I think you should print out this handy guide to quack medicine and give copies to your gullible relatives — you know, the ones who are fending off colds with homeopathy and worry about vaccines and go to chiropractors for their headaches.
If you really loved them you’d do it now.
I thought one mark of the superiority of cephalopods over cats was the absence of ungrammatical LOLspeak hovering over their heads. I was wrong. It turns out that octopusses do text like mad tweenagers. At least squid insist on proper English still.
People are always sending me porn, sometimes to harass and annoy (it doesn’t work), and sometimes because they think I’ll appreciate it. I suppose I’m unusual because much of the porn I get in my mailbox features cephalopods, and over the years I’ve become something of a connoisseur of cephalopod porn…and I’m sorry to say that 99% of it is crap, expressing a total lack of comprehension of why cephalopods have sensual appeal. I’ve put a couple of examples below the fold, and I’ll try to explain why they are so bad.
JT dreams of replacing me someday, and thinks all he has to do is acquire a Trophy Girlfriend. How wrong he is.
I will give him a little hint.
Don’t worry, JT. Puberty is almost inevitable.
Never let it be said that I am ungenerous to the younglings. I have a suggestion for JT that will help him immediately.
Hoping to start the kid off with a properly snarky elitist attitude? Then shop here. I know what my grandchildren would be wearing, if I had any (and no, that’s not a hint to my kids — I’m in no hurry).
I hope you’ve all gotten yourself straight with the big guy in the red suit.
(via Scott Brundage)
All it took was one post, and I was enraptured by the sweetness and light.
I’ll start promoting Newt tomorrow. It’s a small first step.
Urglegurgle. I’m trying to prep a lecture on synapse formation, and just discovered that Herzog’s amazing film about Chauvet cave is available…so I’m trying to scribble up technical notes on molecular biology while getting constantly distracted by 32,000 year old cave paintings. It’s good to live in the 21st century, but I think my brain is getting full.
(Also on Sb)
