I normally don’t watch football, but I thought maybe I should get a little bit into the spirit of it all since I am from Seattle, and one of the teams has a corporate owner who has been gouging my relatives for a stadium and services for years. Besides, I’ve got my exams graded and my lecture prepared for Monday already, so any excuse to party, right? I’ve never been to a Superbowl party, either, so I’m not sure how one does it. But I’m sure there will be explanations and suggestions in the comments.
Then I checked the television schedule to see exactly when the event occurs. There’s a “pregame show” starting at 11am…and going on all afternoon? The game itself doesn’t start until 5pm, and it drags on until 9? I am expected to party for 10 straight hours? This is impossible. I’m exhausted already, and I’m not the one running and throwing a ball around. Perhaps this is why there is so much beer involved, to numb oneself to the perpetual droning demand to celebrate the remote viewing of young men giving themselves brain injuries.
I guess I’m not getting into the spirit of the thing. I might just turn on the TV for background noise while I’m working on this debate and talk I have to do in two weeks. My father used to watch football all the time, though, and he seemed to enjoy it (although there were many occasions when there was a lot of cussing), so I just feel a little bit obligated to try and find something footballish to do today.
Enjoy the Superbowl. Personally I’m looking forward to a different flavour of hand-egg.
We’re going to a wetland wildlife sanctuary for Superb Owl Sunday.
Not that I’m righteous or anything. I’ve been to Super Bowl parties before. One of my friends is a huge patriots fan (legitimately: he grew up in Boston and was a diehard fan of the patriots pre-Drew Bledsoe…a quarterback whose name I know because of this friend) and I watched one of the Pats’ SB wins and one of their SB defeats with him. My family was a sports family, and I watched plenty of them as a kid, too.
But I’m enjoying creating new traditions, and this Superb Owl Sunday seems good.
I haven’t followed football since I lived in Wisconsin. Then I moved to Upstate NY 11 years ago and discovered how much I totally didn’t miss hearing about football incessantly.
According to this article, “the average amount of time the ball is in play on the field during an NFL game is about 11 minutes” – so you’ll have plenty of time to do other things. I think that’s one reason watching American football is popular – you don’t have to pay attention. And if you miss something there will be 35 replays.
Now that we have a Puppy Bowl and a Kitten Bowl, can a Cephalopod Bowl be far behind?
I prefer sports that need two balls. Think I’ll watch some YouTube Paragliding, Hanggliding, and etc.
I haven’t followed pro sports in years. The only one, at all, that interests me is [my favorite college] football.
I have found that during the actual
stupidsuper bowl is a great time to do things you normally avoid because of the crowds – shopping, going to the movie, etc.Can we please not conflate daring with masculinity?
/Oppose sexism
@Doubting Thomas
Fuck you.
Comics:
On the one hand, this.
On the other hand, this.
Inb4anyone else says: “Commercials!!!”
I only watch the commercials. Commercials for showing during the superbowl are spectacularly fabulous. Gotta remember Apple’s “Big Brother” commercial for 1984 Superbowl. Only aired that ONE time, ever (all other showings, since, have been just commentary about it). Many car companies groom special commercials to sell their vehicles, especially for the Superbowl.
And then there’s the Halftime Extravaganza. Nipslip anyone? And other “final” appearences or “reunions”?
All that activity of 2 teams on the field is simply extraneous baggage to all the commercials and performances there.
This is !!Murrrica!! ,… commercials are the voice of the jobcreators to tell us to give them our money and they’ll give back these nice little trinkets.
The Superbowl has me rather down today because it’s a reminder of how many good people are actually quite hypocritical if being so is seen as fun or cool or popular. You’re not the first one, PZ, and you won’t be the last.
– x
As Nichrome pointed out above there are only about 11 actual minutes of play in a NFL game. IMHO, the reason football is America’s biggest sport is because of the promotion it gets in our media. And the reason it gets that promotion is because of those 11 minutes. Those 11 minutes leave room for all those other minutes for commercial after commercial.
Its all about sales.
When there are international football games on TV I like to play “who’s winning?” by listening to which apartment block is cheering. That’s fun. Unless the game starts late and somebody wins, which is usually the case, because then I’m not going to get much sleep, especially if it’s a European team.
We are not watching because American football helps to perpetuate harmful sexist stereotypes. The stars of the show (players, coaches, commentators, etc.) are entirely or almost exclusively men, while scantily clad women are literally relegated to the sidelines to dance provacatively and cheer them on.
Not exactly enlightened entertainment, in our view.
Seriously, an average of 11 minutes!? Blimey.
There must be a bit more actual play than that at the less-hyped levels, though, surely?
I will probably watch the game, more as a cultural thing and an excuse to eat snacks. I will be hoping for Seattle to win, as a former resident.
I used to watch the Seahawks, back when Steve Largent was something and Brian Bosworth was something else. I didn’t really want to watch, but it happened that the team was really good then, so I guess I was lucky there.
Seems my apparently sexist metaphor has offended. I heard somewhere that one does not have the right to not be offended, so I’m not offended by the “fuck you”. And by the way, I have lots of women friends who fly and are not offended by the joke. In fact I think I first heard it from one of them. Enjoy your testosterone fueled stupor bowl.
Doubting Thomas @ various
Because only people with testicles do daring things. And willingness to do daring things means you’re like a man, which is clearly better than being like a woman.
So? What do you imagine your point to be here?
Oh snap. Shots fired. Because clearly watching a sport played by men makes us hypocrites for pointing out that associating maleness with bravery is sexist.
Toddle off and whine somewhere else, brave little hero.
Well, clearly, the womenfolk you are acquainted with supersede any other woman’s authority on what she is to find offensive.
“My black friends don’t care if I use the N-word, what’s the big deal?”
I’ve never watched a football game in my life. Not going to start now!
There are plenty of good reasons to criticize the NFL and the Super Bowl, but I think the whole “11 minutes of play” bit is not too surprising or noteworthy. If you analyze any team sport, I believe you will find significant stretches of game time being used for regrouping, preparation, and uncontested movement. The only difference is that in American football, this time is formally marked by the whistle and the snap, so lazy reporters can pretend that the other 49 minutes of game time (plus time spent during clock stoppages) are somehow irrelevant and uninteresting wastes of time.
Doubting Thomas #18
A cuss word offends. Your comment, on the other hand, is outrageous. There is a big difference between calling you out for the self-observed sexist that you personally are, and between claiming that over half of the human race is inferior by design.
One is just a comment, the other is sexism.
____________________________
Giliell #14
Looks like somebody didn’t appreciate Germany winning the Cup… :P
If the TV is on at my house, I intend for it to be tuned to the Fish Bowl.
Or as it is known as throughout most of the world, Monday morning.
There is no comparison to soccer.
@23 de7h — yeah, soccer and hockey are generally fluid, but for infractions, and basketball can be a rush if the refs let them play, but our other major professional sport consists primarily of .45 seconds of object moving, followed by a split second of a fat old guy making a motion with his arm, and then 75 seconds of crotch adjustment, shimmying, hitting the ground with a wooden club, adjusting one’s gloves, shimmying, crotch adjustment, neck rotation, wiggling the wooden club, then the guy 60 feet six inches in front of him nodding and shaking his head at the guy crouched below the fat old man for another 20 seconds, and then the 0.45 seconds of drama again.
So the amount of time the ball is in play is not football’s problem.
But I must say that I’m a bit of a purist about Super Bowl parties — I get just a tad annoyed when all people talk about are the ads. There are 110 hardworking athletes and a lot of coaches and support staff who busted their asses to get there, and it’s a helluva accomplishment, as those things go..,…and yet everyone is talking about GoDaddy and Volkswagen. Bah. Humbug!
Geeze. Stepped in it I did. Make a small joke and I’m a sexist pig. FYI: the idea of facing a wall of meat while trying to hold on to a ball is far more terrifying than stepping off into the air from a high place. To each his own. I can only say that I have only the highest respect for the women who mentored me in learning to fly. I am truly sorry for the pain Y’all must have suffered to make you this sensitive to imagined slights. There was no intent to hurt on my part.
Annual reminder: “Super Bowl” is two words.
Other annual reminder: “Handegg” and “Superb Owl” were mildly funny the first few repetitions before the subsequent 300 million.
No you don’t.
Doubting Thomas: “ohhhh, guess I musta touched a nerve, there, huh? Huh? Amirite?”
… and nobody ever heard that before. Nope, truly original.
Don’t forget, DT, when digging an existing hole a little deeper it’s important to be careful of your technique – if only to avoid the risk of getting your foot lodged in your mouth.
First rule of holes, Tommy.
Nope, I for one find hand-egg funny every time. Poking the mildest of fun at what must be one of the most mind-bendingly overblown and hyper-macho sports industries in the world just never gets old (and it’s pretty funny as applied to rugby too). Though I will admit that I certainly don’t hear it as often as people in USAlienstan get to hear it, so there’s that I suppose.
Doubting Thomas:
I can totally see this happening. Really, I can.
But that doesn’t change that the original is an expression of systemic gender bias.
Just as black people might use the phrase “That’s mighty white of you” ironically or facetiously, or atheists might use the phrase “That’s very Christian of you” ironically or facetiously, does not change that the sentiments are ones that encode systemic racial bias and systemic religious bias, respectively.
/101
Doutbting Thomas @ 29
You made a sexist joke and were told it was sexist.
So, what was the point of the two balls joke then? If it wasn’t a snide implication that flying takes more guts than playing football, what was it? Or is saying “balls” just that funny?
“his”
We didn’t imagine it, cupcake. It’s right there, in text, upthread.
I don’t see anyone claiming to have been wounded by your words. We’re just criticizing them. Pull yourself together.
I have too much work to do today to really watch the game (law review doesn’t edit itself), but I will probably tune in for the Katy Perry concert. My facebook feed is already filling up with people who “only watch it for the commercials” because they “hate sportsball/handegg” though.
Alexander Z
Now, since people are blowing their horns for things like won qualification games, the title was just another drop in an ocean. And I would also not have appreciated Italy, Turkey, Russia, Ukraine, France or Spain winning. That should give you an insight into the background of my neighbourhood population.
It still amazes me that a part of the body with a tendency to make the entire bulk collapse at the slightest of grazes (or even the hint of one) is so often put forth as representative of courage, bravery, boldness, etc…
I think it’s a fun game to play, in its touch or flag or video formats, the strategy and decision making are intriguing and have something of a rock-paper-scissors thing going on.
But the TV presentation, with the endless commercials, and the interviews with people who have nothing to say…argh.
Throw in the brain injury and toxic masculinity all over the place, and yeah…I pass.
No kidding.
The commercials are the worst part though.
Saturday Night Live made fun of Super Bowl ads. SNL addressed the sexism in some of those ads really well.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/snl-commercial-superbowl-totinos
Scroll down for video.
– Sheng Wang, previously misattributed to Betty White (even by me)
I’m torn, myself. I have come to see football (American style) as very problematic because of the sexism and concussion things and left to my own devices, would probably drop it from my entertainment rotation and possibly go back to hockey.
Since I don’t live in a vacuum, I don’t see myself quitting the game because it’s something that my 87 year old father and I have bonded over for at least 20 years now. And dad absolutely hates hockey.
Yup, I do like the fact that I can follow the game and knit a complicated pattern at the same time! But one of the biggest reasons I like football is that it’s easy to follow the stats. Most other popular American sports involve dozens or even hundreds of games in a season and the stats get more complicated. 32 teams playing 16 games each is about the limit of my ability to follow statistically before it becomes a chore and diminishes my enjoyment.
George Carlin said:
full transcript
Carlin’s commentary totally colors my view of these sports; I think of him every Super Sunday. (but less so during the Whirld Series)
@OP
Get large amounts of beer, preferably cheap beer, and salty snacks like potato chips or corn chips and dips made with genuine imitation sour cream. Begin grazing about three hours before the pregame shows begin (about 4 AM) and have at least four beers per hour, more if your bladder will accommodate it. For supper have some fried chicken from a take-out place (get “extra crispy” because it has more sodium and trans-fat than the regular breading) and wash it down with more beer.
Crip Dyke: We’re going to a wetland wildlife sanctuary for Superb Owl Sunday.
That’s a superb appellation! Sounds like a fun activity too…
@Rey Fox #30:
Enjoy your obvious cultural advantage. This was the first time I’d heard ‘Superb Owl‘, and I chuckled.
@CaitieCat #39:
That’s an excellent observation! Pretty much every sport has this going on, and I’d suggest it’s what differentiates a sporting competition from an ‘Ugg hit rock wiv club’ show. For a spectator it’s comparatively easy to recognise and appreciate the physical expertise applied to a sport, but it can take a lifetime to grasp the tactics and choices, to quantitatively understand the associated risks and rewards, playing upon strategically-developed strengths designed to exploit perceived weaknesses. Obviously even the professionals don’t always get it right.
If the ball is only in play for an average of 11 minutes – and this is the only footage that makes it to the sports highlights – what the fuck is going on for the other two hours or whatever? I ask because that ratio of play time to stopped time seems especially ludicrous, being that the national football code of Australia has 80 minutes of official time and only maybe 20 minutes of added time from clock stoppages. Throw in a few minutes for a break at half time, and the complete hour twenty match will be done in about an hour fifty.
We went to our first and only Super Bowl party a couple of months before we moved from California.
It was in a nice home in Pebble Beach, so there was good food and lots of excellent California wine.
My hubby and I enjoyed socializing with some friends, and I don’t think that either of us looked at the television very often.
I didn’t see a nice word said about the event. Where is this hypocrisy? The fact that he’ll have it on in the background as noise?
@Doubting Thomas
As a hang glider pilot, I really appreciate that you’re promoting the sport. But as you probably know the community is tiny, overwhelmingly male, and depends critically on the goodwill of land owners and the public in general for access to launch sites and landing zones. I beg of you to consider your words and responses carefully in any forum in which you choose to act as ambassador for the sport. It’s ok to make a joke or say something that you didn’t expect or mean to be hurtful; we’ve all done that. But if you get called out about it, the only thing you should do is apologize, with no further qualifications or explanations. Please consider that if you’ve previously tried to promote HG and PG, getting defensive reflects badly on the sport as whole. And that’s especially true when the joke might alienate half the population. If women joined the sport at the same rate as men, we’d come pretty damn close to doubling in size.
And that’s a real shame, because the HG and PG community is among the most welcoming I’ve experienced to people of all backgrounds and skill levels. I left the gaming community a long time ago because of how terrible people are to new or casual players. Gamergate has obviously done nothing to improve my opinion. I found the maker community to be stand-offish and patronizing, especially to women. But almost everyone in HG loves newbies, and now that I’m often the more experienced pilot on the hill, it’s been great to pay that forward. Like any community, it has its faults, but its really among the best of the hobbies I’ve tried over the years.
Oh, and I’d also encourage you not to link HG and PG with requiring excessive courage. It’s really more of a zen sport than an adrenaline sport, but it still has a reputation for being unsafe that hasn’t been true for 20 years. The injury rate in football is much much higher than in free flight, so to the extent that bravery in a sport reflects how likely you are to get hurt, football players are much much braver than we are! This isn’t a trivial matter, either, since that perception affects the willingness of landowners to participate and USHPA’s insurance premiums…
That 11-minutes thing is kind of bogus. A big part of the game is strategizing and setting up, which requires communication and getting the players into place. I read a better refutation of it, but just recall thinking that you wouldn’t slag chess just because the pieces are only in motion for a second or so.
A woman I knew in Seattle referred to it as “pointy ball”.
I like to watch football, but there are better things to do, and I never care who wins. Still, it is the product of a lot of people working very hard, and the Super Bowl is the culmination of a lot of dreams. I mean, the Miss Universe pageant was on last night, and the Super Bowl is more of a competition than that, with talent and training and skills and all. Lisa Simpson said it best, “…the savage ballet that is pro football.”
A college professor was asked about football back in the 1930s. He said something like, “I am just as impressed by a moving recitation of Browning as by a touchdown run. The difference is, when I hear Browning, I do not smash my hat.”
I haven’t spent any time in the past year commenting on how bad the NFL is (though I have heard a little on NPR). I also don’t plan to watch the Superbowl today. It doesn’t make me a non-hypocrite, just apathetic. It always amazes me how much people care about pro sports.
Apologize? For what exactly? I could have said that I have no interest in sports that involve balls, but a) I didn’t think it was funny and 2. Someone would have decided that was sexist too. Ya know, I do usually try to be careful with my choice of words and try not to be insensitive toward others. But I think some folks look for offense, and assume intent. In this case I think the response was way out of proportion.
As for representing the flying sports, I’ve been around for 40+ years and the lack of participation by women (and black folk) has always been a shame in my opinion. That does seem to be changing and I am glad to see it. And if I was to fuck up and say something stupid to or about anyone, I would apologize.
Oh, and I do happen to use two (golf practice) balls on my paraglider control toggles. Make of that what you will. ;-)
Doubting Thomas that is one big fat nonpology. You seem oblivious as to why anyone could be offended by such a cute little joke, nudge-nudge, wink-wink. Why, even the womenfolk you know laugh at it. Well Thomas, in that one little joke you belittled the daring-do of every woman. Bravery and a sense of daring and adventure are common to us all.
I also think probably look for reasons to tell people that you are a pilot as if it sets you apart from the rest of us.
I’ll be watching the Volcom Pipe Pro if the weather and swell hold. Wave size is definitely dropping though. Might have one on the tv and the other on my laptop.
@Doubting Thomas
You really need this explained to you? Somehow I doubt it. I think you’re just as happy to be a sexist asshole. That’s your fucking intent. Oh, and I’m not “offended” and hypersensitive, looking for reasons to spoil my mood. I come to Pharyngula because it’s a space where usually I don’t feel denigrated because I happen to be a woman. That’s what I’m looking for. I’m not looking to be sucker punched by some stupid joke about how because I’m female, I’m inherently less courageous, that, despite all the brave things that I have done, and all the brave things the women around me and around the world have done–and done despite the fact that assholes like you denigrate them and question their capacity to be brave–you think it’s amusing to say that courage is a masculine trait and if you don’t have it, it’s because you’re too much like a woman. What I feel is not hurt. It’s anger and contempt.
Also, please note that this response has nothing to do with either football or hang gliding or comparing the attributes required of participants in those activities. Because that obviously went over your fucking head.
Doubting Thomas @55
Three things:
1. You made a sexist joke. If you don’t think it was sexist then you’re wrong. It was sexist. You should spend the time to climb off your high horse and realize that it was sexist for the reasons several people have already explained.
2. Regardless of your feelings about the joke, many people in the audience thought it was sexist. You need to apologize to them for your unthinking sexism. You’re not being accused of misogyny. However as a man you’re in a position of privilege that women don’t have and many privileged people are blind to offenses that the unprivileged see, often all the time.
3. If you’re going to tell a joke, make it a funny one. Your joke lacked this particular quality.
Yeah, it’s nice to know that football and other popular team sports don’t have a monopoly (or oligopoly) on d-baggery and pointless swagger.
Actually I kinda would. The yawning chasms between moves was always incredibly tedious for me, so much so that I found the big famous matches utterly unwatcheable. Note that I was actually into chess at the time – to the extent of joining the school chess team for several years and attending a chess ‘clinic’ on my precious saturdays.
Anyway, getting back to football codes: I mentioned that the Australian code has gameplay of about an hour twenty-to-forty… and the thing is, the ball is in motion and the players are running about tackling etc. a good 80% of the time.
Thus, I cannot figure out American football in the slightest.
The 11 minutes thing is part of the appeal of football for me. Most other sports have a lot of continuous action, which makes that action feel boring. I like that the action in football happens in bursts, because it makes the action itself that much more interesting.
More than anything, though, I grew up watching football, and I like rooting for my favorite team.
Also, I should be allowed to enjoy something I enjoy and be concerned about concussions at the same time.
I’m working until 10 pm. Otherwise I couldn’t care less about an injury-causing kids game played by horrendously overpaid adult that’s drooled over by brutish Americans only because gladiatorial bloodsports aren’t legal…yet.
@Akira: Wait, which professional sport in particular are you talking about?
I like seeing people do amazing things, and sport does provide the opportunity to see experts excelling in their field under immense pressure in a way that few other pursuits allow.
You don’t need professional sports’ trappings for that, but I’ll put up with the ads and the hype to see adults forget how grown up they are and succumb to the child-like glee because they did something well. You know, when you’re just so excited you lose your biscuit and don’t know how to express your happiness? That.
It’s not cerebral, but it sure is human.
Giliell #37
My relatives in Munich also live in a diverse neighborhood. Thankfully they don’t have any noisy super-fans, but they’ve said that the various national events can bring out the worst in their neighbors.
This does seem to be limited to English. Same for guts, BTW.
Yeah – you.
@ Akira MacKenzie #63
Do you feel better now that you’ve patted yourself on the back for not being a “brutish american” who enjoys watching a “kid’s game”? I’m just part of the common rabble, so let me now step on out of your superior way. My oh-so-humble apologies.
If y’all want to complain about a sport or sports in general, can you do it without sounding like a bunch of fucking rich, smug, “civilized” assholes? So you don’t like “blue collar” entertainment. Good for you and your high and mighty ass.
kellyw. #67
oh my
New here, you are?
kellyw @ 67
Yup, in point of fact, I do.
Re-reading my original post, I don’t recall disparaging the working poor.
Now, kindly go fuck yourself. Thanks.
Doubting Thomas @ 55
The response to your joke was to tell you that your sexist joke was sexist. To which you responded with a load of passive aggressive, patronizing whining about how totally hypersensitive and eager to take offense everyone is. There has definitely been a disproportionate response here, but it’s not ours.
Which is the greater crime? Blaspheming Yahweh, blaspheming against football, or blaspheming against America? All three seem to be angry, stupid, violent, spiteful deities followed and defended by equally-scary fanatics.
David @66:
Cojones?
#69
I see no other interpretation here but deliberate arseholery. Or was there another point?
kellyw @67:
You don’t know much about the commentariat here it seems.
Plus, you completely misunderstood Akira’s points about football.
****
Doubting Thomas:
You said something sexist. You keep digging down and trying to rationalize or justify it.
Stop doing that.
If you said something racist, even without intending to do so, would you apologize?
If you said something homophobic, even without intending to do so, would you apologize?
If you said something transphobic, even without intending to do so, would you apologize?
But here, you’ve said something sexist, have been called out on it, and instead of recognizing that you offended people, however unintentionally (as you say), you refuse to apologize. Why is that? Do you like the fact that you offended people? Do you not care that you offended people? Is your ego so inflated that you can’t be bothered to apologize to others when you offend them? Do you only apologize if you intentionally offend someone?
Shorter me: you were an asshole. Apologize.
Or fuck off.
Well you might be surprised that the cheaters won thanks to a bad pass by Seattle”s Jesus Freak quarterback which was intercepted at the end of the game. The same one who thanked god for his improbable victory over Green Bay despite 4 interceptions.
I wonder whose side god was on this time. But of course the quarterback blamed himself and not his sky daddy.
Tony!, I read here all the fucking time and I’ve been doing so for years. I did not misunderstand Akira’s post AT ALL.
Fuck you, Akira. I read your post SEVERAL times, and it’s exactly what sanctimonious assholes say to us “common folk” all the fucking time. I’ve heard this sentiment from the intellectual elite ever since I was little. You don’t have to say the word “poor” to be talking about the poor.
I have plenty of criticism to throw at football culture, and the same can be thrown at atheist culture, too. But please continue to make implied assumptions. Again, fuck off.
Je Suis le Requin Gauche!