Remember Bryan Johnson? Here’s a reminder of his silly obsession.
Johnson famously claims to spend millions on his health each year, which goes towards keeping a personal army of doctors on hand who constantly monitor his biomarkers, and help carry out more unorthodox health interventions like swapping his blood out with his younger son’s and monitoring his nighttime boners (though he’s seemed to pare things back as of late).
Unfortunately, poor little Bryan is sick.
Bryan Johnson, in his quest for eternal youth, has been dealt a mortal blow.
Last week, the longevity-obsessed tech investor revealed that he had been diagnosed with an incurable autoimmune disease in which his “stomach is eating itself.”
He’s got autoimmune gastritis. It’s not a mortal illness, but it is a serious and uncomfortable chronic disease, nothing to be made light of. Pity him, but don’t plan the funeral just yet.
Besides, he’s going to turn this into a profit-making drama.
But, true to his mission, Johnson believes he can biohack his way out of this gut-punch, too.
“I’m going to try and solve it,” he wrote on X. “Will share all.”
The man is rich, he already spends millions of dollars on his health every year, and gastritis is a manageable illness. I’m pretty sure he’s going to live through this, it’s just become a significantly more uncomfortable process.
But someday, he will die.
He’s swallowed dozens and dozens of pills for years and now his stomach is acting up. Hmmmm???
Any chance frequent blood transfusions (or something else idiotic that he’s doing) confused his immune system? (Don’t know of that’s actually a thing) Because that would be karma.
To praphrae Bob Dylan from Matsers of War :
“All the money you made can never
buy back your soulextend your life.”@ ^Of curse the extra millions do buy access to far better healthcare than most USoAites could ever dream of getting and more medicines, treatments, etc.. which is obscene as viewed by most of the rest of the world and unjust as fuck. Still. Cannot buy immortality.
Long life is luck of the draw even for the rich. Jim Pattison is one of the richest men in Canada. His personal fortune is probably close to 10 billion dollars at this point. He’ll turn 98 October 1. I’m sure being rich has allowed him to have the best health care possible, but I’ve heard no stories he’s eating goat testicles or sleeps in a glass tube. He’s also donated large amounts of money to charity, including 50 million bucks in 2017 to the then under construction children’s hospital at the University of Saskatchewan here in Saskatoon. (He was born here.) It’s pretty hard to live forever if you don’t get a chance to leave childhood.
And Pattison can genuinely claim to have come from nothing, as his father lost everything during the Great Depression, and Pattison had jobs as a teenager like fruit picking, selling donuts, and working as a hotel page boy. He also was pretty ruthless once he started running the car dealership that began to make him rich, firing the poorest performing salesman each month.