences and clinicals, across our five campuses and are moving to online, or alternative, instruction. Students on the Morris and Crookston campuses will have in-person classes through this Friday, March 13.

I guess my spring break will be spent trying to figure all this out.

Quick, email me some energy

I have to go teach in 15 minutes, and I’m barely conscious. I’m chugging coffee, but it isn’t doing the trick, and I’m afraid I might fall asleep in my own lecture. I have a seminar after that, a lab this afternoon, and another seminar at 5, and it’s going to be tough getting through this day.

I hate Tuesdays. They’re worse than Mondays.

OK, I made it through the first class of the day — the magical lightning bolts from hither and yon helped a lot. Sorry, trolls, I know you think you’re zapping me with hatred, but it’s all fuel for the machine. I managed to do a lightning-quick summary of both mitosis and meiosis for the first year students — next I’ve got to give them a bunch of homework to make sure it sticks.

I have a short break before the senior seminar on NKX-2.5, homeobox proteins involved in cardiac devalopment always keep me awake. Before that, though, it’s time to tend to my spiders for a bit.

I made it through the whole day! Fortunately, the student seminars were both very good, and the lab was painless. I still need a nap.

Max von Sydow is dead

He’s gone. He had some impressive roles, he had some cheesy roles, but one thing he always had was presence.

One thing that always struck me about him is that he reminded me of my great grandfather: that slight accent, the pitch of his voice, and that he was tall and physically similar (I think my great grandfather was tall, but I was also very small when I knew him). I kind of hoped I’d grow old to be like Great-Grandpa Westad, or like Max von Sydow, but I think I got too many Myers genes.

I have a theory, which is mine, about getting older

Today is my birthday. Yeah, whoop-ti-doo, it’s a work day and I’m home alone and dinner is going to be rice and beans with no cake, so congratulations are not in order. Also, I’m 63, which led to my new insight.

I’m actually 3 vigorous, flighty, strong, bumbling 21 year olds trapped in one body. It explains why I’ve put on weight over the years, and they’re all kind of bummed out about being stuck in here, so they occasionally lash out, which is why my bones ache. It’s a satisfying theory which explains many phenomena.

So now I just need to figure out how to reconcile these three (who I’ve named Chad, Dexter, and Evil Dexter, by the way) to their existence as roommates in a co-op with really strict rules and no escape clause. Things might get better next year at this time when it’ll be three young men and a new one-year-old baby and we can start negotiating the sit-com rights, but until then I’ve got to keep these rambunctious wastrels occupied. Any suggestions?

If it helps, I spent my first 21st birthday in my dorm room, studying for a biochemistry final the next day. That’s what 21 year olds do, right?

Time to huddle alone in my man-cave

Now that COVID-19 cases have been reported in 28 states, I think we can say that efforts to confine it have failed. We have our first case here in Minnesota, a person returning from a trip on a cruise ship (Why do people do those cruises anymore, anyway? It’s like jumping into big bottle of culture medium and getting stirred around for a few weeks.) My university has sent out information to all faculty about what to do if cases arise — we’re referred to this Safe Campus website for updated info. Ironically, the email about this also says, “Our Emergency Management team—made up of individuals from across campus—is meeting weekly”. Well, that’s the problem, isn’t it? If someone on the team is infected, the whole damn lot of them will go down.

My wife is off in Colorado, and as it turns out went through the Denver airport at the same as an infected but asymptomatic traveler from Italy was walking among the oblivious herd. She’s coming back in about two weeks through the same mob of disease-ridden cattle. We old, frail people have been advised to avoid all social contact, which sounds like a fine idea to me — I’m a denizen of the internet, that’s where I do all my socializing — but I have a job that involves talking with lots of people all the time. Fortunately, I don’t touch students…but I do get piles of papers handed to me. Maybe this will motivate me to adopt all electronic submissions.

We’re also advised that, instead of crude handshakes, we should adopt the Vulcan greeting. I can do that. I’m all for it.

“Live long and prosper”

However, this recommendation rarely comes with the necessary warning: do not, I repeat, DO NOT ever greet someone with a Vulcan mind-meld. This is right out, even if it would be a great teaching technique.

“Do you actually…understand…epistatic interactions in genetics?”

I was planning on going out for a nice walk in town today, but I think I’ve just talked myself into sitting at home alone.

Schocked!

I was surprised to learn that the most famous person from Morris, Minnesota was a disgraced Republican politician, known for using campaign funds illegally to decorate his office. It’s a strange thing to have attached to the place where you live.

Now he has cemented his position as the biggest name from Morris by coming out as gay. He worked for years against LGBT rights, so that’s a bit surprising (or is it?).

There’s more! Now I learn that his family was a member of the Apostolic Church of Morris (we actually have two churches for that sect here in town, the other is the North Apostolic Church). Uh-oh. I know that church: fervent, hard-working Biblical literalists who have a rather oppressive influence on the rest of us. That’s where he started!

My story starts in the rural Midwest, as part of a family centered in a faith and its particular traditions. At the Apostolic Christian Church where we belonged, we were enthusiastic regulars. My parents did their best to raise me and my siblings according to biblical tenets as they understood them.

I wonder if they are aware of how their beliefs boomeranged against them in this one case. They’d probably attribute it to the fact that his family moved to “one of the less rigid branches” in his youth.