Clearly, I need to do more shopping at IKEA. I have enemies who deserve presents, and since they tend not to be very bright, it’s good that the instructions are so simple and clear.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
IKEA, tired of people complaining about allen wrenches, finally delivers a product that doesn’t require one.
…Although apparently it comes with one of those wrenches anyway. Nice little touch there, I thought.
@2. Oh, I missed that. You’re right of course.
Finally a good excuse to use all those nukes. Either way, there goes the planet. Well, biosphere at least.
#2 & 3
That’s not an Allen wrench. Obviously it is an Alien wrench.
No no. It’s an insinkerator Jam-Buster™ wrench.
Makes sense to me anyway.
…what, no mewling about how this is a THREAT OF VIOLENCE?
Let’s just nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
I dunno, some might argue that standard IKEA instructions would be far more torturous to go through.
How complex a maze of alien eggs do I have to negotiate before finally finding my way to the checkout? And can I find flamethrower power-ups along the way without having to sacrifice any meatballs?
Not the first time someone’s tried to combine IKEA with horror.
(Seriously, read this book!)