Goofy numerologist


Some guy challenged me to an ignorance contest by sending me this:

wierdshit

I conceded. There’s just not much to say about that.

Now he’s sneering at me.

The genius in you managed to digest all that without looking up references in under 10 minutes huh? Right. It paralysed you.

Yep. One glance, and I digested it all. Then I was paralyzed with laughter.

Comments

  1. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    The genius in you managed to digest all that without looking up references in under 10 minutes huh? Right. It paralysed you.

    Nope, I was actively laugh at numerology, a pseudo-pseudo-pseudoscience. You were being laughed at for believing such tripe.

  2. Michael says

    I wonder if he would appreciate that Jesus wouldn’t have used the modern alphabet, nor was the original bible written in modern English, thus making has analysis pointless (A bit like translating Shakespeare’s plays into Klingon before analyzing them for hidden messages). Probably not, but a fun point to make.

  3. robro says

    I think I get it:

    T H I S
    7 6 5 6 = 24

    I S
    5 6 = 11

    S T U P I D
    6 7 6 3 5 4 = 31

    24 + 11 + 31 = 66 = the number of books in the Bible*

    Wow! It works. Just like the Bibles.

    * Somebody’s Bible.

  4. Owlmirror says

    English Gematria is so much not a thing. Do it in Hebrew עברית or GTFO.

    At the very least, do it in a language that actually existed during the time that the bible was written.

  5. Amphiox says

    At the very least, do it in a language that actually existed during the time that the bible was written.

    Also, do it in a number system that was actually used during the time the bible was written….

  6. Lyn M: G.R.O.S.T. (ADM) -- Membership pending says

    Gosh, you guys are so picky! Insisting he use the right language, the appropriate number set, acting as if numerology were without foundation. That’s harsh!
    I mean it probably took him ages to set all that up! And look, he gives accreditation to internet handles. It must be for realz!
    Right? Come on, right?

  7. says

    Well, at least it’s released under the terms of a free culture license? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    (Or not, depending on how you view the NonCommercial clause)

  8. Rey Fox says

    I wonder if he would appreciate that Jesus wouldn’t have used the modern alphabet, nor was the original bible written in modern English, thus making has analysis pointless

    Heathen. Jesus wrote all that in the language of his chosen people: Americans.

  9. Cuttlefish says

    I knew a numerologist once.

    I think maybe it would be best if we locked the two of them in a room and let them argue out their differences. If they come to an agreement before the air runs out, we can let them out.

    They won’t.

  10. David Marjanović says

    13.7 billion years is the age of this universe containing this planet we refer to as earth

    Actually it’s 13.798 ± 0.037 billion years. Science Marches On.

    Also, do it in a number system that was actually used during the time the bible was written….

    For the New Testament, that would be this.

  11. damiki says

    You guys laugh, but one of the anagrams for “Ken Ham is right” is “PZ Myers is wrong” (or something close to that).

    Tell me that’s not a message for the deity.

  12. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    But if you put two numerologists in a room, surely they’d multiply.

    My feat is that they would cancel each other out, forming a perfect vacuum, and imploding the universe into a gigantic black hole. Or some such thing.

  13. WhiteHatLurker says

    So Frankincense is the answer to the ultimate question!

    Ask him what he got for 62 down. I can’t figure it out. 8 letters starts with A ends with E “informal for numerologist”.

  14. Lofty says

    Plus, if your congregation is big enough, you can do this stuff counting on fingers. Smaller congregations will have to take their socks off.

  15. chigau (違 ,う) says

    WhiteHatLurker #28
    I’ve got one for 7 letters.
    Unless you’re a Brit. Then I’ve got one for the 8.
    Strangely, they mean the same thing.

  16. woozy says

    The genius in you managed to digest all that without looking up references in under 10 minutes huh?

    Um, How could this possibly take more than 10 minutes? Giving this the full credence and attention that I’d give a serious an legitimate research article, what requires more than 10 minutes? You assign a number to each letter in a simply linear fashion and compare sums of common phrases that are known to anyone. Okay, I *could* spend time proofing the math but I’ll take his word for it that it’s valid. So… three minutes top. Seriously, what is there to digest?

    ====
    So, poetry requires word restriction based on syllable and meter and is every bit as puzzling and restrictive and statistically significant. So why does no-one assume that because something can be fitted into a limerick or haiku or sonnet it is somehow prophetic?

    That “Vote” and “oat” and “moat” rhyme is every bit as unusual as LORD, GOD, and RNA DNA = 13. So what does “vote” “oat” and “moat” *mean*? Inquiring minds want to know.

  17. Amphiox says

    I’ll give him this. His little page makes for a more entertaining addition-practice-set for the kiddies that some of that Kumon stuff….

  18. anteprepro says

    A Hamster = 32 = Christ
    Ass= 13 = God
    Jism= 16 = Bible
    Fucking Shit = 37 = Sixty Six
    Fuckwit = 40 = A Christian
    Good Cocaine Party = 53 = Christianity

    The numbers don’t lie.

  19. congaboy says

    S-E-V-E-N-T-H L-O-K-A H-U-G-E G-I-T
    6-5-5-5-1-7-6 2-2-7-6 = 43 43 = 6-6-7-5 7-5-7

    Coincidence? I think not!

  20. Cuttlefish says

    @#31–Alas, woozy, poetry hasn’t rhymed in decades. Love, and dove, and God above… doesn’t matter to today’s poets. Rhyming is strictly for amateurs, wannabes, doggerelists, and cuttlefish.

    Or so I hear.

  21. Saad says

    chigau,

    Please arrange an introduction between louismorelli and Seventh Loka.

    Imagine the paper resulting from that collaboration.

  22. Rasalhague says

    Being consistent, I’d have to assume that the @ symbol has the value 2.

    In which case, you get:

    @Sevenlokas = JESUS + MORON

  23. vereverum says

    Simon Peter went up, and drew the net to land full of great fishes, an hundred and fifty and three… (Joh 21:11)
    Three digit number, the sum of the third power of each of the three digits equals the number itself.
    1^3+5^3+3^3=153. Much more interesting than Seventh Loka’s stuff.
    It’s called a narcissistic number.
    Don’t know why I thought of it.

  24. jez says

    In other news:

    GOD = 13 = NOBODY
    HOLY BIBLE = 28 = GARBAGE
    ATHEISM = 31 = TRUTH

    This numerology stuff really works!

  25. s3m3rs says

    The devil may be in all the details, but God is apparently in all the numbers.

    I dwelt on numerology for all of about 3 months. I read through that baloney in 184 seconds.

    no one has to try THAT HARD to look for big G. (also, send this feller Foucault’s Pendulum STAT)

    Our pastor once said to us something about “if you aren’t getting anything out of your religion, look at what you are putting into it”. What that says about this fellow is…..maybe too much Dan Brown instead of Eco?

    bah, bah, bad sheep
    his head might be full of wool…

    I’m doing a bit of woolgathering myself….I haven’t ranted about Dan “Conspiracy” Brown in a while.

  26. Grewgills says

    @ Michael #3
    That just proves his awesome power. He knew how his story would be translated into English and engineered all of that 2000 years ago. You should be extry impressed.

  27. kc9oq says

    Following the Arabic abjad system of numerals, ALLAH [in Arabic] (1+30+30+5)=66=”the number of books in the Bible” (according to SevenLokas).

    I don’t even want to contemplate the implications of this…

  28. says

    Wut?

    He is not even consistent in his woo – see how he works differently with the phrase “jesus is risen lord” and “rna dna” in order to ger results that match.

  29. says

    vereverum #39
    I’ve heard people speculate that the inclusion of that specific number of a holdover from Greek philosophical schools. Perhaps the bible story is a retelling of an earlier parable, involving some other teacher.

    The bible is so much more interesting once you get rid of the notion that it’s all supposed to be literally true.

  30. vaiyt says

    The main problem I have with this pic are not the numbers, is that they’re connected with a bunch of unsupported assertions.

  31. says

    I thought, for a chuckle, that it might be fun to run through the (ahem) numbers.*

    I scanned the first line, guffawed, then wandered off to fetch an adult beverage, chortling to myself.

    *My math skills are poor.

  32. says

    Also, we now see proof that it was no accident that our genetic material came to be known as DNA. It was obviously the hand of gawd which caused that to come about.

  33. david says

    The square root of 18900 isn’t 137.47727089, where he chose to truncate it. In decimal notation, it’s a non-repeating endless value (irrational). His formula needs more digits. Either that, or find a place where god commands him to round irrationals to 8 decimal digits.

  34. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    Does this guy perchance live in Oregon or Colorado? Or does he have a prescription for his inspiration.

  35. says

    Ah, numerology. The pseudo-science of math. When you’ll accept any combination instead of a particular one, you’re extremely likely to find patterns like this. It’s kind of like the birthday problem in that regard.

  36. congenital cynic says

    That is a page of concentrated foolishness, the like of which I have not seen in a very long time. The only part of it that boggled my mind is the fact that there are people who actually believe this nonsense. Amazing, really. A total disconnect from rationality.

  37. says

    Re the whole ‘paralyzed’ claim, I find myself thinking if there is not yet a single adjective nor past participle in our language which means ‘convinced to not even fucking bother by the sheer inanity of and incompetence evidenced by the claim presented’, there probably should be…

    (I mean, I coulda used it a few times, last year, at least.)

  38. says

    The original KJV contained the apocrypha, and numerous archaic spellings, and better yet, archaic letters like long-S and thorn, and use of v for u and i for j. So he’s not even using the right alphabet, unless he thinks God inspired the New International Version. It’s also fairly easy to tweak the number of books, i.e. in Jewish Bible First and Second Chronicles are a single book.

    Is there a term for seeing meaning in coincidental connections? I know pareidolia is an important evolutionary adaption but surprising number of people seem to have such a strong belief in stunningly uninteresting stuff that they send tweets to random people they don’t like.

  39. ck, the Irate Lump says

    The numerologist seems to have not completely mastered counting, based on how the english alphabet was encoded. To help him out, the Fact Sphere would like to provide him with a bit of help: If you have trouble with simple counting, use the following mnemonic device: one comes before two comes before 60 comes after 12 comes before six trillion comes after 504. This will make your earlier counting difficulties seem like no big deal.

  40. s3m3rs says

    brianpansky – apophenia? or apohenia? either way, you’re right ;-) i am possibly missremembering that word on the fly, mind!

  41. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @Ollip:

    numerology = giant hoax

    !???!

    click, whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr……………………………………………………………………

  42. Trebuchet says

    @55:

    Does this guy perchance live in Oregon or Colorado? Or does he have a prescription for his inspiration.

    That would be Washington, not Oregon. Home of Ophelia Benson, Dana Hunter, and myself. Also birthplace of PZ Myers!

  43. dannorth says

    @55

    As noted by keen eyed Numerobis @2 the guy hails from the town of Sept-Îles, in Québec, Canada.

    In all of Canada he would need a prescription for medical use but possession for personal use has been decriminilazed some years ago.

  44. Mobius says

    So

    Jesus = 45666

    Aha. Jesus contains the Number of the Beast. That settles it. Jesus is the Antichrist.