This is the lounge. You can discuss anything you want, but you will do it kindly.
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Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
This is the lounge. You can discuss anything you want, but you will do it kindly.
Status: Heavily Moderated; Previous thread
Spotted on Maryam Namazie is this video (which seems to have gone viral with over 6m hits), No Woman No Drive.
apropos of nothing, I really like Carolyn Hax as an advice columnist, and this was in her live chat last week. It’s in a response to a woman who is going nuts staying home with an infant.
All: Thank you for all the messages of support and all the hugs. They are much appreciated.
I apologise to all those whose significant posts I have missed. Once things are back to ‘normal’ I’ll try and keep up! However Alexandra (née Audley) dark baby one year old. Yay! I know I’m unfamiliar to you and somewhat late saying hi, but your child is 6 months younger than mine so I follow both children’s development with interest.
Talking of my daughter: she is finally out of hospital. It turns out that she had flu which became pneumonia. She had to have an oxygen mask for a week and various antibiotics. My wife and I took turns to stay with her during the night. It’s great to have her back home, but I’m struggling emotionally. I should be on a high, but I’m on an incredibly short fuse and back at work. I’m trying to keep away from people in general but some people specifically as I am likely to explode and I don’t want that. Maybe it’s lack of sleep, or pent up emotions, I don’t know. But I’m finding it tough.
The support I get from the louge is a source of great comfort. Considering how much of a newbie I am you are all very accepting and thoughtful.You are very much appreciated.
bassmike
It’s great news that everyone’s back at home and on the mend!
I hope the emotional struggle improves / subsides / gets sorted out sooner rather than later. You’ve been on a stress-high for a while, so it’ll probably take a little while to come back down and to be absolutely emotionally sure that all danger is past. The lack of sleep / down time (alone or with wife) doesn’t help.
*hugs* or *[other supportive gesture]* as preferred.
(And apropos of baby ages, it seems your daughter is about the same age as my youngest son… He’s an end-of-May (2012 edition) baby.)
rq: Thank you! Your son is just a little younger than my daughter as she’s an end of April 2012 birth.
Because I’m Canadian by birth, here’s some things that are Canadian, and here’s a very Canadian thing (except, as one of the comments points out, where’s the maple syrup and moose?).
And because flu season is nigh (that’s almost like the end of the world, right?), some flu vaccine myths get debunked. Here’s to herd immunity!
I don’t think her shift in modelling focus will
but it might make people think about gender and how we perceive it or present it in other ways.
carlie
Yup, I think I can agree with those 3 phases.
I need a nap, but they frown upon such practices while at work.
Kevin
Tell them it’s a necessary religious ritual, and that they’re discriminating against your little known sect of Daily Somnolence Christianity if they don’t let you nap or disturb you during your nap. Should work. I bear no responsibility for consequences.
… And Jesus slept.
Kevin In addition to rq’s suggestion, I’d recommend claiming to be Spanish-born, and a worshipper of Bast.
Then you can say you have to have your religiously- and culturally-mandated catnap/siesta.
Until they fire you for being a foreigner and pagan.
@CaitieCat / RQ:
I have enough cat paraphernalia around my cubicle to make it seem like I worship Bast.
Hooray! My mom’s move to a senior managed living home is done, she was at hospital for a checkup after chest pains (fortunately this was a false alarm) and while she was there for a day and a half we could move her things without disturbing her. She seems to have surprisingly few problems with adapting to the new environment.
Cat is also fine and has random pangs of running around for no particular reason. South Sweden, Denmark and parts of Germany were badly hit by a storm Sunday-Monday (Yes, I know by Florida standards a lot of felled trees and traffic chaos is nothing) but we were spared.
Clear, dark winter skies and the moon is not messing things up. Jupiter shines like a beacon.
Kevin, rq, KatieKat
if the felinoid AI combat droid in “Hilldiggers”* is looking for (terrrestrial) work, we could hire it to deal with anti-Bast discrimination.
Except what do you pay a self-repairing pugnacious nuclear-powered combat droid that can live in vacuum?
*by Neal Asher
Comment I got on Twitter the other day:
“After you finish nursing school, you’ll be “Esteleth, BA, RN, PhD”! You’ll be a BARN DOCTOR.”
Tragically, I did have to say that the rules say that as “RN” is not a degree but a license, it cannot be mingled in with a list of degrees. The correct format is “name, degrees, licenses.”
And, in any case, it’ll be “Esteleth, BA, BSN, PhD, RN.”
Esteleth
I get – “Babes in Phd, RUN!”
@Esteleth:
Aww, that’s no fun. You should be Esteleth: BARN DOCTOR!
In any case, after I start work as a nurse, I’ll almost certainly not list the PhD. If for no other reason than people would assume that I have a PhD in nursing science.
Esteleth- but that would be most likely a DNP, doctorate of nursing practice, right? That’s the most common one, I think. You might want to list it just to keep those uppity MDs in line. After all, all they had to do to be called “doctor” was memorize a lot, not do actual research. ;)
(I’m kidding and I love you, rorschach and dianne and all the other MDs who post here)
Ugh. For the anxiety workshop-group-thingy that I’m part of, we’re supposed to do breathing exercises this week. Just sitting and breathing and trying to relax. It is not going well.
I’m going to do my homework as assigned, but ugh. After I finished the exercise this morning, I had to curl up into the tightest ball possible for a few minutes to feel better again. All that pretending-that-I’m-not-tense is hard work and seems to have a rebound effect. (I know I’ll probably get better at it. It just feels icky now.)
I’m hoping next week will include exercises for people who have to trick their brains into relaxing. That’s what I need. I need to be thinking about something else and not noticing that I’m chilling out. Unfortunately, I can’t spend every waking moment swimming laps, and that’s the only thing that really works for me right now.
Taking one of my vacation days as a “sanity day”. Between the Redhead wanting to go to a gem and mineral show Saturday, and the Ghosties/Ghoulies Sunday, I couldn’t get my normal weekend work done. Then she had an opera (Otello) last night, and I didn’t get to bed until after 2 am. Needed some sleep.
So now, I get to pick up the car with the new water pump from the repair shop, get a headlight and install it on the other car, and get some blood drawn at the hospital. Then I can sit down and rest for a few minutes before starting laundry.
Esteleth @ 514:
See, I read that as “Baby basin, Ephedrine”.
Lynna@495 Jumping Jehosaphat, WTF!?! I’m so glad that I never allowed LinkedIn to trick me in to having anything to do with them. I keep hearing stories of how they scrape this or that (people’s contact list, etc) and send out spam, but that really, really sounds beyond the pale.
Crip Dyke@499
Maybe this is, as you say, trans* 101 [sorry if it is so] but is this “safe public bathrooms” (just?) the desire to use whichever existing facilities that you feel most comfortable with? Because I’ve never understood the concern people have with this.
carlie@502 re: Carolyn Hax. Early on in her splashy debut I stumbled across a few columns that I thought were egregiously stupid and wrote her off completely. I take it she’s improved.
bassmike Glad to her about your daughter’s improvement.
birgerjohansson Some how I read that last line as “Jupiter shiles like bacon”, had to do a double take to see if there was a cat taped to it. Perhaps my mind isn’t quite as clear as I’d hoped … still a bit wobbly after being out of commission for four days.
Nerd of Redhead Where’s the gem and mineral show? Given the lack of family “fun stuff” the last several weekends (2 of them w/ me working + 1 sick) I’d like to get out this next weekend. Hopefully we’ll get to visit Mathhessen and Starved Rock State Parks, but such a show might be a handy fallback in case of bad weather. Oh, drat. I see you meant it was last weekend… My wife sees Parsival on the 9th.
dontpanic – maybe you were reading during the midst of her divorce, or right after she had the twins? I can’t remember when I started reading her, but she’s always been pretty solid from my perspective. Might be worth another look to see if you think she’s any better now.
Nutmeg – I have no idea if it would be relevant to you, but there were two big things that kept me from ever being able to relax, no matter what the exercise, until I worked those things out.
1. There is so damned much to do, and it all has to be done, and thinking and worrying about something feels like doing something about it, so constantly worrying about it means being productive and if I’m not always being productive then I’m a complete slacker.
2. I don’t deserve to relax, ever, because of all of these x reasons. I am fundamentally a loser of a person, and everything that needs done is my responsibility, and I am obligated to do all of these things, because otherwise I am not Good Enough, and I must work hard to become Good Enough because I sure as hell am not now, and don’t deserve anything that would make my own life better in any way.
I couldn’t ever do relaxation exercises, because of 1 and 2, and wasn’t until my therapist and I started tackling especially 2 (since 1 kind of follows from 2), and then it got easier.
Congrats, birgerjohansson, on the run of goodness!
So glad your daughter is home, bassmike. It will take awhile to readjust, definitely.
dontpanic, I understood that to be a reference to the fact that there are piece-of-shit bigots who will react so violently to encountering a transperson in the “wrong” bathroom that they will assault them and endanger their lives (and of course there is a different degree of privacy in a bathroom. People look at each other differently. And some men’s bathrooms don’t have many stalls, or maybe it would look strange to use a stall only to pee. And what about fixing your makeup, etc. etc.)
Yes, Carlie, that is what a doctorate in nursing generally is. And I don’t have one of those (my Ph.D. is a doctorate in research in biochemistry). *shrug*
carlie:
That is helpful, thank you. I’m glad that you’ve made some progress on those issues.
I’ve been thinking a bit about why I can’t do these exercises without freaking out. I’ve definitely got some of your problem #1 going on. And there’s also a variation on that:
1a. There are so many bad things that could happen, and no one but me will stop them. Other people are either irresponsible because they aren’t worried about all the bad things, or they’re causing the bad things to happen. I have to be constantly vigilant so that I can prevent all of the bad things from happening. If I relax, I won’t notice bad things happening until it’s too late to stop them.
Yeah, my brain hates me. It is reassuring to know that other people have the same problems, though.
*passes some spoons and energy-replenishing snacks/beverages to Nerd*
The Redhead is extremely lucky to have you in her life. Take care of yourself too.
opposablethumbs@524, I guess that’s what I thought it meant; just that I don’t “get” (as in understand) those bigots at all. Its a bathroom: you go in, you do your business, you get out. What should anyone care with the other people sharing that space as long as they’re not actively interacting with you? If said bigot is creepily checking out everyone else doing their thing, they should just stop. I guess it’s all part of that authoritarian “your business is my business” thing that so many exhibit in so many tiresome ways. I’m sorry for all those affected by such crap.
@dontpanic:
Though physical assaults are rare on a per-use basis, being visibly trans in a place where you have no history (like one’s own workplace, where an ongoing personal effort can transform the specific situation) does not allow one to use public restrooms on the same basis as others. Nor, being visibly trans*, are the risks reduced by limiting oneself to the bathroom that would be expected from one’s birth certificate.
From deliberate actions to deny equal welcoming – including staring and judging comments – to trying to humiliate/insult someone, to trying to get someone to leave because of social consequences, to getting authority to arrest/detain/compel departure, to violent assault, there is a range of tactics employed against trans* people in gendered public restrooms. Moreover, the lesser tactics always implicitly contain the threat of the greater tactics.
To be visibly trans* in a gendered public bathroom is to be unsafe from these things. A trans* person harassing a cis* person for using a gendered public bathroom would be considered insane and dangerous, themselves subject to intervention of authority to protect the victim. A cis* person harassing a trans* person is considered justified and entitled to authorities aid to the victimizer, up to and sometimes even including perpetrators of physical assault.
It is what it is, but I’ve never heard of a movement – even one as fringe as refusing to get married until marriage equality is implemented – of persons declining to use gendered public bathrooms. Why is that?
Cozy time. It’s a rainy afternoon, the laundry is
Damn this touchscreen shit.
There’s a cat on my chest, a dog under my elbow, another dog and another cat on the bed with us, it is raining, the laundry is running and the garbage truck just left. My bowels are still in an uproar, but this is nice.
Then a cellphone rings and a teenager wakes up …..
Nerd of Redhead
Actually, they are all over. Last week’s was in Gurnee, Il, a few miles from where we live, sponsored by the Lake County Gem and Mineral Society. The big one here in Chiwaukee is the Chicago G&MS show over Memorial day weekend, held at the Du Page county fairgrounds.
Use Google with “gem and mineral show” and add a local county/city to limit the search to find one in your area. I believe there is one in Milwaukee area shortly, based on what the presenters said.
carlie and Nutmeg,
Your problems with relaxing sound sadly familiar – sometimes it seems that the moment I sit down and stop running around trying to Do All The Things, a big black cloud descends on me.
Nutmeg, your 1a is just like me.
I’m going to read and try to remember all your helpful tips for relaxing, because I really could use them. Thanks, both of you.
bassmike – I’m glad to hear your daughter is home. *hugs, chocolate, and support*
birgerjohansson – I’m happy to hear your mother’s move went smoothly/is over, and that she is adapting well to her new environment.
Nutmeg:
If you learn any of these, I’d be very happy to learn how to do this. Good luck with your workshop.
Nerd – *hugs and chocolate* Please remember to take care of yourself too.
Menyambal – I hope you feel better soon, but I’m glad your animal companions are keeping you company. I miss having a cat on my chest; my current cat Chloe doesn’t do that.
It’s happened a few times now, but the first time my Spouse and I talked about it, it was a revelation to both of us. It was well over a decade into our marriage, but had never quite come up how differently we think all the time and how much my way of thinking contributed to my constant stress levels. One time we were talking about some topic, and I rattled off every other thing that was remotely related to that topic that was an issue either right then or in the near future or in the intermediate future, probably about 10 things. He was floored and couldn’t understand how I could be worried about so many things at once and I was all “how can you NOT be thinking about all of these things all of the time?! This is why I don’t sleep at night!!”
FWIW, my chronic insomnia is strongly related with the “can’t turn my brain off” anxiety. When there’s something specific – and there usually is – to be worried about (cable bill, rent, meds, finding more clients to make the first three less scary), then I rotate in what I like to call a viscous circle, because I can’t get out of it once I’m in it. Though it’s really more of an inward spiral than a circle.
So, for me, prevention is the answer. I’ve discovered that having something on the TV or computer that I know really well – for me, Firefly, BSG, Doctor Who – and that doesn’t contain anything triggering (which is why Criminal Minds isn’t on the list), can be a soother. The better I know the episode(s), the better overall. Ideally, I know it so well that I can say the words along with it (BSG miniseries, a few Dr Who episodes), then it becomes just a comforting recitation, like a mantra, and soon I’m asleep. It also works (for me) to put the Very Familiar Thing in a different language that I understand, because as a linguist I find that absorbing.
Reading can work, if I’m reading just the right thing, but it’s risky, because I can get caught up in reading and then miss the whole night’s sleep, usually noticing around dawn.
Also, powerful meds can help. :D
Crip Dyke yes, I’m intellectually aware of the concept and range of actions of the bigots. And oppose them — though I’ve never encountered such an instance in person so mostly it’s give vocal support for people to make their own free choices without coersion.
I just can’t fundamentally grasp why these people care. But then a lot of things people give a “shit” (so to speak) about boggle me as well — partly it’s probably my non-NT-ness and partly a general “no skin off my back” attitude on my part. Why trans* people care, I get … the threats are directed at them. How someone’s choice of bathroom personally affects anyone other than themselves … I don’t.
I’m sorry that anyone has to put up with such behaviour from others. To the extent that you’ve suffered any repercussions from your choices in this regard, I’m sorry and sad on your behalf.
Here have a cat picture
Insomnia caused by anxiety? Ahh, I know it well. :(
What sometimes works for me is putting the local classical radio station on quietly in the background.
Perhaps this could use Pharyngulating?
CaitieCat, for me the go-to-sleep-movie is Trinity and Beyond: The Atomic Bomb Movie. As horrendous as nuclear weapons are, I find the explosions mesmerising and Shatners voice soothing…
Ugh, another episode in the continuing “walk” argument. The Redhead complains she doesn’t walk enough. She says I should be ready to walk her every day. I say under those conditions, when I am ready to walk her with the course set up, she isn’t ready to walk for various reasons and it becomes a waste of my time. Therefore, I say she should TELL me when she is ready to walk, and do so once I get the course set up. It doesn’t matter what I have to do, I will adapt….she sees that as saying “I don’t want to walk you, never improve”. Somebody explain what is going on here. It makes no sense to me.
From my perspective, it is who is in control. Her or me? It should be her.
For more information, the Redhead is also afraid to wake me at night for commode duty, etc. From my perspective, she should be free to call, even a couple of times a night, she but should give me appropriate time to sleep. Funny how that means her getting to be a bit earlier, which means me going to sleep a bit earlier than now….
Nerd – my completely uninformed guess is that to her, telling you that it’s time to get things ready to walk feels like an imposition/order, whereas you getting it all set up yourself is on your own timetable and less of her demanding what to do.
All I can say is that I’ve been so impressed with you both, based on all of the things you post about yourselves. I know you probably hold back on some of the uglier and more frustrating stuff, but you’ve gone through more troubles together than many couples do in a lifetime and show such a good attitude about it all. You’re amazing.
WeedMonkey, that would probably do it for me, if it had the Dr. Strangelove ending theme version…explosions and pretty song. :)
UnknownEric, classical music is also good, but like the TV, it has to be stuff I already know. New stuff is too fascinating, and is a great way to make sure I *never* go to sleep. Anything engaging my learning faculty is a Very Bad Idea when sleep is the goal.
One I’d forgotten, I used to use when I was in university and studying Russian and German lit, I would recite poems I’d learnt over and over, and the recitation would often put me out. The bad part of that is that now, some of my favourite poetry* can be a bit soporific.
I know the BSG miniseries’ first hour and a half or so perfectly, I can say pretty much every line along with the actor, pauses, tones of voice, you name it. It’s a rotten thing to do with a show you like, but sleep is more important, and I don’t tend to use my favourite episodes for it.
* Primary choice, Anna Akhmatova (my favourite poet, bar none), Летний Сад (The Summer Garden), a gorgeously multi-layered piece of nostalgic love for St Petersburg. My best prof in Russian was an emigrée from St. P, with the most wonderful accent, given I was very used to Muscovites who’d been all my teachers before that. I still have a Moskvichka accent when I speak Russian, despite dear Nina Alexeevna’s best efforts to instil a cultured St.P accent in us. She made us memorize one poem a week, and recite them in our small class for each other, and would “correct” our accent when we failed to conform to her very exacting standards. Wonderful teacher, she’s probably passed by now, was in poor health in her late 60s then, and it was over twenty years ago.
*hugs* for the HugTruck!! Self-serve!
carlie
Just so you know you’re good enough. Back when I was naming roses, you said to pick a weedy one for you. Well, I’ll have you know I picked a weedy one… but only because, once it bloomed, it had the most amazing flower in the most fantastic shade of bright fuchsia/magenta that I’d never imagined a rose could possibly have. So I named it the carlie rose.
I can’t prove it, because the camera (on phone and off) has been broken since mid-summer and I didn’t get a photo. But it’s still out there, and I have every intention of seeing it survive until next spring and beyond.
CaitieCat
I see you are a great admirer of BSG (the miniseries), too. *fistbump* I don’t know if I can recite it verbatim from memory anymore, but I take pride in the fact that I got aaaallll my siblings addicted to it, too.
My go-to anti-anxiety movie has been Gladiator for quite some time. I’m not sure why, but it has a lot to do with the music.
That movie, and the old Star Wars.
dontpanic
I’m with you on the incomprehension. I know people take issue with other people, but I just can’t fathom why. Why it should matter so much, why it does, why why why…
Menyambal
Feel better soon!
Nerd
Good luck with walking the Redhead. I hope a mutually beneficial solution is reached soon!
Anne D: Thanks for confirming that I’m not the only one who has the “I and I alone must prevent all the bad things!” thought pattern. I was a little worried that it was just me and I’m crazier than I realized.
Hekuni Cat:
Well, damned if I know what tricks to use to make the exercises work for me. I might experiment once I’ve had more practice with the basic form. But in general, for tricking my brain into not freaking out, I find two kind of opposite things help.
1. Mild distraction. When I was writing my thesis, putting words on the blank page or making edits to a previous version was pretty much the most terrifying thing ever. It was awful until I started listening to music while writing. I found that if I had some music going, the part of my brain that’s normally devoted to freaking out would go, “Hey! Music!” and get caught up in the patterns. That would allow the rest of my brain to focus and not be so scared of the task at hand. For me, classical or instrumental stuff, played through earbuds that block out ambient noise, works best. I use the 8-tracks site a lot for this.
2. Complete, blocking-out-the-world focus. I don’t know how to make this happen on demand, but in a few situations I will get really hyper-focused, and I’ll be much calmer afterwards. I noticed it when I was working a crazy-stressful job as a camp counsellor in high school. Belaying at the climbing wall was my favourite activity because I had to be completely focused and it was almost like having a break. I also get like this when birdwatching and doing math.
rq – that sounds like a beautiful rose! Now I has an embarrassed. But really, that’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me. Thank you. :)
I’m lucky that my anxiety issues rarely cause major loss of sleep. I generally just have to wait until I’m exhausted enough to fall asleep within a few minutes. If I try to go to sleep before that point, I often get caught up in worrying, and then I’m awake for much longer. Of course, the anxiety and my habit of not sleeping until exhausted both contribute to the night terrors, but at least those aren’t too frequent.
Like a bunch of others here, I like to re-watch well-known episodes of favourite shows when I’m stressed out. I find that when I’m feeling anxious or blue, I don’t want any new material to think about.
When I have trouble sleeping because of what I call the brain squirrels, I use a nice, soothing audiobook under my pillow. I have P G Wodehouse books, mostly, and use the same one for months.
Dammit, I used to lie half-awake inventing, designing and writing. Now I just worry, and feel frustrated, and worry about that. I almost always need my audiobook.
During the day I sing to keep from thinking.
Damnation.
@don’tpanic:
In my 529, I was responding to this (especially the bold, italic part) in your 522:
where you addressed me directly, not your 528 to opposable thumbs.
Why do people care? For a number of reasons, but one is this: your behavior changes not only with location (act differently in school than when meeting the head of state of your country than when you’re cooking breakfast for a lover where the two of you are otherwise alone in the house), but also with the gender/s of the person/s with whom you are interacting. It is easily shown that women make eye contact with other women for different amounts of time than they do with men, given a social situation otherwise as similar as possible. If such details of our behavior are changing with gender context, imagine you suddenly don’t know the gender rules: how does a woman interact with a man in a woman’s restroom? Answer: she doesn’t. Thus to the gender-naive, visibly trans* persons in a gendered public bathroom directly affects – in a negative way – others by rendering them unable to be certain of the social rules, thus rendering them “vulnerable” in a social sense.
From their point of view, it’s a “logical” reaction. It’s not rational in general, but it is logical to push back against effects that render one vulnerable. The rationality of it, however, depends on the rationality of the gender system, which utterly fails.
I’m that way with books. It’s a sign of getting really bad in stress world when I break out the Little House on the Prairie and the Wrinkle in Time series.
I keep wanting to buy a season or two of Bob Ross to have something to watch to de-stress. They occasionally have a half-price sale, so I keep thinking about jumping in there. :)
rq:
Heh, I got my sister and husband addicted to it.
*
I’m another massive worrier.
carlie @ 537:
This sounds exactly like a conversation my husband and I had. On the one hand, I feel terrible asking my husband to take on some of my worries because it’s no fun thinking about these things all the time and if he doesn’t do it naturally, I don’t want him to start on my behalf. On the other hand, I really need to not be the only one thinking of certain things. It’s just too much. And then I get crippled by the anxiety and I can’t figure out how to start and I can’t do everything I need to do anyway so I’ll just sit here and worry. In truth, I actually do get the necessary things done because of it and they get done pretty early, too, because I’d worry myself silly if they didn’t. But that leaves no emotional energy for the things that aren’t quite necessary but would be pretty cool to get done.
My go-to fall asleep movie used to be Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. The tone really worked for me. But now, almost every night, I watch ASMR videos or Let’s Plays. I have to keep my mind occupied and those are engaging enough that I’m distracted away from worrying but not important enough for me to care if I fall asleep before they’re over. Plus, if I use my sleep headphones, I can turn on my side and drift off…..
*
Nutmeg:
I tend to not like breathing exercises either, but I’ve found that for me it’s mostly because I’ve only ever done them when someone else was guiding it. As I’ve realized, it’s the guided part I really dislike. The other person’s breathing pace almost never matches mine. I find myself breathing faster than feels relaxing to speed up or getting caught in the middle of a second breath when they want to move on because I finished earlier than they did. Also, it reminds me of being told to breathe when I go to the doctor and I don’t like doctor visits, so the association is unpleasant.
Thanks for the good wishes, folks. I got out to the grocery store and found thick pork steaks on sale. I indulged, and fried one up. I did not share with the pets.
As for genders and bathrooms, it seems obvious to go into the one you are dressed for, and everyone mind their own business. Bathrooms should be built for as much privacy as possible. There should be one-person bathrooms anywhere there are complications. (One school I was at was all in a tizzy about how to deal with trans students, and nobody thought of redesignating one of the staff rooms … there are many kids who shouldn’t be allowed to use restrooms with others, trouble-makers, I mean, so a single-user room with limited admission would be handy for them, too.)
carlie:
Yep. For me, it’s Harry Potter for moderate stress, and Tamora Pierce or Robin McKinley for really tough times.
Actually the music in the aforementioned Trinity and Beyond is one of the strong points in the film. Composed by William Stromberg, performed by Moscow Symphony Orchestra, it’s powerful but not overwhelming.
Nutmeg @557,
Now I’m curious – which McKinleys are your comfort book choices? Because I have several myself – Spindle’s End (Rosie reminds me of the Daughters at that age, which makes me giggle), Chalice, Deerskin and just lately Shadows. I have no idea why, but they’re soothing and reassuring.
I also find myself rereading Seanan McGuire, Cranford and some of Jane Austen when my brain hurts. We have a bookcase headboard to our bed, which I’ve filled with my comfort books. Fortunately Husband prefers reading in his comfy chair, so his books are in the living room.
Anne D: It’s usually Sunshine for me. I don’t have paper copies of any of her other books right now. And Sunshine is my favourite. I don’t think I’ve read Shadows – I’ll have to find a copy.
Nutmeg: Shadows just came out. I like Sunshine, too.
My ‘comfort reading’ is usually short stories that I read for the first time in the mid 1970s.
Just like a lullaby.
bassmike, glad that your little one is home, and doing better.
Dessert topping and floor wax. You’ve been under a lot of stress. Controlled Decompression can be hard.
Don’t leave any bodies where just anyone can stumble over them, and you should be okay.
:D
–
*dancedancedance*
Son is coming to part of Skepticon with me!!!!
*dancedancedance*
–
rq, thanks for the linky to the flu myth debunkment. I’ve posted it to my Farcebork page for my crunchier, more granola-esque friends to ignore.
:P
And on the third day, He rose.
–
Glad to hear your mother’s move went well (though probably not entirely painlessly) birgerjohansson. Also glad to hear that Cat is fine and ripping around the way cats do. Nature of the beast, and alla that.
:)
–
*hugs* for Nutmeg.
At first glance, I read “anxiety workshop-group-thingy” as “anxiety-worship group thingy”.
:)
–
CaitieCat:
Brain time-shares! ‘Cause it sure sounds like you’re using mine…or it’s using you….
On accounta being thick and sticky?
:)
I call it “circling the drain”, because it never goes anywhere but down. Obscene *slurrrping* “sounds” optional.
I used to use a little wine…but these days, have to limit the alcohol intake.
The meds don’t like it.
–
Nerd, all this stuff that carlie says.
–
Nerd
I’ve edited and deleted and re-edited several wisdom-spewing comments. feh
just have some *hugs* for you and Redhead and all of your support people
Question: Does a sentence “without possibility of parole” really mean what it says?
–
OK
Who has heard of this?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pen_spinning
for example
chigau, I had no idea that this was a thing.
–
cicely
It’s new to me, too.
Tiny break-dancing for Japanese office-grunts?
Well, I had seen pen-spinning, but not for years and never thought it was a thing. Gotta love the internet and Japan.
There’s a cane-twirling move I once saw and had to copy. It was just a casual thing done by Hugh Laurie as Bertie Wooster, before he was Dr. House, who leans on a cane all day. I dunno if House has ever done it. (It annoyed the crap out of my daughter, who called it a pimp roll, so I really worked on it.)
If you want some comfort video, find Jeeves and Wooster. Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry doing P G Wodehouse and having a good time.
Nutmeg – I go for favorite books or tv series too when I’m stressing.
cicely:
Hooray! Also, *pouncehug*
rq – *pouncehug*
chigau, it reminds me more of office-capable baton twirling.
–
*returnpouncehug* at Hekuni Cat.
–
chigau, I knew it was a thing, I never realised that some places actually recognise it as a sport!!
—
Generally if I’m stressed enough to need a distraction, you’ll find me buried undera pile of paper cranes. Books are dangerous. I have to get up at 5am, and it’s quite easy for me to forget that I need to, y’know, put the book *down*.
—
So, this place is the broadest collection of opinions worth listening to that I know, and I’ve also seen a few interesting food conversations, so I’ll just throw a question out there. Anyone got any suggestions on good vegetarian recipes for someone who generally prefers a good piece of meat to just about any vegetables? Possibly involving tofu?
cicely
jste #572
Slab-o-meat is hard to fake.
If it’s something with ground beef (like a big pot of chili) then chopped tofu is a pretty easy replacement.
Yeah. I was thinking less “Here, this almost fakes a slab of meat” and more “this is something you might also enjoy.” ;)
Everyone
Watch this video link at Cuttlefish’s place
https://proxy.freethought.online/cuttlefish/2013/10/31/true-facts-about-the-cuttlefish/#comment-93501
@jste
If this person likes mushrooms, try herbed polenta slices topped with roasted portobellos, tomato sauce and lots of mild, fresh cheese. A meal like that will be light on genuine veggies but heavy on the umami and animal-fat flavorings that make meat popular. And it should be delicious in its own right.
Crip Dyke@552. Okay, thanks for the 101 (102 perhaps?). Still, at some level I’m back to rq‘s 547 in a failure to grok “why”.
Though as for the bulk of what you said, it’s possible current circumstances might have me better understanding some of the eye contact, etc bit you’re saying. I think one of my former bosses is transitioning, perhaps, maybe, possibly.
I’m not close enough to him (I’ll stick with that until I know otherwise) to inquire, but to my mind there’s been the feminizing of clothes, addition of earings (both ears), other signs. Meeting them in the elevator I found myself consciously trying not to stare. Like the Steve Martin Roxanne movie sequence:
I’m fine with whatever is up with him and obviously wish him no ill-will, but did I feel guilty for pseudo-staring (I didn’t proceed to the full-on stare stage) and felt bad that I might have made him uncomfortable in any way.
_____________________________________________________________
Arrgh! So, first day back from 4 days sick (2 missed work days). Feeling maybe 70% and even further behind than usual. Deputy Group Leader drops by my office at 3pm to ask “what’s the title of your 30 minute talk tomorrow at 1pm?”. “Ah. I thought X was giving the talk on our project?” “No, he’s giving a talk on his and Y’s part of the project; you’re supposed to have a separate talk on your aspects.” Ugh.
Well, I rejiggered a previous talk (changing emphasis + adding/subtracting material) and just finished a little while ago. And I’ve run it though … at least in my head for material not directly on the slides (’cause just reading huge blocks of text slides is freaking boring everyone!).
Now to quiet my mind so I can sleep. Though no doubt I’ll spend the night re-running it in my head. With added anxiety about not getting enough sleep and still recovering (skipped dinner tonight as I did yesterday, didn’t feel like eating — hey, I had something for breakfast and lunch).
_____________________________________________________________
chigau@566 pen spinning: checked the wiki page (don’t usually do youtubes). Yeah, I’m not sure I ever knew it was a “thing”, but I’ve seen it — can’t remember where or even whether it was in person or movies. I’ve tried it a few times, thought it might be a cool fidget activity, but I’m not dexterous to pull it off
cicely
What a lazy bum!
(May your crunchy granola friends ignore the link soundly. Mine were very good at ignoring my last vaccine link… So good, in fact, that I posted this one up for them as well. I have not yet moved into directly-on-their-wall territory, but Ah’m thinkin’ about it.)
Hekuni Cat
*sleepypouncehugs* (It is, after all, morning-before-tea = not real morning yet!)
re: pen spinning
(Forgive me for reading it wrong the first time, it’s morning.)
I had a friend who did a lower-grade version of this while figuring math and/or physics problems. It was veeery distracting.
dontpanic
Good luck with the presentation!
+++
I think I’m going to a blood-stain analysis workshop next week, if I can 100% convince Husband that, for three days, we can switch work schedules (me – day, him – evening). *fingers crossed*
Breast Cancer Awareness month is fast approaching (tomorrow? what?). Here’s some breast cancer awareness month sexism awareness. So that’s why all those self-exam videos narrated by men have been bothering me…
dontpanic, I will say the sad thing, that you probably did make your former boss uncomfortable if he’s transitioning. I know when I started doing the “little femmey stuff I could get away with”, like shaving my legs (“I’m biking to keep up my fitness off-season, and I don’t wanna get road-pizza’d”) or shaping my eyebrows slightly, or wearing my (then nearly waist-length) hair in a french braid, with a scrunchy that matched both my shirt and boat shoes, the little stuff.
The staring didn’t upset me much initially, but once I’d transitioned for proper, staring became terrifying. Because staring is (IME, Y(L/100km)MV) always the first stage when someone’s going to initiate some form of abuse, whether verbal or physical. So being stared at, for a long time, creeped me out no end, and it’s still a bit hard to get used to. I’m now okay with making eye contact while conversing, and I’ve grown a lot less immediately freaked out when it does happen, not least because matching ID makes part of the problem less bothersome. Few people anymore misgender me in person, which is a nice place to be at. When I first transitioned, my goals were much lower. In the first couple of months, I really just wanted to be able to go out, do what needed doing, and come home, without being verbally or physically abused. My first goal was that I should make at least one outing in two without being misgendered.
That took maybe three months or so, including a rather intense two-week session where I pretty much locked myself in my room with the Indigo Girls‘ album Rites of Passage, and didn’t come out until I could match Amy Ray’s voice note for note (the voice I still use today; it’s like my old one, which was a tenor/baritone, only with the bottom half of the range chopped off). Other people say they like it, which i always find odd, because in my head I sound like crap.
After that, my next goal was that 3/4 of my outings would have no less than 3/4 of the people I met gendering me correctly; that was another three months or so.
The last goal I set took a fair bit longer, that was 90/90, which meant that ‘90% of my outings, 90% of people are reading me right’.
But in all that, I very quickly learnt that people who stared and weren’t smiling were potentially dangerous, because a series of incidents of beatings on the street and the like were preceded by non-smiling stares. Now I notice people staring at me, every time it happens. It’s a survival skill.
So, if your old boss is transitioning, then yes, there’s a decent chance you kinda freaked ’em out by staring some. IMNVHO, the easiest way to disarm your stare is with eye contact and a genuine warm smile, the kind that reaches your eyes. The other possible disarm after realizing you’ve been staring could be a nice compliment, “Oh, sorry for staring, you just have really remarkable features, my apologies.” This is a polite fiction that can let you both out of the Awkward Bag when it drops on you.
Last day at work. Weird.
I’ve been here less than a year, but I got used to it and now I’m afraid of doing the “new at the job, getting to know people and work” all over again.
Hi folks
Kinda ‘rupt
bassmike
I’m glad your little one is back home again.
As for being on a short fuse: shouting at inanimate objects like the washing machine helps.
And you can vent here, that helps, too. Chewtoys may be also appropriate anger-reliefs.
Cripdyke
Did I tell you you rock lately?
+++
Yay for socialised healthcare. I just got: Thyroxin, anti-gastritis medication, anti-shit -yourself medication and a flu shot. Out of the pocket? around 10$…
+++
And this week from the department of “being a member of a diadvantaged group doesn’t necessarily make you more aware”: One of the people who need to access the building via the ramp is currently parking so that no one else can access it…
On the subject of brains and sleep.
Women in science you should probably know. Well, ‘should’ is the key word here… Spending time looking all of them up. I feel uneducated.
I know I posted this before, so I continue the theme with vintage Halloween costumes. This one ricochets all over the uncanny valley. (Warning for creepy images.)
Also, I previously misremembered November as breast cancer awareness month. Silly me. October is ending today.
Oh my. Those pics are reaaaally creepy.
Good morning.
Not feeling good. Calling in sick. Heading back to bed.
Sleep well, Oggie.
@rq:
There are a large number of women in science that I don’t know, and that’s really sad. History is white-washed and male-washed, so I imagine we’ve lost a lot of that knowledge because “oh, she’s just a lady” or “oh, he’s just a negro” sort of things…
I made kitty litter cake
It looks disgusting
It’s probably gorgeous
Giliell
… Kitty litter cake? Photo or recipe, please.
Kevin
You know what? I was going through that list of women (of whom I knew so little), and it struck me that they were all white – more than that, they were all from a very narrow set of backgrounds (United Kingdom/Ireland, Germany/Austria, with a dash of America…). Where’s the rest of the world? I mean, there’s 12 women in that photo. You’d think at least one would be of colour, from a completely different set of cultural backgrounds…
Never mind, I googled that, too. Ew. :D I didn’t think it would be that realistic.
@rq:
Good point. Even though that gives a good example of women in science, there’s still all white, European women.
via Ed, reports on how having judges elected through dark-moneyed campaigns causes them to act Tough On Crime: source
From an earlier article on Wisconsin specifically: source
The articles have PDF reports available.
via Ed, reports on how having judges elected through dark-moneyed campaigns causes them to act Tough On Crime: source
From an earlier article on Wisconsin specifically: source
[asterisk mine]
The articles have PDF reports available.
aaaand in not entirely unrelated news:
http://www.salon.com/2013/10/31/the_rights_war_on_pregnant_women/
And the war on workers:
http://www.salon.com/2013/10/31/newts_revenge_child_labor_makes_a_comeback/
Sheesh. Is there any right-wing anti-everything wave of policies that ISN’T backed by Koch dark money via ALEC, except maybe the War on Gays?
Hi folks.
Was cruising down the Lounge doin’ about 45 mph, catching up, when I came screeching to a halt.
kitty litter cake???!!!
****
Bassmike:
Glad to hear the little one is back home.
Re: short fuse–Check out the Thunderdome (if you don’t already). When we get a visit from a creationist or anti-feminist, it can be great for relieving stress and short fuses.
Tony – I avoid Thunderdome like the plague – every time I’ve wandered in I seem to step in something immediately and have to retreat with my tail between my legs. ;)
http://www.nasa.gov/content/goddard/nasa-releases-movie-of-suns-canyon-of-fire/index.html#.UnJ5iaX-Cf0
http://www.scientificcomputing.com/news/2013/10/solar-filament-eruption-creates-canyon-fire#.UnJ6k6X-Cf0
Lovely canyon of fire.
Paging Caine, Pteryxx, mouthyb, Tethys, Cerberus, woodsong, Giliell, NightShadeQueen, Crip Dyke, Sally Strange, PatrickG, cactusren, Bicarbonate and anyone I may have missed from the Maryville thread who expressed interest:
UPDATE re: The Fault Line Project.
1-A trusted friend with web development experience is investigating web architecture and related resources for us.
2-I am also in the process of securing legal representation for trademark filing, copyright counseling (so as not to run afoul of any copyright issues with The It Gets Better Project) and assistance setting up a 501(c)(3) charitable organization. To that end, we would need people willing to serve as board members. I realize this is a big ask, given the backlash we know we can expect from the Misogyny Brigades simply for being victim advocates. It would be particularly helpful if applicants have either non-profit board experience and/or sexual assault advocacy experience and/or suicide prevention experience. Also: a well-armed private security force and a partner in Anonymous. : |
If you or anyone you know might be interested in serving on The Fault Line Project board, please let me know or feel free to put them in touch with me directly: irisvpluym AT gmail d0+ c0m. Shoot me a note there if you’d like to be updated by email going forward.
I probably won’t be able to check in at all today, because I’m making dozens of pumpkin cupcakes for a Halloween party tonight. Priorities: I haz them.
ugh… watching everybody I know in stylish Halloween costumes is just reinforcing how badly I fail at standing up for myself transness-wise.
It’s just annoying how I have no energy left to buy clothes, lent alone do any of the myriad other things that might actually allow me to socially transition. all that’s left is resentment and pipe dreams.
(and crip dyke, caitie cat, y’all are a great help.)
Dear thunk, I’m happy to ehart be of any help I e66 can. My e-mail addy is buried in that first sentence in bold, and will be complete with the addition of google’s mail domain.
Feel free to write any time. I have the same attitude to doing Trans 101 on demand as Crip Dyke does, but it does depend on who’s asking. When it’s someone trying to find a way to transition, that’s a lot easier for me to be available for 101 than when it’s a cis person trying to understand trans-ness.
Hallowe’en is a bittersweet time for a lot of trans* folk, because it often involves some misgendering as people think you’re “in costume” rather than “in your clothes”. But it also allows people pre-transition to have a night of being treated something like ourselves in public, and that can be hella powerful.
So yeah – you need help, thunk, I’m all over it, just ask. Also, some bent and wobbly hugs into the auto-serve hug machine’s hopper. :)
This business of right-wingers presenting horror stories about Obamacare, followed swiftly by people with working brains debunking said stories, has become a genre of its own. There are dozens of these stories and more are added hourly.
Of course the horror gets frequent rotation on Fox News etc., but the debunking gets little to no coverage.
http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/another-horror-story-another-debunking
Additional debunkings of Obamacare horror stories:
Salon link.
LA Times link.
Washington Post link.
awww thanks, caitie cat. *hugs back*
My main problem here is myself, and my transition anxiety didn’t even let me get a costume at all.
I have supportive friends like whoa… but internalised transphobia (to the point of sheer revulsion at other transpeople). how do I get past it?
but internalised transphobia (to the point of sheer revulsion at other transpeople). how do I get past it?
That’s a really hard one. In trying to understand my own feelings that way, part of what came to me is that spending time with other trans* people in public might undermine my ability to “pass”, because once people spot one of us, they often practice heightened scrutiny on anyone with us. Also, the more of us in one place at one time, the more it becomes a sort of target-rich environment for those who really hate us.
So for me, anyway, the “revulsion” was more about the likelihood of being misgendered, and the potential consequences of that happening in public. Since I realized that, I’ve come to have a number of friends who are trans*, and even one of my current partners (I’m poly) is trans*. But I had to become a lot more secure in my own identity before I could open up that much. Y(L/100km)MV.
Rep. Renee Ellmers, R-N.C, wants to revert to the old days when women paid more for insurance than men.
Having women alone pay the costs of maternity insurance is a good way to transfer wealth from women to men. Meanwhile, a man with prostate cancer can expect his treatment to be subsidized by women. Makes so much sense. /sarcasm.
Salon link.
@Lynna (#604)
I wonder how many of the people complaining about sharing the costs of producing babies are the same people who want to restrict birth control and prohibit abortions.
@Giliel, 583; thunk 599:
huh? Is there anything specific I’ve done for either of you lately? Or is this just having me around on Pharyngula generally? Obviously I’m pleased if I can be helpful.
Although I’m generally up for helping anyone in the Horde (non-financially, as I’m living off student loans and Ms Crip Dyke’s severance package right now), I do encourage you, specifically, thunk, to ask for help when you need it…and, more importantly, when you want it. We so stigmatize trans folk that it’s hard enough asking for others to pretty-please not misgender us in the public restroom for shits and giggles, that it can be hard to internalize the thought that we get to ask people to actually **assist** us in living trans and that yes, some people will actually gives us that help.
I think a lot of people around here are willing to be some people.
@irisvanderpluym
I founded a non-profit that ran gangbusters for 4 years and then limped on (to this day) b/c I stopped putting in the work to keep it going. I also served for a year on a local non-profit serving persons with disabilities. I’ve worked in shelter with a hotline for 8 years. I’ve consulted for shelters and hotlines for 16 years now, doing trainings on how to do integrated anti-oppression work (work that opposes multiple oppressions at a time while being a supplement to and not distraction from core mission, whatever that is), revising training manuals, that sort of thing. Also, I have a smattering of knowledge about the law in the US and Canada (but no practical business-org knowledge in either country, save bits I picked up during my incorporation process 15 years ago and which is both scanty and outdated now: I won’t take business orgs til 3rd year). My programming experience was years ago and not web or java based, so I think anything I might remember on that score would be pretty irrelevant to anything you want to do. I lack PR experience, and, generally, wouldn’t want to be involved in PR. I do have curriculum and writing experience, though, so creation of content used in a public campaign is something to which I could contribute. I have volunteer recruitment experience, but I wouldn’t want to exercise it as I just don’t feel like I have enough time for that. I’m willing to do committee work, of course, but I’m a bad fundraiser and have no strength in financial matters beyond ability to do math and drive a spreadsheet.
Given these strengths & weaknesses, I think I could be a useful contributor to such a board, though obviously some of the expertise you’re seeking is beyond me.
And, yes, its a lot to ask someone with a family in law school, but I’m willing: it’s important.
I will, of course, also e-mail this, but I wanted to publicly discuss what I had to offer – and my willingness – b/c I hope that others can think of complementary experience that they might bring, and that public commitment by one can inspire public commitment by others.
Like father like son. Ted Cruz’s father says the USA is a “Christian Nation,” and that President Obama should go back to Kenya. The US Constitution is a”revelation from God” according to Rafael Cruz.
This is not just another instance of “crazy relative says crazy stuff.” Ted Cruz uses his father as a source, as a campaign aide, and as a prominent speaker. Cruz holds his father up as an example of all that is right and holy. He cites and quotes him repeatedly.
The elder Cruz has become a conservative star as he runs around proclaiming that christians are “anointed” by God to “take dominion” of the world. None of this creepy separation of church and state for him.
Mother Jones link.
Dalillama, thanks! The Husband thinks that a sentence of “3 @99 year terms + 55 years, with no possibility of parole” is basically “10 to 15 years, then out with a slap on the wrist”.
Which would be bad.
Bad, bad, bad.
–
Courage, Beatrice. I’m sure you’ll do fine at New Job.
*hug*
–
rq, that brains and sleep cartoon is so awesome-and-true, I immediately posted it to my Farcebork.
–
*hugs & chikkensoop* for Ogvorbis.
–
*hugs* and support for thunk.
–
Crip Dyke, you are just all-round-and-generally awesome, and a real asset for the Hivemind.
:) :) :)
–
For Halloween — more horrifying tales of how Rafael Cruz shaped his family and, in particular, his son, Ted Cruz:
And there are those freaking Austrian economists again! They recently showed up in one of PZ’s posts about MRA nonsense.
Well, thank you cicely.
I actually thought about starting a blog recently, but decided that
1. a significant value of whatever I write here is that PZ’s work guarantees a bunch of people read me that wouldn’t otherwise
2. a significant value of whatever I write here is its place in dialog: in monolog I think it would be much less valuable.
3. I can’t guarantee to post consistently: I’m in school (and on student government) and that means random-length absences when things come up, when assignments are due, and when exams role around.
and,
4. I have no experience in web development: creating my own website would be a complete pain in my ass, and administering would be another.
I really value the idea of controlling the agenda so I get to talk about my own priorities in a way that would feel inappropriate and weird here, and I think I could write things that would be useful to people – things that really get discussed in very few places given some of my specialized background, but couldn’t justify the time as a new commitment and didn’t want to steal from my time with the Horde (from whom I gain a lot…another reason not to de-prioritize it in favor of website design).
So I decided to skip it and remain a faceless Horde member. Comments like yours (and Tony gave me a nice shout-out recently) makes me feel like I’ve really made the right decision.
my bad… Koch brothers *do* totally fund anti-gay groups too, they just are really quiet about it.
—
Miri’s latest on the importance of sex ed in combatting sexual violence is also part of Secular Woman’s sex ed series this month, including:
http://www.secularwoman.org/Pizza_and_Pregnancy_Tests
and http://www.secularwoman.org/A_Catholic_Girls_Calling_to_Sex_Ed
I also mentioned at Miri’s that sex ed shouldn’t be associated with just teenagers, as all kids right down to the very young deserve respect for their bodies and defense against the shaming effects of sexual violence.
How teaching kids about their genitalia can help prevent sex crimes
Zombie Attack at Hierakonpolis
–
Nah. It’s just that pyramids resist incoming cheese-seeking penguins, so the mildly deranged penguin resorted to other measures: Instead of tunneling into the cheese stores, have the residents open the doors and carry the cheese out. Removing the heads before reanimating them (all done using your basic remote brainz control technique) was just a precaution against them eating the cheese.
All a bit pointless, however. Pyramids may be great at sharpening razor blades (except, for some, the Occam brand), but are terrible at storing cheese. Most of what the headless residents carried out had to be dumped in the Sahara Forest.
Thus explaining the disappearance of the Sahara Forest and following desertification of the area; and just incidentally, explaining how “sahara”, once synonymous with “lush, dense forest”, came to mean “lifeless sand dunes”, and finally, “desert”.
–
Good evening
Crip Dyke
A general “I really like to read your posts, value your insights and the food for thoughts you’re giving”
thunk
*hugs*
Halloween food today
Kitty litter cake
Ogre snot cupcakes
Bug soup
Freshly baked bones
monster burgers
Sadly no pics
But Kitty litter cake is dead easy to make:
Make a basic sponge cake recipe. I added some extra vanilla and orange peel
Make custard.
Mix about 2/3 of your sponge cake broken down with the custard in the most kitty-litterish dish you have
Either use blue food colouring and mix a small part of the remaining sponge cake with it or just use blue sugar pearls like I did. Crumble rest of the sponge and blue sponge on top.
And now for the best part: use some bought chocolate cake. Roll it in your hand to make the turd and place on litter.
Happy Halloween!
@Giliel:
Thank you. The Horde is pretty amazing in general, lots of stuff I learn, and I look forward to reading a comment when I see your ‘nym on it.
============
As long as we’re giving shout-outs, I’m endlessly fascinated by the relationships between languages and words, and David M’s etymologies, translations, and linguistics posts give me multiple geekgasms.
Oh my god this baby is the cutest baby.
My evening so far:
(1) Get off work
(2) Buy groceries
(3) Get home, unpack groceries
(4) Wonder where handbag is
(5) Call grocery store
(6) Go back to store
(7) Get bag
Fortunately, nothing is missing.
6°C, winds gusting to 50km/h and rain.
How many Trick or Treaters are we going to have tonight?
http://www.salon.com/2013/10/31/what_witches_have_to_do_with_womens_health/
OMLOG.
Cosplaying as an MRA
and via Manboobz commenter katz: Libertarian costume!
Just got back from the tricks or treats. Child 2 wanted to go, even though he’s getting a bit old for it. It was drizzling the whole time, so I held the umbrella, but it’s surprisingly mild temps (almost 60). I got a little verklempt while we were out, thinking of how this is the neighborhood the kids have grown up in, and the only place they’ve ever known for the trick or treating. He went as Steve from Minecraft, which some people recognized, some didn’t, I heard one group saying “Where’s the guy with the box head? Oh, there he is!” and another saying “He’s a pixel man! Awesome! You go, pixel man!” and a little girl said “Mommy, he’s a grownup!” and the mom was all “No honey, he’s just a bigger kid”. He went until he was worn out, and he came home with a bunch of loot to eat and a bunch to exchange with us for nut-free versions.
2 ToTs.
O_o and thanks to a Salon article about women’s health care and witchcraft, now I know where Pratchett’s Monstrous Regiment got its title from.
And 2 collecting for the Campus Food Bank.
I just lost a crown.
Big cats playing with (i.e. destroying) pumpkins: youtube link
Dalillama #626
That sucks.
The last crown I lost, I swallowed.
There is just too much awesome on The Mary Sue tonight.
Upcoming DC superhero to be based on real-life teen activist
and squeeworthy costumes everywhere, including this little girl as all 11 Doctors.
I just had a customer ask where the camping store was in town.
Me: “It’s on this street, two blocks that way.”
Him: “Oh, so it’s a fair walk then.”
Me: “…..Uh, it’s two blocks?”
And to be clear: he walked into the store at a rapid pace without the slightest sign of a limp, hitch or disability and arrived at the counter with no shortness of breath. Perhaps he has some condition, but if so it was in no way obvious. What makes a reasonably fit adult think that two blocks is a fair walk?
And if two blocks is a fair walk, why bother with a camping store. Camping takes more energy than walking two blocks.
I was half listening to GirlChild and her friend talking this evening while I was preparing dinner. I heard GirlChild declare “horses are creepy.” 2 states away, and cicely has managed to affect my GirlChild.
Took my offspring trick-or-treating at Grandmas house. Her neighborhood is nice and safe and has sidewalks. We always provide Grandma with candy to give out at the door too. Some of the people over there were giving out whole full sized candy bars! The weather is oddly warm here too. In the 60’s but raining. I carried an umbrella and tried to keep my daughter dry. She told me that Batman doesn’t care if it is raining. This was also the first time I ever trick-or-treated from house to house at a run. Because Batman is fast! We got a workout and left Daddy and her brother behind as we flew from house to house.
When we got home the kids when through their candy and picked out candy to donate tomorrow for the drive. They pulled out stuff they didn’t want like Skiddles and Milk Duds but they also added in some
“Good Candy” too like Crunch bars and M&Ms. I have good kids.
Now we are in bed and I can finally surrender to my cold. Ugh. I feel miserable.
Hello Lounge Lizards,
What is your favorite Halloween costume that you wore, and when? Mine was in 1970. The film The Lion In Winter had been produced two years previous and I had watched it soooo many times… Peter O’Toole and Katherine Hepburn. Wonderful.
So I donned a bronze velvet suit and teased my hair up into a mane-esque thing. I fabricated a couple of appropriately feline ears from the feet of panty-hose (remember those horrible things), attached them, and sprayed canned snow all over my head and shoulders. I crafted a suitably leonine face with stage make-up. I went to a party of theater people and of course everyone immediately identified my “Lion in Winter”. It was grand fun. The costume prize winner that night was a very tall, very thin fellow who dressed himself in a bright pink leotard and tights and wore a folding director’s chair on his head. He was, of course, bubble gum stuck to the bottom of a chair.
Crudely Wrott, I just looked in and saw your news. I’m so terribly sorry to hear about your loss. Know that you’re in my thoughts. Invisible hugs to you and your child’s mother.
morgan@634, mine wasn’t particularly special ’cause it got created on the fly (10min or less!). I was living in a college dorm in ’82 and others insisted that I attend the Halloween party going on; I had no prior plans to do so, but I think pranking threats were made. So I went “semi-formal” with suit coat, dress shirt, tie over swim trunks. It was kind’a funny, though women kept lifting my coat tails up to see what was underneath which was a little weird for me. I think there was alcohol involved (mostly for them, not for me).
My memory doesn’t extend far enough back to remember the days when I could legitimately trick-or-treat so I can’t really comment on those…
Crip Dyke:
Funny that you mentioned the thought of blogging. I had been wondering if you had one. And now through the power of TeleNetPathy, you answered my question before I asked :)
****
FossilFishy:
Perhaps the guy simply had no idea what a _block_ is. Or, maybe an incorrect idea.
I give up (for the night).
Everything I do logs me out.
—
Hi Tony!
g’night Tony!
Morgan:
Sadly, I remember very little of my past. No memories of costumes in particular, save the last time I dressed up, which was Halloween 2003, before my move to the Gulf Coast (I went as Morpheus from The Matrix).
_
I may have mentioned this before, but I feel a lack of connection to many of my memories growing up. I can rattle off places I lived, some friends I had, noteworthy events, etc–but the way I recall them is akin to watching snapshots from the life of someone else. I know the memories are mine, but they have no emotional resonance. As I think about it, there are a handful of memories I feel an emotional connection to:
1- Sunday morning brunch with my sister. I was old enough to drive and had a Mazda B2000 truck. Sundays, I would treat the two of us to Shoney’s breakfast bar. Occasionally, I would tease her as we left, locking the door and putting the truck in drive, but my foot off the accelerator. I do not recall her terribly worried about being left. As if she knew I wasn’t going to leave without her.
2- Coming out of the closet to my parents. I have talked about how devastating that was, so perhaps thats why I remember it well, and connect to the memory.
3- Coming out to my best friend in my senior year of high school. I remember being scared, deeply scared he would reject me. The relief I felt when he shrugged and said it did not bother him was enormous. He was the first person I came out to and his reaction was an important turning point for me. I can only speculate how things would have gone had he reacted differently.
4- coming out to my general manager at my first job. She had no problem with me being gay, but when she found out I was attracted to white men –THAT– was a problem. No dating outside your race for her (this was Huntsville, AL…the belt buckle of the Bible Belt)
5- recognizing something was different about me in the 8th grade. I remember looking at my gym coach and liking what I saw, but feeling it was wrong.
6- Coming out to my sister. We had lunch at Mozzarella Cafe. To her it was no big deal. I think I told her just prior to telling my parents.
7- The occasional theft of adult magazines from a convenience store right near the gate to the Army base my father was stationed at. Not my best moments. I probably would have continued if I had not gotten bolder and decided to try shoplifting ON base. This little shop near the commisary carried Playgirl and I knew what was inside. This was still when I had not heard the word gay, nor did I know anyone who was gay. Anyway, I was caught and my mother was paged to the managers office. I really do not remember if I was more fearful of my secret getting out or the fact that I was a thief.
These are the memories that stand out to me growing up. Curiously, aside from the first, they all involve me dealing with being queer. In a way its like I connected with myself as I accepted my sexuality. I wish I could remember more from my childhood, but alas…
Good morning
Dalillama
Urgh, sorry, that sucks.
BTW, did you get that job you were applying for?
Sorry if I missed this, but my weeks have been fuller than full lately.
+++
About Pteryxx’ link
It really should be a no-brainer.
Rape victims need to feel safe to talk about what happened. Children need to be double-safe. Abusers use shame to make sure that their victims comply, so if you can’t pull that lever they have a problem.
OTOH, it’s still rape-culture kiddie-version. Because then the race for the child with the shitty parents who’d shit diamonds if you fed them coal begins.
Hi chigau!
Have a good night my friend.
****
ImaginesABeach:
Wow.
Who knew cicely had such power?
I wonder if that power can be harnessed for the good of humanity. Why let those powers go to waste when there are three political parties, a fair number of wholesome Family orgs, some anti-choicers, some birthers, and a plethora of hate groups, that could benefit from
Tony, I’m not sure cicely wants to be harnessed, nor am I sure she wants to be used for the good of humanity. That sounds like the kind of thing where you need to be really sure of consent.:)
Is it more correct to say a drop menu (dropmenu?) or a dropdown menu? Or something completely different?
I’d say drop-down menu or list.
Of course, English is my third language, so… with a grain of salt :)
One time I was at a friend’s house down south and we got onto the subject of her front yard, which was nothing but sand. She couldn’t get any grass or flowers to grow there and so had just let it be.
“You know, there are a lot of plants that will grow in sandy soil,” I told her. “Especially in your climate. You could get this whole place covered in watermelon vines. Wouldn’t that be neat?”
“Oh, that would!” she said. She started to get excited about the prospect of putting in a garden, before suddenly deflating. “But people would steal my watermelons.”
“Well…you’re close to a school, so maybe kids would take them, but you’d still have the pretty vines and I imagine they couldn’t take all of the melons,” I said.
“But they’re my melons. They’d be stealing them.” She was clearly deeply bothered by the idea of her hypothetical melons being eaten by someone else.
I tried to be reassuring and point out how unrealistic her worry was. “I’ve been gardening all of my life and other than some kids in the family picking things when they weren’t supposed to, it’s just never been an issue. I don’t notice if somebody grabs an apple. And, hey, maybe they were hungry and needed it.”
“But some of my melons would be stolen.” And the thought of things she didn’t even have being used by people who may not exist horrified her so much that she never planted a garden at all.
Did I ever mention that I actually like putting furniture up?
Compared to many other things in life it’s an easy and deeply rewarding job…
Mellow Monkey: so instead of “if I can’t have it, no one can”, it’s “if anyone can have it…I can’t” ?
Well, I like it at least until I notice that they forgot to pack the screws…
Tony – the Shoney’s Sunday morning breakfast bar was a rare and wondrous treat at my house. We didn’t go out to eat often, and NEVER went to breakfast, so that was weird in and of itself, but on a SUNDAY? When we were supposed to be in church? Why, that was an invisible pink unicorn of an event. So the 2-4 times it did ever happen are etched in my brain like a golden perfect day, even though it was just Shoney’s. Pancake sticks: the taste of freedom and abundance.
:D
Mellow Monkey: I can’t help wondering if ‘down south’ and ‘watermelons’ meant this person was afraid of attracting, y’know… the wrong kind of people. Or maybe I’ve been living in Texas too long.
Giliell – have you checked all of the box contents? Sometimes they tape the screws to the inside of a cardboard piece that’s holding things in that looks NOTHING like somewhere something ought to be.
Morgan @634: If you’d carried a tin of beans, you could have gone as The Wind and the Lion.
Giliell,
Sometimes, they staple a baggy with the screws onto the box that goes into the couch. Getting it unstapled leaves traces on the box, but why would you care since they will be inside and not seen, right? NO.
I like putting furniture together too. The last time, though, they did that thing with the bag, holes for the legs were missing from the mentioned box, some parts didn’t match… It wasn’t as much fun as I expected. Or any fun at all.
Beatrice
I’m going with your version. It sounds more correct.
I also like assembling furniture. I love womaning the electric screwdriver, actually. When necessary, and also when not. Because it’s a power tool. :)
+++
Not sure why, but this was really powerful for me, in a perspective/viewer/frame/something-something-weird-thought-process kind of way.
Pteryxx, that is a subtext I hadn’t considered. I suppose it’s possible, even if only subconsciously.
It was such a baffling experience. I can understand if someone put in a garden, had a bad experience and decided not to do it again. I can’t understand someone thinking that maybe, just maybe, someone other than herself could eat something from the garden and therefore she cannot ever plant one.
Women, monsters, costumes, and what would you rather be?
We have a garden outside of town, and people steal our produce all the time :(
Since the place is away from main roads, we know it must be neighbors. We’re not sure which. They never take enough to get us seriously pissed, but it’s really galling to know someone who’s all nice and smiles to you, is actually stealing from you.
Follow up to my comment @604, and subsequent comments from A. Noyd @605.
Yeah, this far-right female congress critter thinks it is discrimination when males are forced to buy insurance that covers medical services they do not use. This is so myopic a view one hardly knows where to begin.
The Affordable Care Act is supposed to put a stop to gender inequality in insurance pricing. That’s a feature, not a bug.
The same doofuses who are for gender inequality in pricing are also trying by every means to put a stop to coverage for birth control. I guess the view from the far right wing is not supposed to make sense. Viagra for erectile dysfunction, now that’s a different story. God wants women to help pay for that.
Crip Dyke @610, if you have something especially cogent and timely to say, perhaps PZ would host it as a guest post?
Yay I feel like the shittiest cat dad.
My little baby Snip has, since he was young, made this weird hacking noise like he had a hairball, but never hacked up anything.I figured he swallowed the hair and got rid of it in the other way that cats get rid of hairballs, so no big whup.
He’s probably got asthma. That’s what feline asthma looks like.
However one thing is now clear, I told my vet about the “hairball” problem and she never even said anything about the problem. Now I’m going to a different vet.
@my 660:
I feel shitty cause he’s been suffering for almost three years and I just chalked it up to hairball problems.
Grr! “To the best of your knowledge, has a woman ever suffered from prostate cancer? Or testicular cancer? Or erectile dysfunction? If not, then clearly they need to be stricken from the list of insured conditions!”
I was deeply offended when offered U.S. disability insurance to find that it excluded war, riot, insurrection, acts of god…. and anything to do with female reproduction.
First there was good news out of Texas, and then there was very bad news indeed. A battle was won over anti-abortion laws. Swiftly, the battle was resumed and lost.
I really do dislike it when Rick Perry decides to “protect” women. You know he means to throw women under the bus.
http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/texas-abortion-restrictions
rq,
I vote for PZ to make this into a blog post!
Beatrice @ 657
Oh, that sucks. Like I said, I’ve probably lost some produce this way, but it’s never been enough to really be that noticeable. I probably lose more to birds, rabbits, etc. When I lived in the middle of a town, I had the least loss in my garden of all.
The Mellow Monkey,
We aren’t at a great loss, since we usually don’t eat everything by ourselves anyway. We give a lot to our neighbors in the building, and we’d probably give to the neighbors at the garden place too if they weren’t already stealing from us.
Just looking at value, we probably give away (plus, throw away stuff that gets bad before consumption) more than we lose by theft, it’s just the fact that our neighbors steal from us and then play dumb and friendly that makes me mad.
Sorry, got into a bit of a rant there.
For people with gardens inside the town, the only ones I know to have problems are those with fruit trees near schools. :)
Take a virtual tour of the former Cheka building in Riga, now a rather prominent ghost building.
(It only went out of use a few years ago, though – when I had to get my first police IDs, I had to go to that building. It’s the usual twisty aged corridors decorated in rather bad taste (and not enough funds to renovate/redecorate). But knowing the building’s history, my creepiness radar was definitely on high. They say the basement cells have never been washed, and that all visible stains are originals, so to speak… Either way, not exactly a happy, cheerful building.)
More real information, that is, facts to debunk the ridiculous lies that Republicans are now using to attack Obamacare.
Fundamentally, Republicans are arguing that the insurance industry should be allowed to rip off the American people. It’s Freedom!
http://www.salon.com/2013/11/01/the_rights_sickest_obamacare_lie_yet/
The way things work in the Land of the Rich Powerful and Unethical: make sure regulators of an industry, say solar energy for example, are all anti regulation, and are all tied to the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC).
ALEC plays a major role in writing all kinds of legislation that far-right groups support. Flea-brained legislators are thus relieved of the onerous task of writing legislation. But we the people are being subjected to legislation that is not in our interest. This revelation regarding anti-green energy regulators is just the latest in investigations that reveal ALEC’s sneaky, backdoor tactics.
http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2013/11/01/2873071/arizona-solar-battle/
Someone is evidently exercising their 2nd amendment rights in LAX terminal 3 right now.
Dalillama:
Oooh, that sucks.
–
ImaginesABeach:
:) :) :)
Most excellent!
Yup, yup, yup; that’s me—Saving Humanity One GirlChild At A Time!
(Later)
And you are absolutely correct; I would object vigorously to being harnessed, or subjected to any other items of saddlery. It is a certainty that someone would get bit.
And it wouldn’t be me.
–
Hmmm….
The one that sticks out in my memory is from about 6 years ago, for a Halloween party at our Local Comic Book Store. I went as a student from Miskatonic U. (Go, ‘Pods!), in a tee shirt with this on it, a Miskatonic U. binder (can’t find a pic on-line), a copy of volume 1 of Budge’s Book of the Dead, a book on cryptid hominids, and a book in a Necronomicon for Dummies slip cover.
–
*hugs* for Kevin…and it wouldn’t have occurred to me that it might be asthma, either.
–
Kevin @ 660, I’ve been around cats all my life, and I didn’t know they could have asthma. The important thing is, you found out what was wrong and you’re doing something about it.
*Offers hugs for Kevin and petting for Snip*
I’m so tired
The little one is sick and I didn’t get a decent night of sleep in a few days
NO, sadly no screws anywhere. There wasn’t much in the box where they could have hidden and I tore up the box anyway. Well, Mr. needs to go back to Ikea next week anyway, liberating more plush hippos.
@Anne D / Cicely:
It sounds exactly like a cat with a hairball. But it’s never produced any hairballs.
Follow up to my comment #658. The battle over contraception, (birth control), provisions of the Affordable Care Act has heated up.
A. Noyd was right, birth control is next on the chopping block. This news is awful:
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/politics/2013/11/anti-birth-control-employer-just-beat-obamacare-court/71176/
Coverage from The Maddow Blog.
http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/court-rules-against-aca-contraception-policy
Dalillama, sorry about the crown. That does indeed suck :-( Was it lost as in, it came out but you have it in your possession – or lost as in, swallowed/irretrievably gone? Just hoping that if you were able to retrieve it maybe it could be re-affixed … cold comfort, even if you’ve got it; either way, my sympathies.
No fixings in the pack is one of those bloody annoying flea-bite sort of things, isn’t it Giliell – not the end of the world, but such a frustrating, unnecessary pain in the arse!
Very glad indeed that child2 had what sounds like a good halloween, carlie! We had/are having a pretty sad time of it here (though with a brave face on) … it’s not to do with trick-or-treating, which is not quite such a big deal here, I think – it’s just that times when lots of people are having parties – and you know that they are – are always the hardest :-(
Kevin, I’m sorry about Snip’s asthma – but you couldn’t have known, not without a fair bit of expertise/experience, I would have thought. Hope your next vet is a bit more proactive in thinking about explanations for things.
Many hugs for the Pharyngulite Horde, especially for those dealing with health or money problems. It always helps me to read you, even at times when I’m not talking much it gives me something. {{{{hugs}}}}
This is in reference to comments #675 and 676.
So, yeah, the other aspect of this ridiculous ruling that private businesses can inflict their religious beliefs on their employees (no insurance coverage for birth control, for example) is that conservative judges on the D.C. Circuit outnumber progressive judges. Meanwhile, Republican Senators are filibustering to deny Obama’s appointments to fill vacant seats. Keep the Republican majority in judgeships at all costs! It’s the only way we’ll keep birth control out of the hands of women!
Think Progress link.
urgh… following up on Lynna’s #678, here’s the sort of opinion Judge Owen writes. (Reposted from Jason’s)
cicely!!!
Emails finally read and responded to. Apologies for the delay!
Lynna @680:
So, according to this court, intent matters? So I can shoot someone and then claim I cannot be tried for murder as my purpose was only to wound? I am not a lawyer, but that sounds suspect to me.
Three things that have kept me entertained during tonight’s translation sessions:
1) Kimbra (no further comment necessary; if you don’t know her voice, you should, and for more than her contribution to Gotye’s (in)famous Somebody That I Used to Know, which has spawned many covers, of which Canadian band’s Walk Off the Earth is still the best, IMO);
2) this series of photos discovered when looking for the True Meaning of the word ‘rakurss’ (final result: not at all what I had inferred) and for some reason a lot of them make me laugh and giggle inappropriately;
3) the totally inapplicable but perhaps-one-day-useful tutorial on the 7 best text effects in Microsoft Word. Yeah, don’t need such shiny text in this particular set of documents, but the lessons seem useful (and he could use some assistance for more similar tutorials).
I share in the hopes that maybe one of you will be similarly entertained.
Good night!
I know – I’m sorry. :( We’re just before party age here (late middle school), so it’s not quite as obvious yet as it will be in the next year or so.
{{{{hug}}}} to you carlie, if I may – reading your comment just now felt like being on the receiving end of a much-appreciated hug, so this is by way of hugging you back. All my very best wishes to child#2 and to all the family.
Midnight in Blighty now – goodnight, Horde.
Please oh please why can’t this be a thing. for all gendered things which are only taught to cis people.
I’m just too afraid to look.
Carlie
I think you are correct. She has had trouble asserting herself when she needs to do so since the stroke. My problem has been she expects me to make presuppositions, and/or be able to interpret vague suggestive statements as “orders”. I keep telling her, if I have to presume or interpret, she isn’t speaking with a plain declarative sentence, and it will be misinterpreted due to chronic fatigue.
Today was fishy Friday, so she had me stop by Popeyes and get here the crawdad tacklebox for her. The crawdads disappeared down her craw.
When I came home today for the afternoon commode/her lunch, she showed me her left hand. She was getting minimal, but repeatable movement of the fingers at her command. This has happened before for a few minutes, but she said she had been moving them for two hours. We don’t know if this is the start of something, but any control is better than none.
Anyone have a handy link to take down the vacuous conservative talking point “people on welfare need to get jobs/stop looking for handouts”? In light of
http://www.forbes.com/sites/theapothecary/2013/09/02/on-labor-day-2013-welfare-pays-more-than-minimum-wage-work-in-35-states/
some have decided to spew this bullshit.
Well Tony, my first thoughts are what are they adding to the welfare benefits, or what are they defining as welfare?
And Tony, the question to ask is why aren’t low level jobs paying a livable wage, which is often far larger than the minimum wage….
Tony #688
There’s also the question of how many actual jobs are available at any wages compared to the number of jobseekers.
Tony @688: Well, there’s this
http://basicincome.org.uk/interview/2013/08/health-forget-mincome-poverty/
But there’s really no way to combat the combination of vacuous and evil.
Worse. You can shoot someone in an obviously cold-blooded, deliberate fashion and say nothing at all. As long as you don’t SAY “I intend to kill you” it’s fine.
Dang, this is going to be a long evening. The Redhead found out the local PBS station was showing an opera based on the book, Moby Dick, being presented by the San Francisco Opera (the Lyric often does the same opera a year later using the stage settings from SFO). Quick stuff in a VCR tape, check that the VCR is actually working, and set it to shut off in few hours. She wonders why I keep mentioning DVR to her…
Nerd, Dalillama, Rob:
Thank you all!
Who is near Los Angeles? The Godless Perverts social club are having some events.
rq!!!
Responding emails read. No apologies needed!
;)
(Later)
I agree with you about Walk Off the Earth’s cover of Somebody That I Used To Know; I re-watched it just this last Tuesday.
–
Nerd, best hopes and wishes for The Redhead’s hand control.
*hugs* offered, for the both of you.
–
Libby Anne’s post on the one-year anniversary of her post that went viral: How I Lost Faith in the Pro-Life Movement
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2013/10/one-year-ago-today-my-viral-moment.html
CaitieCat @538, I keep some types of books handy for wind-down reading. If entertaining, they must be shorter than novels: novellas and short stories are fine. Then I can stop at the end of one. Poems would work, too, I guess. If engrossing, they must be so familiar I know them almost by heart, and even that is a bit of a risk. Finally, some of the best things are interesting things that I like to know more about but have no plot whatsoever. It might be field guides for identifying wild plants or birds or rocks; or perhaps tips for better camping; or how mix glazes for ceramics, or a dictionary of word origins. Any of them help.
I think the idea with the breathing exercises is not to say, “I’m relaxing, I’m relaxing,” but to just feel breath moving in and out. A nice visualization exercise is to pull in clean, clear air and blow out all the dirt of the day.
So I decided to simply question the “truths” my FB friend offered. After mentioning that it is unreasonable to have opinions unsupported by evidence, I asked him how he knew that his claims were true and backed by evidence.
As one can surmise, I am turning purple holding my breath waiting…
Tony: glancing over that Forbes article, besides the obvious assumptions + elisions + dismissals, here’s a few problems:
…and then they added them all together, as if every single welfare recipient receives all of them at once.
Also, minimum wage incomes don’t break the poverty line, which is WHY these workers can hold down one or more minimum wage jobs and still qualify for assistance in the first place, by definition.
Other articles picked up on these themes in their takedowns. Send ’em this:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/rickungar/2013/09/03/the-conservative-case-for-welfare-reform-suffers-massive-blow-via-cato-institute-study/
Or this one:
There’s A New Study That Says Welfare Pays Better Than Work — Here’s Why It’s Total Nonsense
Pteryxx:
Very much appreciated. Thank you.
In thanks for that great Walk Off the Earth cover I give you this:
http://youtu.be/kK02kW1mKkk
How did I not know about this until today!?
Warning: Women being unapologetically loud.
FossilFishy
I got all my hopes up for loud women, but the link is broken… :(
Off course it’s broken. It’s been that sorta day. Mind you, I just got hit on* by a twenty-something woman, so maybe weird is a better descriptor of today.
Trying again. Last time I tried to keep it from embedding and clearly I don’t know how to do that.
*First time in over a decade I’ve been obviously propositioned by anyone, of any age.
*non-propositional hugs* for a better immediate future.
That is a pair of hauntingly loud women. Love it!
Good morning
Already back from the paediatrician with the little one.
After three days with no improvement for throat strep we’re on antibiotics now.
Sigh
*hugs* for Carlie and Spawn
Ugh, Giliell. It’s wretched when they’re ill and miserable :-(
Hope the antibiotics do the trick.
… and if she feels better quickly, and then wonders why she has to go on taking the rest of the antibiotics when she feels fine now … yay educational opportunity! :-) (you’ve probably already taught her this, so it’ll be a chance for her to revise the topics and relate to them on a personal level ;-) ).
Seriously, though, I’m sorry she’s ill and about how tiring that is for everyone.
opposablethumbs
Thanks.
I don’t think that taking them all will be an issue. Those kiddie antibiotics are sweet sirup and this one has nasty little bacteria printed on the box and you can punch one in the gut with a pencil every time you take your medicine. Which is also a nice way to illustrate why you have to take them all or else some nasty bacteria will make you sick again.
But yeah, I hope she gets better soon, we could all do with a night of sleep. And I think I need to get my MIL a voucher for the hairdresser as a “thank you” for babysitting her all the time.
@ Giliell
:D
Society moves forward by just such tiny little increments.
Got into work today. Coworker out sick (wonder if it is what I had). Guess who gets to do a training module for new volunteers about (a) what the NPS is and what we do, (b) how do VIPs fit into the NPS, (c) why interpreters exist in the NPS, and (d) fit it all into thirty minutes? Off to train.
Last night I had a dream that I was a homicide detective investigating a string of murders of women. Eventually, my investigation drew me to a group of MRAs and PUAs. Their ringleader was just some ordinary guy. It turned out he didn’t actually believe most of the stuff he said, but he was just callous enough to not care who he hurt while making money off of conning these other men into buying his books and lecture podcasts.
I did not find the murderer before waking up. Damnit.
I had a dream I was reading this amazing, Lounge-worthy story – except they kept misspelling the word ‘heroine’ as ‘heroin’, which I didn’t find strange until the very last two pages of the book.
+++
Giliell
Thank you for your contributions here in the Lounge – specifically, those where you remind me (among others) that it is important to take care of oneself in order to be useful to others, that it is ok to ask for help and that it is ok to shirk one’s duties in order to gain a moment of relaxation and reduced stress, that I am a piece of my relationships and a human being, and as such worthy of attention and time.
I was able to pass on much of this information to my best friend, who is currently struggling to combine two children, a job and a husband who travels often, plus finding personal time. Thank you for providing me with the information and the confidence to be sure enough of these things to pass them on to someone in need, to tell her she is not alone and that she is not a failure.
(And that bacteria-stabbing idea on antibiotics for children is pure genius. Hope everyone is healthy soon! And that you get some rest!)
opposablethumbs
You and any and all of your Spawn are welcome to come party here anytime. Seriously. I know that probably does not help much considering age differences and language barriers and everything else, but if you’re ever around here, do drop in. :)
Thank you, rq! Very much. {{{hugs}}}
Tony – I see that your FB friend has not been back. Perhaps you have convinced him?
via BB, a UK proposal to pay defense lawyers a bonus if their clients plead guilty rather than go to trial.
http://www.theguardian.com/law/2013/nov/01/lawyers-higher-legal-aid-fees-early-guilty-plea
Watch Rachel Maddow’s coverage of the judges who have made certain that women pay a price for compromises that were made on Bush-appointed judges, and on the ways in which women are currently paying a price for the Republican refusals to approve Obama-appointed judges.
http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show (First video in the lineup.)
16 minutes of history and of current news. Be patient with the almost five minutes of historical ground work. It pays off in the end.
Hockey player beats up girlfriend. Keeps playing hockey. Because, you know, they gotta focus on the game. The domestic abuse, that’s a law thing. Yeah, that’s some real class you’re showing there, coach. Class.
Ogvorbis @682, you are right about the illogic and the lack of legal reasoning behind the Judge Owen ruling that Pteryxx highlighted. Owen is basically an undereducated conservative, and particularly ignorant when it comes to the law. See the coverage of her nomination and approval process by Rachel Maddow. (Link @718.)
Both Owen and Brown are female conservatives with lifetime appointments.
Coverage in Slate on the issue of judges and why they matter.
Pteryxx (#717)
Then what the fuck is the bonus even for?! I want to thump the creators of this proposal about the head with the book Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me).
Thanks Lynna. From that Slate article, the overlap between abortion access, poverty, and crackdowns on immigrants:
A. Noyd: I know right? Especially on the heels of financial abortion obstacles, which they’ll admit are there to force women into one course of action over another; and that welfare-disincentive flap Tony referenced (which isn’t even true). But financially penalizing lawyers won’t tempt them at all because they’re just so noble that money doesn’t matter?
Speaking of judges, and of Republicans filibustering Obama appointees so that no votes can be taken, you would think that all this offing around would result in members of the House having to be in session longer, in them having to work longer hours. You would be wrong.
House Republicans worked very little last year, and they are going to do even less in 2014. They have laid out a schedule that requires them to work a grand total of 113 days next year. That’s about half as many as we the people with jobs.
Republicans blithely skipped an Obamacare briefing they furiously demanded. This is just one of their duties they shirked. They just don’t have the time, you know.
In the meantime, these shirkers get an annual salary of $174,000, plus all the “donations” and other perks they rake in, including high paid jobs as lobbyists or consultants in industries to which they bowed during their tenure as congress critters. $174,000, but money must be saved somewhere, so they will savagely cut the social safety net for all the poor and lower middle class people.
This perfidy holds true at the state level as well. Take Ohio for example: one day ago a Senator Chris Widener, R-Springfield, proposed to take the $400 million gained from expanding Medicaid and turn it into an income-tax cut.
And then there’s this:
Link to National Journal article on pay discrepancy.
Female staff fare better in the Democratic House, but, “Female Democratic House staff made on average $1,473.65 less annually than male Democratic House staff.”
Female Republican Senate staff made on average $9,805.85 less annually than male Republican Senate staff.
The Rachel Maddow show clips probably aren’t visible outside the US, and msnbc has gone to a weird in-line synced transcript that can’t be copied as text. I need to complain at them again about that…
Chris Hayes addresses the Republican myth that Obama is “court packing” — see first video up in All In line up.
http://www.msnbc.com/all-in
Also available directly here: http://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/no-obama-is-not-court-packing-59591747817
In response to Pteryxx’s note that Rachel Maddow Show segments may not be accessible outside the USA, here are some other links that house at least portions of the Maddow segments on judges, abortion, and contraception (Affordable Care Act):
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/10/31/1252216/-5th-Circuit-Of-Appeals-Overturns-Stay-Of-Texas-Abortion-Law?detail=hide
http://video.msnbc.msn.com/rachel-maddow/53439209/#53439209
Hope these links work for our Pharyngulites living outside the USA
Dalillama – I’m sorry about your crown.
Kevin:
I had a cat with this problem. It was scary to watch, but there really wasn’t a treatment for it, at least at that time. I don’t know if things are different now. *hugs* for you and Snip
Nerd – *hugs* for you and the Redhead.
Giliell – *sterile, virtual hugs* for you and your little one.
Lynna and Pteryxx – Thank you for all the links you post. You help me stay informed on so many important issues.
@thunk:
where did you find that quote? What was the context?
Thanks.
Crip Dyke re thunk’s quote, it’s from here: (I went and searched)
https://proxy.freethought.online/gruntled/2013/10/29/on-nail-polish-and-pizza/
…
…I’ve been places where the gay community helps teens with gender presentation. The local drag queens (who do stage performances and musicals and Rocky Horror) run supportive workshops on how to don makeup, nail polish, wigs, clothing, and how to walk and gesture, even voice training, under the aegis of “stagecraft”. Silly me… I thought it WAS just for “stagecraft”.
@markita (and tony, I guess):
2 things, my most timely work is often my angry work – directly responding to something messed up in the moment.
My most cogent work is decidedly *not* my most timely work…though it is sometimes angry, it is not my most angry, get-out-of-my-way,-injustice,-or-I’ll-just-trample-you-as-I-pass-by work.
Beyond that, PZ has seen my work before. He asked Walton for a guest post. If he wanted it, he could ask, but it’s his space, not mine. I have no trouble feeling guilty about writing in this PZ-owned comment space, that is the purpose for which it was created, but I won’t ask that of him. I’m not the best at social rules, so maybe I’m wrong, but I think it would be awkward, even if done on private e-mail [which, being busy, he might not get to in a timely manner anyway].
Finally, the stuff that I really would want to say that I don’t end up saying here is the stuff that isn’t “timely”. It’s not responding directly to things happening here. It’s the stuff of a blog: my own priorities, not the Horde’s.
For instance, we sometimes talk about transfeminism, but what is transfeminism? How do we know when we’re doing it?
Much has been made of the racism of some branches of feminism: were/are those feminists just evil, or is there something else going on? What, specifically, were the objections of women of color when they were creating a new feminism that respected woman of color life and agency? Was it just bad personal treatment? Was it bad public policy? Was there an ethical disagreement, a values disagreement?
And given all that, what can we learn from this most celebrated (or cursed, I guess, depending on whether or not you’re a racist jerk) branching of post ww2 feminism? Are these lessons directly applicable to the situations of other women who have felt marginalized within feminism? How do they apply to trans folk? Does the development of transfeminism parallel or diverge from the model of womanism, third-world feminism, sub-alternity, Joyce Green’s indigenous feminism (which I argue has been around longer than Joyce Green, but it’s worth noting that someone as important as Joyce Green still sees it necessary to articulate that there is such a thing: it doesn’t speak well of us that we don’t speak of indigenous feminism as a long-recognized and important branch) and other movements of feminists of color?
I also am and have long been a critic of intersectionality I have, obscurely, called it a “failed theory”. What does it mean that intersectionality is a “failed theory”?
Plus I like to explore how all these things lead to specific decisions. As I’m in law school, sometimes this is in response to learning something new (or deeper) about the law, but often I’ll know about the law, because I’m geeky, but I don’t know that there exists an association of feminist lawyers trying to change the law to X. Sometimes I think this is great, sometimes I am horrified, but I’m endlessly fascinated at the consistency with which I disagree with their reasoning. Law attracts certain types of people, and moreover is strongly reinforcing of tradition. So while people might propose new policies, their moral reasoning tends to be conservative in its **process** even when it comes to new (even revolutionary) conclusions about what is moral. This makes sense to the extent that you’re going to have to convince other people that you’re right, so you have to engage the traditional moral reasoning at some point.
But why embrace it? Why not just demonstrate that traditional moral reasoning leads to a bad outcome and suggest a new way of reasoning, not just new factors to plug into the same equation? It’s hard to understand, but I explore it frequently.
And at its core, this is all about meta-social ethics: not what do we determine is correct, but how do we go about determining what is correct.
I disagree, on a core level, with the moral reasoning of quite a few justice movements. I think we can build better ones. I think we can build ones that are more persuasive, more cross-fertile, more mutually supportive, more fulfilling, and more successful. I often see why people make some of the choices that they do, but that doesn’t mean endorsing the why.
There’s tons there to explore that has nothing to do with “timely” though hopefully I’ve been cogent. And if PZ made me a guest poster on some of this stuff, it would change the flavor. I’m more meta than PZ. Obviously I engage the now, but a blog, even one that used the now, the current to explore the meta (I often find that current events give a good hook and can provide help in understanding the practical consequences of a concept, of a way of thinking, but very often my goal is that deeper understanding, not just educating about the status quo or current events, not even just to condemn them), would be different. PZ deals with the current to take it down, but take it down using an established frame of interrogation with which every regular reader should be familiar.
And he wishes to build something new, he’s not only about destruction, he wants to create something better. So my frame isn’t more about building and less about tearing down, or anything like that. But nonetheless, it’s a different frame that asks of readers a different set of skills. I think it would feel really different, and I don’t have any wish to change the character of PZ’s space. I mean, look at Walton’s guest post: it was very current, and very critical, but not at all meta. It used established values that are shared with PZ to take down some horrible happenings with which PZ was just unfamiliar. I would likely take on some of the same things that PZ takes on (but not oncogenes, thank-you-very-much, I know at least SOME of my limitations), but take them on very differently. We might share some outrage on pedagogical issues, and we will almost certainly share outrage on political interference in pedagogy, but I’m more critical of teaching as an institution, and from what I can tell, when I talk about pedagogy, I’m talking about power in the classroom from a more fundamental level. PZ does a good job talking about sexism in STEM. But he doesn’t take on the idea that to be an academic, one gets a job and takes on value for knowing things that others don’t. If you are really, really successful at communicating your ideas to the point where what you know is common sense (at least in your field), that robs you of a certain currency in your field. You might gain fame for having a successful theory or teaching career, but fame is a different currency. Are these currencies compatible? To what extent?
So yeah, I read science, but wouldn’t post much about it: to that extent we’re mutually reinforcing. But I don’t think I’d have anything I’d want to offer as a guest post for reasons of awkwardness of asking and also b/c what wouldn’t work as a comment likely also wouldn’t work as a guest post, but for different reasons.
@pteryxx:
Ack! Bad google-fu! I searched using the domain restriction site:freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula b/c I didn’t want to type in the whole quote and didn’t want to get overloaded with false positives. When it wasn’t here, I didn’t think it might be elsewhere on FtB.
My bad. thanks for the help.
rq
*blush*
Thanks.
I’m glad to help. Send your friend greetings.
+++
And in other, totally unimprtant news, I got a new purse.With owls. Maybe I can take pics tomorrow…
More conservative action (and money) being thrown into the fight against LGBT rights:
http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/11/02/2879921/opposing-enda-heritage-tells-gay-people-hide-closet/
NEW THREAD.