Bad evolution

There have been no science fiction movies that I know of that accurately describe evolution. None. And there have been very few novels that deal with it at all well. I suspect it’s because it makes for very bad drama: it’s so darned slow, and worst of all, the individual is relatively unimportant and all the action takes place incrementally over a lineage of a group, which removes personal immediacy from the script. Lineages just don’t make for coherent, interesting personalities.

io9 takes a moment to list the worst offenders in the SF/evolution genre. There are a couple of obvious choices: all of Star Trek, in all of its incarnations, has been a ghastly abomination in its depiction of anything to do with biology (I think you could say the same about its version of physics). Any episode with any biological theme ought to be unwatchable to anyone with any knowledge of the basics of the field; if you turn it off whenever it talks about alien races or whenever it mentions radiation from a contrived subatomic particle, though, you’d never see a single show. Gene Roddenberry must have been some kind of idiot savant, where the “idiot” half covered all of the sciences.

I’m very pleased to see that Greg Bear’s Darwin’s Radio gets mentioned for its bad biology. That one has annoyed me for years: Bear does a very good job of throwing around the jargon of molecular genetics and gives the impression of being sciencey and modern, but it’s terrible, a completely nonsensical vision of hopeful monsters directed by viruses and junk DNA. It’s also the SF book most often cited to me as an example of good biology-based science fiction, when it’s nothing of the kind.

Sharktopus tonight

I am less than tantalized by the latest trailer for this awful SyFy movie, but I’ll probably tune it in anyway. I suspect I’ll also tune it out.

Cheesy, schlocky giant monster I can understand, but why all the implicit misogyny in these things? It always looks like women’s purpose is to wear a bikini and die horribly.

Congratulations to Phil Plait!

I just saw the premier of his new show, Bad Universe, and it was lots of fun…and he’s a very entertaining host. I do have a few questions, though.

  • Why does he hate Sydney so much?

  • He was blowing things up right and left, and he was just talking about little rocks. What’s he going to do when he has shows about black holes or supernovae?

  • Hey, where was the biology? Most species don’t go extinct by way of astronomical disasters, so the explosions are a bit unrepresentative of how the universe is likely to destroy us.

Skepchicks never learn

The Masala Skeptic reviews the latest Twilight movie. How dare they offend twee & morbid teenagers? This review will make them mope some more.

This one is personal, too. Our local theater booked this movie a couple of weeks ago, and it is still playing. I doubt that it’s because it’s popular here, but more because of the restrictive contracts some first-run movies impose on theaters. We have one single-screen movie theater, and the next nearest is a 45 minute drive away, so this decision has created a great black hole in our entertainment options around here.

CellCraft, a subversive little game

A lot of people have been writing to me about this free webgame, CellCraft. In it, you control a cell and build up all these complex organelles in order to gather resources and fight off viruses; it’s cute, it does throw in a lot of useful jargon, but the few minutes I spent trying it were also a bit odd — there was something off about it all.

Where do you get these organelles? A species of intelligent platypus just poofs them into existence for you when you need them. What is the goal? The cells have a lot of room in their genomes, so the platypuses are going to put platypus DNA in there, so they can launch them off to planet E4R1H to colonize it with more platypuses. Uh-oh. These are Intelligent Design creationist superstitions: that organelles didn’t evolve, but were created for a purpose; that ancient cells were ‘front-loaded’ with the information to produced more complex species; and that there must be a purpose to all that excess DNA other than that it is junk.

Suspicions confirmed. Look in the credits.

Also thanks to Dr. Jed Macosko at Wake Forest University and Dr. David Dewitt at Liberty University for providing lots of support and biological guidance.

Those two are notorious creationists and advocates for intelligent design creationism. Yep. It’s a creationist game. It was intelligently designed, and it’s not bad as a game, but as a tool for teaching anyone about biology, it sucks. It is not an educational game, it is a miseducational game. I hope no one is planning on using it in their classroom. (Dang. Too late. I see in their forums that some teachers are enthusiastic about it — they shouldn’t be).