Mommy, why is there a War on Christmas?

You’ve probably been wondering. Who in their right mind would declare war on a family holiday? Who would be crazy enough to think such a thing was actually happening? You might have the impression that it’s all a delusion erupting from the fevered brain of blowhard Bill O’Reilly, but it goes deeper than that, back to the 1950s, when the Cold War fostered a whole generation of destructive nuts. Here’s a lovely summary of the history of the War on Christmas, which finds its roots in paranoia about Communists:

In 1959, the John Birch Society, a far-right organization that sees anti-American and communist conspiracies in just about everything, released a pamphlet called “There Goes Christmas!” written by Hubert Kregeloh. The pamphlet claimed, “One of the techniques now being applied by the Reds to weaken the pillar of religion in our country is the drive to take Christ out of Christmas — to denude the event of its religious meaning.” The John Birch Society believed the UN was being used to crush religious belief:

The UN fanatics launched their assault on Christmas in 1958, but too late to get very far before the holy day was at hand. They are already busy, however, at this very moment, on efforts to poison the 1959 Christmas season with their high-pressure propaganda. What they now want to put over on the American people is simply this: Department stores throughout the country are to utilize UN symbols and emblems as Christmas decorations.

These “UN symbols and emblems” were simply secular Christmas decorations that did not employ religious imagery, decorations that had been around for some time. The pamphlet claimed this was a plot to destroy Christianity and called on patriotic Americans to boycott any stores that displayed such decorations. No one took this very seriously in 1959 — this was, after all, the John Birch Society. The conspiracy theory did not catch on. But it was to come back a few decades later.

Oh, but that brings back Christmas memories…I had a crazy uncle who was in the John Birch Society, and it didn’t take much to get him ranting about how the UN was a Commie Plot. Christmas was presents and tinsel and butter cookies and ol’ Henry handing out JBS tracts and explaining how the Africans were a servile race.

Speaking of race, there’s also the odious Steve Sailer and VDARE explaining how it’s a Jewish conspiracy. But then, Jews, Commies, they’re all the same, right?

The paranoid psychoses are getting ripe over on the other side, and have been putrefying for over 50 years. We’re at the stage now where if a Jew, Commie, or Atheist doesn’t say “Merry Christmas”, it’s a sign that they’re out to destroy the holiday by outlawing it; and if they do say “Merry Christmas”, it’s a sign that they’re out to destroy the holiday by subverting it. No matter what we do, we stomp on Christmas!

Pallacken Abdul Wahid is back!

You just can’t shut this crank up. You may recall that he earlier published a paper in an Elsevier journal claiming that all of genetics is wrong, oh, and by the way, the Quran and Bible are right because chromosomes look like ribs. He has a new paper out (only it’s actually the same old word salad, freshly tossed), Molecular genetic program (genome) contrasted against non-molecular invisible biosoftware in the light of the Quran and the Bible.

The current perception of biological information as encoded by a chemical structure (genome) is critically examined. Many features assigned to the genome are violations of chemical fundamentals. Perhaps the most striking one is that a living cell and its dead counterpart are materially identical, i.e., in both of them all the structures including genome are intact. But yet the dead cell does not show any sign of bioactivity. This clearly shows that the genome does not constitute the biological program of an organism (a biocomputer or a biorobot) and is hence not the cause of “life”. The molecular gene and genome concepts are therefore wrong and scientifically untenable. On the other hand, the Scriptural revelation of the non-molecular biosoftware (the soul) explains the phenomenon of life in its entirety. The computer model of organism also helps understand the Biblical metaphor “Adam’s rib” as chromosome, the biomemory of the cell. The Quran provides ample insight into the phenomenon of human biodiversification. It also reveals the source of biological information required for creating biodiversity in human population. The Scriptural revelation of the invisible non-molecular nature of biosoftware rules out the possibility of creating life from chemical molecules without involving a living cell (or organism) in the process. Claims of creation of “synthetic life” or “synthetic forms of life” employing living cell in the process cannot be accepted as creation of life from non-life as non-molecular biosoftware can be copied from the living cell to the prosthetic cell. Instead of chemically synthesizing a cell from scratch to prove life is a material phenomenon, biologists can as well resort to a more practical and convincing method by restoring life to a dead cell (which carries all the hardware structures including the genome but lacks the biosoftware) by chemical means. The failure of experiments to produce life through purely chemical means or to restore life to a dead cell would in fact invalidate the molecular biological program (genome) concept. More importantly, the failure would confirm the Scriptural revelation of non-particulate nature of the divine biosoftware and the existence of God.

It’s nonsense through and through, and it’s even recycled nonsense — there’s nothing new in here that you can’t find in his previous paper from Bizarro land, except this one seems to emphasize his claim that the impossibility of restarting a dead cell proves the existence of a creator.

The man is a flaming crackpot, but the real shame here is that he is regularly getting published, even if it is in bottom-tier journals. This one was in “Advances in Bioscience and Biotechnology“, which bills itself as an international journal of bioscience, very broadly defined. I suspect it’s a money-making racket. It says “A fee will be charged to cover the publication cost” (which is not at all unusual in science, and many of the very best journals charge a page fee to authors), but it also says the papers “are subject to a rigorous and fair peer-review process”, a claim clearly given the lie by Mr Wahid. This is a paper that could not have survived a cursory glance, let alone a rigorous review.

The War on Christmas opens a new front

It’s escalating. Now it’s not just defending Jesus, it’s about…well, you’d be surprised.

The West Village YMCA in NY is replacing Santa Claus with Frosty the Snowman. Guess who’s mad about that now? Bill Donohue:

“Christmas is not about Jack Frost; it’s not about snowmen,” fumed Bill Donohue of the Catholic League.

“We’re not talking about some secular organization that has no religious roots. If they can’t celebrate Christmas, then they should check out. What a bunch of cowards.”

Hey, Bill! It’s not called Santamas, you know.

I get email

Time for another stream-of-consciousness response to yet another slimy Christian.

Interesting blog

But I beg for just a few moments of your time. You are obviously an intelligent individual, considering you’re a prof and all [Flattery alert: diverting warp power to shields. I can guess how this will end up], but consider this for one second. Could our few years on this planet be all that there is? [Yes.]
You are born, live, then die and that’s it? [That’s what I said. Yes.]
All of you loved ones that have died are no more? [What? It’s not enough to have lived and to have loved ones? These guys are always belittling their lives and families.]

There is a lot of evidence of paranormal activity[No, actually, there isn’t]
, how is that explained? [Wishful thinking, selective memory, gullibility. Easy.]
The vast majority of people believe in a God [So? You don’t get to vote on what reality exists], and many believe Jesus has died for their passage into heaven [And many believe that Mohammed was God’s prophet, and that praying to Ganesh will remove obstacles from their lives. Do you?]. Are all of these people (myself included, and I am a very well educated individual and deep thinker if I do say so myself[I don’t believe you.]) delusional or weak minded or worse because the have faith? [Yes. Or lazy, or guilt-ridden and brain-washed, or fearful] If you look at the world and see how everything fits so perfectly together I don’t understand [Those three words are actually the whole of your argument] how anyone can NOT see that there is “intelligent design” behind the creation of everything[Hey, it’s easy…because there is no evidence for creation, but plenty for evolution]. My background is also in biology and the life sciences. I went to Kent State University[Kent State grads everywhere are groaning at the association], then graduated at The Ohio State University [Ditto Ohio State] with a degree in Allied Medicine. [That’s nice. Are we playing Trump That Degree?] For a few years while I was “becoming smart”[I think you were deceived] I too began to question the existence of a God. I was deceived[like I said] into thinking[I’m pretty sure you weren’t doing that] there really was no need for any supernatural force for everything to be [I peeked ahead. You never bother to tell us anything that requires a supernatural force]. But then I looked how everything just
worked. Take the krebs cycle. One of hundres of thousands of different processes that occur in the body. Every step has to happen perfectly.[No it doesn’t. Cellular processes are stochastic, driven by thermodynamics. Did you learn nothing about biochemistry?] Every substrate has to perfectly fit it’s particular enzyme [Wow. So there must be only One True phosphoglycerate mutase out there then. Have you noticed that there is sequence variation in these enzymes in different species?]. That 1 process, you’re trying to tell me, just came about because of chance? [No. That’s a very tired creationist canard. Evolution is about chance modulated by selection, a non-chance process] I really don’t think so. I can go on and on with different examples but that would be pointless because you know exactly what I’m talking about. [Actually, I know exactly that you don’t know what you are talking about.]

Not to get all evangelical [brace yourselves, everyone, he’s going to get evangelical] on you or anything, but this is the conclusion I came to. Science is a wonderful thing. It’s provided us everything from shelter from the elements to cures for dreaded diseases to the exploration of our universe, but science and our ability to think on that level is a tool from God to help us cope on our planet [Data not shown]. Now, this is where I may lose you [No worries, you lost me in the first paragraph], Satan [Oh boy, here it comes] (and he does exist[Just like Spiderman and Santa Claus!]) has taken the tool of science and perverted into HIS tool [Reason: Satan’s tool.] to deceive man into thinking there is no need for a God for all this to be. Satan HATES you [How do you know? Talked to him lately? For all you know, Satan might think I’m a really cool guy] because you are a creation of God [Wait…wouldn’t Satan also be a creation of god?] and he wants nothing more than to torment you in hell for all of eternity [And god, of course, has nothing to say about this. I rather suspect that if they existed, Satan is nothing but a stalking horse for that evil psycho, the Christian god].

I’m sure I haven’t convinced you of anything[Nope]. But in quite moment just think about an eternity of torment[Nah, not interested. That’s more your thing. You seem to enjoy dwelling on other people’s suffering]. At the moment of your death when you feel the tug of demons trying to take you down [That won’t be demons. Probably heart failure], at that point it’ll be too late. Google[Our modern prophet] near death experiences [I’ve read about them. None are convincing] and listen or read the horrors of people who have tasted hell [Most of the people I’ve heard who’ve tasted hell have done so in this life, and blame fundie nutcases like you for causing it] and then continue to write your blog and doom other atheists to an eternity of torment [Damn, man, you started off all chipper and cheerful, and this is where you end up, grinning like a maniac while you wag a finger and gloat over everyone else’s dismal fate?]– you will have to answer for all the souls you’ve convinced there is no God [Should I ask Satan for a commission?].

I just wanted to share that. Have a great day! [Seriously? You just sent off a rant telling me I’ll burn in hell for all eternity, and, by the way, you think I should have a nice day? Somehow, I don’t think you’re at all sincere. But then, you are a Christian, and that’s what I’ve come to expect.]

NJ C[And you didn’t even bother to leave your name, you brave missionary]

Oh, thank you, Oprah!

We’ve all been sitting around wondering what big questions would ever completely stymie science — we’ve been just knocking ’em down right and left, and scientists have been completely baffled about what good question they could possibly ask next. We’ve all had serious concerns that maybe we were all done, and we’d have to go work for a living or something terrible like that.

But we’ve been saved by Oprah. She, or rather the scientifically deep team of scientific and philosophical experts on her staff, have come up with a challenging list of Humongous Questions that we’ll have to address in our next grant proposals. Here they are, Six Questions Science Can’t Answer.

  • Padre Pio’s Stigmata! Old dead Italian priest would poke himself to make himself bleed every day, and people worshipped him like Jesus!

  • Hindu statues drink milk! When offered sips of milk, statues of Ganesha are claimed to have drunk it, and people believed it!

  • Mosque didn’t fall down! Old mosque in city damaged by tsunami failed to collapse; populace dumbfounded and consternated!

Well golly gee. I am sorta puzzled…not by the questions, which are trivial and stupid, but by the fact that the authors, Jennifer Margulis and Meredith Bryan, managed to find gainful employment as writers and that CNN thought this crap was worth publishing. More Mysteries! That Science Can’t Answer!

But wait! I’m sure at this point, Jennifer and Meredith — hang on, I need a cutesy name for this couple…Jennidith! — Jennidith looked at their list of big questions and pondered. They’d hit up a couple of the Big Religions, and they were probably thinking that they could have gone on in this vein for a while. After all, they haven’t said anything about Judaism or Buddhism yet (maybe, “Why is a Catholic girl like Madonna suddenly so Jewish?” or “How will you explain what the Dalai Lama will be reincarnated as in his next life?”), but they were unsatisfied. These questions didn’t sound very sciencey. They weren’t even sciencish.

So they puzzled and they pondered and they contemplated, and they thought of some big science-like questions that had nothing at all to do with the first three questions, but kind of looked like questions a really smart person might ask, and since they didn’t know the answers, they must be the big questions we should shoo the scientists off to find out.

  • How did the universe begin? Like, planetariums are really awesome. Especially during Laser Floyd.

  • Do aliens exist? We’re not crazy to believe in space aliens, and we found a scientist who says there are other planets out there for them!

  • How many species live on earth? So many of those species are really, really small, so they must be hard to count!

I’d say more, but right now I’m just looking at Jennidith, shaking my head sadly, and wondering if maybe there isn’t somewhere else I’d rather be. Somewhere else with beer, maybe. And maybe with grown-ups who can talk intelligently. Because Jennidith, poor Jennidith, is an airhead.

They shouldn’t feel too bad, though. You can’t even imagine what I think of Oprah!

I get mail

Some people just don’t get it. Christopher Maloney wants to silence a message he doesn’t like on the internet by serving a cease & desist order.

i-3791fdd21446db837462e4cc983cf808-maloney.jpg

The last time I mentioned Maloney was eight months ago, and even then it was to point and laugh at his page throwing crazy paranoid accusations at me. So now, after eight months of neglect, he has decided to stir the pot and remind everyone that Christopher Maloney is a quack and that he keeps on quacking? That makes no sense.

So, once again, the web will start echoing the Christopher Maloney is a quack message.

It must be handy for a quack to marry a lawyer, but I don’t think she’s giving him good advice in this case. You might as well serve a writ on the tides to stop flowing as ask the internet to erase a piece of its data—your best bet is to allow it to take its course and hope that the wavelet that disturbs you gets lost in the incessant volume.

I get email

Some Kentuckians are not happy about my comments about their fake Ark-to-be.

Ark

This is a CHRISTIAN NATION if you hooked nosed kikes dont like it then get the hell out. If it were up to me we would have camp agin for you Christ Killing piles of human sh*t. You things are like acid on society you constantly corrode it with your porn, affirmative action, civil rights, fake funny money federal reserve, being totally morally bankrupt,yourselves all of you together are less than pile of dog sh*t. Like CHRIST SAID John 8:44 you are of your father the devil, you are not of God. I will be so glad when you tares are pulled up from among us THE WHEAT and cast alive into hell………..GOOD RIDDANCE .

REV. 2:9
REV. 3:9 CHRIST TALKING you call yourselves jews but do lie and are of the synagogue of satan…………………..you disgusting pice of scum!!!!!!!!!

Charles L. Moss

Man, I get so much hate mail from people who have firm ideas about my ethnic background, I really ought to get made an honorary Son of Abraham, or something.

Kurzweil = Criswell

You all remember Criswell, right, the amazing prognosticator of Plan 9 From Outer Space? Ray Kurzweil fits the mold: vague predictions, slippery, fuzzy statements, backtracking and excuse-making. The only differences are that Kurzweil is cold-reading technology rather than people’s personalities, and like most mediums, he tends to make happy optimistic predictions that sell better than some of the wackier stuff Criswell talked about (there has been no cannibal apocalypse, and Criswell was one of the early kooks to leap on the end-of-the-world in 2012 bandwagon; Kurzweil just prattles about the rapture of the nerds).

Anyway, I’m not the only naysayer. John Rennie assesses Kurzweil’s predictions, which (surprise!) mainly turn out to be overhyped nonsense. I also learned something interesting:

To help spread the gospel of accelerating returns, Kurzweil and entrepreneur Peter Diamandis established the Singularity University, in California, which offers 9-day executive training sessions (for $15 000) and 10-week graduate studies (for $25 000) on how to understand and master exponentially advancing technologies.

Wow. There’s money in woo, isn’t there?

PZ PREDICTS! I see a flood of email in the near future from fervent followers of the Ray; I see Kurzweil looking cross and popping a few dozen more vitamin pills to reduce the aging effects of his irritation. But then, every time I criticize the Master of Technology Woo, that’s what I get, and he drowns himself in pills every day anyway.

Purpose, purpose, purpose

I once gave a lecture in which I summarized Intelligent Design arguments as simply repeating the word complexity a lot. I was wrong; I left out a word. They also use the word “purpose” a lot.

The latest example of the same tired old nonsense comes from Michael Behe, who really is just repeating the same thing he’s said many times before — in fact, he’s said it so many times that at this point it’s clear his brain is not engaged, and this is a reflex action by his typing fingers.

My contention is that ‘the purposeful arrangement of parts’ to achieve a specific purpose is the criterion that enables us to recognise design.

Wow. Circular argument is circular. What is design? The purposeful arrangement of parts. How do you know it’s purposeful? Because it has a purpose. How do you know it has a purpose? Because it looks designed. Repeat.

Let’s simplify his statement: “My contention is that things are purposeful because they achieve a specific purpose and that is the criterion that enables us to recognise purpose.” Yeah, that helps.

He has a counterargument to evolution:

The Darwinian alternative is to propose a phenomenon never observed anywhere, namely that complex machinery can assemble itself without any planning or direction.

Yet we do observe that all over the place, in the operation of the cell. Unless, of course, he’s now going to claim that thermodynamically-driven cellular processes are actually led along by tiny little invisible agents of the Lord.

Twisted logic

Wayne Laugesen rightly points out that the Catholic church does not have exclusive ownership of pedophilia and child abuse. But then he takes a long leap into lunacy.

Today, sexual abuse of children is clearly out of control in public schools and is even more prevalent in homes. Society needs to stop acting as if it’s a problem caused by priests and look to the Catholic Church in the United States for answers. Due in part to public outrage regarding its mistakes and misdeeds of the past, the church appears to have emerged as the one organization with a formula for nearly eradicating sexual threats to children.

That’s impressively bizarre, and I admit, I never would have thought of it. What organization has the most experience with raping children? The Catholic church. Therefore, what organization should we turn to and tap into that experience? The Catholic church.

I think he’s wrong, though. There is a group with more experience: institutionalized child molesters. Clearly, with this reasoning, we should recruit a crack team of professional child rapers from our prisons and asylums, and send them on a grand tour of the country to advise schools on managing abuse. It’ll give a whole new meaning to the phrase “after school special”.