I needed a morning shot of cynicism, so naturally I turned to stderr, where I learned all about bunkers.

As a former security guy, it’s hard to imagine an end-user who’s worse than the current dumbass-in-chief. He’s the kind of idiot who would post photos including the GPS co-ordinates. Not because he’s a 5G warfare expert, but because he’s 6G stupid. The 5G AIs are still cycling in tight loops printing “brain hurts brain hurts brain hurts brain …” over and over.

So, it looks like Turnip has completely blown the cover of an extremely expensive op that was going to be concealed as a ballroom with cost and labor overruns, while building a new continuity of government/nuclear bunker AKA “bolthole for the idiots who started a nuclear war.” This all started to go into overdrive during the Eisenhower administration. That was when Camp David was turned into a nuclear bunker (or, more precisely, the golf course covers a nuclear bunker). You can learn a lot more about this in the book [wc] Raven Rock, which does not talk much about Raven Rock, but talks a lot about Mt Weather, and Camp David and The Greenbrier. The Greenbrier, now, is mostly declassified and you can even visit it. It’s on my list of things to do, someday, but I am trying to find suitable company – you can’t go to that kind of place alone, you need someone with you who can look at the hinges you are pointing to and nod and whisper, “overpressure relief.”

I can appreciate that. I’d want Marcus Ranum as my tour guide at any government facility. Go read the rest to learn more about these depressing monuments to smug futility.

I needed more — it’s warm, the sun is shining, but my knees are aching and I need the grimness so I don’t try to dance — so I read about the wedding industry on TikTok. If you really want to harsh your mellow, it’s a tossup whether nuclear war bunkers or wedding influencers are worse.

There are a few industries that prey on emotion particularly brazenly. The funeral industry is one. The wedding industry is another. I knew this going in. I thought I could defeat hundreds of years of socially ingrained pressure backed by a multi-billion dollar consumer machine. No problem.

That got me thinking…if I really want regular reminders that the world sucks, I just need to tickle the algorithm just right. There’s no way I could convince TikTok or Instagram that I’m a blushing bride, but hey, I could easily induce funeral TikTok to lavish some attention on me.

If you suddenly see my instagram feed filling with posts about death and funeral planning, don’t worry — I’m feeling fine. I’ll be teasing the ghouls, nothing more.

If you have suggestions for better topics to fuel a morbid streak, do let me know. Not politics — I already know what a graveyard of hope that is right now.