It’s simple improvement: every vice president should have an octopus on their head. And I don’t just mean in the paintings, I mean at every public appearance.
We should also judge their fitness for office by how healthy they keep their head octopus.
alastor says
I’m pretty sure all the others were just vehicles for Cheney’s portrait. Definitely made me laugh.
Lynna, OM says
Good plan. Let’s vote for candidates that support this plan.
blf says
Well, the octopus is smarter than the entire chamber of politicians, and has plenty of arms with which to keep its bearer gagged and under-control (with a sharp beak if it gets a bit feisty), so where’s the downside?
Bob Merlin says
The arrangement certainly doesn’t enhance the dignity of the octopus!
I’d like the arrangement better if I could choose the what veep got what octopus. Let’s give Cheney a cute little blue ring octopus and retroactivate it to 1984.
jrfdeux, mode d'emploi says
I work as a director, so I’m not an executive. I only rate a sea cucumber.
Pieter Droogendijk says
Oh PZ, not toilet duck again!
Jeff S says
Why not? Most of our Vice Presidents already look like Wolf Eels
tomfrog says
Made me think of a bonnet phrygien!! ;)
Pieter Droogendijk says
You know what that stuff does to you.
Saad says
I thought Aaron Burr was the best, but then I saw Cheney.
dianne says
I have to say, Quayle’s octopus looks disgruntled. Like it was hoping to get Jefferson or Adams or at least Stevenson and got stuck with Quayle instead. Biden looks totally in to having an octopus on his head.
Isaac LeGuin says
I don’t know. I’d worry about the health of the octopus if it has to sit out of the water all the time. We need to move Washington, DC underwater for this to work. Hmm . . . of course, that might have a negative effect on the health of the humans. But I have a solution for that, too: Do away with the human element altogether and just appoint an octopus as the vice president! It’ll be an all-around improvement.
Nick Gotts says
Surely the octopus would fall, or crawl, off? Need to secure it to the head – with a vice!
Artor says
Isaac @12
The solution is that anyone visiting the Veep gets to give them a swirlie in the executive bathroom. It’s the humane thing to do!
Trebuchet says
@13, Nick Gotts: Sorry, have nit, must pick. Vise. Damned homophones.
chigau (違う) says
Trebuchet
It’s entirely possible that Nick Gotts really meant ‘vice’.
dhall says
#12 – maybe with climate change and rising sea levels, DC will just end up underwater. No need to move it.
Lofty says
Trebuchet, vice is an acceptable spelling in most civilised countries ;-)
Jafafa Hots says
Vises (veese?) don’t work out too well with mollusks. I know from experience.
blf says
Lack of water isn’t really a problem. Politicians are slimy.
ambrosethompson says
It makes perfect sense. If you can’t keep a head octopus healthy (when you can control just about all the variables) then how are you going to manage a messy thing such as a country where variable are always changing value.
Trebuchet says
@18, Lofty: Damned English Language!
Nice kitty, by the way.
shouldbeworking says
I think all the congressional leaders should wear one as well. They way they’ve been behaving, anything would raise the dignity of their office too.
badgersdaughter says
Hey, I thought we weren’t commenting on people’s appearance around… Oh, hey, nice octopus. :D
blf says
Raise? Once you are inside the Stoooooopidity Radius, it doesn’t matter whether you stop digging or wear an entire fleet of octopodes, you can’t escape the Blockhead Hole.