This might be a better idea than a gun.
It comes in a pack of two, so one for the front door and one for the back.
Best of all, it would be totally honest advertising.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Good thinking! Most people are more afraid of spiders than of guns.
Yes, I know that’s irrational.
Years ago some friends with very expensive audio equipment put up a sign saying this property defended by attack rats. Nobody ever tried to break in.
Needs more spiders and fewer words.
DANGER- contains Black Widows
With a lovely picture of your pets as illustration.
Castle? I thought you lived in an Ivory Tower.
If you stated you have Australian spiders it would certainly keep me away.
I prefer to keep it simple: “Intruders will be killed and eaten.”
@5 Only two species of Australian spiders have the capacity to kill humans. The last person to die from a spider bite in Australia was in 1979.
Australia has way deadlier animals that spiders. Horses oddly enough.
So, if you turn your friends loose on an intruder, you’ll be using the castle doctrine as your defense after the intruder is found a couple days later hanging upside-down from a tree in your yard, wrapped in silk?
Gijoel@ 7
My mistake. We need Australian attack horses. And while we are about it, Australian land sharks. Yes, I know most sharks are wimps and usually just nibble a bit on humans so you you need to feed them steroids.
birgerjohansson,
What about the drop bears and cassowaries?
@birgerjohansson, #9: Steroids make your gonads shrink. You wouldn’t do that to a shark, would you?
How do you make spiders aggressive other than coating your victim with live grasshoppers?
Now, praying mantis, them guys are scary.
@9:
No steroids necessary — just preparing for the bar exam gives all of the same results without any injections. Not excluding the sociopathic-edging-toward-psychopathic side effects… or maybe those are features, not bugs.
Walter Solomon @10
I like the “cassovaries” idea, but how do you make them thrive in Minnesota winters? Drop bears will at least need an inner fur coat, like wolves have. And feed them human flesh, like the orchs of Isengard.