Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
I haven’t seen this! My spiders far prefer decorating with the heads of their prey.
Wow, that’s a bad burn.
It’s gotta rhyme, right?
Watterson
There’s this goofy meme going around, something like “Which musical genre would you get rid of, and why is it country music?” I don’t much care for most country music, but you don’t get to speak for my musical taste, and there’s some great country music out there (not Lee Greenwood, which is the poisonous crap I usually hear.) I will approve of the Chicks, though.
Besides, why would you pick on country music when Christian rock exists?
Would departments where you sit and observe spiders, or other non-humans, also count?
Yeah, that’s me, the tough guy.
What I don’t usually mention is that Mom is a gentle sweetie and not at all intimidating, and she didn’t raise me to be a tough guy. It doesn’t show, does it?
Do something nice for your mom today, if you have one. I would, but I have been judged unfit for the company of women and am in solitary confinement today.
I woulda sent in so many boxtops to join the club and get my secret decoder ring.
I like the name, though. “Arachnateers”. I should steal it.
Back when I was a kid, the local stations would have the creature features with the horror host on Friday and Saturday night, but they’d also show them on Saturday afternoons for the kids. It’s Saturday Afternoon. Are you ready for The Giant Spider Invasion? It stars, sorta, Alan Hale Jr. as the sheriff — he’s better known as the Skipper from Gilligan’s Island.
The first lines of dialog:
Young man: “Sheriff!”
Alan Hale Jr: “Hi, little buddy!”
Because of course they are.
Other notable facts: it takes place in northern Wisconsin, but none of the residents seem at all perturbed at finding tarantulas all over the place. Just the usual house spiders, I guess.
The big bad monster is cheesy and fake, but by the standards of low budget horror/skiffy of the day, it’s actually not too bad. They do a good job of framing it with the camera so you can’t see the puppeteers wiggling the legs and moving it along. I want one.
Also by the standards of the genre, they did an OK job imitating the chelicerae of a mygalomorph.
The story ends with an abrupt deus ex machina, but it’s really an excuse to show buckets of multi-colored goo and slime oozing out to an excessive degree from the dead spider puppet. Young me would have appreciated it.
