Tip for people visiting London: Drivers of Black Cabs will use this, and something called “The Knowledge”, to charge you double, spout increasingly incoherent racist rants, and take you to your destination via Edinburgh.*
Louis
*Actually, this is untrue and vastly unfair. In my experience the Black Cab drivers have almost exclusively been friendly, helpful, efficient, minimally racist and averse to driving to Edinburgh. However, south of the river? At this time of night? You have to be joking, guv’ner.
postmodernslavepoetsays
Perhaps the driver of the lorry is saying “Here’s that sick squid I owe you.”
Louis,
I haven’t lived in London for many a decade, but it used to be said that acquiring ‘The Knowledge’ (which was done on little motorbikes or scooters) was as hard as getting a PhD!
Louissays
“The Knowledge” is pretty hard from all accounts. I don’t know if it’s comparably hard/involves the same sort of skills as a PhD, but I don’t see why not. Especially in terms of, say, volume of knowledge. It’s a serious intellectual undertaking, not to be underestimated, and involves a big time commitment.
Louis
Moggiesays
Call yourself a tool user, octopus? Get off and fix the damn truck!
In Family Guy, Peter got rid of a dead horse by putting it on his car, accelerating and then braking sharply, getting the horse to fly into a neighbor’s window.
This guy intended to do the same, but underestimated the strain on the chassis.
Myself, I get rid of giant animals by stuffing them in the office elevator and pushing the buttons at random.
davidnanglesays
I’ve seen enough London traffic jams to know where this is going.
For those that have no experience of non-US cities I’d like to suggest a brief glimpse at a road map of London in order to truly appreciate just how daunting The Knowledge is. Any resemblance of London roads to any geometry that can properly exist in this universe is strictly temporary. I spent 6 years living sarf of the rivvuh and commuting into Kensington (Imperial College and the Royal College of Art, yay!) by motorcycle. I’m fairly sure I didn’t take exactly the same route twice. Though back in the day (before pervasive cctv) there were a few spots where one could plausibly hit 100mph en route :-) which might have caused timespace rifts.
Al Dentesays
one could plausibly hit 100mph en route :-)
Going that fast in a city? Impressive.
dexitrobopersays
See? The M25 was built to summon eldritch horrors.
cksays
tim rowledge, Ersatz Haderach wrote:
Any resemblance of London roads to any geometry that can properly exist in this universe is strictly temporary.
It seems like whoever designed London’s road system was later hired as a consultant to design Winnipeg’s road system. The brain damage isn’t quite as severe, but the roads do seem to take impossible paths, like one particularly infamous intersection, that even sometimes baffles longtime residents of the city.
Louissays
London’s road system was not designed. It evolved. Wait…
…Did I just prove that evolution is the tool of the devil?
Louis
opposablethumbssays
A brief browse of a map of London will also shed light on the layout of Ankh Morpork and on the challenges of navigating The Shades.
I’m not entirely sure whether this has happened in London too, but there are places in Edinburgh where tiny alleyways that once had tall buildings grow closer and closer over them with each successive storey eventually became incorporated into the buildings and turned into interior passages. A lot of European cities with mediaeval quarters have lanes that gradually disappeared into a basement level as the level of the neighbouring roadway was raised on detritus over a few hundred years. No doubt Detritus would feel quite at home. And of course quite a lot of English towns have a street or small area called the Shambles – “shambles” = slaughterhouse/slaughtering area-cum-row of butchers’ stalls.
Maps of old cities are irresistible :-)
Al Dentesays
Don’t forget that in London drivers ignore all left and right signs since those are merely political slogans.
A brief browse of a map of London will also shed light on the layout of Ankh Morpork and on the challenges of navigating The Shades. …
The rest of your description of “the Shades” reminds me of Gaiman’s book, Neverwhere, which takes the Underground (i.e. the Subway) automated intonation of “Mind The Gap” to a whole ‘nother level. And the OP pic of that Octop also seems right from the book (while not actually mentioned in it. just seems appropriate FOR the story).
Cheers. Ta ta for now. TraLa
Apparently, it was ordered by a booking agency as a homage to Paul the Prophetic Octopus. The original Paul passed away in 2010, but as they say, what is dead may never die.
freddiesdead .says
Turns out it was there for use in an ad for the betting site Betfair that you can see here.
Obviously the first step in taking over the world is to beat everyone at table tennis.
Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaidensays
Wait a minit – I just passed by this on my way to searching for the seattle secret thread and noticed that PZ wrote this:
Happens all the time when you’re hauling your giant octopus around, and the truck breaks down.
Shouldn’t that have been:
Happens all the time when you’re a giant octopus being driven around: the truck breaks down.
Even here? Even here the cephalopods are marginalized? Oh when, oh when will cephalopods finally attain a reliable active and discursive subjectivity sufficient to challenge mammalian cultural hegemony?
Louis says
Tip for people visiting London: Drivers of Black Cabs will use this, and something called “The Knowledge”, to charge you double, spout increasingly incoherent racist rants, and take you to your destination via Edinburgh.*
Louis
*Actually, this is untrue and vastly unfair. In my experience the Black Cab drivers have almost exclusively been friendly, helpful, efficient, minimally racist and averse to driving to Edinburgh. However, south of the river? At this time of night? You have to be joking, guv’ner.
postmodernslavepoet says
Perhaps the driver of the lorry is saying “Here’s that sick squid I owe you.”
richardelguru says
postmodernslavepoet
The pun police now have you at number six on their least wanted list.
richardelguru says
Louis,
I haven’t lived in London for many a decade, but it used to be said that acquiring ‘The Knowledge’ (which was done on little motorbikes or scooters) was as hard as getting a PhD!
Louis says
“The Knowledge” is pretty hard from all accounts. I don’t know if it’s comparably hard/involves the same sort of skills as a PhD, but I don’t see why not. Especially in terms of, say, volume of knowledge. It’s a serious intellectual undertaking, not to be underestimated, and involves a big time commitment.
Louis
Moggie says
Call yourself a tool user, octopus? Get off and fix the damn truck!
birgerjohansson says
The Kraken in London? Beware of Tattoo, Goss and Subby. http://www.amazon.com/Kraken-China-Mieville/dp/034549749X/ref=tmm_hrd_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1401800135&sr=8-3
UnknownEric the Apostate says
DINSDALE!!!
Louis says
“‘E used……sarcasm.”
kylemarquis says
Watchmen: The BBC miniseries.
ppb says
My lorry is full of octupi.
Lofty says
The new Octopi London movement.
birgerjohansson says
In Family Guy, Peter got rid of a dead horse by putting it on his car, accelerating and then braking sharply, getting the horse to fly into a neighbor’s window.
This guy intended to do the same, but underestimated the strain on the chassis.
Myself, I get rid of giant animals by stuffing them in the office elevator and pushing the buttons at random.
davidnangle says
I’ve seen enough London traffic jams to know where this is going.
Inaji says
I’d like that giant octopus sitting on my front lawn. Welcoming, y’know.
Al Dente says
Isn’t a traffic jam a situation where nothing is going?
davidnangle says
Know your memes, Al Dente: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ive-seen-enough-hentai-to-know-where-this-is-going
It was my attempt at subverting that one.
Sili says
This is exactly why we need the congestion charge.
Tony! The Fucking Queer Shoop! says
Lofty:
::groan::
Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human. says
So the traffic jam, er, Preserves! the situation?
Oh, and Lofty? Groannnnnnn!
HolyPinkUnicorn says
And if you ever need to transport live ones might I suggest the pool-mobile from The Simpsons.
tim rowledge, Ersatz Haderach says
For those that have no experience of non-US cities I’d like to suggest a brief glimpse at a road map of London in order to truly appreciate just how daunting The Knowledge is. Any resemblance of London roads to any geometry that can properly exist in this universe is strictly temporary. I spent 6 years living sarf of the rivvuh and commuting into Kensington (Imperial College and the Royal College of Art, yay!) by motorcycle. I’m fairly sure I didn’t take exactly the same route twice. Though back in the day (before pervasive cctv) there were a few spots where one could plausibly hit 100mph en route :-) which might have caused timespace rifts.
Al Dente says
Going that fast in a city? Impressive.
dexitroboper says
See? The M25 was built to summon eldritch horrors.
ck says
tim rowledge, Ersatz Haderach wrote:
It seems like whoever designed London’s road system was later hired as a consultant to design Winnipeg’s road system. The brain damage isn’t quite as severe, but the roads do seem to take impossible paths, like one particularly infamous intersection, that even sometimes baffles longtime residents of the city.
Louis says
London’s road system was not designed. It evolved. Wait…
…Did I just prove that evolution is the tool of the devil?
Louis
opposablethumbs says
A brief browse of a map of London will also shed light on the layout of Ankh Morpork and on the challenges of navigating The Shades.
I’m not entirely sure whether this has happened in London too, but there are places in Edinburgh where tiny alleyways that once had tall buildings grow closer and closer over them with each successive storey eventually became incorporated into the buildings and turned into interior passages. A lot of European cities with mediaeval quarters have lanes that gradually disappeared into a basement level as the level of the neighbouring roadway was raised on detritus over a few hundred years. No doubt Detritus would feel quite at home. And of course quite a lot of English towns have a street or small area called the Shambles – “shambles” = slaughterhouse/slaughtering area-cum-row of butchers’ stalls.
Maps of old cities are irresistible :-)
Al Dente says
Don’t forget that in London drivers ignore all left and right signs since those are merely political slogans.
paulambos says
It’s so much more convenient if you wear your octopus on your head.
twas brillig (stevem) says
re opposablethumbs @27:
The rest of your description of “the Shades” reminds me of Gaiman’s book, Neverwhere, which takes the Underground (i.e. the Subway) automated intonation of “Mind The Gap” to a whole ‘nother level. And the OP pic of that Octop also seems right from the book (while not actually mentioned in it. just seems appropriate FOR the story).
Cheers. Ta ta for now. TraLa
chip says
paulambos – Or your back.
Forbidden Snowflake says
Apparently, it was ordered by a booking agency as a homage to Paul the Prophetic Octopus. The original Paul passed away in 2010, but as they say, what is dead may never die.
freddiesdead . says
Turns out it was there for use in an ad for the betting site Betfair that you can see here.
Obviously the first step in taking over the world is to beat everyone at table tennis.
Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says
Wait a minit – I just passed by this on my way to searching for the seattle secret thread and noticed that PZ wrote this:
Shouldn’t that have been:
Even here? Even here the cephalopods are marginalized? Oh when, oh when will cephalopods finally attain a reliable active and discursive subjectivity sufficient to challenge mammalian cultural hegemony?
Oh, the huge manatee!