The BIG fair, the Minnesota state fair, is going on right now, and Karina Hill is letting people vote on exactly which repellent Midwestern grease lump on a stick she should eat. Here’s the menu:
- Fried cheese puffs
- Cajun Season Alligator Sausage on-a-stick
- Deep Fried Cheese on a stick
- Jerk pork chop drummy
- Pancake wrapped around sausage on-a-stick
- Uffda Treat
- Belgium waffle on-a-stick
- Australian Battered Potatoes
- Cheese-burger calzones on-a-stick
- Wild Rice corndogs
- Key Lime Pie on-a-stick
- Dogzilla
- Egg-roll on-a-stick
- Fried-Egg Bagel Sandwich
- Pizza on-a-stick
- Political pop
- Deep-fried twinkies
- Chicken-chops
- Frozen Coffee on-a-stick
- Deep fried cheese curds
- Tater-tot hotdish on-a-stick
- Spaghetti and Meatball on-a-stick
- Deep-fried candy bar on-a-stick
- Deep fried oreos
- Deep-fried spudsters on-a-stick
- Spicy buffalo chicken filled wonton
- Blackened Cajun steak on-a-stick
- Bug juice
- Scotch Meatball on-a-stick
- Puff-daddy on-a-stick
- Pizza burgers
- Ice-cream on-a-stick
- Fresh chocolate dipped marshmallows on-a-stick
- Wall-Eye on-a-stick
- Mac-n-cheese on-a-stick
- Batter-dipped deep-fried chocolate chip cookies on-a-stick
- Fried ravioli garlic bread
If you’re the kind of wretched humanity-hating bastard who’d inflict any of those things on this poor woman’s digestive tract, circulatory system, kidneys, and brain, go ahead—vote at Minnesota Stories.
Warning: Tater-tot hotdish on-a-stick is disturbingly phallic.