Why do they hate the theory of relativity?

I know that most of the kooks can’t abide the theory of evolution, and I can understand their motives a little bit — it directly contradicts common beliefs about who they are. But why all the hatin’ on the Big Bang and on relativity (and on the other hand, why do the crazies love quanta so)? Here’s another example of a book that continues the refrain.

UNCOMMON KNOWLEDGE: New Science of GRAVITY, LIGHT, the Origin of LIFE, and the MIND of Man

This book builds on the works of Arp, Bauval, Childress, Collins, Cremo and Thompson, Dunn, Felix, Hancock, Hapgood, Joseph, LaViolette, McTaggart, Pye, Radin, Rux, Sheldrake, Sitchin, Van Flandern, Von Däniken, and others who question common knowledge

  • to develop a theory of nearly everything, without Relativity,

  • that explains what science, history, and religion have not.

Discover scientific evidence and new theory that:

  • The universe is not expanding from a Big Bang.

  • The Theory of Relativity is not valid; light is not a speed limit.

  • Define how the ether produces gravity and electromagnetism.

  • The ether consists of subatomic “spheritons” that travel faster than light.

  • Light-conducting spheritons are Dark Matter; Dark Energy does not exist.

  • Explain that life came to Earth from another known planet every 60 million years.

  • All 20 Egyptian pyramids had similar industrial functions.

  • The Sphinx and Great pyramid were built in 62,100 BC.

  • The water for Noah’s Flood in 10,800 BC is in plain sight.

  • Identify the origin of our biblical God and the science of Universal Intelligence.

  • Explain how spheritons store and transfer the memories of man and God.

  • Explain how spheritons may enable paranormal mental capabilities.

I don’t know all of the authors in his list of influences, but the ones I do are stark raving lunatics…but I wouldn’t need to know that to see from his list of phenomena that he fits into that category very well.

They must be weak in Wisconsin

Ah, poor Wisconsin…our neighboring state to the east, where the people are frail and frightened, and unable to cope with the rigors of reality. (That ought to get a few of them fired up, don’t you think?)

There is a little dustup going on in the town of West Bend, Wisconsin. The local bluenoses noticed that there are books that discuss human sexuality in the library — and some of them are even written for teenagers! Teenagers, of course, never think about sex and have no interest in the subject unless some vile prurient publication stirs them up, so the crusaders for purity are stridently demanding that these books be removed from view.

One particular target of their fury is a book by Francesca Lia Block, Baby Be-Bop, which commits the sin of writing positively about young gay men and negatively about gay bashing. A group called the Christian Civil Liberties Union has filed suit over the book, since it exists at the library, and they don’t like it.

The plaintiffs, all of whom are elderly, say their mental and emotional well-being were damaged by the book at the Library, the claim states.

That must be one powerful book. It sits on a shelf balefully, emanating damaging gay-rays that permeate the whole town, and disrupting the sexual health of its inhabitants. Perhaps the elderly are especially fragile and sensitive to its effects. Imagine some tired old codger, exhausted after a lifetime of aggressive heterosexuality, sitting in his easy chair before the TV, and suddenly he starts feeling frisky at the sight of Matlock reruns — it must be distressing. And the fault must lie in some kids’ book sitting in a library a few miles away, undermining their ancient manliness.

The prudes have created a blog, and it’s clear that it isn’t just gay sexuality that terrifies them, it’s any sexuality. They link to a couple of pages from books that horrify them: they don’t like sex ed with illustrations kids can understand, fiction that talks about high school kids’ experiences with sex and drugs, or books about female sexuality.

It’s pathetic and sad. I shouldn’t laugh at Wisconsin too much, though, since this really is the work of a timid minority — the city had a referendum on whether the library should censor these books, and the majority said no. That has just inflamed them, though, and now the puritans are suing for the right to burn books.

It always gets down to that with the knuckle-draggers, doesn’t it?

I offer them a compromise. They already have the right to burn books: all they have to do is buy a copy, take it home, and toss it into the fireplace. That’s not at all illegal! Unfortunately, what they want is the right to burn other people’s books, and I’m sorry, that would be uncivilized.

University Of Metaphysical Sciences…right nearby!

I thought I knew of all the institutions of higher learning in my neighborhood, but I seem to have missed one: The University Of Metaphysical Sciences, located in the small town of Kandiyohi, Minnesota. I even know exactly where that is — it’s just outside of Willmar, where my wife works every day.

You might be wondering what, exactly, you would learn at a University Of Metaphysical Sciences. Well, that isn’t clear. You get to learn about Colors and Symbols, and Chakras, and how to connect with Angels (if I were younger, I’d be tempted to get a degree in that, just so I could use it as a pick-up line), and Miracles, and the Energy of Money.

How much does it cost? Tuition is a low, low $2000. It’s even cheaper than it sounds, because they assure us that most students can complete a full Ph.D. program in only a year — it’s so quick and easy, they even recommend that you get two doctoral degrees! I’m feeling slow and inadequate now…it took me five years to get just one.

What about accreditation? Well, accreditation, they assure us, is entirely optional and not necessary, but just in case, they do have accreditation from the American Alternative Medical Association and the American Association Of Drugless Practitioners. That really should count as just one, though: their webpages look identical, only the names, fonts and backgrounds have been changed, and they all trace back to the same small town outfit in Gilmer, Texas. They seem to be in the business of selling certificates to hang on a wall (only $285, they accept both Visa and MasterCard), so at least they seem to be UMS’s peer institutions!

And just what can you do with a Ph.D. in Metaphysics? I wish I could say you learn how to fly, negate energy fields, and speak dolphin, but this is all you can do:

A degree from University Of Metaphysical Sciences qualifies a graduate to perform official ceremonies such as ministerial work, weddings, spiritual counseling, teaching, lecturing on the international circuit, credentialed book writing, setting up a spiritual center, and a variety of other services.

Isn’t that just…fluffy? Makes me want to run down to Kandiyohi and, I don’t know, piss in their mail slot or something. Or maybe explain to their students that their accrediting institutions are mail drops in Texas, that their degrees are completely worthless, that none of their credits will ever transfer to a legitimate college, and that no, a mail-order diploma from a joke like UMS does not give you any credibility on the international lecture circuit.

Texas dingleberries

Once again, Texas leads the way in absurdities. One kook has decided he doesn’t like to say hello, and has convinced the whole county to go along with him. Can you guess why?

In this friendly little ranching town, “hello” is wearing out its welcome. And Leonso Canales Jr. is happy as heck.

At his urging, the Kleberg County commissioners on Monday unanimously designated “heaven-o” as the county’s official greeting. The reason: “hello” contains the word “hell.”

For some reason, I now really want Michelle Obama to visit the Hellespont to collect seashells and read Percy Shelley, just so it can be reported in the Kleberg County newspapers.

Anointy-nointy

They’re doing it again. The raving mad wackaloons are oiling up the hearing rooms for the Sotomayor confirmation. This is called “anointing”, where some true believer thinks it will make a god pay special attention to an event if it is greased up first…which makes me wonder if there can be any point to church services if god is spending all of his time hanging out at the McDonald’s down the road.

Anyway, the sanctimonious twit Rev. Rob Schenck has put up another video of himself wandering through the rooms, slopping oil on doors. He will pray and anointy-nointy, while we will laugh and pointy-pointy.

Duh.

The US 10th Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that display of ten commandments monuments violates the establishment clause. Well, yeah. When the first commandment is basically “No way but JHWH!”, it should be basically impossible to argue otherwise. Although it is fun to watch the crazy people twist themselves to argue that Moses was a secular dude.

Speaking of twisted, ex-Judge Ray Moore is running for Alabama governor in 2010. If you enjoy the occasional video of squirrelly wingnuts denouncing all that is evil in the world, he’s got several there. I like the one where he announces that he will protect Alabamians from all the immorality from California and Massachusetts.

Katherine Kersten, Minnesota’s little pillock

Minnesota has more than a few local conservative wingnuts; there are a few very popular blogs emanating from these parts to testify that, and in addition, the major metropolitan newspaper, the Star Tribune, has a shrill blitherer they regularly put front and center who has most of us scratching our heads in wonder that they keep such an incompetent hack on the staff. All the Minnesotan readers here know already who I’m talking about, and I don’t even need to mention her name…but for all of you lucky out-of-staters, I’ll fill you in: it’s Katherine Kersten. “Who?”, you all say, and that’s definitely the right attitude. But we locals have to deal with the spike in our blood pressure when we read the paper and stumble across her byline.

What brings up this keening harpy of the right today is that she published another of her inane columns this weekend, and her target is atheism. She doesn’t like it, nosir.

More and more, we see outright hostility to religion — particularly to Christianity. Consider the wild popularity of a recent spate of best-sellers by “New Atheist” superstars, including Richard Dawkins’ “The God Delusion” and Christopher Hitchens’ “God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything.”

Far from being dispassionate critics of faith, the New Atheists are zealous crusaders for their own creed: materialism. They are passionately committed to the idea that the universe is a random accident, that transcendent truth is a myth, and that man’s life has no inherent purpose or meaning.

Well, yes! I think that’s great. There are no higher purposes discernible, but we happen to be here, so I think that looking for knowledge and value and even personal purpose in what is and what we are is far more sensible than asking a cold and mostly empty universe to whisper marching orders to us. Let’s strip away imaginary cosmic dictators (who are always nothing but an Oz-like showpiece to empower little, petty, earthly dictators anyway) and search for meaning in how we live our lives and how we can better the world for our children.

I accept the simplistic summary of my premises, but you know that Kersten has to go a step further, and tell me why I think that way…and of course she gets it wrong. I don’t think she actually has read the books she’s complaining about.

Why the growing audience for notions like these?

Religion poses a serious challenge to our cherished idea of personal autonomy. Unlike our forebears, we define freedom as the right to live as we choose — to “be ourselves” — unconstrained by social norms or a morally grounded sense of guilt or shame.

Atheists may not believe in gods, but we do believe in social norms. We also believe in limits to our rights to live as we choose — much as I might like to, I appreciate that bulldozing my neighborhood so that I can turn it into a slug and snail breeding ground would impose on my neighbors’ rights, so I don’t do it. I even appreciate that maintaining happy and cooperative neighbors is a greater good than having my own personal escargot farm.

I should think Kersten might have noticed that Christopher Hitchens always seems to appear in public fully dressed…and even in clothes that are quite conventional. I wonder why, if he’s unconstrained by social norms, he doesn’t appear naked, or dressed up as a clown?

She might have also noticed that Richard Dawkins doesn’t seem to have any pending arrest warrants (well, Oklahoma did try to criminalize him, but that’s different). He also seems to have succeeded in working within the social norms of academia, which, contrary to wingnut delusions, is actually not an anarcho-socialist ultra-Darwinian environment.

It all seems rather obvious to me, but Kersten persists in denying the evidence to the contrary. This seems to be a universal property of the religious — after all, if you can believe with no evidence that dead gods have walked the earth and turned water into alcoholic beverages, it must be trivial to accept that fellow law-abiding citizens with similar cultural preferences must actually be slavering sociopaths and unconscionable hedonists.

But this is all Kersten has got, the raising of spectral straw-men atheists who lack all restraint.

Judeo-Christianity throws a wrench in this, teaching that universal standards of right and wrong trump our personal desires.

In addition, it raises troubling questions about the vision of scientific “progress,” so central to our modern age. The mere fact that we are capable of, say, genetically altering or cloning human beings doesn’t give us moral license to do so, it cautions.

I always like how these doctrinaire promoters of “Judeo-Christianity” primly declare that they have such moral authority, when their faith has such a poor track record of promoting morality. Christians have advocated slavery, have murdered people for the awful crime of miscegenation, have decreed that people who don’t have the kind of sex they prefer are second-class citizens. Christians are thieves, murderers, rapists, and jay-walkers; it seems that having a belief in a transcendent authority actually doesn’t equate to being necessarily law-abiding and ethical or even, shocking as that may be, immune from the temptations of their natures.

I would very much like to see the Judeo-Christian documents that caution us about genetic alterations and cloning. These aren’t very biblical concepts, you know — there’s nothing in Leviticus about them. These are new phenomena, and the scientists who have worked on them haven’t necessarily been Christian or Jewish…yet somehow we’ve worked out that there are moral challenges in the technology without any dictates from burning bushes or salamanders handing out golden tablets.

Funny, that. You’d almost think that people were autonomous agents who recognized perils and responsibilities, and worked out among themselves what kinds of behaviors were right and would lead to less troublesome futures.

The entirety of Kersten’s piece is full of these nonsensical examples.

What, for example, is the source of the bedrock American belief in human equality? It has no basis in science or materialism. Some people are brilliant, powerful and assertive, while others can’t even tie their shoelaces. If “reason” alone is the standard, the notion of equality appears to be nonsense.

How can I even sort out that godawful muddle?

A belief in human equality also has no basis in the Judeo-Christian literature, which endorses inequity everywhere: there are “chosen” people, there are slaves, there are the righteous and the wicked, the crippled are excluded from the temples, the women are inferior chattel, the foreigners may be slain or enslaved.

Kersten herself asserts that equality is a “bedrock American belief”, and then goes on to show that she doesn’t really believe it — some people are brilliant, and others are stupid, and reason demonstrates that (to which I would add, so do Katherine Kersten’s columns…at least, they expose the latter half of her comparison).

Equality does not mean that everyone is a clone of each other with identical abilities, which would be in contradiction to reason and evidence. It is equality of opportunity that we are assigning — everyone should have the same rights and be granted the same chance to exercise their abilities as best they can. And that is something entirely compatible with reason.

And why should we act with charity toward the poorest and weakest among us? “Reason” — untempered by compassion — suggests that autistic children and Alzheimer’s sufferers are drags on society. In ancient Rome, disabled babies were left on hilltops to die. Why lavish care and resources on them?

We Americans take the moral principles of equality and compassion for granted. Yet these ideas are deeply counterintuitive. We’ve largely forgotten that their source is the once-revolutionary Judeo-Christian belief in a loving God, who created human beings in his image and decreed charity to be the first of virtues.

Why do these wackjobs always assume that reason and compassion are antagonistic? Reason tells me that it is a smart idea to be compassionate to the less privileged: maybe they have some ability that my society would find useful, to be pragmatic about it; there is no reason to assume that if someone is destitute, I must therefore do what I can to make their life more miserable; someone may be poorer or weaker than I am, but in turn, I’m poorer and weaker than someone else — does this warrant that I suffer? I also possess empathy, and when I see others harmed, I feel an echo of that pain myself. And, of course, perhaps someday I will have Alzheimer’s, and I’d rather not encourage the growth of a culture that would someday discard me.

I also think there are a set of ideas that are entirely the product of reason: that we should build a whole culture that enables and sustains equal rights and equal opportunities for everyone, because that will maximize the happiness and productivity of our society. I really don’t need a deity to tell me that, and it rarely seems to be a message promoted by religious hierarchies.

There are even more curiosities in that passage. Why does the right always talk as if Americans are exceptional? Do the French lack compassion, maybe, or are Canadians opposing equal rights for women and gays and Hispanics? It’s as if Kersten thinks moral principles are unique to this country.

And guess what: compassion and equality are not counterintuitive. Well, at least not among people who are not brought up with right-wing religious values. Children brought up in healthy, loving families seem to naturally share their toys, love puppies and kittens, and socialize well with other kids…all without reading books about it, or receiving psychic messages from angels. The source of these ideas isn’t Judeo-Christian at all: I’ve seen no evidence that Chinese children, for instance, are amoral beasts (well, no more so than any other kids), or that Inuit adults are unfeeling and don’t believe in justice.

We do have intrinsic natures that have been necessary to our success as a species: empathy, and the tendency to respond in kind to the actions of others. These can be accentuated by culture. We don’t need any gods to be good to others, just the opportunity and the examples of our upbringing.

Ah, well. That’s enough, you can see what level of ignorance went into Kersten’s complaints — she continues on to invoke Hitler, of course (he was trying to replace Christianity with reason, would you believe) and eugenics, which she claims is what happens when science is unconstrained by religion.

This is what readers of the Star Tribune have to groan over week after week. I really pity them, although it’s also the kind of thing that contributes to the decline of newspapers — pandering to ideology instead of intellect puts them on a par with propaganda organs.

Ray Kurzweil is in a snit

I have heard that he is absolutely furious about that Newsweek article on him — he’s harrassing the editors and staff, is demanding that they print his full rebuttal, and is particularly upset that they would question his amazing powers of prognostication. He has put a letter online, in which he claims that all his wrong predictions were actually correct. Near as I can tell, he likes to make vague claims of the inevitable, and doesn’t like it when it’s pointed out that the details (which are the only testable parts of his predictions) turn out to be false.

Delectations for twisted fundagelicals

I am informed by Joshua Zelinsky that two new Chick tracts are available. They are, as expected, completely insane. Here are my summaries.

Now you don’t need to bother reading them.

But you’re going to anyway, aren’t you?

Another clue to the identity of the Anti-Christ

He will be gay.

But will the Antichrist be a homosexual? Having seen what the Bible says of sodomy, we have no further to look than the book of Daniel, chapter 11 to find our answer. It says, “Neither shall he [Antichrist] regard… the desire of women….” As I said at the onset, I am not the first to draw attention to this, but the verbiage is clear.

But consider this: The time is ripe for such a leader. Indeed, it should not be surprising that the one who is against everything Biblical and Christian should be a partaker of so great a sin; there is no greater way to reject the Creator than to reject your gender and his design for it. And at what other time have we seen such perversion come out of the closets onto our streets, threatening violence if we do not accept their ways?

I never trust Christians and creationists when they use ellipses, so here’s the whole passage from the book of Daniel:

   36And the king shall do according to his will; and he shall exalt himself, and magnify himself above every god, and shall speak marvellous things against the God of gods, and shall prosper till the indignation be accomplished: for that that is determined shall be done.

   37Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all.

   38But in his estate shall he honour the God of forces: and a god whom his fathers knew not shall he honour with gold, and silver, and with precious stones, and pleasant things.

It’s a bit ambiguous, as it’s not really saying anything about his sexual interests since it’s equating his disregard for the attentions of women to his disregard for gods, and unless Christianity has gotten really kinky, I don’t think honoring a god is the same as having physical desire for it. It seems to be saying he’s going to be very vain, instead; it seems to me that an argument could be made here that the anti-christ will be an atheist metrosexual.

It doesn’t matter, though. The anti-christ could be reading Pharyngula right now, since we’re pretty open to all those positions! Come on, if you’re reading, you should speak up and leave a comment — we’d like to know more about you!

By the way, the original article also accepts comments, and the majority right now are scathing. It’s very refreshing.