It’s going to suck, isn’t it? My expectations are pretty much pegged at zero on this one.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
It’s going to suck, isn’t it? My expectations are pretty much pegged at zero on this one.
I, for one, look forward to seeing the original cast members in their space-walkers, shaking their space-canes and yelling at the kids, “Get off my space-lawn!”
Hey, it will likely be better than Return of the Jedi. Then again one of the prequels was better than Return of the Jedi, so that’s not saying much. (Other than the Penultimate scene Return of the Jedi was a rehash with teddy bears added to kidify it and overall wasn’t very good. In my opinion “Episode III” was actually better overall.)
In my head cannon, there are only three Star Wars movies.
Hmmmm.
“I can turn him back—to the Good Side!”
“From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!”
Eh, from where I stand, RoTS and RoTJ are about at parity. :-P
if they make R2 fall in love with Fu780L, I’m exploding something.
1) The fuck is up with that lightsaber? I understood the idea of a double bladed lightsaber, sure, but a light crossguard? Just use a cortosis weave, ffs!
2) Where’s the discussion of environmental policy?
Still, shut up and take my money protocols are in effect.
Tatooine? Again?
Ground-level spacecraft battles are cool and all, but call me when they have a spacecraft battle in an oceanic trench.
Was there anything in the franchise that didn’t suck? Proof that banality pays, if you know how to package it, and get John Williams to write the score. The parodies by Robot Chicken and Family Guy were better written and more intelligent.
I’m cautiously optimistic. Abrams has his issues, but the Star Trek movies were pretty fun overall, and those were for a franchise he didn’t even LIKE. I think he and everyone knows that fucking this up will probably result in an army forming and marching on Hollywood to burn it to the ground. I’m not sure about the cinematography in this trailer, but at least there weren’t any lens flares.
@Athywren; Kitty Wrangler #6:
Internal-combustion-lightsaber exhaust is bad for the environment!
I’m not sure why you think it’s going to suck based on that trailer, aside from the dumb light saber with the redundant bits coming out the sides. That was silly.
Crossguards. Dudes, how many people got their hands hacked off in the other trilogies? Yeah.
Somebody’s still flying the Millenium Falcon? It belongs in a museum.
I’m still waiting to see how much Hobbit III will suck. I suspect my suckage meter will have to go to the shop.
Immediately after Star Wars One – the original back in the ’70’s, I was unimpressed & remain so regarding the sequels, prequels, prequel-sequels and sequel-prequels. How many iterations of Gunfight at the O K Corral (despite glitzy costumes & effects) can they churn out? And good actors like Stuart throwing their talent away on the small screen . . . . Pfaugh.
I am really optimistic. Maybe it’s the way Disney has been announcing great people to write and direct all these new Star Wars films. Maybe it’s what JJ did with that first Trek movie, or maybe it’s the fact that the two main leads in the film are a black man and a woman. Apparently the woman (Daisy Ridley) is the lead.
Episode III had lots of Ian Mcdiarmid in it.
Pretty much the only good thing about it
See what you did there I did.
Wouldn’t the cross guards need guards? Otherwise loss of fingers
Okay Felix @14, Crossguards. They’re not silly after all, and this movie might just be cool
Rob Grigjanis #10
The first movie [Episode 4] didn’t suck when it was released.
It was FUCKING AWESOME.
Critics who saw it in their smelly, old, 1977 theeaters were bouncing up and down in their seats and cheering. (The special effects were ground-breaking. and AWESOME)
It was only after they had returned home and calmed down that they got all sniffy about the clichés and cheese.
After that is was all downhill.
Fan culture is hilarious. 90 seconds of a Star Wars teaser and already everyone’s nitpicking the fuck out of every frame.
I heard they were bringing in Michael Bay just to do the explosions.
Huh, apparently the bad guy’s weapon of choice is a flaming cross. That ought to be worth at least a blasphemy point.
Well, it already looks better than all 3 prequels, though admittedly that is a pretty low bar of excellence to set.
chigau @23: I’m old enough (60 tomorrow!) to have seen the openings of Star Wars and Alien (a couple years later) while an (more or less) adult. The effects in both weren’t much more impressive to me than those in 2001; Star Wars just relied on them more.
Reaction to Star Wars: How did they get Alec Guinness and Peter Cushing? Oh yeah. Money.
Reaction to Alien: Holy Fuck! More! Now!
#8 I know but deserts don’t cost much to rent.
#14 How do you count Annie/Vader? In eps 2 he lost his right arm and got it replaced, in eps 3 he lost his left arm and got that replaced, then in eps 6 Luke cut off the robot hand. So does that count as 3 or 2 since the third hand wasn’t his “real” hand.
I’ll probably see the movie, but I’m not holding out for it. I think what JJ did to Star Trek was horrible, but since I’m not as much of a Star Wars fan I may not notice as much.
It will be interesting how they explain what stormtroopers and tie fighters are doing there. I thought the troops were all clones so was that salvaged armor or did the Empire start recruiting. One thing that was a disappointment was the lack of new ships. Every Star Wars movie up until now showed us new ships on both sides. But we’re seeing X-wings, tie fighters, and the Falcon. Not that I’m complaining but some new New Republic would have been awesome.
Rob Grigjanis
Happy Birthday!M!
I reach 60 in April.
My reaction to the first Alien:
They’re on an interstellar spacecraft with big dark mystery spaces with steaming pipes???
and
I want to be Ripley when I grow up.
chigau @30: Thanks! What I loved about Alien, apart from the steaming pipes (which were awesome), was the way it fucked over my expectations. Brave handsome captain gets killed halfway through? Huh? What can they possibly do now? Ripley is still the scifi hero nonpareil to me.
hell, Splinter of the Mind’s Eye should have been the only sequel. :) Yes, I did like that a lot!
Welcome to the internet Martin.
***
The movies always hinted that the empire was a bunch of human supremacists, and the EU ran with it, so thematically, burning-cross Sith makes sense actually.
***
You still wanted to grow up at age 25?
Not as much as if they had used crossguards that were as good at cutting your own hand off due to being made like a lightsaber as it is good at guarding against other lightsabers.
Especially given its size. If you held the blade at 90 degrees to your arm then the lightguard would be parallel to your arm so the longer it is the less of an angle you need to move the blade back for the guard to reach the arm.
So with your opponent using this lightsaber you don’t need to cut his arm with yours, you just need to cross sabers and push their blade back a little bit for their own weapon to cut their own arm.
Crossguards? Great!
Razor sharp crossguards? Not so much.
But then besides movies, books and video games I don’t know much about melee weapons so maybe somebody more knowledgeable can explain why I’m wrong and it is not a stupid idea.
laurentweppe @33: I’m nearly 60, and I’d like to grow up. Unfortunately, I’m shackled by belonging to a species which never does.
laurentweppe
You must be a youngster.
I’m with Rob.
Almost 60 and still hoping to grow up.
I’ve got mixed feelings on that one. That narrator was awful – seriously, he sounded like a fake fan trailer narrator trying to do his best “deep” voice. But on the other hand, that scene with the stormtroopers (wait, what?) on the ship was pretty cool.
Also . . . Tattooine again? Really? At least the Prequel Trilogy had a reason for going back to Tatooine again, which was that it was the one place that Darth Vader would never choose to go back to if he could help it. And the Falcon dodging fighters over Tattooine looked terrible.
@thelastholdout
That’s what I’m hopeful for as well. Knowing Abrams, the plot of the movie will be . . . iffy, but he’ll make it flashy, exciting, and fast-paced enough that most people won’t care. The worst that could happen is that Star Wars goes down the Men in Black route, becoming boring in the sequels because they’re too worried about deviating away from the basic plot structure and themes of the OT.
All you kids turning 60: Whippersnappers!
When I saw that lightsabre, I didn’t think “crossguard”, I thought “cross”. Just another sign that Hollywood is persecuting Christians.
The only thing Abram’s has done I liked was the first season of Lost. I enjoyed that, but it quickly degenerated into a pointless, aimless, eye holder for advertisers when it returned with obviously no substance to back it’s mysteries.
For the first half of his second Star Trek I was surprised, I thought he may have made a film I would enjoy throught out – then the second half happened.
But still, I thought as he tried to turn Star Trek into Star Wars he may have found his home at last, and the promising signs of using practical effects, hints of a positive use of original cast members, but alas, he seems to have caught the long term infection that destroys all new Star Wars – interest in the Force and Jedi.
It’s STAR WARS, not STAR JEDI or STAR FORCE. The Force and Jedi were plot devices of one story. The constant demand to shoe them in everywhere kills my interest.
I heard there was a Star Wars novel written that was about an incursion by ravening aliens from another galaxy. That I thought was a good enough idea on it’s own – in the aftermath of civil war and common enemy binds republicans and imperials into an uneasy alliance, y’know, a Star War.
Seeing that stupid, hokey, flaming light sabre with a cross guard suggests something pretty sad to me.
Though I loved the Falcons moment in the sun – more of that, less of the fan service to dull nonsense please.
Trebuchet #38
re: The Cross
Yup.
Plus, to be a practical weapon, the ‘cross’ must be …. upside-down.
{scary organ music}
To be fair, Jedi were from the get-go just too powerful (mind control, pretty much invincible unless killed by a peer or shot in the back by someone they trust, can crush your heart at a distance if you bother them too much) to not be central characters in everything related to Star Wars.
In fact, one thing the original trilogy did right was displaying clear limits to the Jedi as an institution: trapped on a gilded pedestal of prestige and influence, they had become blind to the institutional rot which was slowly but surely sapping the foundations of the republic they were sworn to protect, were so mired in their traditions that they never thought that a Sith would be patient enough to spend decades posturing as a mere politician willing to play by the rules and their veneer of asceticism proved to be completely unfit to rein in a gifted youth who had good reasons to be pissed at the universe.
I beg to disagree
I hate that apparently Hollywood has decided that there is ONE GUY for sci-fi stuff and his name is JJ Abrams, because apparently SF fans aren’t supposed to care about plot and characterization and are easily wowed by flashy effects and fucking lens flares. Oooh bright lights! Take my money!
Eh, they probably have a point.
I have low expectations. I’ll get excited when we finally get a screen adaptation of one of Iain M. Banks’ (PBUH) Culture novels.
An axe is not a sword.
generic
I’ll be excited when we finally get a screen adaptation of one of William Gibson’s novels.
(do NOT mention Johnny Mnemonic)
(that never happened)
I’ve heard they have denied it is Tatooine, just another sandy planet. Of course that question came up because they were filming in the desert, so what else are they gonna say.
An halberd is not an axe, it’s a cleaving polearm
I
standsitslump corrected.chigau (違う) @45
I want to see Mona Lisa Overdrive but for the audience to understand it Neuromancer and Count Zero would also have to be done.
That was one of the few movies I’ve ever walked out of.
I’ll wait until the NZB comes out.
(I wanna see a Gateway movie. Why no Fred Pohl movies, huh?)
Sorry for the threepost, but also… the aforethreadmentioned Left Hand of Darkness would make a great movie.
The puzzling thing about the cross guard whatever thing is that in between the blades is a vulnerable spot.
Normal lightsabers have always had that vulnerability, but in this case it somehow seems more ridiculous because an enemy blade is actually expected to get in very very close proximity of it.
I agree with @inflection #26 about the Evil Cross Sword, cheesy or not that will actually make the fundies whine and that’s what’s important.
As a kid, I found Star Wars awesome.
Prequels? What “prequels”? http://xkcd.com/566/
@Naked Bunny, 12
Ohhh, so that’s why they buzz and splutter? Makes sense, actually.
@Alverant, 29
It will be interesting how they explain what stormtroopers and tie fighters are doing there. I thought the troops were all clones so was that salvaged armor or did the Empire start recruiting.
To the first point, the first generation of stormtroopers were clones – even by the time of ep 4, they were a conscripted/recruited army.
As for whether it’s salvaged armour… I guess it depends on how much of the EU is still canon, but my money’s on them being the Imperial Remnant – the empire still has cash flow and armaments, they’re just not quite so empirical anymore.
@laurentweppe, 47
Oi! Language!!
I fucking love halberds… in RPGs, anyway. Weaponmaster with halberd specialisation, monkey grip and a tower shield? Yes please!
Alverant @29: Stormtroopers were originally only the clones created during the Clone Wars, but by the time of the Galactic Civil War (Eps 4-6) the Empire was using many different clones, not just those based of Jango Fett, as well as human enlistees. Luke himself was planning on leaving to join the Imperial Academy to become a pilot.
Brett @37: Eh, Abrams is an alright writer. I’m cautiously optimistic for this film because Lawrence Kasdan co-wrote the script. He was a co-writer on The Empire Strikes Back (IMHO the best SW film) and Raiders of the Lost Ark (IMHO the best Indiana Jones film) so I’m hoping maybe he had a large hand in the screenplay. We’ll have to see how it goes though.
fentex @39: There was a story line in the EU found in some of the comics and novels where a race called the Yuuzhan Vong left their galaxy and almost conquered the entirety of the main SW galaxy. However, the Jedi were still heavily involved in that story line. The Force and the Jedi are pretty central to most, not all, SW stories.
A better crossguard would come out of the same nozzle as the main blade, with all 3 prongs seamlessly connected.
Of course Tatooine. There’s only one way for this story to go.
TATOOINE, SKYWALKER RANCH
A GRIZZLED LONER is tending to his vaporators. In the distance, a transport shuttle makes a dusty landing. A MILITARY OFFICIAL approaches out of the dust cloud.
ADMIRAL SOLO: You're a hard man to track down, Luke.
SKYWALKER: That's not by accident. I like my privacy. It's quiet out here. Peaceful.
What do you want?
SOLO: There's trouble brewing on the border worlds. The Alliance needs you again.
SKYWALKER: I'm retired. Not interested.
SOLO: I'm afraid your retirement has been revoked. This isn't a request.
SKYWALKER: I'm just an old moisture farmer now, Han. Why do you need me?
SOLO: Luke... it's the Sith. They've returned, and... they've captured the President's daughter.
*LUKE gives SOLO a long, hard stare. He pulls a lightsaber from behind his cloak*
PTSSSFFFWOMMMMM
LUKE: Then why are we still standing around talking? We've got Sith to kill.
♪ DUNdundunDUNdunDUNdundunDUNDUN ♫
Kagato #58
Are you getting paid for this?
I’ll be looking for that vignette in the movie.
Jafafa Hots @ 52:
I too would like to see a good movie made out of The Left Hand of Darkness but I doubt it is possible. Once it is labeled as scifi, there will have to be explosions and starships and monsters … all the things Le Guin’s novels lack. And I’m not sure her novels really are suitable for the limitations of visual mediums … there have been a few attempts, mostly by television, in longer than theatrical movie length, The Lathe of Heaven and The Earthsea Trilogy, but they were not very successful. We may have to accept the fact that the only way to enjoy Le Guin’s world is in our mind’s eye conveyed by the printed word.
chigau @1
I, for one, look forward to seeing the original cast members in their space-walkers, shaking their space-canes and yelling at the kids, “Get off my space-lawn!”
Sort of Star Wars meets UP. That would be worth seeing.
& @23:
I was 14 when it came out and not into SF at all. (I mainly went to see it because I was a huge Alec Guinness fan.) I remember that first scene, and boggling at the sheer SIZE of the Imperial ship.
Which was silly in a way, because Lucas was doing an update of the Saturday Matinee adventure flicks of his youth, not trying to make some deep profound statement. It was hardly a secret, it was there in all the mags about the film.
My reaction to Alien was to be terrified that the cat would be killed. The humans, meh. I only remember Ripley and the unfortunate wossname John Hurt played.
Athywren @55
I am totally stealing this as a swear, along with Capt. Hook’s “Split my infinitives” and “By carbonate of soda!”
My reaction to Alien was to be terrified that the cat would would survive.
And of course, the perfidious feline used the Xenomorph to get rid of most of the humans before hitching a ride back to earth: the villain triumphs at end.
This movie has at least one thing going for it: Abrams hasn’t been elevated to flawless demigod status in anybody’s eyes. When George Lucas was in control during the prequels, whatever he said went, and the rest of the crew was too scared-shitless of him to point out any flaws in his ideas. Abrams doesn’t have that problem, so if he comes up with anything truly horrible, it can be shot down, and maybe other people can weigh in with good ideas that he’ll listen to. I’m not holding my breath, though.
That laser sword looks cool, though I sure hope they finally put Chief Picard on this one.
In my headcanon there were hallucinogenic mushrooms that grew on the moisture vaporators.
And then they’re responsible for Luke claiming he shot womp rats. It’s part of the very long psychedelic climax for Luke’s prequel.
And no, nothing else interesting happens in the movie. Except his freinds leave, his uncle hates him, and they repeatedly forget to buy a droid that speaks bocce.
:P
Literally no story arc is possible for Luke before he meets Old Ben.
You could make a far more interesting back story for Leia. But not Luke.
Haven’t read comments. Must respond to this @ #2:
Look, the Ewoks sucked, but try to be objective here. That is to say, I want whatever you’re smoking.
The best hope I have for this is Lawrence Kasdan. They did one thing right: Hire the guy who wrote, Empire Strikes Back, probably the best Star Wars movie.
No one should be surprised that the story comes back to Tatooine. I’m just surprised it didn’t come back sooner!
Star Wars can’t rise above being anything but the mythology of the white — er, “human” — settlers of Tatooine! It must be their religion. Why else would the Empire be framed in such over-the-top “Axis of Evil”, black and white terms? And why else would all other inhabitants of the planet be framed in such openly racist terms than that the Empire stopped writing the settlers a blank cheque of support and the settlers lacked the skills and willingness to work with people outside their little group? The fantastical story began with an absurd revelation from above, after all.
Or he knows that he has a license to print money. Or he knows that no matter what he does, some segment of the fanbase will complain.
Rob Grigjanis@ 28:
Me too!
I had those same reactions. Happy Birthday, Rob!
I suspect that J.J. didn’t want to get upstaged by the release of the Jurassic World teaser, so I made a call down to the editing and told them to whip-up something from whatever completed footage “looked cool.”
This “meh” is the result.
@62
Hey, it’s not Jonesy’s fault the disarming feline power of Cute is an intergalactic phenomenon.
So… have you watched this newfangled Star Wars Rebels? That just ended its first (9 episode) season and continues in January.
I think it’s almost OK, but needs less teen boy bullshit and more Ahsoka (any Ahsoka is more than zero).
Eh, it’s an impossible uber-sword wielded by a space-sorcerer in a universe where magic is real. Given all that, bad design isn’t even going tickle my suspension of disbelief; or, looking cool is enough.
:) I laughed out when I saw that, thinking whoever it was was just about to burn their thigh off. But yeah, it’s magic. And who knows if these clips will end up in the film anyway?
People are putting a lot of faith in Lawrence Kasdan. Yeah, he wrote Empire Strikes Back and Raiders of the Lost Ark . . . . 34 years ago. None of the movies he’s written for in the past 20 years have been particularly good, and the only real big-budget one was Dreamcatcher (which I liked, but which is usually considered quite bad).
@Rey Rox
License to print money, especially since Abrams probably won’t make a bad Star Wars film – at most, it will just be flashy and forgettable. That’s enough for it to make $150-200 million on its opening weekend in the US alone, never mind worldwide.
Hate that lightsaber. Although I might change my mind if the cloaked figure is Brienne of Darth. Not sure about the soccer ball robot, but its no Jar Jar. An RC toy version of that will likely make a bazillion dollars.( $10 says it gets kicked into something at some point. Into a container, through a doorway, something. Possibly by a Wookiee.) I dig the chunky speeder. Looks like she made it out of an old podracer engine or something. Cool new stormtrooper helmets. New X-wings and the Falcon look pretty good. In general its looking a lot like much of the concept art that made it’s way onto the interwebs. Hope the repurposed AT-AT I saw gets used.
I can’t tell if that’s Max Von Sydow’s voice. Not Mark Hamill. Maybe Andy Serkis? Although it seems a lot of people are convinced it’s Bumblebee Cumberdinck.
Still trying to decide which rumor I like more… a) that Luke’s become an Obi-Wan type recluse and rescues and mentors our young hero and/or heroine, initially mirroring ep. IV, b) that the two youngsters go off in search of the legendary Jedi Knight to find out that he’s turned to the dark side, or c) that the young lady is Han and Leia’s kid and gets captured/converted by the baddie and H&L track down and persuade hermit Luke to try to find her. Haven’t seen anything about Luke starting a new Jedi Academy like he did in the EU books, although the shooting they did in the Puzzlewood is speculated to be Yavin 4.
I have to say, I’m optimistic. I know it won’t be like the original was to 7yr. old me, but I’m confident these’ll be better than the prequels by miles.
Well, it’ll be an interesting year. (A year… $#!@) Wonder how many trailers we’ll get, and how many red herrings there’ll be leaked. (Hamill’s beard is supposedly one) It would be nice to get a few webisode type things or something to help fill in the 30 year gap between VI and VII. Is there maybe a comic out/coming that tells some of that?
The ultimate trilogy.
Though I have to say, it would be intriguing (as per Jafafa Hots) to see The Left Hand of Darkness done. Possibly indy style (to avoid too many explosions), but I’d love to see the casting and the execution of that storyline.
Kagato @58
That was excellent. Now it needs some backgroudn as to why Han stayed in the military, since he was so reluctant about it; who is the president, if it isn’t a de-throned Princess Leia? and many other questions. Perfect.
Happy birthday, Rob Grigjanis!
I just… can’t get past that crossguard lightsaber. First it was just a cool ‘future’ sword suitable for the sci-fi knights, then dual lightsabers, then double bladed lightsabers, then that goddamn quad-weilding General guy, now we have a crossguard made of burning.
And the names! ‘That General guy’ was called Greivous. Because card carrying villains, in the Star Wars universe, use their names as their calling card. Ugh. Can they get a screenwriter older than 14 please?
Aw, it looks like dumb fun with spaceships and bleepy droids and lightsaber fights and awful, awful dialogue! I don’t really expect a good or even interesting plot from Star Wars, I just want to look at pretty Space Stuff, and going back towards the style of the old trilogy seems a good way to achieve that.
Also, add me to the pro-lightsabre crossguard faction.
So I remain cautiously excited!
The CGI looks like shit, albeit a little less shit than what Lucas’ team put together. This movie just seems so unnecessary though :/
chigau Iyeska and rq: Thank you! I’ll be switching to hexadecimal from now on. 3C doesn’t feel quite as, um, advanced.
Whine, grouse, moan, complain…blah blah, blah blah blah (the “blah’s” are to be sung to the tune of that Lady Gaga song whose title I now forget)….
I don’t really care. I’ll see once it’s out.
Though with Max Von Sydow in it, I’m expecting his character Leland Gaunt from Needful Things to make an appearance. Though since Star Wars takes place long ago, this would actually be a prequel to that movie.
I’m stone sober, why do you ask?
Spoiler alert-
The first scene is about a stormtrooper awakened after 37 years a la Rip Van Winkle with a startling revelation:
“Those were the droids we were looking for!!!!!!!!!!!”
Not bad. That certainly explains that one guy popping up in the middle of the desert and looking around, confused. Though his armour looks different from Ep IV.
Wake me up when we got something that actually shows what the movie is about instead of some random scenes with a vague narration trying to sound mysteeeerious.
Rebels has a better Cool!Lightsaber design. http://youtu.be/D6GxTMpyjls
1 Cor. 13:11
I really think this upcoming film should focus on the socioeconomic repercussions of destroying 2 Death Stars. Think about all of the unemployed staff who survived. What became of the Imperial social security benefits? Who has been looking after the Death Star housekeeping staff all these years after being callously laid off? And hell, I’m appalled at all the “dear Muslima” comments so prevalent in the New Republic ie. “stop complaining about your low wages you whining Gungan. Life was far worse under the Empire.” Those same libertarian jerks are so damn vocal at secular conferences held at Bespin that to this day exclude Sandpeople. You notice it’s only humans that show up to these meetings. Thankfully there are courageous spacefaring atheists like PZ who spearhead meetings wherein many different alien voices can chime in on talks like “Jediism, creationism and other myths need to be in a galaxy far,far away from science”
Oh PZ, you and your unreasonable optimism about movies…
That SoccerBall Droid must be the child of R2-D2 and Eve(from Wall-E) It clearly has bits and pieces of both of them.
Tattoine? JJ says it’s NOT tattoine, but for StarTrek:Into Dementia he kept telling us Cumberbatch would NOT be the character KHAAAAAANNNNNNN. So take the denial of Tattoine with a boatload of salt.
Felix @5 wrote:
Is ‘Fu780L’ the SoccerBall Droid’s official designation, or just alpha-numeric transliteration of “fusball” (what Americans call Soccer)? or both, as a little “Easter Egg” to all the fans?
.
I keep reading all the outrage of the crossguards on that lightsaber. I suspect it will play some little tiny subtle effect. Not by removing someone’s arm, nor hand, nor any causal effects. It’s there to just be symbolic (of some other T shape). Like all the symbolism in Man of Steel, JJ’s just tryin to keep up.
This is JJ’s DreamJob, Star Trek movies were just practicing for Star Wars.
SallyStrange @ 43;
I would love to see a good adaptation of some of the Culture novels, but I just don’t see it happening. The late, great Ian M. Banks was both a fairly intellectual, thinking person’s writer and pretty openly advocated for progressive values in his fiction – sadly, Hollywood execs would run a mile from that rather than risk riling up the right wing talking heads. Can you imagine how the likes of Faux News would react to a fictional universe were it is common and accepted for people to be genetically modified to be able to secrete non-addictive, non-toxic narcotics into their blood stream from specialised glands at a whim?
At the same time, such a movie would probably fail to interest a particularly broad audience, since all too many people wouldn’t have the attention span required to grasp what the story was about. That would mean a poor box office return on what would have to be a hefty investment, and the money persons at the studios would never back what they would see as an expensive white elephant.
And even if the nabobs of Hollywood unexpectedly grew a collective backbone (now that idea really does require some suspension of disbelief) and were prepared to go ahead with such a high risk project, I can’t imagine them even beginning to do it justice. A watered down, bastardised ode to an imagine future America in space (manifest destiny!) would probably be the sad result, and I don’t think either one of us would want to sit through that.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————-
chigau @ 45;
I have seen that movie, and no matter how ardently I might wish it, I can never now un-see it.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————–
Al Dente @ 49;
I have heard that an adaptation of Neuromancer is already in the works, with an eye to it becoming the opening of a movie franchise, so there is that, though whether it will actually be any good (or will be another Keanu Reeves-worthy abomination) is still anyone’s guess.
If they foul up what is arguably the finest example of the cyberpunk genre, I will be mightily displeased.
I saw the first Star Wars when it first came out. I was about 19, and it was great. Yeah, the plot is the same old one about a farm boy going out into the wide world to rescue a princess, but I was a farm boy, and dang it looked great. The cultural influence was enormous, and even the Ewoks couldn’t damage the next two.
As for Alien, I never saw it. I was of the classic science-fiction bent, and I knew that the best way to deal with an infested ship is to suit up and open the airlocks. You don’t need an hour of stupid before doing the obvious.
Rob Grigjanis
3C sounds downright futuristic. :) Hope you’re having a good one!
+++
And speaking of that lightsaber, had a good giggle about this. It’s not a lightsaber, it’s a Sith Army Knife.
As for Alien, I never saw it. I was of the classic science-fiction bent, and I knew that the best way to deal with an infested ship is to suit up and open the airlocks. You don’t need an hour of stupid before doing the obvious.
Yeah, but when they finally did that in Aliens* (sans suiting up) the creature screamed for 20 seconds at least as it left the ship (even though “You can’t scream in space”) so maybe they could stand a hard vacuum.
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* Yeah, the ending took a ton of willing suspension of disbelief but it was a great movie (not great art) just the same because the pacing was just like a roller coaster ride.
Menyambal @93:
It was a huge cargo vessel/refinery. The idea was to somehow shepherd the beast to an airlock, but that backfired. The final ejection was done from an escape pod.
At the time some people I know concluded that the Nostromo had an “IQ Limiter”.
The combined IQ of everyone on board was 100.
As crew-members died, the remainder got smarter, until there was just Ripley.
I don’t know if the cat was included.
Rob Grigjanis @ 82:
Oooh, nice idear. I just had a birthday, and 39 hex works for me.
I have to say though, the scene with the cloaked figure was very expressive in setting, performance, and camera work. I really liked that it really had a fantasy movie vibe to it. You could just as easily have the figure pulling out a metal blade of some sort, and it would fit just as well.
K.R. @81:
While I’m sure I’ll go see the movie, I feel much the same as you. The Star Wars Universe has a wealth of characters to explore, and yet we’re getting *more* Luke, Leia, Han, etc. Why not set a story 1,000 years in the past? Tell some untold history of the Sith. Or if they insist on using established characters, how about the story of how Vader hunted down nearly all the remaining Jedi?
Incidentally, this is a good time to mention that if you’re a comic book and a Star Wars fan, Marvel Comics is releasing 3 new series set in the Star Wars Universe
Yes: As soon as you saw any of the drek advertised you knew not to bother looking at the movie listings, and hence saved money, brain cells, time, and yer forehead and digestive system.
My 44-year-old self thinks you’re right. But my 7-year-old self believes in wonders again after those X-wings raising rooster tails over the water.
Quite a few things, actually, if my enjoyment of the originals is anything to go by.
It’s taken me a while now to believe this wasn’t an elaborate fan trailer for something that doesn’t exist. The CG would be very admirable for youtube fankids, but fairly bullshit for hollyweird. The retread environments and props of the first movie with the random rolly-bot in the flavor of the prequels … It just ends up looking less creative than the shitty prequels and about as worthy as the add-shitty-CG recuts of the originals.
Still, after all this time without evidence to the contrary, finding it hard to believe this is actually real.
@11, thelastholdout
Look again at the one minute mark. 1:03 to 1:04 to be precise.
I laughed a lot. Maybe the whole movie will be fun – if only in a so-bad-it’s-good way. :-D Kagato (comment 58) wins the thread.
I wonder what the German translation of the title will be. The literal translation, Die Macht erwacht, would sound way too silly, but then, movie titles are usually replaced instead of translated…
“Hokey”… “hokey”… I think its wielder will get shot. First.
*Homeric drool*
Heh.
Definitely by a Wookiee. :-)
Full of win.
Evidently the Law of the Conservation of Ninjutsu applies.
Those wet dripping pipes on Alien always struck me as unrealistic.
Water is just about the most precious commodity in deep space. Every micro drop of it would be recycled. Every drop dripping in the background for ominous atmospheric effect is a drop that should have been used to generate breathable oxygen for the crew and hydrogen for the motors or fusion reactor.
Every splash and gust of steam represents an engineering fail of the highest order. A ship with such defects would never have been allowed out of earth orbit.
I suppose it could have been foreshadowing of the corporation that built the ship being incompetent and evil….
Lack of cross guards has often been pointed out as a major flaw in light sabre design. Even with the use-the-force-to-compensate yadda yadda it doesn’t get around the issue of opportunity cost. In a duel between force wielders the one who doesn’t have to divert concentration, focus and force ability to compensate for the lack of a simple protective design element in the weapon will have an advantage because he or she will be able to use that available force ability and focus for something else more useful to the winning of the fight.
Based on the trailer, I’m betting it will be the best Star Wars yet.
Also, the fact that Star Wars was revolutionary in its time for special effects and a couple of centuries have passed since then.
Also, it will be louder. That will be important for the aged audience, so they can hear it.
There already is a Lego remake.
#108
A normal crossguard is made of blunt metal, and can therefore be handled safely. This one is made of …solid laser I guess, and can therefore chop bits off if mishandled. That, I think, would erode much – possibly all – of the ‘concentration savings’ afforded by the crossguard, especially since there is a vulnerable gap between the crossguard and the blade.
I have no optimism left for these movies. However, the crossguard lightsaber in particular does not cause me to despair. There’s precedent for the crossguard lightsaber in two comics published by Dark Horse. This gives me enough reason to suspend judgment on this particular point. I will ultimately reserve judgment until I see the movies. I’ve seen this trailer but will make an effort to watch no more promotional material and will read no reviews before seeing it.
@Amphiox #107
If they’ve got reliable long-range FTL transportation, then they can get away with ships functioning at less than a super-high-level of maintenance – if something goes wrong, they send out Space Repair and Rescue to retrieve the crew and fix the ship (or tow it back into space dock).
Holms @108 Disney has stated that while the EU isn’t technically canon writers are free to pull bits from it and incorporate it into the new material as they please. If it IS a crossguard then it’s likely they’ll incorporate some EU material to account for the design. In the EU some rare metals are lightsaber resistant. Phrik, beskar, and cortosis are some such materials. Phrik was used by many Sith Lords to construct lightsabers and battle armor due to its resistance to lightsaber blows. It was also used to construct other weaponry used to fight against lightsabers. Cortosis actually causes problems with lightsaber cores when the blade comes into contact with the metal causing the core to shutdown, effectively shutting the saber off. Of course if they do decide to use one of these materials they’d need to have something in the film to explain it to those not well versed in the EU.
Honestly I’m not even sure if it is a crossguard yet. If you look at the blade of the saber it’s not nice and defined like most lightsabers we’ve seen. It pulses and at times has what almost look like electrical arcs across its length. Perhaps it has an unstable core and they have something to do with that.
Surely the best idea then is to make the crossguard out of one of those presumably safe materials, rather than something that can take your fingers off?
This crossguard should not annoy me this much but it just does!
Thankfully, the lightsaber actually casts light on other objects in the scene ^^
Makes the effect more realistic.
I’m having way too much fun with the use of “EU”. ^_^
Those aren’t electric arcs. It’s snowing!
David @117: I think “Big Rip” is more apt.
Better Sith Army Knife, gifed. I CAN’T STOP GIGGLING.
@chigau at #45
And that’s what I get for forgetting to close off quotes.
Anyway, I was saying they did make a version of New Rose Hotel with Walken, Dafoe, and Argento. I didn’t think it was all that bad.
Ysidro
I was not aware of that movie.
I’ll take a look.
Thanks.
David @117: First we look at Obi-Wan’s lightsaber. Now we look at Obi-Wan’s lightsaber in the rain. Yup, they’re pretty much the same.
Now we look at the New Sith’s lightsaber. Yup, it pretty much pulsates, has electrical arcs, and has a general “I’m not really the best lightsaber out there” feel to it. If the rain didn’t cause Obi-Wan’s lightsaber to do that It’s pretty safe to say that the snow’s not going to cause the Sith’s lightsaber to do that. However, feel free to tell me “It’s snowing” again, as if it was something I hadn’t already known.
@124 Alan Grant
Ya, it doesn’t look like the snow is causing the blades to be like that.
Though using Obiwan’s lightsaber in the rain as an example doesn’t seem like a good idea. By any logic, his blade should be doing something in that rain. Fizzling or something. Illuminating it too…rain tends to shine when it’s near (or in front of) bright light sources. So do most other things, to an extent.
@brianpansky
“Tatooine? Again?”
Heh, good point. Considering how much of an irrelevant backwater that planet supposedly is, these movies and their associated games, novels, comics etc. sure keep going back to it a whole freaking lot.
Funny, but when I loaded the Pharyngula page, I saw the following under the heading, “Teased,” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et9Nf-rsALk , and thought, “Why would PZ think Ursula LeGuin’s acceptance speech for some award was going to suck?” Then I switched to the next page and suddenly things became clear. :)
Actually, watch Ursula. She’s better.
@125 branpansky
In the film the rain close to the blade does seem to reflect some of the light. The photo doesn’t do a very good job of portraying it. My point, however, was more about the general nature of the saber’s beam. I definitely would expect rain, snow, etc. to turn to steam upon hitting the beam, but if the rain didn’t cause the beam to waver the way the one from the trailer appears to be I just don’t think the snow would cause it either. I’m unsure what the cause of it is, and it’s one of the things that I found interesting about the teaser. I suppose I’ll just have to wait till next December to find out though.