This is the lounge. You can discuss anything you want, but you will do it kindly.
Status: Heavily Moderated; Previous thread
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
This is the lounge. You can discuss anything you want, but you will do it kindly.
Status: Heavily Moderated; Previous thread
Hey, my joke was so bad it closed the thread!
#winner
:)
Timing is everything.
Nice kitty.
Welcome, new folks!
I’m a little rupt but I wanted to check back in. Couldn’t get in touch with brother. We will see.
By serendipity, I had dinner with a stepbrother I haven’t seen in….ten years? So, he might move up in the brother rankings soon /-: in seriousness, it was really pleasant to see him. He’s a nice young person (a couple years younger than me. Before our respective parents divorced we were neighbor kids to each other).
Best wishes to chigau and awakeinmo. Dental stuff is just not fun.
Tony- whenever I burn my popcorn I think of you. No joke. :)
Bacon is best when it crumbles on your tongue.
I am the queeeeennnnn… queen of the portcuuuuulliiiiissss….
Hey, Portia!
Hope everyone’s dental work goes ok.
Just wanted to apologize for my comments on the situation in Ferguson, Missouri. Sometimes, I do not explain my opinions clearly as l would like. I do wish that there will be a resolution and that everybody can learn from the mistakes made.
I’ve had the last few days off from work, and I’ve spent them alternately following the happenings in Ferguson and trying to distract myself from the despair and helplessness and rage and disillusion that it’s all brought. For once I’m kinda happy to be going to spend the whole day not having to think about much other than making food.
Hi carlie!
Hope you’ve gotten to put your feet up on the theoretical chaise lounge.
Hugs
*shaking head sadly*
Oh, Brony….
Given your ‘nym, your enthusiasm for small, colorful Horses comes as no surprise (but beware Their “friendliness”, for They are tricksy and false), but peas as well? And turnips?!? As well to just eat dirt-clods and be done with it!
Fortunately, your sensible stances on cheese and cats save you.
From the Horse-pond.
Full of peas.
And *napalm!*
And Genuine Imitation Cheese Food Substitute.
–
Tony!
An Abomination Unto Nuggan, wherein fragments alleged to be beef are stirred into white gravy—I suppose it’d be possible to use beef gravy, but I’ve never Seen It Done—and the resulting glop is then poured over toast.
Food of the (malignant) gods.
With the squash, perhaps? And I’m assuming that this step comes before the *napalm!*?
(Later)
Not possible!
–
Dalillama:
*hugs*
The sun’ll come up tomorrow…on another blast-furnacely hot day.
*sigh*
Sorry about the low pay/low hours treadmill. Want to help. Can’t. Depressing.
–
awakeinmo:
First off, *hugs*.
Second, to me, “the blacks” sounds too much like a direct substitution for “the ni***rs”. And “black people” acknowledges black personhood, where “the blacks” does not. “Black—-” elephants? “Black—-” lacquered boxes? Could be any noun of choice, really.
–
115
Did I miss Dalillama?!
I’ll leave some hugs over here in the corner in case he is around.
cicely, portia
*hugs*
@coreyschlueter
Did you simply react to the tone of the discussion rather than the content? You didn’t really stick around to clarify your statements, either. Nor have you said much of anything on the topic since.
Me, I’d rather see a clarification (an elaboration, too) rather than an apology. You gave so few words, and the ones you did give painted the picture of a person that doesn’t understand what the events in Ferguson mean and what Darren Wilson represents. It’s much bigger than that little city in Missouri.
A tiny, apparently 9-year old in maturity part of my brain unfortunately seems to think that if I don’t go to sleep, that will keep tomorrow from coming and therefore my friend won’t move away. Stupid brain. It’s going to be a long night.
coreyschlueter and gog
Do you have any recipes for chocolate chip cookies?
carlie
Aw damn.
Hugs
Also, does anyone know if one can get poison ivy without the blister part of the rash, and if it’s possible to get it in a place where there was no initial contact and it’s not anywhere else on the body? Asking for an, um, “friend”.
@chigau #13
I have one if you also like oatmeal.
Thanks, Portia. I feel like all I’ve done lately is whine. Things should get better soon.
@Carlie #15
Maybe if
you wereyour friend was doing yard work and touched contaminated portion of clothing only to the affected area of skin.carlie
Idk about the rash part. But I believe that the oils from the plant can be spread through secondary contact, if that’s what you mean. That is, your friend (WINK) touches the plant with their hand, then they touch another body part that didn’t touch the ivy.
That’s my layperson two cents :)
(My phone tried to correct layperson to law person…it’s learning)
carlie
That’s what we’re here for.
I’ve been whining a lot too.
You deserve to whine.
Moar hugs
Portia, carlie, extra hugs.
Wow, our Lounge icon this time ’round is a feline. PZ must love his kitty :)
****
Portia:
Hey, this is awesome!
And you brought a smile to face with your comment about the popcorn. It’s nice to be thought of.
****
carlie:
Would you like some grapes your highness?
****
gog @11:
Given what I recall of corey schlueter’s words, I’d rather he respond in the Thunderdome, bc I’d respond, but I don’t know that I’d be that kind.
****
chigau:
I believe Mellow Monkey teased us with talk of these delicious NOM NOM CCCs that she prepared recently, so perhaps she has a recipe to share.
KITTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <3
… sorry, was I supposed to say something else?
@ cicely
Yes, I am sadly aware that the mythology of the pone is false. Louis CK has a great bit on it but it has a rape joke in it so if anyone is interested if you google “Ponies are Assholes” you get the bit with everything replaced with clips and MLP fan art (ponify is a verb in Brony dialect).
I grew up on Kraft slices! Also “chicken and ham” rolled “meat” stuff. It’s not… it’s not that bad… (Oh who am I kidding I haven’t touched the stuff since I got my own income. I think my supermarket still stocks it though…. Can I borrow your *napalm!*?)
Tony!
This is what I made today:
Ingredients
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup baking cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine, softened
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) white chocolate chips
Directions
PREHEAT oven to 350° F.
COMBINE flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in chips. Drop by well-rounded teaspoon onto ungreased baking sheets.
BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until centers are set. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.
Makes 60 cookies. And if you’re like me, you will eat every last one if you’re not careful. Milk for dunking and chocolate relief is advised.
MM:
60 cookies??
Wow.
Did you know your recipe would make that many?
For the sake of your tummy, I’m hoping you didn’t eat all 60 in one sitting.
Also, IMO, milk is essential for most desserts (the ones I eat anyway-cake, cookies, brownies, pastries). Nothing else works.
****
jste:
I’ve no clue what you’re referring to here.
Do I *want* to know?
Hello folks. Boy, everything sucks, huh?
Tony!
I didn’t believe the recipe, foolishly. I always run into cookie recipes that overestimate how many cookies you’ll end up with (maybe I just make huge cookies normally or nibble too much dough), but this one made a ton.
Nah. I think I ate a dozen and put the rest in tupperware. I’ll be pushing them on people tomorrow to save my belly, I suspect.
Agreed.
Hi everyone. Here is that second issue that I wanted to ask about with a minimal background for context. In general I’m trying to get back into science, but the situation is complicated and I could use some perspectives.
I was happy in academic science doing bench work and collecting data. I had a record up to graduate school that I was proud of and I had some publications as an undergraduate and worked with some really big names in several fields. The school I was accepted to was a really good one and things seemed like they would be great. But when I was in graduate school working on a PhD in Cellular and Molecular Biology I ran into a wall. My work was good, but it seemed to take longer to collect data than average. Also it took a lot for me to get passed my “part one” exam where I defend a proposed project outside of my host laboratory’s area of interest. The process was difficult and I heard “why is this so hard for you to understand?” so often that it prompted me to talk to a neurologist. I had no idea why I had problems and that really made coming up with a real proposal impossible after the experience of the first one.
I got the diagnosis of Tourette’s Syndrome and ADHD. I had no idea how to internalize that. All I had in my head was the stereotype of TS and the fact that even though I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, I went from failing to As and honor roll over a period of time of about a year between junior high and high school. I earned two undergraduate degrees and ran a high-throughput forward genetics screen with more than 20,000 plants during a two year break as a technician. I can think scientifically and I can still do all the techniques I formerly used in my head. How the heck could I still have ADHD? But all the problems I had been running into could not be denied. The person whose lab I was working in said he was frustrated with me and didn’t know what to do before the diagnoses. Afterwards, I just felt pushed out passive aggressively. But to be fair I did not know what I needed any more than my PI (primary investigator) and there were no systems in place to take a person who just got a diagnosis like that and help them to figure out what to do. I ended up accepting a Masters Degree, drifting out and since this was 2009 the economy ensured that only the people with the precise specific skills someone wanted would get hired in a science field.
I tried switching to public high school science teacher and took advantage of a program meant to take people with preexisting degrees and provide extra education for licensing and worked as a substitute teacher for more than three years while I did this. You need to have the skills of a police negotiator for most of the schools that I worked in. My mental health became a problem and have been unemployed since the beginning of last summer. I did not waste the time and I tried to teach myself what I needed out of a pharmacy technician book to get into that field, but my wife and psychologist were persuasive and I had to admit that I have loads of unresolved issues about my time in science. I’ve been applying for technician positions and similar to universities, industry, and government jobs in the area for the last five months. I have also had several sessions with a career counselor.’
So here are the questions. I already have some plans in place for them, but I’m trying to have all my bases covered hence the advice.
*I’m not sure if I can get any help for this first one here but just in case here it is. I can’t help feeling like I’m literally not bred for this work anymore but I spent my life learning it and can’t do anything else. I found one scientist with ADHD finally (I was getting worried that they did not exist) and have emailed them for advice, but that was just today. I’m hoping to find more and some scientists with TS because I need functional ideas about what I need to do to account for how I am different in the lab. When I said that many conditions and diseases are likely really human archetypes I really meant it and think the research suggests this as a reasonable hypothesis. I honestly believe that my mind has been shaped a particular way by a military/religious heritage and culture when it comes to both ADHD and TS. Here is the scientist I found and emailed today, I’m hoping that someone has heard or knows about others. Otherwise it’s more googling, I’ll find someone eventually.
http://blogs.plos.org/speakingofmedicine/2014/06/10/im-scientist-learning-disabilities-thats-okay/
*I’m not sure how to handle the interview questions. There are several areas that I am concerned about. The ones that may touch on my attempted switch to public education and the year+ of unemployment. I’m also not sure about the questions that try to get you to talk about your biggest flaws and short comings in particular. I know those on a level that few ever get to explore them. I also think I have advantages to talk about but the same problem remains. I don’t think I can talk about mental issues at all in a strategic sense, but mental issues were at the core of everything that went wrong for me and lack of understanding of mental diversity was a huge component of why I things went wrong external to me. I have some ideas about how to handle this but I wanted to see what you folks might suggest. I had one interview offer so far, but they ended up cancelling the appointment because they already found enough candidates. Does anyone have any suggestions about interview questions and these issues?
*The jobs I am applying to I am largely overqualified for, but that does not bother me as much because it makes sense to start smaller because of the gap, but I’m still worried about if that might make it harder to get a position. It seems that there are not as many Cell/Molecular Biology type jobs at the masters level, but that might just be Austin. Does anyone think that this might be a problem for me?
*I am going to consider trying to get a PhD and going on again. But honestly my emotions on that front are still pretty unsettled and I want to just be in a lab as a technician for a bit. I have considered something brain science related but other than reading about it on my own and two semesters as a teaching assistant, my resume and work experience does not say brain science. I’m not sure getting to know yourself through the literature qualifies much and it’s hard to justify on paper. I guess I don’t have any questions on this one but it’s just something I have been thinking about.
Thanks.
I realize that is a lot. Sorry about that but it’s a rather complicated issue.
KITTEH!
Hi, all. I came over for some comfort, and now all I want is cookies. Glad to see familiar names doing well.
My comfort food is curried chicken. Mom used to make it back in a time and place where nobody I knew had even heard of it … I dunno where she got the curry. I have worked up my own recipe and cooking technique, and bought a pound jar of curry powder, so I am set … if a bit messy. I cook up a big batch for the fridge and freezer, and nobody else in the house likes it, so yay.
Otherwise, the cats and dogs are getting along better, and I have worked out a way to let the dogs sleep on the bed with me — I find that comforting, too. Hmm, how about sleeping with dogs who have just eaten curried chicken? Nah, I am not sharing.
Menyambal:
ooooh, curried chicken sounds positively delightful!
Hi Brony – two ideas for you.
My sister has a similar degree but works in a pathology lab. She has been doing it for four years and quite likes it – it’s lab work, but it varies quite a bit. The pay is good, she makes close to 90K.
An unconventional idea that may appeal to you is in the field of zymurgy – yes, brewing. The more I get into this, the more my kitchen looks like a laboratory. The better understanding one has of the processes in play, the more likely it will be that one can be competitive in some aspect of that field. I HAVE to know what I’m about, if I expect to be able to take my products to be judged in competitions. Having a scientific understanding of the processes enhances the appreciation of the art, the judgment of quality, and the consistency of the product. You don’t necessarily have to start brewing yourself – but a consultancy, or residency at one brewery or another could be an option worth exploring. I should also add that it helps keep my own yammering demons at bay.
Best of luck to you!
Brony
I’m going to read your long post in a moment, when I don’t have three hungry kids on my back. :) You deserve more of my attention.
+++
… But I have to get this out, to allayou new folk! And I know who you are, though I’m too lazy to list all those ‘nyms right now. To truly become a part of the Lounge, please submit your opinion on the following:
1) horses
2) peas
3) cheese
And, for bonus points, –
4) Miracle Whip (not, as Tony pointed out earlier, mayo, different things!).
There’s at least three of you from whom I require answers. That’s a lot, by the way. *whew* So much paperwork, so much drinks and cookies to hand out!
rq:
In the words of the great cicely, they are *both* an Abomination Unto Nuggan.
Hey, all you have to do is administer the questionnaire. I’m the one doing all the hard work with drinks. Mixing alcoholic drinks to the exact specification of the peeps in here. Mellow Monkey is the one working hard to produce delicious cookies. I think the two of us are having to do so much work (imagine head thrown back, right hand to head, feeling faint…to me my fainting couch!) More than you :P
Horses: beautiful! I like them but haven’t been around them enough to get over the nervousness of them being so big.
Peas: no thanks. Especially not mixed with corn and especially especially not mint peas. I do not like sweet flavours with meat.
Cheese: YUM. Well, not the blue-vein or otherwise runny stuff. Tasty cheese, yes. Chicken and cheddar soup at Baumgartner’s-when-I-visited-Illinois, OMG SO GOOD. Toasted ham and cheese sammiches, staple diet.
Miracle Whip: had to look up what on earth that is. Don’t think they sell it here in Oz. But I wouldn’t buy it anyway, I don’t like mayonnaise AT ALL (see previous comment about sweet stuff).
Also my kitty avatar is working, yay! That’s Miss Maddie lying around helping me do my knitting.
2kittehs:
I’m with you there.
I despise finding peas mixed in with fried rice in Chinese restaurants in the US. I will spread out the rice and pick out the peas (and the carrots).
Also with you on the mayo. BLECH!
I’m curious how your kitteh helps you knit…moral support?
Tony
How dare you compare things like that! You cannot know how difficult this paperwork is, or how hard it is to write things down, goddammit!!! And I MAKE COOKIES TOO!!!!
*rapid breathing*
Did I do that right?
rq:
I totally just read your comment aloud, with all the increasing exasperation and rapid breathing. It was fun!
I can totes do this acting thing (not really).
Tony! – Miss Madeleine helps with my knitting by making sure the bag of needles doesn’t float away (you know this gravity stuff can’t be trusted), sorting my yarns – no, I don’t let her chew them, I know how dangerous that is for cats – and stopping me from getting bored with regular breaks for important things like Patting the Cat, Admiring the Cat, Rubbing The Cat’s Belleh, and Saying “Awwww” When The Cat Does Cute. I could never manage without her!
Good, I’m glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t like the sweet-savoury or sweet-with-meat thing. On the rare occasions I eat turkey I make sure there’s no cranberry sauce on it.
Funny thing about mayo, the times I tasted the US stuff – finding sandwiches with butter in ’em was a rarity – it was better, ie. less sweet, than the stuff here.
Food things: is there anyone else around here who has zero tolerance for spicy stuff? I’m talking about not putting basic white pepper on things, never mind any of those deadly chillis or peppers or whatnot.
I know there are lots of creative Pharyngulites: is anyone into knitting?
2kittehs
There’s a lot of knitters and crocheters around. I believe there’s even a pharyngula branch on one of the knitting forums, though the name slips my mind.
Me, I’ve tried to learn knitting about 5 times, with effort, and my brain just doesn’t wrap around the concept. I’ve tried crocheting once, but I may try again this winter.
rq
I just found the group – Pharyngula Phan Klub on Ravelry! There’s a tiny WHTM group there, too. Ravelry’s a great site.
It took me forever to learn to knit, or rather to want to give it another go, post-teens. I’d been a hand-sewer for years and knitting seemed just too slow. I’ve only been doing it a couple of years, but now I really like it. Damn expensive hobby, though!
I had the same problem with crocheting that you describe with knitting. Does Not Compute. At least these days there are so many pages and video tutorials online. Makes it much easier when one can watch the stitches being made … and keep playing it till the idea sinks in, lol.
Brony – this info will not be concrete help for you right now, but might give you a little hope. Most people trained in biological sciences now end up doing something else, so it’s not really the case that your training is only good for one thing. Hugs if you want them.
In other news, even if you control for research output, women lag far behind men in making tenure . Computer science was the worst, with a 55% difference. Sociology had 51%.
Wow, you get distracted by Stuff for just a few hours and look what happens!
Belated *\o/* congratulations!!! *\o/* to Esteleth!!!! (or to 2/3 of Esteleth. No, to all of Esteleth!)
Yay for the Redhead’s progress, and for Nerd hopefully getting a smidgen of rest and recovery time.
Extra hugs to cicely and Tony! and rq and everybody else who has been making me laugh on one thread and cry with anger on another.
Belated welcome to the influx of new people! (I’ve been around a while now, but am usually fairly quiet – just waving from over here in the corner, ‘k?). Just don’t challenge Tony! or Portia to Pictionary, as they are both the one and only undisputed world champion (I’m not quite sure how they manage this while being completely different people, but there you go).
Brony I just want to wish you all the luck and success, and my admiration for the mental and practical effort you are putting into changing your situation. I only wish I had useful information for you!
There are quite a few people here, actually, who have a kind of strength and courage and tenacity and integrity in the face of overwhelming bastard obstacles (often, but not limited to, economic) that just leaves me openmouthed. Thinking of Dalillama, say, and a whole lot more.
2kittehs, with you on pepper, totally.
Love the thread pic, but I’d have liked it better if you’d asked before putting it up. Still, at least they got my good side. :)
On phone for morning med liedown, so more later.
I have to start following this on Twitter. Worth all that tea up the nose.
Wait, was I just not able to post in the Lounge??
Gah. Wanted to post this examination of Renaissance art. Totally worth all that tea up the nose.
Gah. Let’s try that without the nice linky link: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jennaguillaume/dont-get-drunk-and-shag-fish , an examination of Renaissance art. Totally worth all that tea up the nose.
Just looking at carlie‘s link to the US government census stats on graduate fields of work. Does anyone happen to know of something similar for the UK?????
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jennaguillaume/dont-get-drunk-and-shag-fish
*waves, sleepily*
Cookies need hot tea. I’ve got Yorkshire Gold, anyone want a cuppa?
Hi, new people! Kittehs, hiya, I know you from lurking on WHTM. Mads is a cutie!
I crochet, I knit, I sew, I embroider, I bead, I bookbind, I make nichos and shadowboxes… Jill of many crafts, mistress of not so much.
@Tony #22
I feel the same way, but I felt like since he posted in the lounge I would give him an opportunity to explain before taking it to the thunderdome. I don’t anticipate a satisfactory explanation (or any at all), though. I’m sure he’s abandoned thread.
Brony
I don’t have much to offer you, since neither your mental health struggles nor your academic field are familiar to me. But I do want to say, I greatly admire you for dealing with TS and ADHD. Good luck to you, and I hope to hear that your interviews go well.
Terrible insomnia last night, not hitting on all cylinders today. Also, FTB has stopped emailing my subscriptions for some reason.
Brony
Best wishes on the job thing, unfortunately I can’t offer good advice.
For all Loungers, thinking of you!
Well.
The tooth extraction itself took less time than the paperwork.
Yay, chigau, I think?
carlie
Yes, yay.
My last extractions were wisdom teeth 40 years ago.
Things have improved.
Leaving the Nobles, soldiers, and peasants to replace the missing monarch. Long leave the king !!!!(pdf)
2kittehs, welcome!
*shudder*
Bad memories of teeth extraction. Mostly due to a fear of anaesthesia (or however the bloody hell that should be spelled).
Brony
Have some *hugs* for now. I don’t have anything particularly constructive to say, since my career got stuck at a bachelor’s level life sciences degree, and I have no experience with any education above that (though it’s in the plan, somewhere, eventually). But I wish you all the best and so very much luck and the patience and strength to do the hard work you need to make yourself happy and more-or-less satisfied.
This is…amazing. From The Eye of Argon linked in #62:
[Content warning for bad writing and cartoonish violence.]
If she has a kick like that, I cannot fathom how she was ever captured in the first place.
Oh, yes, the infamous Eye of Argon. Hee hee.
I first encountered it back in the handed-around mimeographed days; my Mythie group all tried to read bits aloud one evening. Wackiness ensued. Emily found it online a while back. It’s nice to see the tradition continue.
I feel rather elderly now. Perhaps it’s time for my nap…
…isn’t that a potato?
Azkyroth
You’re thinking of Yukon Gold. As far as I know, nobody in Yorkshire has come up with a decent potato, yet. The Yukon, however, is perfect for the plucky tuber.
Also, I have never heard of the Eye of Argon, but having just finishing Cloud Atlas (and I do recommend the book, as the movie is shit, basically contravening everything the book is meant to stand for while attempting to uphold it… eh), I will now look into it later this evening.
I’m curious, though – how far apart were the shaman’s testicles, if she managed to land a kick between them? Or her foot so delicate?
Left-over Clean-up:
The Mellow Monkey:
One day, the Hoverchair 10,000™ project will bear fruit. We’ll see how your Horse fares then, yes we will!
:D
Also, as Tony! says:
–
Esteleth, would you please deliver this *pouncehug* to the SpokesGay for me?
Oh, hey! And here’s one for you!
*pouncehug*
;)
–
*hugs* for carlie. I’m sorry yesterday sucked at you so hard.
–
Hi, Xaivius; Welcome In!
*passing over Official Questionnaire*
1) Horses?
2) peas?
3) cheese?
4) Miracle Whip™?
5) squashes?
–
Mmmm…bacon sammiches….
–
Welcome In, rabidwombat!
See Official Questionnaire, above.
:D
“Overwhelming love of cheese”. Good answer! Pea-loving, not-so-good. And Horses are, indeed, Uncool. Comes of Them being Evil.
Unsolicited comments on mayo are beside the point; how do you feel about Miracle Whip™?
–
Hi, Saad! Have I Welcomed you In, yet? If not, then consider it so!
:)
Questionnaire….
I was also a big Colossus fan!
The ass-kicking was Wolverine’s idea of appropriate punishment for Colossus’ cavalier treatment of Kitty, in the aftermath of the Secret Wars.
–
Tony!:
*nodding very vigorously*
Indeed! Some of us are allergic to the smoke.
I like breathing, and the Eternally-To-Be-Damned Ragweed is bad enough!
(Later)
But we love you for it.
:)
I, also, likes my popcorn a bit crisp.
–
Clean-up complete! Onward!
(Huh. ‘Questionnaire’ has two n’s. Whodathunkit?)
Thanks, rq. Yes, Yorkshire Gold is not a potato, it’s a strong black tea. Although Yukon gold potatoes are good potatoes, and a family favorite.
[TW:…Emotionally abusive? Fucked up along those lines in any case, beware]
Well, shit just went down. Got in a big fight with mom because she wanted to use my foodstamp card and I said no. I said no not to be an asshole but because I’m feeding three people on a budget for two and there’s still over two weeks til we get more. Long story short, I’m now disowned from every relative. Apparently, Fuckface husband is a better parent to Little One than me, I never do anything to help anyone, I don’t care about fuckface ex threats since I’m not willing to risk us by moving in with Mom and husband and that I’m a spoiled, lazy, ungrateful user.
After the big fight, I talked it through with Roomie because I was really upset (crying, shaking, and such) and realized a few things. She pulled a whole heap of bullshit that feels right out of the emotional blackmail, guilt tripping and gaslighting handbook.
1.) using all the money freely given ever in my entire life before from her as leverage that I can’t say no to anything she asks for. “I’ve given you thousands of dollars, yet you won’t help me with $10 today?”
2.) the denial of how I haven’t denied her food or shelter before, dismissing it as nothing since I won’t feed her today when she’s hungry again
3.) how she harped on my failures and just hand-waved the fact they get $1200 a month for SSI and SSD, then goes back to my failures, especially budget ones because I’m apparently supposed to budget food stamps for FIVE people (Us three and them) and refuses to admit the difference between not having money and “having budgeting issues” like they do. Yet it’s totes different that they’ve been homeless for three months and it’s my fault anyways since I won’t move with them. Even if I was willing and trusted them enough to live together, they’ve been switching between let’s get a place here, let’s move states, and we’re just going to leave without you.
4.) disregarding my ability issues with depression and MS because she’s “out there doing stuff”
5.) how she played word games to confuse me in order to defend fuckface and deny he’s on drugs and how it’s different with him because he’s on this medication that makes him awful so it’s not his fault. One moment it’s he doesn’t do drugs, then it’s he only does it when he’s on the medication, next it’s he hasn’t been doing it and she’s working on getting his meds switched, the next it’s he’s not doing drugs because he’s now off the medication yet she needs to eat NOW so they can go to the appointment and make a good impression with the new doctors to switch meds and she’s such a “raging bitch” while hungry and I won’t feed her so it’s all my fault. Yet they can’t go get food elsewhere but they can go to the appointment. Yet she never denied and changed the subject when I asked if there were places eat now for them.
6.) Denying that she’s said she help us with rent the last three months while Roomie struggles with work issues ( for instance, he was at Walmart but it was awful and wasn’t enough to pay bills so he got another job that starts in a week and a half)and hasn’t help us yet somehow that still counts as always helping us and us not doing anything in return
7.) Using Little One like “Good luck explaining why she doesn’t have a grandmother because you wouldn’t give me $10.” Then when I said she’d be taking food out of Little One’s mouth (I was beyond done and fighting dirty at this point too, I admit), she started in with the Little One would be better with them since they’re better parents than me.
8.) When she first asked it was $3, but when she pulled the disowning, started gathering her stuff out of our house and saying shit like “Good luck with rent and fuckface ex without me. We’re such better parents for Little One” it became $10.
9.) She took something out of my fridge said “Oh, I’m taking this. You gonna call the cops?” And when I angrily took it back, she said “See, so fucking petty. Fighting with me over this.”
Not only that, I did some math. She’s been absent for 17 years of my life total out of 24, and the two years together as a teen was in and out of shelters with her disabled and doing meth, among other issues. Like hitting me and trying to pull me back inside the crackhouse because I wanted to leave, having no food in the house and taking three buses from tempe to phoenix for high school because she couldn’t/wouldn’t switch my school. The other five years together as adults as been, well, this. It’s not like I stayed with them or depending upon them the whole time. Roomie gets to make that complaint, which I’ve never denied and have talked about making it so he could leave if he wanted and you guys can make the supporting me monetarily complaint but her? Not even close.
Roomie also pointed out that even if I am just looking out for myself, it makes damn good sense because no one else has and that’s how I’ve survived. Plus, when I’ve asked her for help and she said no or didn’t come through, I’ve never pulled this shit with her. I’ve just accepted it and found other ways to handle it. Oh and apparently the manager here doesn’t work with us on rent yet we’re still living here while being behind. She lets us pay on each check instead of all on the first, FFS. Yet I’m just supposed to move with them because the manager sucks (she does in a lot of ways, but not this one) and trust they won’t fuck me over? How am I supposed to believe that? As bad as it is here and now, it could be worse and would be with them.
Thank fuck I had Roomie to talk it out with because I was seriously sitting there thinking she was right about me. Depression was kick my ass, making me believe killing myself would make everything better. Quite a head trip to realize your mother isn’t better than my other relatives, she’s just a different shade of…abusive? I wanna say abusive yet that feels odd compared to what else I’ve dealt with. Hmmm. Yet after all I’ve said and typed, it feels right too. Huh. I was also apologizing to Roomie saying I’ve fucked us over and I’m so sorry I ruined everything while Roomie was just like “…You do realize they haven’t been helping us for months now, right? It’s not like we were actually depending on their help since they’ve kept flaking.” Which is how the whole discussion got started.
I’m willing to admit my wrong doings, like when I said she choose husbad over us, which kicked off the fight, and admit I was talking shit while angry because she was guilt tripping and wouldn’t accept no for an answer. I’ll admit that I shouldn’t have egged her on while packing by saying “Take your damn dog too since we’ve been paying for it all these months, and now you’re never coming back.” At which point she did so (after accusing me of trying to kill her dog) and began packing up her former cat, which she said would be better with Roomie and told him he could keep her. That cat was an asshole when around them but is much happier here. That cat is actually our three cat’s mom, actually. “Well, it’s my cat anyways. You don’t have proof ANY of these cats are yours. I’m the one who took ’em to the vet so I could take them all if I wanted and you couldn’t do a damn thing.” She took them in as she as soon as she could to fix them for free before finding them homes, which is when we took them in. Late September/October is not a good time for homing 5 all black cats but I digress.
Would she admit she was wrong, apologize and stop pulling this shit? I don’t think so. And considering how much she’s now lugging around, I have a feeling she’ll be back to drop it off and I’ll get round two. Round Two will have the “See what you put me through” and “I’m sorry I was just hungry, can’t you just understand and help us?” while crying. Because she knows I don’t deny her help. I’m beginning to put a pattern together here…
Phew, that was a lot. Yet I feel so much better. Thanks everyone! Also, sorry for the messiness, writing it was hard enough and trying to edit it just made it grow instead. I’m now going to eat for the first time today because I’m a person, damn it and don’t need to be ashamed to have food while she doesn’t. It is not my fault.
Hello everyone! I hope that today is good for everybody.
Today’s offering.
Does the internet have dialects?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDPasRas5u0
The mutability of language on the internet is really fascinating to me.
@jetboy
I looked at jobs related to forensic sciences, but I seem to recall that the extra education and licensing looked a bit onerous after the last five years of trying to learn two other things. I think I want to do something with the skills I have if I can, that and I do really miss science. But it’s worth revisiting it.
Brewing would be frustrating for me because alcohol and I have something of a bad relationship. I can drink socially without a problem (that I and others can see), but on my own things go to blackouts and such. There is something else that works very well for me, and I can even do things like read journal articles and think up fun possibilities while doing it, but it is sadly illegal at the moment. That sucks because there is some literature support for cannabis having benefits for TS.
@ rq
Miracle Whip does not bother me, but I prefer mayo. There are no deeper thoughts on the miracle of whips.
@ 2kittehs
Awwwwww… Kitties “helping”. My cat is trying to “help” while I look for jobs to apply to.
@ carlie
That bears more analysis, but on a first glance that is kind of scary to me. I don’t know how much of my current mind set is “I can’t be happy outside of science but my experience getting mentally diagnosed is making everything complicated”, and how much is “I had a traumatic experience with public education and I’m anxious at the thought of retraining again at 37”. Or a combination. I’ll take the hugs. I need to think about this. Thanks.
@ opposablethumbs
Thank you. I had a lot of strength, courage, and tenacity for a long time. I’m trying to get it back, but I still don’t know for sure where to point it if I get it.
@ toska
Thank you. Understanding it helps. Figuring out how much I can ask society to compromise is the part I’m working on now.
@ Dalillama
Thank you.
@ chigau
Successful extraction? Yay!
*crosses fingers* I hope this doesn’t post twice. I forgot to asterisk something my mother said.
[TW:…Emotionally abusive? Fucked up in any case]
Well, shit just went down. Got in a big fight with mom because she wanted to use my foodstamp card and I said no. I said no not to be an asshole but because I’m feeding three people on a budget for two and there’s still over two weeks til we get more. Long story short, I’m now disowned from every relative. Apparently, Fuckface husband is a better parent to Little One than me, I never do anything to help anyone, I don’t care about fuckface ex threats since I’m not willing to risk us by moving in with Mom and husband and that I’m a spoiled, lazy, ungrateful user.
After the big fight, I talked it through with Roomie because I was really upset (crying, shaking, and such) and realized a few things. She pulled a whole heap of bullshit that feels right out of the emotional blackmail, guilt tripping and gaslighting handbook.
1.) using all the money freely given ever in my entire life before from her as leverage that I can’t say no to anything she asks for. “I’ve given you thousands of dollars, yet you won’t help me with $10 today?”
2.) the denial of how I haven’t denied her food or shelter before, dismissing it as nothing since I won’t feed her today when she’s hungry again
3.) how she harped on my failures and just handwaved the fact they get $1200 a month for SSI and SSD, then goes back to my failures, especially budget ones because I’m apparently supposed to budget food stamps for FIVE people (Us three and them) and refuses to admit the difference between not having money and “having budgeting issues” like they do. Yet it’s totes different that they’ve been homeless for three months and it’s my fault anyways since I won’t move with them. Even if I was willing and trusted them enough to live together, they’ve been switching between let’s get a place here, let’s move states, and we’re just going to leave without you.
4.) disregarding my ability issues with depression and MS because she’s “out there doing stuff”
5.) how she played word games to confuse me in order to defend fuckface and deny he’s on drugs and how it’s different with him because he’s on this medication that makes him awful so it’s not his fault. One moment it’s he doesn’t do drugs, then it’s he only does it when he’s on the medication, next it’s he hasn’t been doing it and she’s working on getting his meds switched, the next it’s he’s not doing drugs because he’s now off the medication yet she needs to eat NOW so they can go to the appointment and make a good impression with the new doctors to switch meds and she’s such a “raging b***h” while hungry and I won’t feed her so it’s all my fault. Yet they can’t go get food elsewhere but they can go to the appointment. Yet she never denied and changed the subject when I asked if there were places eat now for them.
6.) Denying that she’s said she help us with rent the last three months while Roomie struggles with work issues ( for instance, he was at Walmart but it was awful and wasn’t enough to pay bills so he got another job that starts in a week and a half)and hasn’t help us yet somehow that still counts as always helping us and us not doing anything in return
7.) Using Little One like “Good luck explaining why she doesn’t have a grandmother because you wouldn’t give me $10.” Then when I said she’d be taking food out of Little One’s mouth (I was beyond done and fighting dirty at this point too, I admit), she started in with the Little One would be better with them since they’re better parents than me.
8.) When she first asked it was $3, but when she pulled the disowning, started gathering her stuff out of our house and saying shit like “Good luck with rent and fuckface ex without me. We’re such better parents for Little One” it became $10.
9.) She took something out of my fridge said “Oh, I’m taking this. You gonna call the cops?” And when I angrily took it back, she said “See, so fucking petty. Fighting with me over this.”
Not only that, I did some math. She’s been absent for 17 years of my life total out of 24, and the two years together as a teen was in and out of shelters with her disabled and doing meth, among other issues. Like hitting me and trying to pull me back inside the crackhouse because I wanted to leave, having no food in the house and taking three buses from tempe to phoenix for high school because she couldn’t/wouldn’t switch my school. The other five years together as adults as been, well, this.
Roomie also pointed out that even if I am just looking out for myself, it makes damn good sense because no one else has and that’s how I’ve survived. Plus, when I’ve asked her for help and she said no or didn’t come through, I’ve never pulled this shit with her. I’ve just accepted it and found other ways to handle it. Oh and apparently the manager here doesn’t work with us on rent yet we’re still living here while being behind. She lets us pay on each check instead of all on the first, FFS. Yet I’m just supposed to move with them because the manager sucks (she does in a lot of ways, but not this one) and trust they won’t get fuck me over? How am I supposed to believe that? As bad as it is here and now, it could be worse and would be with them.
Thank fuck I had Roomie to talk it out with because I was seriously sitting there thinking she was right about me. Depression was kick my ass, making me believe killing myself would make everything better. Quite a head trip to realize your mother isn’t better than my other relatives, she’s just a different shade of…abusive? I wanna say abusive yet that feels odd compared to what else I’ve dealt with. Hmmm. Yet after all I’ve said and typed, it feels right too. Huh. I was also apologizing to Roomie saying I’ve fucked us over and I’m so sorry I ruined everything while Roomie was just like “…You do realize they haven’t been helping us for months now, right? It’s not like we were actually depending on their help since they’ve kept flaking.” Which is how the whole discussion got started.
I’m willing to admit I said she choose husbad over us, which kicked off the fight, and admit I was talking shit while angry. I’ll admit that I shouldn’t have egged her on while packing by saying “Take your damn dog too since we’ve been paying for it all these months, since you’re done with me.” At which point she began packing up her former cat, which she said would be better with Roomie and said he could keep her. That cat was an asshole when around them but is much happier here. “Well, it’s my cat anyways. You don’t have proof ANY of these cats are yours. I’m the one who took ’em to the vet so I could take them all if I wanted and you couldn’t do a damn thing.” She took them in as she as she could to fix them for free before finding them homes like a month later which is when we took them in. Late september/october is not a good time for homing 5 all black cats but I digress.
But anyways, would she admit she was wrong, apologize and stop pulling this shit? I don’t think so. And considering how much she’s now lugging around, I have a feeling she’ll be back to drop it off and I’ll get round two. Round Two will have the “See what you put me through” and “I’m sorry, can’t you just understand and help us?” while crying. Because she knows I don’t deny her help. I’m beginning to put a pattern together here…
Phew, that was a lot. Yet I feel so much better. Thanks everyone! Sorry for the messiness, writing it out was hard enough and editing it just made it longer. I’m now going to eat for the first time today because I’m a person, damn it and don’t need to be ashamed to have food while she doesn’t. It is not my fault.
I suggest this version.
Uh, CD, with the broken rib and all, I suggest you avoid it. O.O
JA, hugs for you and Little One. I’m glad you had Roomie there to remind you that you are in the right on this, and also that you’ve got a safe space here for venting.
JAL, I hear you and everything she pulled was just vile. You’re a person and you definitely deserve damn it food. *offers anklehugs* (Also let me email you about a book and card)
Drat it, I know I typed JAL!!! Sorry about that!
*hugs* for JAL. I’m glad you have Roomie by your side.
JAL
*hugs* That’s a shitty situation, and your mother’s being an asshole.
JAL
*hugs* :(
That’s one sensible Roomie you have.
Your mom is being a manipulative asshole.
Stay safe.
Hello everyone –
Long time lurker, recent poster. Not only the president of the hair club for men…but also a client.
Greetings, fellow Pharyngulites. I’ve just returned from a camping trip to one of the many places in Idaho with no cell phone coverage, so I am hopelessly threadrupt. Thought I’d post a Moment of Mormon Madness anyway.
In July, Robert Kempton was arrested in Arizona in a prostitution sting. The police action took place in a hotel near Priest Drive. In his youth, Kempton served an LDS mission in Virginia and in North Carolina. In his adult years he served as Stake President in the Tempe Arizona South Stake of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He was definitely a holder of the Priesthood.
An ex-mormon noted that perhaps Brother Kempton figured that if a woman helped with masturbation then it would not be a sin.
http://www.azfamily.com/news/Tempe-police-arrest-16-in-prostitution-sting-267426261.html
JAL
I’m sorry you have to deal with that kind of stuff. Hugs if you’d like some.
So, I see that Dr. Kent Brantly gave God the credit for saving his life after he was infected with the Ebola virus in Africa. “To God be the Glory.” “I can not thank you enough for your prayers and your support. I serve a faithful God who answers prayers. “
God decided not to save other Ebola victims, especially those that Dr. Brantly treated in Africa, because they were not god-addled American white missionaries.
http://www.ajc.com/news/news/report-ebola-patient-to-speak-at-emory-news-confer/ng6ZT/?__federated=1
JAL
here’s a pile of hugs. wish I had some spare spoons.
I’m glad your roomie is there, and good at helping sort through the massive quantities of Emotional Manipulation that woman is trying to bury you underneath. That’s some serious, weapons grade BS, and I’m really sorry you have to deal with it.
I’ve been reading your comments for several years now–U R Good People. Your love of Little One always shines through–along with your toughness and determination to be a great mom to her. That f*cking matters. A. Lot. U R Good People.
JAL:
All the hugs and all the sympathy. You’re a good person and a good mother. Your mothers’ hurtful words are waaay out of line.
****
Found out today when I went in for some training at work that they’ve pushed the opening day from Sept 2 to Sept 9. Gee. Lovely. I’m not mad at them. I know restaurant openings have unforeseen events that affect opening dates, but it’s still frustrating.
I’m grateful I’ve got people that can assist me with rent, but I really want to start working; like now.
Lynna,
Does the good doctor not see how ridiculous that sounds?
All those patients of his dying, but God rushed to save him.
Doctors worked on him, as he has worked on other patients, but it’s not the doctors’ work that gets praised.
Prayer works except when it doesn’t… glory to God!
Welcome to the Lounge bostonhook
Lynna:
Don’t know if you saw this comment I made about Mormon missionaries from the last thread. I wondered if you had any thoughts.
Shit, JAL, I’m sorry your mother has pulled this shit on you. I’m glad your Roomie is there to help you see through it, when it is being thrown at you so overwhelmingly like this. Talk about emotional blackmail over the cats, and over Little One – that’s awful. All the hugs to you, and hoping you get a break from this.
Hello, kitty!
–
Welcome In, gog!
Have you been Questionnaired, yet?
–
jste, I will gladly share my *napalm!* with you for the purpose of destroying such toxic substances. If the *napalm!* isn’t up to the job, may I offer you a tac-nuke?
–
Cccoooooookkkkiiiieesssss!
–
Rey Fox!!!
*pouncehug-with-accumulated-interest*
Many things are currently sucking mighty hard…but there are still kittehs, and chocolate, and the Horde…and Miracle Whip™!
:D
–
<serious face>
Brony: Anecdata; I haz it.
Son has ADD. It didn’t trouble him much in school, once we got him properly/officially diagnosed and on medication (though invariably there was an “off” period at the beginning of each school year (as he’d outgrown the previous dosage during the summer, and had to do all the officially-mandated hoop-jumping before it could be adjusted) when his grades would suffer).
After he graduated, he stopped taking the meds, and was doing fine—in fact, he found certain of the effects of the ADD to be beneficial to him at work. Recently, though, he noticed that he was having trouble with concentration and memory which he wasn’t used to, and was terrified that he might be having some Alzheimers-like problem. Turns out that the ADD was responsible for it; once on meds again, it has cleared up, and his brain is once again performing to his expectations.
ADD/ADHD doesn’t “go away”.
ADD/ADHD runs rough-shod over the males in my family (father, uncle, brothers, cousins, nephews…), nor do I think I am free of it. My brothers (one ADD, one ADHD) were, as you put it, raised in a “military/religious heritage and culture”, while Son was not (either military or religious). I see no significant difference between my ADD brother’s exhibited behavior, and Son’s. Coping skills aside, I don’t think you can “make it go away” just by changing culture sets.
</serious face>
–
Menyambal!
*hugs with-or-without-pounce, and/or acceptable non-intrusive gestures of welcome*
–
jetboy, have I, at any point, Welcomed you In? I’m not sure if I recognize your ‘nym or not. In any case Welcome!
“Zymurgy”. What an excellent Scrabble word!
My favorite is “syzygy”.
:)
–
It Is Written (somewhere), that Thou Shalt Not Suffer The Pea To Cohabit With The Corn, lest ye be cast into Outer Darkness.
(Which is, by implication, Darker than mere Inner Darkness. Who says?
Where’s the data?)
–
2kittehs:
*raising hand*
That would be me.
Painful Hot Objects, all of ’em.
Even the allegedly-harmless bell peppers. They do not haz a flavor, being constructed entirely out of Pain and Tears.
–
opposablethumbs:
1) Tony! and Portia are each part of the Hivemind, which is One Hivemind, now and forever, world-without-end-’til-it-does, Nema!
2) It’s a Mystery on par with the Holy Trinity, only better and more complicated, for having so many separate-but-equal-and-the-same constituent parts. It’s Super-Advanced Atheology.
–
rq:
*snortleroflmao!*
*rushing to post the linky to FarceBork*
–
David, have you only just found out about The Eye of Argon?
It is legendary.
:)
–
Mellow Monkey? rq?
C’mon, y’all! You gotta be shittin’ me!
Next thing, y’all’ll be claiming ignorance of The Gazebo!
–
*hugs* and support for JAL.
I’m sorry that your mom is full of shit.
But she is.
The emotional blackmail is clear and obvious.
Kudos for Roomie for pointing it out.
*moar hugs*
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Hi, bostonhook; Welcome In!
–
Sorry about the opening-date push-back, Tony!.
–
JAL
I’m so sorry. You’re right to use the word abusive to describe your mother’s behavior. Taking care of yourself and the Little One are the most important things. All I can give is my empathy, and hugs if you want them.
Oh, fresh baked jalapeño cornbread, why are you so delicious and comforting?
Saad:
I love cornbread, but I’m not a fan of it having stuff in it (jalapenos or pieces of corn). I’ve been known to eat it from time to time though, especially if the cornbread is on the sweeter side, thus giving a balance between sweet n spicy.
cicely
I led a very Horse-sheltered existence, with peas stuffed into my ears and sometimes eyes, so you will forgive me my occasional lapses in NotKnowingNess. Horse, all hail ye mighty, rescued me, but I forever since cannot abide The Pea. So, no, I profess Grand Ignorance of The Gazebo (shall check out link at home, though!).
Also, my apologies to everyone for posting that one link at least four times, it was showing up as a disappearing comment. It is funny, but not that funny.
+++
Still don’t have answers from all the new folk (lookin’ at you, jetboy and gog, though you’re not the only ones), so here’s the form, once again, for your benefit:
Please express your opinion on the following:
1) horses;
2) peas;
3) cheese;
and (by apparently now-popular request)
4) Miracle Whip (not to be confused with mayonnaise).
Thank you!
If there was no Lounge, I think I would not be crawling out of this deathpit of despair at the world in general.
Thanks, y’all.
Oh no! But I only just found out about the facsimile pdf! :-) I did not previously know how awesome the ending is (I quoted the last two sentences), nor that a
urinary glandis featured. *rotfl*I won’t read the MST3K version without reading the facsimile first, and I don’t currently have time for that… I’ve turned into the first of two authors of a manuscript about an Oligocene newt, and it’ll be some time before I get better. :-)
Tony @88, many thanks for providing the link back to a previous thread. I am definitely not caught up with past Lounge threads. I do have a few thoughts about the article from you excerpted descriptions of the missionary training centers and mission programs of mormondum. Also, I reacted to your comments (fun to read, btw).
Repeat Tony’s link: The Atlantic archive.”
I’ve heard from ex-mormons that the missionaries from Utah, and especially those trained in Utah, are more uptight, more screwed up by mormonism than other mormon missionaries. Other missionaries pray that they are not assigned a companion from Utah.
Missionaries come out of the MTC trained to be unethical, pushy sales people. After their missions, they are ideal employees for businesses trying to push Multi-Level Marketing Schemes, especially those run by mormons. Also ideal for unethical home security systems sales, etc.
Very true. Some mission presidents will even out missionaries publicly for masturbation.
This is all part of the big push to keep young men from masturbating. Young women missionaries are also not supposed to masturbate, but the emphasis is on the young men. However, what I’ve been told by several ex-mormons is that the bathroom is the only place where a missionary is allowed to be alone — just don’t be alone for too long. I also had not heard that you have to actually wake your companion in the middle of the night. Even if some mormon leaders have suggested that, I doubt that even the most gung-ho missionaries do that.
Mormons think that Satan is particularly interested in fucking with missionaries. Mormon missionaries are supposedly the cream of humanity, and Satan fears their success, therefore he fucks with them by tempting them in various ways. Satan even lurks in bodies of water that may tempt mormon missionaries in warm climates to go swimming, to take off their magic underwear.
Once the missionaries are safely married, everything is supposed to be as God intended. No problems whatsoever. Baby mormons on the way!
That’s the idea all right. In real life, many 19 year old missionaries figure out how to scam the mormon system, and how to fool their companions. Some lead their companions down what to mormons would be very dark paths. Some escape. Some go bonkers. Many contract diseases that are not properly treated. Mental illness is often not properly addressed. 19-year-olds are pushed to proselytize even when ill.
Too many mormon missionaries return home with physical or mental ailments that trouble them for the rest of their lives. One example is discussed here:
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1354656,1356086#msg-1356086
Well, I didn’t close my link tag properly. Sorry. I’m sure you can figure it out anyway, Tony.
Sorry rq, I must have missed it last time but I’ll play.
Horses: My brother has owned several and they are beautiful animals but be careful they like to eat jackets.
Peas: I am a fruit and veggi lover so I have nothing against peas. Snow peas are awesome on a salad, steamed peas and carrots with a little butter and a sprinkle pepper hits the spot during the winter.
Cheese: As long as it isn’t cheap processed cheese I love it.
Miracle Whip: For those of you who don’t know that mayo and miracle whip are definitely different in taste. I personally cannot stand mayo, I hate it on burgers and sandwiches alike, all it does is kill the flavor. Miracle Whip on the other hand doesn’t mask flavor and adds a little tangy to what it is put on and best of all has half the calories of mayo. Pasta salads with Miracle Whip are some of my favorites, I make a giant Tupperware bowl of it. And I have a meal for better than a week and at only $20-25 in ingredients I cannot complain.
Lynna, OM
It’s true I live in Utah and Mormons here are more judgmental and uptight than anywhere else in the US I have encountered them.
Also a funny note, RC Whilley hires return missionaries as sales persons because they are well trained in selling.
This is a more somber note but very true, all that pressure to start a family for young boys in Utah is bad and the suicide rates reflect.
http://www.health.utah.gov/vipp/suicide/
Tee hee. :3
JAL
Abuse is precisely what you are experiencing from your mother. I am so sorry you are going through this. I am a strong advocate of permanent removal of self from abusive family. I know… easy to say, difficult to do. I wish you and Little One and Roomie well.
rq
QFT!
In other international news:
A friend here in California has a Ukrainian girlfriend of several years duration. She is flying in to see him today. I just got this message from him, in part:
Fuck this country.
Morgan
That’s definitely messed up.
morgan:
That’s really fucked up. This country…ARGH!
Wes Aaron
Yeah, it’s easy to be judgmental when the majority of people support your position. I think everyone could use an experience where they hold a minority position on some issue in their social group. It’s good for humility, and for questioning other beliefs one may hold just because ‘everyone else thinks that way.’
Morgan
What the hell??? I hope your friend’s girlfriend can work the situation out. What a long way to go (and a lot of money) just to be sent home.
morgan
Oh my gosh, I hope she’s at least alright (physically), and your friend, too, and that’s horrible! I don’t suppose they were kind enough to give a valid, logical reason, were they? Not likely. :(
My friend and his girlfriend have not seen each other since Putin invaded Crimea. They customarily trade off flying to each other’s country several times a year, but it has been difficult lately. She has a visa and a travel history. We don’t yet know what alternatives or remedies are available. “Shut up and obey orders” comes to mind.
Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!! I didn’t know that they had agreed finally to get married. She was flying here to marry him! He is very distraught. I can only imagine how upset she is.
toska
You could be right and that in my 36 years living in Utah of never meeting anyone who has disagreed with the fact that Utah Mormons are generally worse than those elsewhere, but also missionaries and those Mormons from out of state are very aware of this as well. So I could be wrong, but given that I have never experienced anyone commenting differently it does leave me to wonder if everyone I have met and everyone that has engaged in a conversation about this has expressed the same views, are we wrong or is it just that obvious. The best analogy I got was go to the heart of any religious faith and you find the same behavior by those of their respective faiths, but that still doesn’t justify the actions.
Morgan
I second this. That is royally fucked up.
Dang, conversation is getting good and I have to go to work.
Good day all and may the forces of evil become confused on the way to your home.
Wes Aaron
Sorry if there was any confusion! I wasn’t criticizing your perception that Mormons in UT are more judgmental. I meant, it’s easier for Mormons to be judgmental in UT, where they seem to be the majority, rather than the rest of the world, where they are not only a minority, but they are also, frankly, seen as cult-like, even by other Christians.
Aw fuck, ya’ll:
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the harm in “just letting people have their beliefs.”
morgan
That’s fucked up, but they’re probably stopping her on account of the marriage. Because she’s probably doing it for the citizenship, fuck them, never mind the travel history and the flying back and forth… Gahds I hope they (your friend and his fiancee) get it sorted out, I hope they find alternatives, and fuck the authorities. :(
(…ladies, gentlemen, and…is there an equivalent for non-binary persons?)
Oh, my mood just did a complete 180°
I was feeling kinda despondent for not any particular reason. Not really in a bad mood, but I was in between feeling good and feeling bad, leaning towards being in a dump. I’m feeling a LOT better after this:
http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/federal_judge_rules_florida_same_sex_marriage_ban_unconstitutional
@ rq
Thank you. Good luck with your efforts.
@ JAL
My thoughts are with you. I hope things improve. Your mother seems to be abusive and manipulative. I hope you can get through to the rest of your relatives with what you have shared with us. She seems to find it hard to see that relationships are two way affairs.
@ bostonhook
Hello and welcome!
@ cicely
I was diagnosed as a child and my parents tried Ritalin. But they did not know (and society was not paying attention well enough yet) about the Tourette’s and the Ritalin made the TS more intense so they took me off of it (they complained of things like me picking my skin and such, in retrospect the TS tics were socially invisible to everyone but school bullies). So now that I know the ADHD does not go away I got on adderall. It worked for a while but I’m not sure anymore and want to try other options.
It’s more like culture reinforces an effect that can last 3-4 generations, and “military” is to you, a proxy for a set of “modes of existence” that influence brain systems involved in ADHD phenomena. There will be other things that can produce ADHD and if the effect can span several generations it makes sense that you could be affected as well (and of course gender and other social difference matter in how the effects will be specifically expressed).
As an example of the sort of data that leads me to this consider the recent observation that nicotine exposure in grandmother mice increase the incidence of ADHD-like symptoms in grandchildren mice (I’ll get to the military connection in a moment). There is also a correlation between smoking during pregnancy and ADHD.
http://psychcentral.com/news/2014/03/06/could-grandmas-prenatal-smoking-factor-into-your-childs-adhd/66753.html
For this to be possible nicotine has to be interacting with a natural system that is already designed for the transmission of information intergenerationally. Why do I think this applies to me? My mother never smoked, my Dad has a hatred of cigarettes because he blames them for his mothers cancer. Yes I am an anecdote, but I get to apply what I read to myself, and I have to take your experience into account and would be very interested in what you think. The common denominator will be more likely to be true.
As for the military connection, I have to ask myself what does that natural system that transmits intergenerational information do? I think the answer is in how people with ADHD have their perception shaped relative to “normal”. There are appeals to “hyper-focus” (attention more “locked” onto the center of attention and less in “peripheral attention”), reading is difficult and slower but visuals seem to stick in the mind fine (more tuned to images than symbology in information processing), names and numbers are very hard to get stuck in the memory (less on specifics, more on general patterns in perception), there is a mental tendency to switch tasks faster (scanning around the environment in situational awareness) and more. While these sorts of features will be present in other ways of living, “combat ape” is not very farfetched. I want to embrace this in a neutral way, but the way society is structured makes that very difficult and specifics on how to create coping mechanisms in science are so far extremely difficult to find.
I would be very interested in hearing what you think about this. If you want me to expand on anything let me know.
@Morgan
I’m sorry to hear about your friend. I hope there are things you can do to help.
Unspecified “weather experts” are reported as saying that summer is over, and that “ex-hurricane Bertha” is to blame for the present and, apparently, future chilly weather.
I disapprove.
Azkyroth
I just go with “friends.” Not sure if there’s a more specific term that would work better.
Tony!
Yes! I celebrate every victory for marriage equality, and there have been a lot of celebrations over the last year :)
Horde,
For all the hard working Pharyngulites keeping up the good fight I offer:
Toasted Cheese Sandwiches with Aged (3 year) Canadian White Cheddar
Homemade Tomato Soup with garlicky croutons
Cold Whole Poached Salmon with Creamed Dill Sauce and lemon
A Vegetable Melange Curry with steamed rice and Nan (bread)
Fresh Spinach Salad with Raspberries, Kiwis, toasted almonds with Raspberry Vinaigrette
Crusty Rustic Bread with Sweet Butter
and for dessert I would like to impose on rq for her Killer Cheesecake
Help yerselves, my friends.
…is it November already? >.>
Hmm. Maybe I’ll just use “GENTLECRITTERS :D” from now on. :3
morgan:
I’ll pass on the cheesecake, but everything else sounds mouthwateringly delicious especially that salmon dish. OMG!
See, Tony? I don’t just do the paperwork around here. *hrmph* Not that you’re bothering to appreciate my efforts.
*produces trademark Killer Marble Cheesecake, with lemon-lime-ginger layer and chocolate-chili layer, and is magically all-allergen-free (available only via USB)*
*… and a cookie for Tony*
David
I disapprove also. I feel like someone switched summer off and dumped us into the end of September (You and your November, Azkyroth, can go and…), minus all the pretty colours. Harrumph, I say again!
And morgan, seeing as how it’s after 1AM and I’m at work without dinner, that list of deliciously unavailable and unpresent food was torture. :P I think it’s time to go home.
Up from my nap populated by nightmares (afternoonmares?) to more horrible news, I see.
Morgan, your poor friends! I hope they get the happiness they deserve, and sooner rather than later.
Tony!, that’s very happy news! I hope things keep moving forward, everybody should have the chance to marry the one they love.*
*Assuming that’s what they want, everybody is able to consent and of legal age and status, etc etc etc. Because a vague disclaimer is nobody’s friend.
I can’t chew until tomorrow.
Can I run that meal through a blender?
chigau
Everything in one go?
Sorry about the torture rq but you know, I have this image of our Social Justice Warriors manning the barricades ala French Revolution and returning to base for rest and sustenance. I would be there offering the best victuals I could compose and making sure they get rested, revived and armored to resume the fight.
And boy howdy do I want your Killer Cheesecake recipe!
Azkyroth
Gentlecritters is awesome!!! I’d like to steal that, if you don’t mind.
rq
I appreciate your paperwork efforts! Especially if there is cheesecake involved… :D
Oh! One last thing that matters in my response in #120 cicely.
I started using a nicotine vaporizer and have no previous history of smoking. The sensation is one of having the contrast in my perception increased. I’m not quite sure how to work that one in yet.
rq
Perhaps not.
I don’t think that would result in anything anyone would find palatable.
Dish by dish, please.
chigau
I’ll run each course individually through a blender and you can mix as desired. Hope the mouth feels better soon, Last time I had serious dental work I ate mashed potatoes for a few days.
morgan
I can pass it on, though it’s subject to ummm improvisation? :D I can reveal the secrets here (though tomorrow, as I am on my way home and most likely to bed) or via email (see last thread comment 73). Up to you! :)
Uh, I think that’s comment 573, actually. When is the numbering going to be straightened out? Oh, and the ‘Around FtB’ box with linkies of new articles everywhere in the sidebar of each blog?
Cheers for now!
Morgan
Augh! And not even a clue as to why? Suck.
Morgan again
That’s a heckuva menu. Don’t mind if I do…
rq
Hey, improvisation is my middle name! Especially in the kitchen. Please post the Killer Cheesecake recipe here. I think there are more folks than just me who would love to have it.
Found out a bit more about my friend’s Russian fiancee. Evidently she didn’t mention the pending wedding, but she was traveling on a tourist visa and wasn’t carrying the requisite amount of money. I don’t know what that amount is. Shitty.
Horses: I like ’em. One of my childhood friends had a couple; mother and son. Mischief and Rocket.
Peas: I don’t mind them. I’ll eat them. I have no strong feelings, though.
Cheese: I work in a deli. I have access to large amounts of cheese. The only thing that keeps me from eating myself to death is the price of the good stuff.
Miracle Whip: my mom used it on sandwiches when I was a kid. I don’t really go for creamy sandwich spreads anymore. Also it’s kinda gross to me now.
Morgan –
…I’ve been reading Ferguson news for a week and *now* you made me cry. ♥
morgan, that’s so fucked up about your friends. I hope they can beat it.
When OH and I did this, we travelled together – which helped on arrival at the border – and OH had to get a special visa beforehand.
Your menu is making my mouth water (salmon!!!!!!). As is the cheesecake, oh my fsm lemonlimeginger om nom nom ^2
@ Tony: Didn’t want to clog that thread, but thanks for the [OT] remark.
Morgan
I guess we only accept rich tourists here. That is so fucking infuriating. I hope there is a way your friend can help her before she’s on the plane. Maybe they’ll let him give her some money, so she meets the limit. I doubt it, because being hard asses is how some people in positions of authority get their kicks. But I hope they decide to be lenient and helpful.
Pteryxx
Glad to be of service General Pteryxx.
David:
So, who should we be burning anyway?
:)
–
Wes Aaron:
And minds.
Also, They aren’t above eating human flesh, if They think They can get away with it.
(Mynd you, Hørse bites Kan be pretti nasti….)
Peas are Entertainment, and ammo.
You done good on the cheese and Miracle Whip™ questions; pass, friend!
:D
(Later)
That would be the Horses.
–
*straight-faced*
Hmmm…but do they pill up in the shower?
–
Morgan !?, that is fucked up.
Beyond fucked up. My sympathies for your friend and his fiancee.
*sigh*
America.
What a conntry.
–
Azkyroth:
Yup.
But only because <Comic Sans>they were the wrong beliefs</Comic Sans>.
For which she, and her followers, were obviously punished (with death) by Glod All-smite-y.
“Esteemed sophonts….”
“My fellow sentient beings….”
–
“A U.S. judge today struck down Florida’s ban on same-sex marriage, marking the 38th win at the federal level since June 2013 for marriage equality supporters.”
Huzzah!
*confetti&fireworks*
–
Brony, to meander my way through your #120: My dad smoked—heavily; it was the “done thing” in the Marines, and the Sturgeon General had not yet Declaimed From On High at the time he started. His nicotine intake increased over time (but 4 tours of Vietnam are probably a relevant datum). I was his first-born, and I have never smoked. My next-born siblings (two years later) came as a set; I believe they both tried it, didn’t like it, and dropped it, even though they both went into the Marines; Brother did snuff for a while, but later quit. After that, there’s a 6-year gap before my other sister; I don’t know whether she smokes nicotine-containing substances, but I do know that there’s not much else she hasn’t smoked, drank, snorted, etc. Another 6 years, and we get to my youngest brother, who I know did smoke (as a weight-loss aid; tasty pick, there, bro!), and I don’t know whether he still does.
My mother alleges that she has never smoked, and I see no reason to doubt her word on this particular matter.
Son does not smoke.
He does attribute his Mad Computer-Game Skillz to his ADD; he picks up on what’s happening and is already reacting before his opponents register that something’s up. His friends tried “handicapping” him by having him drink while they played…which only seemed to fine-tune his Skillz.
He also reacts with similar speed to road hazards (human and otherwise) when driving, which I would suppose to be more of the same.
I have always read a lot, since I caught on that it all wasn’t Ann and Dan can run and jump. Names and numbers, though, are a problem…except, for some reason, Avogadro’s Number, which will not leave my brainmeats. Son reads accurately, but reluctantly, is not much on names, but maths very well indeed.
I’m not sure how useful all of this is, but “combat ape” makes a certain amount of sense. Or, as I once told Son, years back when he was first dealing with ADD & Him, it’s damned useful to spot the quivering end of the tail before the feline pounces.
–
123
Those cat craps are’t gonna scoop themselves.
:(
–
Still ‘rupt
jetboy
Have you seen The Jolson Story?
cicely
Do you know about the Head Of Vecna?
Morgan!?
Fucking hell. *hugs* and supportive gestures to all involved.
rq
I can’t conceive (literally) of what such a reason might be.
Azkyroth
‘Gentles’ is a non-gendered collective honorific, although it’s rather archaic and not much used these days.
Non-gendered honorifics? I rather like “gentlebeings”; it could include non-humans, if needed.
Tony!
Imagine something that’s kinda like devon, except cheaper and nastier, and sold as a log of processed meat sorta like that cheap dog food stuff that you’d probably rather not feed your dog.
Also, cicely, yay *napalm!*!!!!
(‘rupt)
cicely #69:
Thanks for the welcome!
1) Indifferent to horses, but baby horses can be so dang cute sometimes
2) Like peas, but by themselves or in a pot pie
3) Adore cheese (except cheddar/sharp cheddar)
4) Miracle Whip – honestly never had it. Don’t really like mayonnaisey things
5) Don’t like squashes or any squash-like things (and there are a lot of them)
Cicely – I think your son sounds like he’s on the “probably too old for it” end, but did he read any of the Percy Jackson novel series? Even though it’s billed as YA, he might find it interesting – one of the central conceits is that all of the teenaged demigods have what is diagnosed as ADD, but is actually their inherited lightning-fast reflexes and battle wits that serve them well in the heat of the fight.
Miracle Whip and mayonnaise are different foods, suitable for different purposes. I grew up on Miracle Whip, so I admit I find it more to my liking in most circumstances. Mayo just tastes like a mouthful of fat.
Anne, Old Gumbie Cat:
See? See?!?
The night-and-dayMares have assaulted her mind.
My point, I think!
–
Morgan !?, can I have mine in gluten-free?
–
*hugs* and *Novocaine* (if desired) for chigau.
–
*reads gog‘s Questionnaire answers, sighs deeply and shakes head*
You make me sad.
–
Dalillama:
Indeed! Another of the Classics!
I ran the Head of Vecna (different presentation) years ago, back before I’d read about it.
It’s still talked about in-group to this day.
:) :) :)
–
cicely, if they were actual horses, they’d be a lot easier to deal with. Still, you may have a point. All the horsie-talk in the Lounge is affecting my brain.
carlie, Son is 28? 29? and about to be very busy, what with impending paternity and all. But when Grandson is old enough, I definitely have the Percy Jackson books in mind.
:)
–
Cicely – I liked them at 38, for what that’s worth. :)
I’m sure I would, too…but as I said, Son is a reluctant reader.
Maybe reading to Grandson will shake that up.
–
http://mic.com/articles/90131/the-8-biggest-lies-men-s-rights-activists-spread-about-women
(via perry street palace)
(bolding mine)
That bolded statement gave me a O.o moment. Is the feminist movement experiencing a wave of online solidarity? Genuine question, bc I have no clue.
Thanks to a very wet summer, there are toads everywhere here. Whenever I go outside after dark I have to shuffle my feet along, lest I crush one of my amphibian friends. I just had to poke a big fat one to make it move out of the way so I could open and close the door without fearing for its safety. Hop along, little buddy!
Mellow Monkey:
I know what you mean. Anytime it rains, we get frogs all over the place. They love to plant themselves on the front door and try to sneak in. I always try to catch them bc the cats would have a field day. Earlier tonight as I was feeding the dogs, I was trying to shut the sliding glass door to the yard and I was worried I might crush a frog that was situated inbetween both the doors. Thankfully it scooted, otherwise I’d have had to shoo it away.
BTW, may I ask about your new post-nym?
…what is this “rain” you speak of?
Tony!, some years back when I was working for a co-op we had an amphibian heavy summer that lead to the little things doing their best to hop in our loading dock. I ended up picking up a lot of them to deposit them to safety. (And this lead to a lot of toad terror pee. Ick.)
Re: my post-nym. Thank you for asking! I was going to explain, but you beat me to the topic. I’ve been waffling over my pronouns for ages now and finally feel comfortable settling in with “they.” They being used to refer to a single person in gender neutral language is apparently as cognitively efficient [PDF] to readers as he/she and I hate to be a bother, so that works.
Fun with frogs, oh joy. I like frogs, but not indoors.
We had a bit of a nature adventure earlier this week – Shadow started poking something right around my comfy chair, so I checked it out. It was pinkish and long and skinny and very wriggly, and just then it got away from her and disappeared into the stuff around my chair.
So we all excavated, I finally spotted it and Emily got it into a jar. We had a good look before she escorted it to the big outdoors, and it looked like a worm with little teeny legs. Consensus is it was a baby alligator lizard, but how it got in, I have no idea. I’d brought both cats in at least an hour before, so unless Shadow has pockets, there’s no way she could’ve gotten it past me.
But I think the plagues of frogs have me beat.
Anne:
I like frogs too, I just wish they wouldn’t pee on you when you’re trying to save their lives.
I know. Why don’t the frogs appreciate what we’re doing for them, huh? Don’t they know we’re trying to help them? What ungrateful amphibians!
Desert tortoises are bad that way too – back when my mother was still teaching elementary school, she took one of ours to show the kids, and of course as soon as she held him up, he let loose with a flood.
It’s fucked up that gay people are treated so horribly in society, yet many of them go on to treat bisexual people the same way.
Anne:
I bet the kids laughed something fierce at that.
Oh, they did!
Emily’s got a new bird post up – she made a bit of a discovery at the park this week.
http://emilyd47.blogspot.com/2014/08/finch-invasion.html
I’m very rupt
But I wanted to share a little happiness. I got to swim in Lake Michigan at sunset. That sentence is the synopsis of my “happy place”. Can’t describe how healing it was for me. I even like the way my hair still smells like lake.
I had some lovely quality time with my mom, too. Wandering around a touristy little town with shops. I’m really glad I risked (or rather, powered through) some social anxiety about the whole event and went along.
I think there was some extra sweet corn tonight. I’ll leave it on a platter on the bar over here. Help yourselves. Have a hug while you’re at it.
I’m happy for your happy, Portia! You gave me a smile.
Portia:
Awww, that’s really cool. I’m happy for you :)
Have you always enjoyed swimming in Lake Michigan at sunset?
Glad you had happiness, Portia! That sounds like it was really satisfying for you.
Thanks Anne:) glad to spread the smiles
Tony: I grew up in michigan, and thanks to my mom, my cousins, siblings, and I spent as much of the summer as possible at the Lake Michigan beach. It’s always been my happy place. The sunset bit adds a beautiful, peaceful joy to it that puts the icing on the cake.
Thanks for asking:)
Thanks TMM :)
–
Whenever I re-read a comment, I bemoan my hurried grammar and syntax. But I know that in this context Dr. Seuss is correct. Those who matter don’t mind :). (I’m leaving off the rest on purpose haha)
Anyone up for some adorable dirty doggie pics?
(dirty as in getting messy in the dirt and mud)
Tony
I admit I wasn’t sure what you meant… ;)
–
Bonus Portia Happy: last week I got a haircut I’m not crazy about. After drying from the swim, it looks *great*. I guess I’ll have to get the Lake Water Treatment every day :D
Portia:
Ha!
Looking at my comment now, my disclaimer doesn’t really help much does it?
(anyone reading my comment @176, the images are of dogs who are dirty from being in mud and dirt. It’s completely ‘G’ rated)
Thank you all for your support, love, and hugs. I love y’all so much
#75 Pteryxx
It took me a second there when reading “damn it food” but then I smiled. Thank you! :3
————————————
#84 Funny Diva
It’s weird I’ve never thought of it that way. I’ve always thought it’s been just me reading and occasionally commenting with a few regulars recongizing me. I mean, it’s really obvious yet that acknowledgment feels unexpectedly awesome. Thank you so much for that.
——————————–
#104 Morang!?
Thank you. I’m usually the same way, which is why I’m finding it so odd this hang up. Maybe I’ve just swallowed that “it’s not abuse if it’s not physical” bunk and am reluctant to give up specifically on her. I’ve never really had a mother-daughter relationship with her but our lives parallel each other so much it’s scary. I feel for her because I know what she’s been through, the damage that causes morphing how she relates to others, and am worried about ending up like her. (Not in the usual, we’re so alike personality wise way because that’s not how we are.) I think that also explains why I cling so tight to the “I will take the high road and be better than her” when it’d just be smarter to cut my losses and let her go again. Huh. There’s another Pharyngula realization.
It just trips me out because I left at 16 and when we reconnected at 21, she swore she was so sorry for pulling all that bullshit before and wouldn’t cause that to happen again. Then she threatens to leave like no big deal. But hey, she lasted three years which beats her previous record of two consecutive years together. That’s progress, right?
/snort
——————————–
#120 Brony
My apologies for the confusion. I disowned every other family member for being abusive or for supporting my abuser long ago. My mother was the only blood related family left so her walking out means no more blood relatives.
I’ve spilled so much of my life here, some I’ve never told anyone before, and it’s too easy to forget who knows what with how people weave in & out. Especially when being that emotional it too often becomes a stream of consciousness kind of activity.
———————–
Update: She called to apologize in the afternoon but I couldn’t hear because of traffic noise. She said she’d call back 10 mins later but didn’t. Didn’t hear back from her all day and was relieved. Well, she just showed up to clean up after a bowel accident (part of her disability) and I couldn’t say no to letting her clean up. She left some stuff as well. She said “I apologize for most of what I said earlier” without clarifying further. No fucking joke, that’s an exact quote. After I heard that I distinctly did not apologize because I was so flabbergasted. I mean, WTF is that shit? She taking tips from Dawkins or something? Good fucking grief.
Yeah, all my wavering is out the window now. Roomie did a fucking double take and ended up dying in his PVP game when he heard that. She just went on oblivious. But I got the feeling that silence was strategic to fuck me over later. It was stiff and she made some facial expressions that was like “And you say…okay, whatever”. I mean I was admitting I was wrong while arguing and there’s no way I was dignifying that notpology.
So, the game plan is just to distance myself and put up boundaries. She was only here a few minutes and with Little One home I wasn’t going to drag it out. Mom’ll be back Monday when LO is in school so I’ll bring it then. It also gives me time to plan it out since she fucking interrupts, changes subjects, and twists things around on me so much.
That pattern I talked about earlier? Totally filled that in while recouping today. I must’ve asked Roomie “Do you remember this time…” dozens of times throughout the day. He was just really sad and thought I’d actually realized what was going on since I’ve talked to him about such things, just not referencing my mother. He just thought I really loved her and thought the relationship was worthwhile. Which explains why he’s been so cold and distant to her though they don’t ever speak except hellos and goodbyes.
Now I’m just mad at myself mostly. I know I shouldn’t be for a host of reasons, like being primed since 5 to accept such abuse, but my feelings aren’t cooperating logically. I thought naively at first that just getting away from abusive fuckers was enough but damn, they really do train you to continue on their behalf. And now it’s happening all over again. I felt so damn bad that my first thought was “oh fuck, not her.”
————————————–
Speaking of books (it’s waaay in the beginning, we’re looping here, okay?), there’s this #We Need Diverse Books Campaign that I found recently. I’ve reviewed and blogged about books including social justice issues and aiming for diverse content. I haven’t been doing that lately though (that’s an understatement) and am so glad to see this happening. I’ve made note of books to read, added to the list Pharyngula helped kick off, and I’m actually really excited to start up again. Not right this second, but I’m now working out plans of how to come back and re-launch. Because, when I started I was really…cowardly and now I wanna be like “This is what I stand for. Don’t like it? Then fuck off.”
Oh, and I forgot who it was but I remember talking about e-readers here recently. I said that I was pretty sure Nook was getting out the of e-reader business based on various reports. Then I got an email about this: New Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 Nook. It’s a tablet, not an e-reader but they aren’t out of the game completely yet. I’d love it if they really updated the Nook Glow Light. That thing is awesome but sadly dated already.
JAL:
I had rather the same reaction as your roomie upon reading that. WTF?! ‘Most’ of it? How about *all* of it…plus some!
I’ve read a lot of comments from you in the years I’ve been at Pharyngula. I’ve never thought of you as cowardly. The words I would use to describe you are strong, determined, loving, compassionate, honest, passionate.
All the hugs to you JAL.
Whitewashing in Hollywood
Tony
Aw, thank you. But I started the book reviewing like three years ago and purposefully avoided saying I’m an atheist or feminist when such issues came up within books because of the reaction I might get from people. (To be fair, there’s also been issues with rabid fans and authors going after reviewers personally harassing them as well. I’ve had brushes with such things but not targeted thankfully.) I was so uncomfortable saying such things outside Pharyngula at the time. Not so much anymore, so it sure feels cowardly re-reading what I wrote.
Here’s a short video of our dachshund playing with a rope. Sorry about the shaky bits.
Also, here’s some sweet and happy: Idina Mendez (Elsa from Frozen) tweeting her fans
Also, Anna is Veronica Mars (SHHHH!) and there’s a book set 10 years after the TV series ending that I just found out about.
The majestic horse. (Should amuse fans and foes alike.)
So, yeah, my “curry base” is actually a slightly mangled version of this.
Also, I realized I have something else. Peanut butter.
I like where this is going..
Dalillama
cute doggie
That looong tail is how dachshunds really look?
(Whatever movie is playing in the background provided some amusing narration.)
…I keep posting at awkward times. :(
chigau
That’s the usual length, AFAIK. It’s MASH in the background (one of the episodes, not the movie)
Azkyroth
Doesn’t seem any more of a non-sequitur than the last few comments.
Rename your household items, just like this!
…aren’t those the literal translations of their names in German?
CaitieCat
Whoops, was that a genuine “please ask afore putting avatars up” or were you joking about it cos it’s a kitty pic? Or did I put a pic up by accident somewhere else?
Glad I’m not the only no-pepper (no hot stuff at all) person around.
Anne, Old Gumbie Cat – ::waves:: Hiya! Nice to bump into people from ‘tother site!
::waves generally at Loungers old and new:: Thanks for the welcomes, all!
Brony
@ 2kittehs
Awwwwww… Kitties “helping”. My cat is trying to “help” while I look for jobs to apply to.
I can well imagine ::shudder::. I’m glad Mads doesn’t get on the keyboard. For one thing, there wouldn’t be a lot of room for her. Small she ain’t.
JAL,
I am so, so sorry you’ve such a dreadful parent. Kitty hugs if they’re welcome.
cicely
::deep sigh:: I have never read a better description. Don’t I wish I’d had that to show my CA friend who said I have a “timid palate”!
David Marjanović
Take our coming summer, pleeeeease! I don’t need it. ::clings desperately to cool weather::
Azkyroth
I was going to say gentlepersons to cover all the humans, but gentlecritters is much better.
That Eye of Argon … my mouth was like this ∩ reading it. No, I’d never heard of it, either.
But the muddy doggies, all the cute!
Morgan,
That’s seriously fucked up. I’m sorry your friend and his girlfriend can’t meet, I suppose him travelling to Ukraine is out of the question with the unrest there?
Generally, I don’t understand why the requirement for a certain amount of cash when crossing the border is still on the books. Most people use credit cards these days, for one thing. And the limit is usually ridiculous anyway. If you’re staying with someone, you may not need much money, or you just need a bit of cash for a sandwich before getting to your destination (job/family/friends/…).
So I’ve learned a word or two in some of the languages of my students. Like the Nepali word for “owl” (latokosero), the Arabic word for “apple” (tifaaHah) and the Somali word for…. “cockroach” (barambaro). The latter because of the occasional presence of the damn things in the classroom and the danger they pose to the hijabi women who wear a lot of flowing layers that can be scurried into.
*shudders at the thought of a cockroach crawling up and hiding in someone’s clothes only to be discovered much later.
Here are those words in Urdu if you’re interested:
Owl: ullu
Apple: saib
Cockroach: laal beg (also the name of one of India’s disadvantaged castes, because you know, people are jerks)
Changing perception, one work of art at a time.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supertaster
Sorry for the general absence, loves.
RL, & all, what with the grandparents in town.
Plus some law-school related drama. Plus lots of sleeping from broken rib – which is going pretty well now, thanks.
I’ll probably return to more extended posting habits sometime in early Sep, but this weekend I’ll be gone and next week may still be hit & miss.
Stacking hugs here, leaving chocolate on this nice tray here, and warming the water in the kettle for any who need tea.
@cicely #155
I don’t get it.
@gog, #201:
You have strayed from Cicelyan orthodoxy in your appreciation for horses. And peas. I can’t remember on the cheese front, honestly.
cicely is expressing displeasure at your failure to embrace the obviously correct personal preferences.
Beware, or the Popular Front of Cicely may target you as a splitter.
gog:
Also, it’s tongue in cheek. The whole questionnaire is a thing of whimsy.
BTW, I subscribe to Lounge comment, so I get them sent to my email as you all make them. Your gravatar in the Lounge is different from your gravatar in email updates (it’s a snake in the email updates). I wonder why that is.
hmm.
Sssussspissshousssssss, it isssss.
rabidwombat:
I stumbled upon this image of a wombat on Facebook, which made me think of your nym.
This thread goes so fast…hard to keep up with folks.
I could have sworn I saw a fellow beader post earlier, and I cannot find the blurb. I own a bead store in Michigan, and would love to cyber connect with other atheist beaders. Do not believe there are many of us.
Very rabid-looking, Tony!. Very rabid.
annie55:
Not sure if you’re familiar with the term, but ‘threadrupt’ or ‘rupt’ is the state of being far behind in keeping up with the Lounge. It’s a state many people find themselves in bc y’know meatspace keeps people occupied.
(I don’t have that problem bc my job hasn’t kicked in. Hopefully I’ll be threadrupt more often this time next month).
Hi, annie55, I’m a beader, among my other interests. Nice to meet you!
I’m heading out on me-errands, for a change. Back later, keep the kettle hot for me.
Hi Anne…backatcha…bead embroidery is my latest obsession….right angle weave kicks my ass, and just now stocked the “superdouos.”
I’m not big on doing the whole preserves thing, but day-um, I make a reasonably good salsa.
Also, here’s my cheesecake recipe (Morgan, for you!).
Caveat: it is not for losing weight. It contains, well, you’ll see. :) But it’s delicious. Measurements will be mostly a mix of grams and cups, because that’s how I operate.
So, preheat your oven! Something around 140 or 150 should do (Celsius, please!). Not too hot.
Butter-and-flourdust the cakepan and set aside (sometimes, instead of flour, I grind some nuts and dust with that).
Crust:
about 50 – 60 g butter (melted)
1/2 cup flour (can substitute half of that for cocoa, if want a chocolate base)
1/2 cup assorted ground nuts (by preference)
1/2 cup sugar (I think)
assorted spices (best results with cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, ginger, black pepper)
– Mix everything to get a nice, wet-sand consistency and adjust flavours at will, and press into whichever pan you plan on using (I use a regular sized (24cm diameter?) metal pan with removable sides because that’s the only one I have that’s suitable.
* can press up sides if enough crusty mix, but not necessary
Innards:
Basic goo (everything x2 because it’s marble and you need the two batches):
1 package (200 g) Philadelphia (non-low-fat) cream cheese
1 package (~200g) mascarpone or ricotta cheese (can be subbed with more Philly, but I don’t recommend subbing the other way because it just doesn’t taste the same, ya know?)
1 egg (large, if you have them)
1/4 cup sugar, with option to adjust (oh, when I say ‘sugar’, I mean non-white raw sugar – it just tastes better – but I have used sugar syrups like molasses, too – haven’t tried maple syrup, though that sounds delish)
1 tablespoon cream of wheat (if not added, the cake will not lose any of its taste, but it will do a souffle thing in the oven and then fall flat)
1/2 to 1 cup [stuff]
– Mix everything with electric blender because mixing by hand is a bore.
Stuff:
For chocolate layer:
1 150g bar semi-dark or dark chocolate, melted
about 1/2 cup sour cream or plain yoghurt
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
* can add sugar
– Mix everything with whisk, fork, spoon, or fingers, for all I care.
For lemon-lime-ginger layer:
juice of 1 lime, plus zest
juice of 1 lemon, plus zest
1 1-inch-cube of fresh ginger, grated
about 1/2 cup sour cream or plain yoghurt
*can add sugar (actually I recommend it, due to the sourness of lemon and lime)
– Mix everything as above.
– Prepare large baking pan with water, in which you will place your cake pan with pressed-in crusty part (make sure cake pan will sit flat).
– Pour in layers (into cakepan, on top of crust!!) in whichever order you choose, can swirl, can just layer.
– Place into water bath, then oven.
– Bake for about 35 to 45 minutes, but it’s not that important, since once that time is up, all you will do is turn the oven off and leave the cake in there to cool slowly with the oven.
– Once the oven has cooled, remove cake from water bath and place on a surface that will let water run off, let cool to room temperature.
– At room temperature, can remove cake sides to let extra water run off.
– Refrigerate overnight, decorate and EAT.
And that’s it. It’s a long process with all the cooling, but if the cooling occurs too rapidly, it’s just not the same. Plus the overnight refrigeration just makes the texture just so.
I feel like I’m forgetting something, but I’m pretty sure I got everything.
[stuff] can be replaced with anything, as long as the amount is similar. I have squashed raspberries and mixed them with whipping cream and added that, I have just added a touch of vanilla to sour cream and added that, so the [stuff] part is completely free to improvise. I just know the chocolate/chili part works so well for some reason. And the real trick is the proper cooling. Unfortunately, it can’t be rushed.
Or, if you’re like me and think that is far too much work, just go to the store and buy a pre-made cheesecake :)
Saad (#197)
According to the dictionary, Nepali also uses ullu for owl, but the particular word the students taught me was latokosero.
Ew, that’s horrible. The word in formerly caste-conscious Japan isn’t assholish, at least. Gokiburi means an insect that “devours the serving bowl” (ie. as well as the leftover food). It used to be gokikaburi, but the “ka” was lost due to a mistake by the writer of a late 19th century glossary of animals.
Ahh, but Tony, a store-bought one just doesn’t contain all the love.
rq
Huge thanks! I already see how I need to tweak this. It reminds me of my grandmother’s recipes. No precision at all. This is going to be grand fun. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
O wow O wow O wow that sounds fabulous, rq. About to copy-paste for future reference (dunno when, but I so have to try this sometime. I just won’t tell anyone what’s in it until they’ve tried it, because otherwise I’ll get such silly objections …. :-D )
I performed copy/pasta on the cheesecake recipe. Thank you.
Mum and I just spent an hour and a half choosing birthday presents for a one-year-old and a ten(ish)-year-old (relatives we don’t see often, and neither of us can remember the older one’s age).
First, the store is a horror. All the border games? Under boys’ section. *RRRAAAAGE*
We ended up with: puzzle with 1000 pieces for the older one
A dinosaur (Littlefoot from The Land Before Time), sippy cup and socks with cute little strawberries for the little one.
I hope that is age appropriate.
We’re both exhausted.
opposablethumbs
You can even substitute the chili for a clove of grated garlic and nobody will ever notice – in fact, notorious non-chocolate eaters will gobble it up. I speak from experience. ;)
Morgan
Do let me know how it works out for you, since this is my already-tweaked recipe, and, like any experiment, I hope results are similar to mine!
Tony
One day, you too will realize the beauty and grace in (occasionally) putting in the effort yourself. ;) (But I have to say, store-bought? Mmmmm… Trouble is, it’s hard to get the right kind of cheesecake here, I know of two places in the entire country that do it right, so I have to do it myself. And everyone loves it. ;) )
Depression Quest
This made me cry a few times, but I’m really glad I played it. I found it to be a very realistic portrayal of depression as I’ve experienced it (which is especially nice since so often little dark thoughts make it seem as though this is an experience that only I, the eternally broken, have). YMMV.
Yes, and Golden October was skipped.
There are journals that take a year between acceptance of a manuscript and publication. The one I’m having in mind for submitting to* is quite unlikely to do that, but don’t stow the flamethrower away just yet. :-þ
* Ponder the semantics.
Someone please smuggle this into an etymological dictionary as a case of s mobile.
A Nile from heaven.
:-D
Mellow Monkey:
From your link to Depression Quest-
Light bulb just went off.
All of that describes me, multiple times a week for the last several years.
The Mellow Monkey,
I’m on limited data now, but I’ll definitely try that game.
I’m currently not even sure whether I am or have ever been depressed.,.. maybe I was just taking myself too seriously or looking for things that are wrong about me. Now that things are going well, I feel better, which would mean I used to be unhappy and not depressed. I don’t know. Maybe this helps me get an idea.
Beatrice:
Those two things aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive. You could have been unhappy *and* depressed. I suspect I have been for a very long time.
Elbow end of an upper-arm bone shows the presence of a really, really big frog closely related to this in the mid-late Eocene (some 40–45 Ma ago) of “southernmost Chile”. It’s probably quite a bit bigger than Beelzebufo. It’s probably also noticeably bigger than the extant goliath frog (Conraua goliath) – which is, bizarrely, not mentioned once in the entire paper!
A Paleocene tuatara from Argentina. That was a surprise. And given that it’s a new species of Kawasphenodon, I’m really disappointed they didn’t call it “K. inexpectatus” because the previously known species is called K. expectatus! Instead, it’s called K. peligrensis based on where it was found. Meh.
Like cats, birds lack the receptor for sweet taste, even though crocodiles (or anyway the Chinese alligator) retain it. So, how do hummingbirds work? They’ve tweaked the umami receptor. Paper, “Perspectives” article. Fun fact mentioned in both: giant pandas retain the receptor for sweet taste, but have lost the one for umami. Further fun fact mentioned in the paper: hummingbirds are tricked by some artificial sweeteners, but not by aspartame.
A smackdown of arguments from ignorance.
Ecce homo.
(And now the Mr Bean theme song is my earworm.)
@ cicely 148
Thanks for the insights! I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to be wordy because more than one person with ADHD might be around and I need to do the annoying thing and qualify things, and I’m hoping that others have some ideas.
While I’m trying to use the research and what I know from others with ADHD to figure out “what it is” so I can manipulate it or my environment, it has to be hypothetical and tentative because of the status of the research. I don’t want to be one of those people that makes big pronouncements about the research without being honest about the fact that he’s just doing what he can with what is currently available and has to “do something”. The problems with evolutionary psychology involve people who either don’t talk to the ones with the mental phenomena they are studying and make casual pronouncements, or they have the phenomena and pretend that their manifestation is like everyone else’s. The only way out of that is to let each other person you meet add to your model until the average starts showing through.
*That research on mice might break down in relation to humans in different ways. It might not transmit in sex specific manner. It might not travel more than one generation. The nicotine effect might only occur during utero. It’s still a risk factor but not a casual factor so nurture can make things more or less likely (like maybe some family military history or “ADHD culture” which I have seen in more than one help book and matches my family). Transgenerational inherited changes are (epigenetics) really a part of human nature (even if this one is still murky) and one of the things that makes it harder to pin down causes is that the events that lead to a particular change that can become propagated by culture might have started generations back and just gotten reinforced after that.
*There are lots of environmental exposures that have been statistically linked to increased chances of ADHD. Various pesticides, lead compounds.
*Nutritional deficiencies, family adversity, maternal stress, and low income. Such people are likely to be more stressed and stress simplifies responses into more intense versions often, some people get more combative and the system might use stress to make you better at it perceptually. I realize this might get sensitive but I’m including myself in here and I do have a carefully managed combative nature (I’ve also strategically thought of how such a possible reality might be abused by others).
I’m going to do another annoying thing and push us away from “combat ape” because that was a means to describe one way that the system that is associated with ADHD might function, and create a way to see how the experience of it might make sense. It is going to be used in other contexts and I wish we knew more about them, it’s just that I think that the possible association with that mode of life is one of the easier ways to try to figure out what that system might look like. Ideally we will figure out what it is, name it in perceptual terms, and people will eventually get to figure out where they are on a spectrum or scale of human possibility. “Combat ape” can be morphed into “conflict ape” and all of the sudden I might have different abilities when it comes to social conflict online. Those emotions that get used with combat still apply to every bit of internet drama and disagreement in communities and I can see them in ways that are very interesting to say the least.
My current frustration involves figuring out how to do that in a science context. I have some ideas.
Note to non-ADHD folks: these will sound familiar. That is because like many other cognitive differences ADHD will remind you of things that bother you too. The difference is that in these conditions the problem is modified by some variable (like intensity) that sets us apart as a population and while these similarities can be useful for empathy purposes, we often get gaslighted by people that “Oh! I have that problem too!” which becomes a good excuse to reject accommodations or keep pretending that we are really the same as everyone else in some way.
*Scheduling, records, calendars, timers and other external “forcing strategies”. I have used some of these already but I need to work them in far more than I was.
*Methods and routines to make sure I have the entire context for whatever project, experiment or anything else I am working on in my head and research efforts. Letting a detail slip is a more common problem and I got chewed out more than once for leaving out a control or missing a critical citation I should have read.
*Get tested for reading problems and find solutions to increase my ability to pull what I need out of papers fasters. Colored overlays seem to help some groups with reading comprehension (including Tourette’s). I’m a lot better at being able to underline all the most important bits and things like presentations at lab meetings made me improve here.
*More rationally designed routines. Routine helps prevent error. A lot of this is dependent on a real job though.
It’s a place that I am very anxious about because the situation is very serious at multiple levels. I honestly believe that ADHD, Tourette’s, Autism, Schizophrenia, OCD and other things we currently call disorders and diseases are in fact archetypal cognitive modes (things like depression would be an archetypal instinctual mood reaction to the environmental stress and similar, I think Tourette’s might be a “patterns and rules ape”). At some point when you screen for genes and you have dozens to hundreds of possibilities and few rise close to high significance, one has to admit that they are looking at a system with variable settings in the human population. Is the human race destined to only let people of certain heritage into some professions and create a caste system? Or do we find ways of including all the cognitive types in our groups so that we have all the ways of looking at our problems covered? People complain of psychopaths in politics and economics, what sort of people are being concentrated in law enforcement? We need the “details ape” (best I can do with autism and ocd, I welcome changes to my perspective) and other additions to our groups with an awareness of our respective deficits and excesses. For me there is a sense in which I think I can mentally let the details drop away and wrap my mind around whatever most important basic principles are relevant to a situation. That has to be valuable but forcing change on the structures we have now is hard, and there are so many of us trying to do this in many other areas while we fight this human need to pretend we are all the same in many areas.
RE:Frogs.
I want to catch a bullfrog. Those things are hard to catch but,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVT8-Jgb8lo
@The Mellow Monkey 164
“they”, “their”, “them” is what I have been settling on myself. I still find myself slipping from time to time but it’s been useful to get gender out of my language as much as possible. It has had the nice effect of letting me see the gender assumptions all over the place as I get used to the change. It’s not only efficient (that it “sounds bad” is the worst I hear) but adds to my perceptual filters as I pay attention to how others are using the words. Quite useful our perceptual systems are when we allow ourselves to look at another perspective.
@Portia
Yay for happy evenings!
@JAL180
Don’t worry about the confusion. It’s confusing for me to get “crazy” brain issues across so I don’t really have a place to criticize even if I wanted to. Getting emotions out to community lets you put them in objective form where you can look at them outside of yourself. You replace the storm with a copy outside of yourself that you can look at by yourself, or with a community that will take you seriously like this one (which totally justifies FTB’s approach to the internet harasser apologists). Expressive writing is correlated with mental health,
http://www.intelihealth.com/article/the-mental-health-benefits-of-expressive-writing?hd=Minding
…and I’m sure the community aspect can help too because who else did our ancestors express at? (which segues into art and…). People online lashing out at emotional expression are often predators with a social purpose. Protected communities matter.
@Tony166
I’ve noticed that every group often has to watch themselves when they get closer to the equal treatment that they deserve. The instinctual emotional states that helped while they were more oppressed and marginalized can either produce bad unintended effects, or new social filters that are needed to prevent themselves from becoming what they hated have to be created. Kaveh Mousavi had a piece on this (also see how Israel is currently acting).
freethoughtblogs.com/marginoferr/2014/08/21/ideological-persecution-complex-and-gambling-on-the-oppressed
@183
That link is infuriating.
@Azkyroth
Peanut/curry/coconut dishes are a weakness. You are mean ;)
In fact this whole room is nutritionally dangerious.
annie55, I’m more of a sew-beads-onto-things beader – I just finished beading over the patch on a baseball cap and the embroidered logo on another, with 15° seed beads. I don’t think I’ll try that again for a while, my hands can’t take it.
I don’t think I could work in a bead store; I’d have to buy All The Shiny Things!
Hugs for all of you trying to fight the Black Dog, or the Big Black Cloud, or whatever form your depression takes. I’m trying to fight mine again; for my 60th birthday later this year, I’m going to attempt to dump the accumulation of bad self-images I’ve collected over the years, thanks to my parents and my ex, not to mention the occasional snotty remark from mean girl store clerks. Seriously, making remarks about a customer’s appearance while she’s still in the store and can hear you? Not cool.
Brony:
When you catch it, what are your plans?
To hug it, pet it, and call it George?
Brony
Just to clarify: You mean you’re using “they” for other people, or it’s your preferred pronoun for yourself?
When people speak about me, I prefer them to use gender neutral pronouns. “He” was almost tolerable at times when I was presenting as a man, but it never felt quite right. “She” usually makes me do a double-take. I normally don’t correct people, though, because of fear. Fear that I’ll just come off as some sort of wannabe special snowflake, fear of negative reactions, fear that people will ignore my requests, fear that people will be hurt and feel as though I’ve judged them poorly for the correction.
If English would just kindly change itself so it could easily avoid references to my gender at all, that’d be swell. Since that’s not happening, I’d rather be they than he or she when people have to refer to me.
Interact with it for a little while and let it go. I’ve been like this since I was a kid and my wife and I jokingly call it “Elmyra Syndrome”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxvzEfI0BFU
Just about any sort of critter is tempting. I like to handle wolf spiders and jumping spiders. (not me but I would do this)
How did I embed that?
@ The Mellow Monkey
I try to use it universally because I really want to take differences into account but I’m still not very good at figuring out when to use what pronoun on who. I also keep meeting people from lots of the groups that are concerned with pronouns as a group that don’t want to change or don’t care and it get hard for me to be specific enough so I resort to gender-neutral as a result. I’m not sure what I do for myself in text (so it will be interesting when I go through some posts) but I guess I basically still see myself as “he” emotionally, but intellectually and emotionally on a level I’m still figuring out gender shatters into lots of social “algorithms” or “context-specific behaviors” that often don’t go along with sex when I think about the people I meet and what I read. I’m really careful about it as a result because I have a tendency towards stronger and simpler language based on implicit knowledge in some ways (which is probably why I write so much so that I provide enough context).
But yeah, we need all the right words for all the things that really exist. It seems like a simple enough request but…
:D
Frogs in general are awesome to handle. Still haven’t brought myself to handle arachnids of various forms, though I’m perfectly alright with insects of all kinds.
Brony,
Maybe it has something to do with you being evil?!
OMG I’m never going to sleep again what if that monster spider sneaks up on me?!?!?!
Khm. I’m fine. No need to worry. I’m not phobic, just a bit wary of spiders.
Why does the Chess Olympiad have an open team and a women’s team?
:facepalm:
@Tony! #203
I’m using Facebook to login, so I think the WordPress plugin makes the Facebook profile picture take precedence. I don’t know that much about it, but at least I know now that the one that I had set before indeed works. Maybe I should just make an FtB account instead of using Our Social Networking Overlord’s OpenID service.
@Cicely: my pro-horse and pea-neutral stance will not change! You’re just trying to indoctrinate me and make me tow the anti-pea agenda! You intellectuals and academics are all after my freedom!
Portia, I’m glad you got to go to your “happy place”.
:)
–
*hugs* for JAL.
“Most of” what she said earlier.
Fuck that noise.
You don’t have to be like her “when you grow up”.
It takes awareness, and more effort than the easy, like-falling-off-a-log path of least resistance, but it can be done.
I Am Anecdata. So is one of my sisters. The other sister took that “easy” route.
That’s two out of three.
–
A. Noyd:
A Horse, playing with a giant pea? Or, maybe, communing with a giant pea? Is that the ur-pea, the physical manifestation of pea-ness? How deep is this iniquity???
–
2kittehs:
Feel free to nick it! Just sorta file off the serial numbers, give it a quick lick of paint….
:D
–
gog:
It’s all right.
I was just riffing on Monty Python and the Holy Grail, in the wake of my previous comment on the pretti nasti-ness of Hørse bites.
*looking around furtively, and whispering*
[A bit, in other words, as with the Horse-slamming in general.
(Don’t tell anyone, ‘kay.)]
[I’m totes serious about the peas, though.]
[Maybe.]
(Later)
Your freedom is safe from me! Why, there are any number of Pharyngulites whose pea-loving, Horse-infested ways have not yet caused me to reach for the *napalm!*…or at least…there are no living witnesses to the contrary.
*Duhn-duhn-duuuuuuuuh!*
;)
–
annie55, I play about with beads…but am prohibited from buying any more beads until I’ve made a significant dent in the supply I’ve accumulated since…hmmm…’81? ’82? Somewhen like that.
*moar furtive around-looking and whispering*
[Does your store have an on-line presence?]
–
Brony, wordiness is just fine (though maybe put more “breaks” between paragraphs?). And who can afford to wait until the Definitive Word is pronounced, when faced with How Things Are?
One of my problems with epigenetics (to the admittedly limited extent that I understand the subject) is that, if environmental factors do transmit in a meaningful way to the behavior of subsequent generations, how do you tell? Successive potential generational layers of paternally-transmitted factors, successive potential generational layers of maternally-transmitted factors, call me dense as well as ignorant, but how the hell can you possibly unweave all of that? I dunno.
Reading problems can certainly be a factor. Brother1 is ADD, with slight dyslexia that gets worse as he gets tired. Did not help him in the classroom!
Or maybe “specializations that it’s useful for a group to have.” Maybe include far-sightedness (because it’s good that someone spots that distant dust cloud) and near-sightedness (because it’s also good that someone be able to see small details, for instance when chipping tools) in that assessment? And bad news for the group, if everyone is near-sighted, for instance.
–
A. Noyd #213,
Languages rock. I could have been trilingual if I hadn’t stopped French in my 2nd year of college. What languages do you speak?
If anyone wants some linguistic fun (also immature laughs) google-translate ‘sharp knife’ from English into Latvian.
Dear Thor tell me this isn’t for real:
http://nypost.com/2014/08/18/enough-sanctimony-ladies-catcalls-are-flattering/
“NO ASS FOR YOU!” D: D: D:
Abortion poll.
Saad @ 233:
I sooooo wanted that to say “cheese olympiad”!
woah, what? That link got jacked up.
http://www.cleveland.com/open/index.ssf/2014/08/what_should_ohios_role_be_in_r.html#incart_river
abortion poll again
@ Beatrice
No one told me about the demonic powers…hmmmmmm…
@ cicely
I don’t mind formatting in an easier form so thank you. Let me know how I do. I tend to dump a lot of links so I never assume that anyone will read everything. It’s just there if you want it.
The picture is confusing for good reasons, it’s the cutting edge of what we are excited with now and lots of people will be pointing to it for lots of reasons. We know the phenomena exists. We know that it exists in humans. We have lots of interesting details in animals.
How do we tell? I can give you a simple example and try to apply it to humans. In mice once again we see an interesting effect where if you train some mice to associate a smell with fear, you can see that their descendents will also respond to the small with fear.
http://www.nature.com/news/fearful-memories-haunt-mouse-descendants-1.14272
These responses were paired with changes to the brain structures that process odours. The mice sensitized to acetophenone, as well as their descendants, had more neurons that produce a receptor protein known to detect the odour compared with control mice and their progeny. Structures that receive signals from the acetophenone-detecting neurons and send smell signals to other parts of the brain (such as those involved in processing fear) were also bigger.
The essential pattern is that cells and brain structures involved in detecting that chemical and tying it to rear responses were changed by the experience in a way that was mirrored in parts of the sex cells that are responsible for the development of those structures. This is done via specific types of modifications that control if and how much genes are expressed.
The modifications are lots of things like acetylations of histones (the proteins that wrap up DNA like spools), and methylations of CG pairs on DNA. What gets called “interfering RNA” or “microRNA” is also involved (they work to break down the RNA copies of genes).
So the way we will know is when we can tie different sorts of modification patterns*, to different sorts of defined changes in anatomy**, that produce defined behavioral changes***.
Here is a good example that gets into some of the details with respect to exposure to famine.
http://ehp.niehs.nih.gov/121-a298/
*For anyone that likes to play with the real thing. Tools, databases, etc…
http://epigenie.com/epigenetic-tools-and-databases/
**If I were running a lab looking at epigenetic effects in Tourette’s Syndrome I would be looking at this general phenomena.
” Decreased number of parvalbumin and cholinergic interneurons in the striatum of individuals with Tourette syndrome.”
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19941350
I have a ~50% reduction of two classes of inhibitory interneurons in one of the major structures involved in habit, learning, routine and other ways of tying triggers in perception to learned responses. This results in a global “hair trigger” in terms of all sorts of physical and emotional responses, urges, reactions, and similar phenomena. I would try to tie these anatomical changes to gene regulation alterations, and then look for patterns of epigenetic modification of those genes. At that point one could then think about trying to tie such modifications to various “modes of life”.
***”Genetic Biomarker Identified That May Predict Suicide Risk”
http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertglatter/2014/08/09/genetic-biomarker-identified-that-may-predict-suicide-risk/
Describes gene methylation changes that have been correlated with suicidal ideation.
Mellow Monkey:
Wow. Depression Quest really hits close to home.
faehnrich:
I voted for this answer, and it is leading right now.
Abortion is recognized as a protected right that the state should not be infringing upon. 54.42% (123 votes)
I missed a bit, oops.
@ cicely
Good point. “Cognitive mode” implies something that can be changed during a lifetime. Some of these things can be changed to an extent, “early interventions” will help. Some of these things may be completely reversible. Some my not be able to be changed. We will be getting into social discussions about what we should change or what we should have to change.
But you are getting at the sort of things I am talking about. They will be adjustable elements of how we interact with the world in terms of perceptions, what one more readily notices in perception, memory storage and retrieval, emotional priority…there are lots of potential places where we analyze, categorize, and interact with the world that might be adjustable. I can be hard to control ones imagination at times.
Brony:
Oh, hell yeah.
The word-of-the-moment is….
Hit-Monkey.
What a dazzling notion! Just now mentioned to me from the Marvel context, and now the entire back of my mind is riffing on it. Morphing it. Making it my own.
Hey, PC’s—guess what’s for dinner this game session!
*fiendish grin*
More seriously—’cause I r a srs person—night-time imagination of Disasters That May Come. There’s some seriously high-octane anxiety, right there. And I know I’m not the only one here that does this.
–
Tony! – Yeah, it does. I’ve played it through a couple of times now. The fact that avoiding talking to your mother about how depressed you are is easier than dealing with her reaction to your depression is sad, and yet terribly accurate for a lot of people.
It’s limited since the main character is sort of generically vague (has a job that pays all the bills, no explicit references to sexual orientation, gender, race, disabilities other than depression, physical illnesses, etc) and thus sidesteps a lot of things that make the struggle harder, but it still rang true in many places.
How many people did police in Japan shoot and kill last year? Zero. How many deaths from police shootings can we tally from Britain? Zero. How many from Germany? Eight. How many from the USA? 409.
Tony, #245:
I chose the same. I don’t see why we can’t choose this answer along with it though:
Clinics need to be regulated for safety but no more so than other ambulatory surgical centers.
Sure, it’s a needless answer considering a clinic providing abortion would automatically fall under those regulations but it does form an answer to the question:
What role do you think should Ohio take toward regulating abortion?
I bet you many people who chose the “regulated for safety” answer also agree with the answer you and I chose. So really, I bet our answer is leading by much more than 51.04%.
cicely @148
Love the Monty Python quotes. I watch the movie about once a year along with my other fave.
“What can you make of this?”
“I can make a hat, a broach, a pterodactyl. Eeee. Eeee. Eeee.”
Any guesses as to what it is?
The simplest answer is because it lets the Rat Fucks get a foot in the door by pretending they’re only trying to make sure women are safe.
Oh yeah, the same as the “keep your kids safe during those protests, black people” response. I would have not included that option at all then to make the poll more meaningful.
faehnrich @242
Yep the trap laws are getting out of hand. Next they’ll expect the woman to do cartwheels before she can get one. They wait until there will be no more before they react. My heart goes out to those women in need of these services. It’s not right.
Wes Aaron
take-out pizza box
chigau 255
Unsure of what you mean, please elaborate.
Wes Aaron
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WFWTBlEooFU
pterodactyl
@ cicely
I’m afraid that I am missing the reference and am curious.
Yeah, there is more than one paper that I have thought contained implications that might result in a sort of “social justice thermonuclear device” in the right hands and with the right rhetoric. But the problem with big explosions is that they have all sorts of fall out and splash-damage…
also
Airplane
saad @250
Given that child birth is more dangerous than a proper medical abortion, why are women allowed to give birth in places that aren’t ambulance ready? The reality is that trap laws are there to prevent women from exercising their right to abortion. Just like the law that they must get a hospital referral just to get the procedure it makes abortions unnecessarily costly and difficult. So when they claim it’s for the woman’s safety I need better reasons, because in modern day Brazil where the death rate of illegal abortions in 10% vs .08% medical abortion, there is no way that is safer, but what choice is the woman left with? Or to put numbers to it if the 6 million performed in the US annually abortions have a fatality rate of 4800 vs 60,000 to illegally have an abortion, then there is no excuse even for the woman’s safety to do this.
chigau @259
Yep it is definitely. Airplane!
Wes Aaron:
I’ve been meaning to ask: what is your gravatar pic?
I think it’s a bunny.
Ahriman
Had so much fun with the table top game 40K that the characters of the armies I played have stuck with me through the years.
http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Ahriman
2kittehs, no, not your gravatar, the thread-header pic, of a cat. I was making a joke about my name, and that the thread-header pic was at least a good shot of me, even if used without permission. :)
Wes #260:
When I read “clinics need to be regulated for safety” I interpreted that to mean the same standards of safety that are in place in procedure rooms for colonoscopies, cataract surgeries, and gynecologic procedures such as endometrial ablation. i.e. regulations determined by the medical field, not moron politicians. For instance, rooms with positive pressure, limits on particulate count in the air, sterility requirements, protocols in place for if things go wrong, etc.
I actually work in a same day surgery center, so maybe that’s why I naturally interpreted that to mean what I did.
Oh yeah. When I posted this above,
That was more of a general thing and I don’t have a reason to think that this would happen around here. I’m inclined to believe that this group would be fine comparing experiences without replacing them with one’s own inappropriately.
Hey all, Gravatar is the only way to custom the avatar here, right?
saad
I completely understand the need for the facilities to be clean and fully agree they should be up to standard. I’m just drawing a line when they start to say that clinics must have an ambulance bay or that the doctors on have to also be on staff with a local hospital to be able to perform abortions.
I off to get more ink, and yes I do make sure they’re a clean facility.
Good day all.
For lessons in the obscure and the abstract, see chigau.
Also, brevity.
Bunnies.
It’s Friday night, I’m a little drunk and just watched a stupid movie that could have been a really good one. Weird.
Wes #269,
Oh yeah, I agree. Those other requirements are bollocks.
rq #270,
World War Z?
rq @270: David Lynch’s Dune? Any of Peter ‘Ratbag’ Jackson’s LotR films?
Also, google.lv commemorates 25 years of the Baltic Way. If you do not know what that is, please google. Seriously. It’s still a symbol of my identity and who I am as a Latvian in the Baltics, even though I wasn’t there. Longest human chain, beautifully organized, wonderfully executed. The singing revolution.
Rob Grigjanis
Sadly, no. None of the above. Something called Invisible Signs. I don’t even know what their point was, since they missed all the obvious ones. Bad acting. Too much beer. Ech.
Rob Grigjanis:
Peter ‘Ratbag’ Jackson? Why the ‘Ratbag’?
awakeinmo @ 268
The avatars are a complete mystery to me. It grabs my avatar from my Facebook somehow even though I use Google+ to log in and my G+ doesn’t even have a profile image on it.
Saad
Sorry missed your comment, no not that one, either. Still haven’t seen it, might, eventually. … Any good?
rq:
I just read up on the Baltic Way (per your recommendation). That’s amazing. Nearly 2 million people in a human chain. Damn. And the peaceful protest succeeded. That’s so awesome.
Seven of Mine:
Your gravatar is different here from what it is in email updates too. Huh.
While I’m thinking about it, if anyone is on Facebook, here’s my page if you want to friend request.
Is this what shows up in email updates?
Tony
To be fair, there was a lot more involved than just the peaceful protest. The Soviet Union was crumbling from the inside, then there were the Barricades in January ’91 (not so peaceful), but did it help to re-secure independence for Latvia and the other Baltic states? Yes.
Seven of Mine:
Yes, that’s the image.
Brony (#230)
You left a naked youtube link at the end of your comment without following it with anything. Gotta HTML-ify it or put something after it to keep it from autoembedding.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Saad (#236)
Besides English, just some Japanese. Like, I can read not-too-complicated novels if I have a dictionary in the other hand. (Reading is my best skill since I can practice it on my own so easily.) You’re bilingual in Urdu and English, I take it?
Tony @276: Because the films are ‘orrible, and ‘ratbag’ is the appropriate New Zealand word for someone who made them.
A. Noyd:
At first glance I read bilingual as biblical.
****
Rob Grigjanis:
Y U no ♥ King Kong?
A. Noyd,
That’s cool. I’m the other way with Urdu. I can read it, just a little slower than fluent people. My family moved to the U.S. when I was 11, so my reading/writing got a little rusty.
rq
Baltic Way was purely Awesome.
.
googling ‘google doodle latvia’ got me here
http://www.google.com/doodles/latvia-independence-day-2012
.
which made me think of this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ceinture_fléchée
.
Way cool, neh?
This is depressing. Googling for scientists with ADHD or Tourette’s is so easily confused with the people studying it that finding people is hard. The phrases with parentheses give me almost nothing. I have a little I can try to use to hunt people down. But now I’m feeling stalkery…
I think I’m going to contact various organizations next.
@Tony
For some reason I could not get a friend request option, but a yellow horse named Joshua said hi.
@A. Noyd
Awww…
I was hoping for demonic powers…
Rob Grigjanis
When you first started commenting here, I was an asshole to you.
I don’t think I ever apologiszed.
I am sorry.
If the opportunity ever arises, I will definitely buy you a lovely beverage.
Tony @287:
King Kong was alright, even with the odious presence of Jack Black. Heavenly Creatures was a lovely film, and The Frighteners was fun. He shoulda just kept his paws off of Tolkien. Mind you, if the films increased the readership, maybe he can be forgiven.
Saad #266:
*Personal (or rather for the Redhead question)*. The Redhead had “wheelchair” wound previously debrided a couple of weeks ago. Nobody tending the wound has complained since. If her extended care wound specialist thinks she needs more debridement, should she be likely to returned to her extended care facility the same day. or need to spend some time in the hospital?
chigau @292:
When I first started commenting here, I was an asshole*. I never held your response to me against you. No need for an apology, but it’s accepted wholeheartedly** anyway.
Double brandy, please.
*Still am, and hoping no-one notices.
**Wow. I can spell even when half-drunk. I think.
Saad (#288)
At least you didn’t lose it, though. Gaining or maintaining literacy in a minority language (that is, what becomes a minority language after immigrating) can be really tough.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Brony (#291)
Maybe it was demonic powers that made me misread where you said “Genetic Biomarker” as “Genetic Bonermaker.” (Or maybe it’s that part of my 12-year-old self never grew up.)
Nerd of Redhead #294:
Unfortunately, I can’t answer that with confidence. I’m the pharmacist for their procedures. I just deal with the drugs that make ’em go to sleep mostly. :)
Saad #297:
Been there, done that, thank you….
Animal Planet seeks its own ‘Sharknado’ with ‘Blood Lake’
This is just insulting:
No. The people living in Gaza are trying to survive while being bombed by Israel. It is offensive to take their everyday struggle for survival and turn it into a video game. One that trivializes what they’re going through to boot!
When it comes to TV owned by a possible RWA fuckwit, the evidence says perceived reality by the ingornanti will be sacrificed over scientific truth 15 days out of a fortnight….,
It is long past time for a sequel or remake of
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_of_the_Lepus
and/or
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frogs_(film)
Heavens!
No one has made a horror flick about drop bears?
WTF OZ & NZ?
Wes Aaron:
Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.
:)
–
Brony:
cicely
Too kind, too kind, I will! :D
caitiecat
Whew!
But that kitteh up the top is Mr Hadjijimjams … or possibly Cole The Black Cat … or Shorty … It’s the Fluffy Black Cat Hivemind!
*sigh*
Hail, <Borkquote>, Non-Gender-Specific Ruler of HTML Error-Making.
See how I sacrifice textual clarity for Thee!
–
Landlord fined for renting room that could only be entered on all fours
7 Documentaries You Can Stream Right Now To Better Understand What’s Going On In Ferguson
WMDKitty:
We’re still adding links to the Good morning, America thread if you wanted to put your link @308 there (it’s welcome here too, but I know a lot of people have been checking that thread for updates and new links).
Gorgeous image of a deep sea octopus for our squidly Overlord
Great Figures of the Men’s Rights Movement
Also, A) don’t read the comments and B) fuck sites that only implement comments through Facebook with an entire CostCo pack of razors. >.>
rq,
Watching the video you linked and reading about Baltic Way made me tear up a bit.
People.
You almost decide we’re collectively not worth the air we’re breathing, and then you see people stand together and do something like that.
Yay! We have a flushable toilet, having relied on buckets and the nearby supermarket for nearly a week! On monday, wife and I moved out of son’s flat in Edinburgh, to a small flat in Dunfermline, which will be our base in Scotland while (hopefully) we spend a couple of years abroad, once she lands a job teaching English. Unfortunately, we’d employed a complete incompetent* to refurbish the bathroom. He had promised it would be ready, but in fact, had made a complete dog’s breakfast** of the whole thing, and among other things, failed to reinstate the toilet and bath+shower. We got rid of him first thing on Wednesday, and have since been discovering ever-new depths to his idiocy – like using plaster-board unsuitable for a damp environment, beneath the tiles which his men had slapped on the wall anyhow. But we have now found a tiler and a plumber who (demonstrating a mixture of outrage and amusement at what the dolt had done) appear to be competent, and the latter rejigged the toilet yesterday evening. The bath and shower will take longer, as we first have to remove most of the numpty’s handiwork.
*Who came highly recommended on “MyBuilder”, one of those customer-feedback sites.
**Actually, I wouldn’t feed any dog of mine such a revolting mess.
Yay for progress, Nick! Hope the new [I want to say ‘artisans’ because ‘workers’ seems vaguely insulting and in Latvian we say ‘meistars’ but you know what I mean] do a good, solid and professionally (and personally to you) acceptable job of the bathroom.
Beatrice – and they put it to such dramatic music.
25 years later, our government is chaos and the social safety net is a joke and poverty and unemployment are rampant, but hey! ‘We did that cool thing once!’
There’s got to be some way to reach that point of unity and organization again.
chigau
Oooh, ceintures flechees! Definitely way cool. Here’s a few more traditional Latvian woven belts, though none compare to the illustrious Lielvārde belt, which is the longest, plus a non-repeating pattern, so you just have to know what comes next.
And, oh look, we do tartan, too. :)
The clothes maketh the woman. Or not, actually.
rq,
I was surprised by comments on her “I woke up like this” look. Tired? Ill? … Why? She doesn’t even have bags under her eyes. To me, she looked amazing in both those pictures.
HOLY FUCK RICHRD DAWKINS SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
Blogger said woman’s rights over own body extend to abortion even if fetus conscious & writing poetry in womb. I profoundly disagree. 1/2
That really would be murder most foul. I’m pro-choice precisely because (to the extent that) the fetus has no brain to be conscious with.
He could have at least mentioned me by name, rather than “a blogger”.
Well PZ, you could change the title of your blog to “A Blogger”. Might be like cutting off your nose to spite your face but would be nonetheless funny.
Just a sweet tweet:
Raquel E Saraswati @RaquelEvita 7h
Westboro cult talking about going to protest #ISIS in Iraq. Can we crowdsource the airfare? http://www.addictinginfo.org/2014/08/22/this-should-go-well-westboro-baptist-church-says-its-going-to-iraq-to-protest-isis/ …
It’s like he’s never heard the concept of Thomson’s violinist.
And wow, that post of PZ’s making the “writing poetry” comment is from two years ago. Was Richard so upset by that comment that it’s been stuck in his head this whole time?
Obviously, if Richard had a womb, he would gladly donate it to each and every fetus that might seek shelter there, and harbour them until they are capable of freeing themselves from the shackles of that disgusting umbilical cord that keeps them unwillingly chained to their selfish hosts. And he would forfeit all of his rights to any kind of bodily autonomy for the duration, and do it with a smile. Err, sorry, a smile would be emotion, yes? He would do it with cold, cutting logic and a rationale that defies empathy.
Because obviously, women’s bodies are signed over to little pre-human-beings as soon as that ovum pops out of its follicle and meets the first daredevil sperm of the rowdy bunch.
Or something.
*sigh*
Please, please, friends of Richard Dawkins, take his Twitter away from him!
carlie
Also, that ‘pro choice’ bit kind of suggests that he’s pro-choosing for the fetus (that is, making a decision for the pregnant person), not necessarily pro-a-uterized-person’s-right-to-choose.
Fine. If any fetus is ever discovered to be writing Lorca-level* poetry in the womb, I will become anti-abortion. You have it in writing here.
Aren’t stupid impossible hypotheticals just great? They make it so easy to feel superior to others, and obfuscate the fact that you are in fact talking shit instead of being a high and mighty intellectual.
*look, I won’t turn anti-choice for any wanna-be lousy poet, writing about how the womb is, like, better than fluffy kittens (you don’t even know how a kitten feels, you stupid fetus)
(Also, your link to Thomson’s violinist seems to be broken. Also, Thomson was a woman, so I doubt Richard has read much of her.)
Beatrice
What about calculus, huh? Would you become anti-abortion for calculus-calculating fetuses?
Aw, dang. Thomson’s Violinist?
Yes.
+++
I think my favourite typo at work is the one that changes sweat into Swedes. “Are there any traces of Swedes on this piece of evidence?” *tee hee* Even better is if I play Bad Translator, then, because the word for ‘traces’ is the same as for ‘footprints’, one can reliably ask the question: “Are there any Swedish footprints on this piece of evidence?”
[/funny to me]
rq,
If they solved a Millenium Prize Problem, I would personaly lock their mother into a cell untel the selfish wench gives birth.
Oh, there’s a thread for that topic. Mind if I copy-paste the conversation there? I want everyone to stop talking about Dawkins, because he annoys me so, but since that won’t happen I might as well mock the hell out of him.
Are there any particular stereotypes of Swedes or resentment of Swedes in Latvia that would make this mis-translation particularly funny?
Beatrice
Go for it.
I’ll come join in for real later. :)
I’m glad you’re at least consistent in your views.
What about a fetus curing cancer?
chimera
No, it’s just funny to have traces of Swedes everywhere. I mean, they did own Latvia (some of it) sometime in the 17th century (16th?) but nobody holds it against them anymore.
I wouldn’t mind if occasional pieces of evidence came stuck to a tall, blond, blue-eyed, muscular young man, for instance (a bit more than a trace, that, I know). “Can I swab you?” would be my ultra-hot opening line. Or, upon opening an envelope of evidence, the scent of a deliciously perfumed Swedish gentleman floated out. Would make Saturdays at work so much dreamier.
Also, Beatrice, regarding the calcufetus: what about a math question slightly less complicated than a Millennium Prize Problem? Say, a Century Prize Problem? What about then, huh? Or, you know, just really advanced calculus?
And – here’s the really tough one – what about a fetus… creating… the atom bomb? Now that’s a genius right there – but what is your moral choice????
Also, there is a Pea County in Latvia. Be warned!
::crosses fingers and hopes lorn does not comment in the abortion thread::
Tim Guffey, a Republican of course, is the Jackson County Commissioner in Alabama.
His premise is, in part, that the Ten Commandments are universal and so not apply to any specific religion. Yeah, it’s not really religious and that’s why he’s putting up a monument? Not buying it. This is a particularly headache-creating excuse for displaying religious stuff on public grounds.
Huffington Post link.
Pat Robertson is evil.
Right Wing Watch link.
Right Wing Watch link.
Right Wing Watch link.
Why does St. Louis County end up with so many racist, violent officers? Are they recruiting from rightwing, white supremacist groups? Sometimes that’s what it looks like.
Daily Kos link. Additional links to original sources are provided in the Daily Kos article.
Oh, yeah. Of course officer Don Lemon is a misogynist as well.
I liked this, on how (not) to describe characters. Glazed donuts!
Alan Rickman, you make me feel better. Vicariously.
rq (#322)
Unless it was a fetus with Down Syndrome or some other defect that kept it from being a contributor.
rq @342:
I love that link!
One of my favorites.
Having just fixed dirty rice with ground beef last night, this is definitely NOT one of my favorites.
rq,
Thank you for Alan Rickman.
That ‘how to describe white people’ link was awesome, a tonic for today.
I’m So. Fucking. Sick. of pseudo-Vulcans and their obnoxious attitude about things that mean a lot to people. SO SICK OF IT. I swear I want to pack them all into a fucking starship and feed them to a giant space amoeba.
Well, this is the second time in the last day when a commenter (contrarygymnosperm in this case) apologized for saying something offensive
I wish this happened more often.
****
Does anyone else look at the recent comments in the sidebar, and upon seeing a nym that is either new or one they don’t recognize, roll their eyes in dread of what the comment will be? I feel bad for doing this sometimes, but very often, that feeling is justified.
CaitieCat
*squeezy hugs with pressure on the correct side of the body*
Tony
Depends on the thread, but sometimes, yes. :)
Note, though, that his apology carefully explains that I’m not included in anyone he needs to apologize to. I guess my tone was too harsh, huh?
rq:
Yeah, I should have qualified my comment. It does indeed depend on the thread. Thank you.
****
CaitieCat:
I’m sorry. May I offer you a Shoop hug?
****
over in that abortion thread, screechymonkey said:
(my thoughts on this have nothing to do with that thread, and I didn’t want to derail)
Why does it have to be one of two options? Either accept JC and go to heaven or don’t and go to hell. Why can’t there be another option, like “don’t accept JC? He doesn’t care. You don’t go to heaven. You don’t get tortured in hell. You just get sent somewhere else. Some other realm that isn’t heaven or hell where you don’t have infinite suffering, nor eternal happiness. Maybe you’ll just come right back to Earth.”
rq, Tony, thanks, both of you. I’m just so fed up with people claiming to be emotionless as though that’s something to be proud of, or even possible. It’s so condescending and bullshit-superior. To me, someone who claims to eschew emotion in their decision-making is someone with a serious issue, not someone to be admired. :/
And now I’m going to get inundated with likes and responses on FB (some of which I’m sure will be obnoxious), after responding to a few comments at that ‘how to describe white people’ link. I wish I could turn off the ‘like’ notifications sometimes.
CaitieCat:
I agree.
This reminds me in a way of an argument I had with my sister and father a few years ago, which ended with my sister and mother saying that I was stoic. I never viewed myself that way, and it was at a time before I embraced feminism and humanism, so maybe they had a point (???), but I can’t imagine being called stoic today.
…phew… the last three weeks have been hectic, and I am in a state of grand threadrupt. I’m pretty sure I get double points for that. If you’re wondering, I went to Austria and Poland for two weeks, and just arrived to my first year at university last Tuesday. Between everything, haven’t had much time to settle down and chat.
Hello, everyone new! There’s quite a few of you, and I haven’t exactly met you all yet, but it’s been nice reading your contributions.
TMM:
I agree. Pls to have epicene? I’m not usually too picky with pronouns, if they’re not explicitly masculine. But I don’t have anything to present not-masculine with right now, and I don’t want to awkwardly reexplain gender to people I don’t know, so I’m letting people go by looks for now.
rq: I was at a thing where some people from Lithuania made a short presentation on the Baltic Way, mentioning the 45-year Soviet occupation. The russians et al. in the back almost mocked the idea (“Occupation? What occupation?”). That’s when they weren’t kissing posters of Putin.
In a broader sense, most of my family and the russophones I meet listen to exclusively russian media, which prevents a very distorted version of events, to say the least. It’s a bit tiring to explain to my family that no, Ukraine did not shoot down MH17 and that invading Crimea was a Bad Thing. The recent ruckus in Ferguson (which I haven’t kept up with– too depressing) is only going to give more ammunition to them, despite Russian police involvement in hate crimes being par for the course.
—–
This paragraph shouldn’t be empty, but I’m at a loss for words here. I should probably take a break.
thunk:
Great to see you.
****
I hate it, but love it when I forget to check out Strong Female Protagonist. I’d forgotten to check for updates for a little over 2 weeks, which meant I had 5 pages of updates to read through. Too cool.
thunk
Hi, and glad to hear you are well! Can I offer *hugs* or just a fluffy kitten today?
Also, it’s amazing how many people who live here (and who grew up here!) do not believe any actual occupation occurred. Go figure.
Hi, thunk.
Gah, I forgot to add this short bit on Terry Fox. Highway 17 is, indeed, extremely beautiful.
Anybody watching Doctor Who tonight? I hate Clara, but I’ve heard things that make me a bit hopeful for this season.
carlie, 3/4 of my family will be watching Dr Who, but not until after dinner because here it’ll be airing at 5:15PM.
Besides, if we wait, we can fast-forward past all the annoying commercials. But not, alas, past all of the annoying Clara. After the mess they made of the last season, though, I don’t hold out too much hope.
carlie,
I’ll watch it next week, when I obtain the episode.
/shifty eyes
I don’t like Clara either, or rather, I don’t like the way Moffat and Doctor treated her. I hope this season will be better, but I’m not very optimistic. I fear this show has run its course for now. Maybe in twenty years or so?
Well. I’m rather upset. I had been following the FB page for a feminist blog, but then it puked up a bunch of transphobia on my feed. So I suppose that’s one blog I’ll no longer be reading.
Mellow Monkey:
Damn. Sorry to hear that.
carlie, I’ll probably watch it eventually, but I’m not the least bit excited about the new season. And I LOVE Peter Capaldi, I’ve loved him in everything he ever did, but I’m so sick of Moffatt’s dudebro emohawk bullshit, the Manic Pixie Dream Companion With No Personality (like the actor, loathe the role), and I almost can’t bear to see how he’s going to make me come to dislike Peter Capaldi. :/
I mean, he literally created a character whose entire existence was predicated on her sacrifice to save the Doctor – to replace his first woman character, who also had no life except her relation to the Doctor. Clara/Amy had literally no life of their own, save their orientation to the Doctor. Kind of like an Anti-Bechdel character. They don’t talk to anyone about anything except the Doctor. Clara’s personality, her bravery, her wit, all of it comes and goes as needed to make the Doctor look good. She might as well be an appendage of him. It’s retro-misogynist crap. When he blew off the idea of having a woman Doctor as being “as ridiculous as the idea of having a woman King of England” (please ignore the Elizabeths and Victoria, kthx), it became utterly clear that his view of the Doctor is of a Boy’s Own story, with all the depth and emotion found in those comics.
Guh. So disappointed that they went from queer-positive, POC-favouring RT Davies (not without his flaws, for sure, but…) to superdudebro misogynist-in-chief Moffatt, who’s only gotten worse as the show’s gone along. :(
thunk
Hi, nice to meet you! I hope you enjoy your first year at university!
As a russophile, I don’t know why so many of us seem to have a difficult time condemning obviously aggressive and inhumane actions by the country (both in domestic and foreign policy). I recently graduated university, and I was shocked and disgusted to hear students in a lower level Russian language class defending the (at the time, new) homophobic law. I didn’t go back to their class to help them with their work anymore, which was a bit saddening.
Yeah. I adore Russians, and it’s my favourite non-English language, but their political culture is, and has been in my lifetime, pretty nasty in a lot of ways, favouring authoritarian asshole nationalists, and I have no problem saying that’s wrong. And as a queer person and football fan, I think the World Cup shouldn’t be going anywhere near such a viciously, lethally homophobic place.
But I still like all the Russians I know personally very well, and love the language and literature like no other. But finding a Russian media source that isn’t polluted with Putin worship and nationalist/authoritarian devotion is very difficult. :(
I almost went to Russia to work, back in the summer of ’92. I was in the process of negotiating terms for a job with Nezavisimaya Gazeta (the Independent newspaper) in their new Kazan bureau when the Yeltsin…unpleasantness happened, and the job offer was withdrawn, as they couldn’t reasonably be bringing in foreign workers at that time, because the nationalists were too pissy about it. As it turned out, probably for the best, as I sure as hell couldn’t have transitioned while there, and not transitioning would, I strongly believe, have led to my death before long.
Somewhat surprisingly, over half of the people I studied Russian with were LGBTQ. We all went through the last few years of Russian politics together, and they all helped teach me how to love Russian language and culture without compromising my humanist values. We’re all hoping for progress in Russian.
Also, welcome back, thunk!
И тоска (или другие друзья!), если хочешь разговаривать по-русски, то мне пиши на “cave” плюс “babe” и “21”, все на gmail дот com – без пункт перед @. :)
CaitieCat – I feel the same way. The only hope I feel is from reading that Capaldi is vigorously stating that there is NO hint of flirting etc. between him and the Clara character, and rumors that Clara will not be around for long. Not that it helps the writing overall, but I wonder if Capaldi will be knocking some sense into Moffat.
Спасибо большое, CaitieCat! Всё лето, я редко разговариваю по-русски. :(
Мне разговоры с тобой бы нравились!
Would those of you not posting in regular Latin alphabet script perhaps mind posting a translation of your text or at least a general gist? It feels kind of rude to talk over the heads of the rest of us.
But maybe that’s just me. :(
Carlie
This does give me a little bit of hope. Starting over with a new relationship between Doctor and companion, or a new companion altogether, could really give room for improvement, if the writers try/want to improve. I’m not holding my breath though. . .
rq
Apologies! CaitieCat gave her email for people who may want Russian conversations, and I thanked her and mentioned that I haven’t been able to converse in Russian very much all summer.
But then, none of you are talking to me, so I suppose it doesn’t matter.
И же мне.
Weirdest thing for me about speaking Russian anymore is, when I learned it initially, I learned it using the masculine forms, because I hadn’t transitioned yet. So I’m still very wary of speaking it ex tempore, because I don’t want to ‘out’ myself by using the wrong form.
For non-speakers, Russian indicates gender in first-person in the past tense – as many Slavic languages do – in the past tense, where a man says “работал”, and a woman says “работала”. Small difference, but it’s an unpleasant prospect for me.
Relatedly, the last time I was in the UK, I found that my accent was giving me issues. I easily reverted to my working-class Estuary English, but I kept getting misgendered on the phone. Not in person, but on the phone. In person, my appearance clearly overrode the speech issues, in the same way, for instance, that a Japanese woman saying “boku” isn’t mistaken for a man.
It took me a while to figure it out, but it was my use of endearments that was causing the trouble. I had grown up using the set of endearments and conversational tags appropriate to boy-speak – “my son”, “mate”, and so on – and it was overriding my voice and name to cause people to read my speech as masculine. Very weird, and unsettling. I was very glad after I figured it out, and some conscious work helped me to fix the issue. Funny where the landmines lie, in transition, often in the most unexpected places.
ok, these two musicians are pretty good and I might have even gone to the concert, had I know about it before checking online right now why there is loud music preventing me from sleeping!
I’m grumpy.
I don’t think open-air concerts should be held late at night in residental areas. Even if they are good concerts. Hmph.
Well, we are speaking on a public forum, and it would not be polite in a public conversation in real life. I didn’t mean to be exclusionary; it’s just rare and exciting for me to get the chance to speak Russian. Any further Russian from me will either be in an appropriate venue, or I will, as you (rq) suggested, provide a translation.
My apologies, too, rq, that’s really rude of me, and I’m sorry. toska’s done a good job of summarizing, but I’ll happily provide translations of anything anyone wants, and will in future regularly.
CaitieCat
There was a student in my class who transitioned part way through our time at university. They (and the rest of us) adapted pretty quickly, but I imagine that is because we were still in the process of getting comfortable with the language. It’s hard to change speaking habits once they are established. :(
Thanks, you two.
I feel a little bad for asking about it, plus I know some of that is my hate-spot for Russian (because being at work on weekdays during regular work hours and not knowing what your colleagues are saying and having people refuse to talk to you on the phone because you’re speaking Latvian? kinda sucks and we’re not in Russia), but yeah… thanks. Honestly, if it’s just me being pissy and encroaching on private conversation, I can take that, too, and just ignore the cyrillic.
And Beatrice, I’m with you: I don’t like anyone imposing their music on my space, whether with their bangin’ speaker system in their car, or their headphones turned up so loud I can sing along from ten metres away, or an outdoor concert in a residential area. Not even if I like the music.
I can only speak for me, rq, but I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. It’s rude to speak in another language in a place where everyone normally takes part in the conversation, and you’re well within the Lounge’s limits in asking for it to come with translation, or to go elsewhere. No offence taken on my part, for sure, and I apologize sincerely for being so thoughtless. Like toska, it’s just so rare for me to get to chat in Russian anymore, I got over-excited and it made me be rude to people I like and care about. So brava to you for pointing it out, and my apologies that you needed to. :)
*hugs* offered.
… Speaking of the Baltic Way, you can now scroll through it (don’t know, might be available to only FB users :( ). Warning: it’s nearly as exciting as the scroll-through-the-solar-system link PZ had a while ago. On the plus side, check out some Estonian, Latvian and Lithuanian country-side and city-scapes!
rq
Actually, thank you for saying something. I didn’t even think about how rude I was being, even though I would have recognized it if I weren’t online. It’s really awful that your coworkers don’t respect that, and I’m sorry for momentarily being in the same boat with my thoughtlessness.
toska
Thanks for being considerate of my feelings. :)
CaitieCat
I’ll just re-squeeze those *hugs*. :)
Beatrice
Ugh, that sucks. :( Hope it won’t continue late into the night, at least!
They are cellists, I don’t think they can go long.
… as I was saying.
I’ve got a new crop of Ferguson links up on my blog, one of which is to this article at Raw Story. Check out the damn letter from the supporters of Darren Wilson.
Hulk Smash!
They’re trying to paint themselves as victims!
“We are Darren Wilson”? Really?! You’re all a bunch of assholes who killed an unarmed black man?
(I know they don’t see it that way, which is even worse. They don’t understand the racism of the situation or that what their hero did is unjustified…grrrr)
rq @343, that link to Alan Rickman’s epic tea time made me laugh. Thanks.
Hey, Tony, since you started a discussion of mormon Missionary Training Centers in a previous Lounge thread, and I commented on the same subject in this thread (comment #98), I thought you might be interested in hearing about the pre-missionary training, called Seminary, that most mormon teens endure throughout their high school years.
http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/58321484-78/seminary-church-kirby-brother.html.csp
CaitieCat:
This is actually a major problem when I talk to my parents. I just say a very short schwa and high-tail it out of there. They really don’t seem to notice anyway. In the cases where this doesn’t work, I’m too scared and not feminine enough to use anything but the masculine forms.
Not to mention it’s taxing for me to read russian text (as A. Noyd mentioned; also a different alphabet complicates matters) but I know how to speak it relatively fluently. I should definitely try and read more…
Toska:
Surprisingly, most of my queer groupies also took Russian in high school. It’s strange how that works.
The “We are Darren Wilson” group is seriously deluded on several levels. Thanks for the link, Tony.
Beatrice
Indeed. I recall one time U2 came to the stadium across town from where I lived at the time, and I was still kept awake by the massive, massive bass boost. (Eugene’s not a big town, but still).
rq
I actually have seen (white) characters described as having a skin tone the colour of raw meat.
Also, it looks as though my desktop may have died. It froze, and now won’t reboot. We still have L’s, but it’s an embuggerance nevertheless, especially since I haven’t backed up all the files on there recently.
A Moment of Mormon Madness that is typical in Utah; education category, and “promoting inexperienced mormons just because they are mormon” category:
Joel Coleman’s has no public school teaching experience. Nevertheless, “The state school board voted to officially appoint Joel Coleman as interim state superintendent […]”
So, what qualifications does Coleman have? “Coleman has spent his career as a seminary teacher and administrator for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”
Salt Lake Tribune link.
By simply having a “State School Board,” mormons are able to control almost all educational policy decisions made at local levels in Utah. One reader of the Salt Lake Tribune article (link in comment #395) noted that this arrangement should be changed.
Here’s another salient comment from a reader:
Jules Feiffer has created a graphic novel, his first. Feiffer, who is 85 years old, produced a novel full of “badass women.”
http://www.motherjones.com/media/2014/05/interview-cartoonist-jules-feiffer-kill-my-mother
Students in Compton (Los Angeles area) will see campus cops armed with AR-15 rifles when they return to school this fall. This is taking the militarization of police forces way to far.
Compton is a high crime area, but arming Compton Unified School Police with AR-15s has got to be a step in the wrong direction. Compton school police have been charged before with racial profiling and abuse of students, especially Latino students. They have community-wide problems that resemble those in Ferguson, MO.
http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2014/08/compton-schools-allow-ar-15-rifles-security-guards
Well, I never knew this show was on TV:
VH1’s reality show ‘Dating Naked’ broadcasts womans genitals on tv
Yes, she’s suing and here are the details of her suit
This sounds like potentially good news out of Wyoming:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/wyoming-medicaid-expansion-options
I certainly wish that Idaho would get with it and accept Obamacare’s Medicaid expansion. That would help me and other low income residents a lot.
More “oh shit” and “WTF” moments in Gaza:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/israeli-airstrike-gaza-apartment-building
This is fucking offensive:
Trigger Warning
http://thinkprogress.org/culture/2014/08/21/3473996/facts-and-fiction-racial-reassignment-surgery-novelist/
Did you ever talk to people of color? Did you talk to any trans people? I doubt you did, but if so you clearly didn’t listen to them.
Who wants a Groot bobblehead?
This, especially the last image is LOL-worthy.
(via the Mary Sue)
on angrynativefeminists tumblr: a pic of Anthony Mackie as the Falcon with the caption “Like an angel, he descends”
…wow, the new Doctor Who title sequence *features* Capaldi’s eyebrows.
Need a bit of a break. Not staying away long this time, just a day or two. Need to get some writing done. Burned out on all the shit white privilege and male privilege are spewing just now, acknowledging I’m in both categories. Wherever you are I wish you reduced pain, peaceful rest, laughing moments of surprised delight. Hugs and supportive cheers, or quietly reflective solidarity, for those who want it. Talk with you soon.
Still learning,
Robert
Desert Son:
Be well and rest my friend.
Desert Son,
Take care. *hugs offered*
Here is some nice news:
http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/us-all-female-college-welcomes-trans-students230814
CaitieCat
Sent you an email with some inane Russian conversation! Let me know if you don’t receive it! :)
Nick Gotts, congrats on achieving Flushing-Toilet Ownership, and sorry you had to deal with Mr. MyBuilder.
–
*gentle hugs* for CaitieCat.
–
thunk!
*pouncehug*
Did you say which university, and I just missed it? Or am I forgetting?
–
*hugs* for TMM.
Sorry about the transphobic barf. You’ll want to get your feed sanitized, after that.
May I offer you some *napalm!*?
–
Tony!:
Huzzah!
–
Desert Son
Be well, and good luck with the writing! *hugs*
hey, could someone who moderates for PZ contact him and get him to sticky the “Good Morning America” thread as a good place to follow the continuing story of Ferguson, and basically, racism, segregation, and police militarization in the US?
it’s been the single best place to keep up with the news on this of any of my websources. really really.
it will be an interesting thing to see if in a month or two, this really starts a national dialogue, or fizzles to nothingness like it usually does.
Dalillama
I think I have too – but only if they’ve been sunburned. :/
And, incidentally, *hugs* to you! Computer problems suck. :(
+++
toska
(To continue a bit from last night.)
To be fair, my colleagues don’t exclude me linguistically on purpose. They just happen to be (most of them) of Russian descent, and they are fully capable of speaking Latvian (it’s a job requirement, as it’s a government job). They just happen to use Russian amongst themselves. When I started working here (8 years ago in November! Whew!), I was the only non-Russian speaker. One other colleague was of Latvian-Latvian descent, but he understands and speaks Russian. So I was kind of a new thing to the collective here – people my age and older are more or less assumed to have some knowledge of Russian, enough to understand and say a few things, while people younger than myself, unless of Russian descent themselves, are far less likely to know any Russian at all (a result of the exit out of the Soviet Union, and changes to the education system – but I grew up in Canada, where Russian isn’t really a thing at all in public catholic school).
From what I understand, now we are three non-Russian speakers at work, and there’s more of a language mix in conversation. But, again, I work mostly evenings and weekends these days, so I do not reap the benefits as often as I wouldl ike.
What bothers me more is the phone calls, since they come from regional inspectors and attorneys and the like, and there’s quite a few who will refuse to switch languages, even though, technically, they could. Some of them are assholes about it. So I speak French back to them. :)
Obviously, I just need to get off my ass and learn the language, but time is what it is. :/ Have to dig up my audiolessons from years ago and re-start listening to those. (Also, I can read out the cyrillic letters, I just don’t understand what the words mean. :) )
+++
Spooky morning, this one. Strange silence over everything and an absence of people as I walked to the train station, an ordinary emptiness for a Sunday before 10. Weird ghostly light filtering through the low clouds, even with the sun well above the treetops. Then the train emerged from the rising mist with its single glaring eye, and I could swear someone flipped a switch and turned all the birds on.
Smells like autumn.
One of this morning’s headlines, no joke: “After three weeks of living together, couple starts living together”. Uh, hello, Editor?
Once again, Iceland ruins things for everyone.
I can’t figure out if this is good news or kind of a fuck-you. They won’t use the name on the Editorial page, but it will in News and Sports? Weird.
A straight woman married to a woman. *sniff* Something in my eye.
Very long, probably 20-second, rolling strongish earthquake just rolled us outside San Francisco. approx 3:20 am Pacific time.
Do me a favor if Pat Robertson blames the gays for the earthquake, I would expect nothing less from him. Can we just put him on mute? Please.
Prelim. info is iti was a 6.1
I had just finished watching Godzilla wrecking the Golden Gate Bridge when it hit.
Remember “sensurround?”
Jafafa Hots
Eek! Hope you’re okay. Hope there’s nothing bigger coming! (Though, I suppose, eventually it is inevitable.)
Apparently some ppl reporting broken glass, windows, a TV or two a bit north of us. Wasn’t very “jerky,” so though strong and very long, was not so destructive (epicenter north of here, less populated, may take a while for full damage reports to come in.)
Cats are walking around nervous and quiet, looking at me like “um,,, Jaf? Hugs?” :)
(last year’s was jerkier but the epicenter was literally a half block from my house.)
http://www.google.org/publicalerts/alert?aid=ec05e6920a271e4c&hl=en&gl=US&source=web
I don’t know why, but this picture is making me laugh. Not that the rest of the article is any good. (It recommends feeding asparagus and avocado to your partner, as it will make them think more about sex.)
rq
It sounds like a frustrating situation all around, both with the jerks on the phone and the people who are unintentionally excluding you by speaking their preferred language.
Time is definitely a challenge! There are so many languages I’d like to learn, as well as improve my skills in the languages I have studied instead of forgetting everything.
Earthquakes scary. Hope nobody hurt. *hugs*
Nah, penguin jumping up-and-down scary. Earthquakes are, in comparison, a minor annoyance, like erupting volcanoes and planets being nuked from orbit.
But even a yoyo-ing penguin is a triviality compared to peas. (Or horses.)
Earthquakes are a thing here. Penguins not so much. Earthquakes scary.
Feed peas to horses. Peas go away, fed horses go away, end of problem.
The request seems reasonable, but the implication that it is the use of non-Latin script that is the discourtesy is absurd.
*reading upwards till comment 342*
*restocking hug truck*
Emotionlessness: the kolinahr fallacy. Without emotion, motivation is impossible; that’s why even amphioxus have a limbic system in their brains that end at eye level “to switch between their handful of behaviors”.
“15. Her beauty was indescribable, which means she’s white.”
“16. For the first time in his life, he found himself imagining a future together with someone. He was embarrassed to tell her this but he had never really been in love with the women he had dated. ‘Well who would play me in this rom-com of your life?’ she teasingly inquired. ‘You have such beautiful olive skin,’ he crooned, ‘so you can be a person of color or racially ambiguous in the book but definitely a white woman in the movie.'”
I think you’ll find it fairly easy to learn, much more so than anyone who knows only English or French or even German. (In my case, Latin helped to a noticeable extent.) Go for it! :-)
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
carlie,
so what’s the judgement regarding the Doctor?
(no spoilers, please, I haven’t seen the episode yet, I’m just curious about your general satisfaction with the beginning)
I think the black cat in the photo is the one Bob Howard (from the Laundry) adopted, while he was busy fighting vampires in London.
Quote: “A diurnal solitary obligate carnivore ambush predator that favors biting off the neck of the prey or disembowling an enemy with the claws of the rear feet -basically a furry velociraptor with entitlement issues.
David
I don’t doubt that I wouldn’t have issues learning, plus I have the background noise (as it were) of a partially-immersive environment. It’s just a factor of time and energy. *sigh* Whoever thought it was a good idea to have three whole children?
Speaking as something of a broken person, I’m not sure three half-children would have been easier, rq. :)
If you do decide to work on learning Russian, I’ll be happy to work with you. We could Skype or something. Start with politeness, and work from there. You can trade me some basic Latvian.
toska, I did get your e-mail, I’ve got Her Ex-Cellency over this afternoon, but will respond after that. Also, SQUEE to have someone to natter Russian at. :)
MyMouse left yesterday (with FoxyJenny) to get home to Maryland, and then on to Rehoboth in Delaware for her mother’s visitation periods tonight and tomorrow. We decided it’d be easier for me not to go along, not least because they were driving FJ’s Mini, and three large people in one small English(-ish) car for a twelve-hour drive didn’t sound like fun for any of us.
On the up side, Maryland’s decriminalization of one of my important meds in November – the (ahem) smokable one – will make visiting her much easier. I’ve had a taste the last two weeks of life without it – money ran short, and I ran out – and I’m not loving the pukeyness at all. Looking for the silver lining, it’s meant I’ve kept the garbage taken out pretty strictly, and the sink free of nasty smells.
What else…Netflix has been adding really good (and recent!) anime lately, including Attack on Titan last winter, Death Note this spring, and now Noragami this summer – the latter a show that only came out this year, which is incredibly fast for anime to arrive here. Noragami has been a strangely riveting show, at the same time childish and deeply disturbing, and I’m always a fan of unusual combos like that. My anime tastes tend toward the unusual, somewhat – Mushi-shi, for instance, or House of Five Leaves, Ghost Hound, Rideback, Higashi no Eden, and so on. Also like some more mainstreamy stuff, like Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, and Ghost in the Shell, to be fair. Noragami is definitely in the former group.
Also, hell of a time to be a Tottenham Hotspur fan, is all I’ll say about that. *dances a little*
Recently seen on a tumblr post about shows one loves and how they disappoint: “Out of a Whole Planet’s Population, One Hero Will Be Chosen … it’s Probably Going to be a White Dude“.
Yup.
To which I would add “… an English-Speaking White Dude … With a Distinctively USAnian Accent”
I know the USA has a huge population, but it’s still a remarkable coincidence :-\
@CaitieCat
Seen Psycho-Pass? That’s on NetFlix as well.
Also, I had a dream last night that I was killing giants like the ones in Attack on Titan. Except the world worked like a video game where I could pause and save and load the battles.
Also, now that NetFlix has subbed anime, I have discovered that you sometimes have to be careful to choose the right subtitle track. The “English [CC]” one is dubtitles and the “English” one is the more faithful translation. Mine likes to default to the dubtitles, which is annoying.
Uuuuugggggh – so I came home from work, and Husband was all ‘So Youngest did some vomiting this morning’ and I was all ‘Okay, it’s probably just a short-term thing, he’s probably okay’. Then we had dinner, and he did some more vomiting. :( Now I’m worried he has ebola (okay, that’s a slight exaggeration).
Who’s next…?
opposablethumbs:
He wouldn’t have been popular with Americans, but I wonder what it would have been like if a young Kal-El had landed on Earth and was raised by a black family. Especially in the early part of the 20 century (as the original origin for Superman would have placed him; he was an adult when he debuted in Action Comics #1). I don’t think he’d be the great enforcer of the status quo if he were raised by a black family.
A Noyd, yes, I did see Psycho-Pass, but I didn’t get through a single episode before the fanservice (read: objectification and misogyny) made me quit. This is the reason I don’t watch a lot of mainstream anime, because the soft-porn focus on schoolgirls creeps me out. Too bad, too, because it was a good premise, and I was interested to see it. My rule is, if I’m rolling my eyes at the porniness more than three times an episode, I probably won’t enjoy the show.
And yes, I’ve seen the same thing with the subs. The CC version necesssarily has to include sound effects and tone-of-voice and so on, and the translation, as you say, is…impressionist, rather than accurate in the way I’d prefer. I wish it were possible to set the default on that, because it’s really annoying to have to stop every episode and re-set it, and more so if I have to pause the episode or switch away for some reason.
-=-=-
Her Ex-Cellency is having a rotten weekend, much serious fighting with her partner. Discussion of “selling the house” and “see you in a week, maybe” was had. Poor thing. We’re watching some Homeland now, something a little mindless for a distraction.
Hello, my sweets!
At some point this week, I’m going to be sorting through the Darkling’s outgrown clothing– if anyone needs toddler clothes ranging from size 18 months to 2T, I’d be more than happy to mail a box of clothes to you!
I haven’t done a full tally yet, but I know that there are:
• onesies
• pjs
• t-shirts (including Batman and Captain America)
• shorts, skinny jeans, khakis with cargo pockets
(Anything left over will be donated to my local YWCA.)
Beatrice – I liked Capaldi. I think the writers understood at least some of the dissatisfaction with the way it’s gone the last couple of seasons with Clara, because there was an lot of overt “being flirty with the Doctor is bad and you are bad if you want to” and “stop being so full of yourself” directed straight at Clara. I still don’t like her, but she was easier to take once she wasn’t flirting constantly. Storyline was… not great, and too full of Moffat giving callbacks to other things he’s writen, but it wasn’t as bad as I was worried it would be, and there was some good bits of dialogue.
Tony!
Isn’t it funny how easily our culture accepts friendly aliens that just happen to look exactly like white men? Maybe they’ll be bald or have dramatic eyebrows, but white skin and white features and a presentation we can identify as a man are all quite easy for readers and viewers to accept in a friendly alien. Hell, we can even manage green-skinned dudes, but brown friendly aliens are too wacky for anything but parody.
Of all the ways for Kal-El or the Doctor or any other savior from space to resemble a human, why does it have to be a white dude? We’ve already made the absurd leap to have this alien look like “us”…and then go and restrict what counts as “us” to a teeny, tiny group.
CaitieCat
re: Russian
I wouldn’t mind, once I’ve gotten some of the basics down on my own. Perhaps we could work on spelling and grammar, since that’s hard to catch by ear.
And yes, I can trade you for some Latvian. :)
Also, I was going to ask about YourMouse – thanks for the update! ♥ and *hugs*
Alexandra
How tall of a 18months – 2T? All my children are on the smallish size, and Youngest is a bit over 2yo, though he still wears 18mo clothing…
I have never watched an episode of Doctor Who, but I just might, if the next Doctor is a black woman.
TMM, yes. But that just reminded me …. anyone else seen Brother From Another Planet? Where for once the alien who crash-lands on earth looks just like a black guy (eh, still a bloke, but …). I saw it so long ago I can’t remember it all that clearly (he’s telepathic, I think, and can’t/doesn’t speak, and he can temporarily remove an eye and leave it to watch what’s going on and when he comes back to collect it and put it back in again he gets all the information it’s “recorded” … and he’s enthralled by a singer (a black woman), buys her LP for the sleeve and dumps the vinyl … ring any bells with anyone?)
CaitieCat (#442)
The first episode is notoriously terrible that way. I’m about halfaway through the series and while there’s more violence against women in some of the later episodes, it’s not quite to the same level. I’d suggest judging it by the first and second episodes together.
And yeah, seems like fanservice has gotten a lot worse in the last few decades. Probably because a huge section of the industry is dominated by otaku¹ who are obsessed with bullshit like little sister incest fetishes, obligatory panty shots, harems of girls modeled after the cliches in dating sims, etc. I take less issue with Psycho-Pass because it comes off as more mainstream exploration of perversity than niche masturbation fodder. Which doesn’t make it not misogynistic, but at least it’s going for appeal beyond the extra creepy themes otaku dwell on.
……………
¹ Here I mean “otaku” in the Japanese sense, not the English loanword sense.
I remember Brother From Another Planet, it’s one of Paul’s and my favorites. I think the alien also had weird feet, although I could be remembering that from another of the oddball sf films of that era.
Anyway, it’s a good movie, and worth a look.
rq,
So in another 20 years or so. (regarding doctor who)
/pessimist
Brother From Another Planet – yep, he had three toes, and was being hunted by alien Overlords who were scary white MIBs (Men in Black suits). The Brother was played by Joe Morton, who I only knew from Terminator 2 where he played the researcher-director of Cyberdyne. His eloquence (is it eloquence if it’s physical only?) in leading an entire movie without speaking stayed with me all these years. Everyone else kept explaining to him, or excusing, or outright BS’ing. It must have been intentional to portray a black lead without a voice.
Come to think of it, there’s another movie where the bad aliens are all white guys in suits, and the good aliens are all black – The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai. There aren’t many women characters, but the ones there are are pretty strong and kick ass.
How could I forget? It’s been one of our favorites since it came out and we saw it three times opening weekend.
rq:
I’ll check the sizing later today (I’m off to a party, woo!), but all of Darkling’s stuff is major brands– Target, Macy’s, Carter’s/OshKosh, and Gerber. I’ll also let you know what is available in the 18 month size (I think it’s pretty much just onesies at this point).
It’s funny– the Darkling is 22 months old and wearing 3T sized clothing. Back in March, she was wearing 18 months. We haven’t been able to keep up!
He was incredibly expressive, wasn’t he! And I’m sure you’re right about the voice.
carlie,
thanks. I’ll keep the tentative hope.
CaitieCat
Squee! Back atcha, and I’m not even a squee-er! ;)
***
Also, re: rq and CaitieCat
So jealous! I’m going to have to start picking up some Latvian. Where does one go about that in the northwestern US…. Hmmm……
***
carlie
I’m glad to hear the flirting in Doctor Who seems to be going away with Capaldi. Martha was my favorite companion, but my least favorite aspect of her character was her unrequited love for the Doctor and her jealousy at the mention of Rose. In fact, she was much better when she appeared in the show after having left the Doctor.
That’s three vomits from Youngest. *sigh* And on the wood floor with cracks between boards, too.
toska
I hear the Mormons do good language lessons. ;) The missionaries walking the streets here are pretty competent, at least.
Mostly ‘rupture, but
-JAL sympathy and *hugs* about your mother.
-Morgan!? Wow, that is teh suck for your friends, I hope they are able to get it straightened out. :(
-Tony! I hope you experience no more delays in the new job. Congrats, btw.
***
I think I like Capaldi as the new Who. He reminds me a lot of the 4th and the 9th.
When are Vastra, Jenny and Strax gonna get their own show? /whine
***
Chipped beef *napalm* disgusting gross ick blech
Husband loves the other version of it, SOS, which is the same milk/flour gravy but with ground beef instead of chipped.
It’s not any better.
rq @448:
Sophie Okonedo would be perfect. I still wouldn’t watch it much. It’s been downhill since Tom Baker. Well, Christopher Eccleston wasn’t too awful.
wiki:
She’d kick ass, but is there precedent for a Doctor drawn from actors who’d already been on the show? or would anyone care?
Rob
Hmm, nice. I was thinking more Gina Torres, but Sophie would kick ass, too.
Pteryxx,
Actress who went on to play Gwen in Torchwood first appeared in one of the episodes with Nine and Rose.
When the Doctor later meets Gwen, I think he mentions something about her looking familiar, but I think that was just a nod to the audience and there was no actual connection between the characters.
We have an anti-choice, fetus worshiper in the ‘logical experiment’ thread.
I’ll take Gina Torres in all the roles. Ever.
Tony
I know, I shouldn’t get engaged, but I feel myself slowly sucked in…
This was bugging me, so I googled a bit.
It appears both Karen Gillian and Freema Agyeman appeared in small roles before becoming companions. Agyeman’s Martha mentions her previous role, referring to that character as Martha’s cousin.
Tony and rq
Cheering you on from the sidelines in the logical experiment thread!
***
Gina Torres was my pick for Wonder Woman. But yes, all the roles to her. She’s amazing.
rq @464: An American as The Doctor? Sacrilege. I don’t know Torres, but if The Doctor has to be American, how about Aisha Tyler?
Yeah, Martha’s cousin died at the Battle of Canary Wharf, while Amy had a previous life as one of the seers in the Pompeii episode (with Capaldi, actually, so yes, Doctors can be previous actors).
Liz Ten is my all-time favourite Dr Who character, period. “I’m the bloody Queen, mate. Basically…I rule.”
CaitieCat,
I indirectly bring up The Fires of Pompeii, but forget that Peter Capaldi was playing one of the main characters?
I feel like I should give my whovian badge back :(
Capaldi also played a rather unforgettable role in Children of Earth. The only Torchwood I found watchable.
Sorry about Youngest, rq :-( Hope the vomiting stops and he feels better soon, poor mite. And that you all get a decent night’s sleep!
Rob
Nothing is sacred.
But I think Gina Torres would kick Aisha Tyler’s butt.
opposablethumbs
I just hope it won’t be vomitting in bed. :( Hoping for the 24-hour bug feature here, with a non-contagion clause. School starts in a week. I don’t want Eldest missing his first day, and Middle Child has been asking about daycare/kindergarten for a couple of weeks now. :/ Would be a shame to have them drop right at the finish (start?) line.
Now to try for that sleep… (And thanks for the thoughts! Hope you are well! *hugs*)
Surely you mean arse, rq
Beatrice
Keep your badge, I’m discussing the Doctor and, as I said, have never seen an episode. *tee hee*
I know, I’m a bad person.
Good night!
Can’t seem to flounce – I leave you all with some sad news. :(
(Beatrice
No, in Canada we said ‘ass’. ;) That’s almost American.)
rq,
Good night!
I hope everyone wakes up healthy tomorrow! (and that there’s no vomiting in bed)
Quickly, as I’m a bit rupt.
*hugs* for JAL. Good for you for standing your ground. I’m so sorry she is treating you so badly.
–
I’m raising the Horde signal on CaitieCat’s behalf. She needs her phone, and if anyone is able to chip in to help her keep it, please consider it. We need about $150 to keep it connected. You can paypal me at bravoportia with the service of the all-knowing g-thingy. If you donate, please put your nym in the memo section. Thanks.
*hugs* all around.
I’m tired.
I have to work now. I retrieved a stack of files from my office right as soon as I got back from vacation. That stack, kindly prepared with memos from my assistant, is the cases that were plopped on me when the other lawyer quit last week. They all have court dates this week. I’m not panicking. I feel like taking a nap.
rq#415
Nah, just ordinary white folks. For instance, there’s a couple instances in Discworld where someone is described as ‘having a face like a lump of bacon’ or ‘looked as though he’d been built out of chunks of bacon’
opposablethumbs
Not that huge, all things considered. We haven’t got nearly a majority of English speakers here in the States, and I’m pretty sure that white people from anywhere don’t actually make up the majority of English speakers either.
Tony!
I recall reading an Elseworlds story in which Kal-el landed in 19th century Kansas, was raised by a white couple, stopped the Civil War by singlehandedly disarming the Confederacy, and then was shown the rocket that he came in. The records there showed that when they launched the rocket aimed at Kansas, white people weren’t there yet, and he was supposed to have been raised by the Kiowa. So, in support of his parents’ wishes, he fucked off away from white people and went off to go see if the Kiowa would have him. The Indian Wars had a very different outcome in that world.
Back in the day, he actually wasn’t; he was a hell-raising radical with strong leftist sympathies. He got all buttoned-down and defender of the system during WWII.
opposablethumbs
Brother From Another Planet is an excellent film.
Rawneris
Shit on a Shingle is traditionally made with chipped beef; ground beef is a relatively recent and principally civilian corruption of it.
rq:
Good night. Hope the family wakes up feeling better.
****
I’ve blogged once or twice about Milo Manara’s alternate cover to Spiderwoman #1. It’s shitty, anatomically out of whack, and sexually objectifying. Over at The Mary Sue, there’s an article up offering an artistic critique of Manara’s cover (as well as the main cover by artist Greg Land, who has his own problems). The article is a repost of blog entry by artist Karine Charlebois and comes with illustrations of the problematic anatomy of the two covers, as well some corrections she made to make the images look better.
RIP Richard Attenborough :-((((
amen :'(
@Dalillama, ah that would explain it then. My family is military spanning multiple generations on both sides, and his is Dairy farmer Texan, with no military persons to speak of.
Both versions still get *napalm* in my book.
***
I think we’ll see a black or women or other minority or any combination thereof Doctor eventually. Probably not until Moffat gives up the lead writing though. Which is sad to me given that he has other characters (Vastra, Jenny) who are very expectations-transgressive. That was even a sub-plot in the new episode.
(Why yes, I am a Vastra & Jenny fangirl, why do you ask?)
Tony!
Above and beyond the objectification, that picture is on the edge of the uncanny valley due to the anatomical failures; her neck has to be extremely long for her head to be where it is, and her spine appears to continue for a considerable length after her pelvis should start. Speaking of which, she appears to have a secondary pelvis above her main pelvis, with the spine passing through it. How exactly that works I’m not sure.
Quick link-droppage, from Unspeakable Vault.
cooking halp!
I made cream of chicken soup. Every single recipe on the internet is pretty much the same. I did that. It tastes SO BLAND. It has carrots, celery seed, dried celery, onion, salt, pepper, chicken, chicken broth, rice, milk, and a little heavy cream. It tastes like NOTHING. What can I do? I tried a little with a curry blend, but that just made it hot without adding taste. I don’t have mushrooms or wild rice, but I guess I could get some tomorrow for the bulk of it. Is there anything I can do to salvage it?
carlie
I think cream of chicken is meant to be bland.
You could try some nutmeg.
carlie @491
You also should get chicken stock if the flavor is too weak. You can make it or buy it (the bought kind isn’t as good).
I do believe the troll in the abortion thread is ignoring me.
carlie
Garlic! Also, dried tarragon does wonders for chicken dishes. You could also do a combination of Italian flavor: basil, oregano, marjoram.
Easy peasy.
Ok, just did a combination – I found some chicken bullion (salt-free) in the back of the cabinet, and threw some of that in, then added garlic salt. Definitely better. I think I have some nutmeg somewhere; I’ll go look for it. Thanks!
Tony @494
His argument stays the same and he just keeps re posting it. Yeah he’s not listening.
Oh wow if you haven’t heard this I highly recommend it.
@carlie
Nutmeg is evil. Add some white wine or sherry and top it with fried sage instead.
fried sage??!‽?