[The scene: a misty auditorium in an undefinable state in the universe. The seats are occupied by ghosts; Sir Roger Penrose presides benignly from a pulpit overlooking all. He gestures, and Stuart Hameroff rises to deliver the sermon.]
Quantum quantum quantum. Quantum quantum. Quantum quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum quantum. Quantum quantum. Quantum our experience of consciousness quantum is the result of quantum gravity effects inside these quantum microtubules – a process they call quantum orchestrated objective reduction (Orch-OR) quantum quantum, quantum quantum.
Quantum, quantum quantum. Quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum. Quantum quantum. The quantum information within the microtubules is not destroyed, it can’t be destroyed, it just quantum distributes and dissipates to the universe at quantum large. Therefore, quantum.
In a near-death experience the microtubules lose their quantum state but the information within them is not quantum destroyed. Quantum quantum. Quantum quantum quantum. Or in layman’s terms, the soul does not die but returns to quantum the quantum universe quantum. Quantum. Quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum Quantum.
Quantum, my preciousss. We wants it, quantum quantum.
[Hameroff sits back down. Penrose smiles and silently blesses the audience. All disappear, quantally, as the quantum choir chants about quanta.]
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
snicker
[Quantum. –pzm]
PZ Myers says
Quantum. All comments must use the word “quantum”. Last warning: quantum.
Gregory in Seattle says
Sounds like a sermon by Deepak “Quantum” Chopra.
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
And in last night’s game, the Quantum State Tomatoes defeated the Newtonian University Figs ~42 to 28.
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Read that article while listening to this
Strewth says
Is the fundamental unit of quantum woo the moron or the bozon?
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
No, actually, watch the chicken video. It gets really interesting when he gets deeper into the lecture.
The Mellow Monkey: Caerie says
My quantum microtubules are quantumly quivering with delight.
Don F says
If you got ’em, go ahead and quantum.
Eamon Knight says
The “Chicken chicken” talk makes more sense.
I really enjoyed The Emperor’s New Mind — the whole experience of wrapping my head around number theory, computability and Godel, and I was (at the time) impressed by his Godel-based argument that our brains can’t be purely algorithmic. But when he got into the quantum microtubule stuff I was like, hooookaaaay, could be, maybe I suppose, he’s the hotshot physicist…
That was 20 years ago. Today I’d probably still enjoy that first part, but just laugh at the second.
richardelguru says
“Quantum, my preciousss. We wants it, quantum quantum.”
I hope the estate of Tolkien isn’t as vicious as that of Salinger.
btw Quantum.
Vijen says
Most amusing. But aren’t these idiots just pursuing the same ludicrous strategy as PZ and virtually all of his horde? They have to find a soul somewhere within physical reality, and you lot have to find a “soul”. The hard problem makes fools of you all.
eric says
I’m not sure why that’s quantum comforting. The same quantum thing is true of the atoms making quantum up my body quantum. That’s not quantum the sort of immortality quantum most people are looking for. Quantum.
timgueguen says
I wish I had the trademark on the term quantum. Imagine how much money you could make in licensing fees.
krgrace says
Those who continue to torture others with this nonsense will be sent to Quantumano Bay for re-education.
littlelocomotive says
Quantum? We’re flying to Australia?
darwinharmless says
PZ, I detect a hint of sarcasm in this post. Just a hint. Nothing quantum definitive. Are you saying this is quantum bullshit? But.. but… these are real quantum scientists. They couldn’t be saying anything quantum stupid, could they? My faith in science is quantum slipping away. I must turn to a reliable source that is forever true and unchanging, but where could I find such a book. I’ll have to check into a motel and I sure hope the quantum Gideon society is still stocking them with quantum bibles.
The Mellow Monkey: Caerie says
Yeah, I’ve never gotten this quantum argument. The quantum information of my consciousness can also be transferred to quantum writing. That doesn’t mean that if my diary hangs around forever that I’ve achieved quantum immortality. The continuation of “consciousness” is something that’s easy to take for granted when you aren’t quantum considering mental illness, brain tumors, quantums, drugs, traumatic brain injuries, etc, etc.
It’s a quantum property of our brains and is subject to quantum biology and quantum chemistry. Take away the quantum biology and quantum chemistry, and that’s no more you than the quantum molecules you excrete into the toilet every day or the quantum scribblings in your diary.
pentatomid says
Hmmmmmmm… Quaaaantuuuummmmm…
Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says
What the quantum are you babbling about? The “hard problem” is hard only in the sense that the brain and its relationships to the rest of the body and to the environment are complex.
Snoof says
The word “quantum” now looks completely meaningless to me.
This is going to make explaining the photoelectric effect a little difficult.
a3kr0n says
Quantum post about that Hameroff guy’s view on quantum in a world of quantified quanta.
Arkady says
Reads like PZ has been using a Quantum version of the Nurbler: http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2779#comic
billygutter01 says
Oh, tell me when will you be mine?
Oh tell me, quantum quantum quaaaaantum!
anteprepro says
Ahahaha. What the fuck is this shit? They think that “quantum information in neurons” survives death and “returns to the universe” ergo Quantum Soul? How about “neurotransmitter information in neurons” is responsible for consciousness, neurotransmitters aren’t destroyed, they just disappate, ergo we have a neurotransmitter “soul”. Sounds a whole lot less magical, and thus far more appropriately ridiculous, when sciencey illogic doesn’t rely on spooky ol’ quantum.
prae says
Seen a book in a local store about Quantum Matrix Healing. It hat angels, too. Are angels made of quantum now?
Now I want a bottle of ice-cold Nuka Cola Quantum. With the mild strontium radioisotope.
anteprepro says
lolwut? We dismiss the existence of souls.
Soul =/= Consciousness.
Don’t let believers tell you otherwise.
chigau (棒や石) says
In order to be sure I understood the topic, I looked up the word in Pfft.
I was distracted by quark.
Sastra says
Quantum, quantum, quantum.
Funny, yes — but it’s also interesting if you take it apart and look at all the implications. For one thing, this supports one of the definitions of what it means for something to be “supernatural” — the so-called metaphysical one which depends not on words, but content.
Does mind come from matter or does matter come from mind? Naturalism opts for the first one; it can be defined as the view that “no causes of events in the natural world are irreducibly mental.” With the supernatural, someone, somewhere posits that mind and/or the products or states of mind (consciousness, values, goals, etc.)are pure and primary: at least some mental things cannot be reduced to non-mental things.
That’s why this Theory of Quantum Consciousness instinctively looks and feels like woo or supernaturalism, both to us and to them. Look at this:
That first sentence isn’t necessarily woo. It’s unlikely, yes, but not inconceivable that quantum effects in the brain might have something to do with consciousness. But then look at that second sentence. “Quantum Information” is being treated like some kind of consciousness substance, rightly compared to a “soul” which is irreducibly mental. It’s you, what you feel, see, experience: it leaves the body and comes back and remembers being “distribut(ed) and dissipat(ed) to the universe at large.
If all they said was that when we die the energy leaves the body and goes somewhere else in nature that’s completely unremarkable. But that’s not what they’re doing. Quantum information is being treated like Consciousness, a thing in itself, without parts or composition. It’s recognizably supernatural — and notice what they didn’t do.
They didn’t say this takes place outside of nature, or outside of the universe. They didn’t invoke the term “supernatural.” They didn’t claim that science can’t discover this or test this or have anything to say about this because you need “faith.”
Nope. They try to shore this supernatural claim up WITH science. They say it comes from the science. They say it comes from quantum science. QUANTUM SCIENCE.
Who the hell says you can’t use science on God? That supernatural claims are beyond the scope of objective study and trying to apply disciplined and consistent reasoning to spiritual beliefs is ‘scientism?’ People who say that are just plain wrong. Look at this crap coming out of Penrose and Hameroff. They’ve made the lovely, generous, macro-mistake of putting forth something supernatural which is clear enough to be WRONG.
And they will be slowly taken apart in tiny bits by experts in the field who don’t just coo and sigh and fall under the spell of anyone who says “quantum.” Their theory will be dissected into smaller and smaller parts until we get to the tiny little bit of quantum information which is not immense and does not contain multitudes, but is practically nothing at all, on its own. That’s how reductionism works. That’s how science works. The smaller you get the simpler you get. “Consciousness” isn’t a simple thing.
They are just so screwed now. They think they have trapped atheists into their cage; we have instead lured and trapped them into OUR cage. We will chew them into quantum bits. No handwaving allowed in science. And nobody cares if the public just loves your theory.
gabrielcosta says
Wow, so, repetition and technobabble doesn’t just work for ID and irreducible complexity.
I strongly recommend Hameroff’s talk in “Beyong Belief”, a posdoc in neuroscience and Lawrence Krauss really demolish any credibility he might have believe his ramblings had.
Oh, yeah…Quantum!
scottrobson says
“Quantum physics creates total sexual energy” – http://www.wisdomofchopra.com
cervantes says
I clicked the link. Yup, that is prime cut, Grade A bullshit.
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Quantumliscuios
A Hermit says
I actually posted the link to the chicken video here first; it’s only because of quantum effects that someone else appears to have beaten me to it.
Naked Bunny with a Whip says
Well, of course. You can’t demonstrate nonlocality with just a single quantum scientist.
Sunday Afternoon says
Magnetism is quantum! Woooo…..
Sastra says
I can’t resist quoting Respectful Insolence’s Orac’s take down of what he calls “Choprawoo” (don’t worry, it contains the word “quantum”):
Or ever, I think.
This is where Penrose and Hameroff want to go… but don’t dare. Yet.
erikthebassist says
This quantum nitwit spoke at a Beyond Belief conference (can’t remember which year). Larry Krauss was in the audience and interupted his quantum gibberish to laugh at him and point out that he didn’t know the first thing about quantum mechanics, it was quantumfiably awesome.
Eamon Knight says
@36: Actually magnetism is relativistic (though no doubt there’s a quantum angle to it as well. I actually almost understand relativity; whereas, as Feynman(?) said, no one understands QM).
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
I guess this would be a case of ‘Quantumy over Quality’?
Gregory Greenwood says
Vijen @ 12;
What the quantum are you even trying to say here? What makes you think that irrational babbling about supernatural souls amounts to a ‘hard problem’?
We are atheists, remember – we don’t accept the existence of such things as magic (or ‘quantum’, used here as a synomym for magic) souls, still less have any need to waste our time in a quioxtic quest to find the manifestly non-existent.
erikthebassist says
oops failure to refresh, the comments were in a quantum super position of states, Schroedinger’s Thread.
Sorry Gabriel!
holytape says
I looked at the post. But the second I observed it I was uncertain.
Gregory Greenwood says
I read the link, and now owe my brain recompense for exposing it to such concentrated quantum woo idiocy. Frankly, it came off like bad science fantasy fiction.
When it comes to reading/watching something about pseudo-scientific magical energy fields containing the consciousness of those who have died, I frankly think it works better if it has light sabres.
zaarcis says
My quantum brain want to know more about this: “… his Godel-based argument that our brains can’t be purely algorithmic”
Is it quantum or not quantum?
Simon Hayward says
I hear one quantum hand clapping
zaarcis says
Quantum grammar quantum happens and quantum editing option hides in quantum waves.
* wants
My grammar is still quantum, so please don’t quant me.
Sastra says
Vijen #12 wrote:
How do you know it doesn’t also make a fool of you?
Where are your ‘checks and balances?’
Sastra says
Oh. I forgot. Add this to #48:
Quantum.
UnknownEric says
Quantum if they can’t take a joke, Sarge!
Glen Davidson says
But, quantum.
You lose, quantum infidels.
Glen Davidson
sharculese says
O and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens quantum and all the queer little streets and the pink and blue and yellow houses and the rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a girl where I was a Flower of the mountain quantum when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red quantum and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again quantum and then he asked me would I quantum to say quantum my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him quantum and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume quantum and his heart was going like mad and quantum I said quantum I will Quantum.
bertbrehm says
Quantum? Damned near killed ’em!
gabrielcosta says
No need for appologies, erikthebassist, the comments certainly were in a quantum superposition state.
Your comment and mine just made it collapse and it turns out that, from the wave function of all quantum states it could have assumed, we quantumly orchastrated the reduction to a world where Hameroff, Penrose and Deepak are full of shit.
(Deepak wasn’t in the conversation to begin with but, well, quantum nonlocality had its way).
F says
Angry Quanta
erikthebassist says
lmao @ 53
erikthebassist says
It’s a quantum shame too because Penrose was at one time respected in his field.
Eamon Knight says
Twas brillig, and the quantum toves did superimpose and collapse in the wabe….
Josh, Official SpokesGay says
WHAT ABOUT THE QUANTAZ!!//???22324!!?
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
Is this the new “thing”?
I remember growing up, being told by friends at a Chinese restaurant, that when you open your fortune cookie, you’re supposed to read it and add “…in the bedroom” to the end of your fortune. Are we now to do the same with “quantum”?
Or is this more a mindless chant, ala zombies and “Braaaainns”?
Or maybe they go hand in hand: Quantum Brains!
Deepak Chopra & the Evolution of the Quantum Brain-coming to bookstores near you (but not to tablets; the quantum foam alters the fundamental quantum consistency of technology).
*apologies if none of the above made sense. I just woke up and was hit by a Quantum Gun.
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
Q is for quantum.
That’s good enough for me…
casezulu says
When a problem comes along
You must quantum
Before the cream sets out too long
You must quantum
When something’s goin’ wrong
You must quantum
barfy says
My daughter had to watch the movie, “What the bleep do we know” for a high school international baccalaureate class six years ago. The teacher taught the movie as fact until it was pointed out to him that this was a religious piece of tripe and a fundamental misunderstanding of quantum effects. This was pointed out to him by my daughter, who had recently attended a Skeptics conference where Shermer gave a lecture devoted to debunking this crap movie.
The teacher was none too pleased with his idiocy exposed, and my daughter learned a hard lesson in the fallibility of authority figures and how battles won can still have deleterious consequences.
Ironically, the class was called, “The Theory of Knowledge” and taught logical fallacies.
Ultimately, on orders of magnitude, the microtubule experience of quantum effects is as valid as my colon’s experience with waste gas – hence, my quantum farts.
Tualha says
Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich.
Ah yes, the Morgan Freeman-narrated documentary “Through the Wormhole”. A well-respected peer-reviewed journal, that. Clearly this is to be taken…with at least a quantum of seriousness.
anteprepro says
Do you know the real theophilosophicological question that Quantum needs to be applied to? Whether any given event was God’s Judgment or Satan’s Trickery. Did you find a $20 bill because God is rewarding you for your good deeds, or is Satan trying to tempt you into technically stealing? Did your house burn down because God is righteously punishing you and hoping to make your faith stronger, or because Satan is fucking with you because you are too good of a Christian and he is terrified of your bringing so many to Christ? Well, let us ask the good quantum scientists. Well, apparently, all events are the superposition of God and Satan’s work simultaneously, and then when you observe it, it will either be only the work of God or only the work of Satan, seemingly generated at random.
Finally, a solid answer on the subject.
Skip White says
@26: Are you going to drink that Nuka Cola Quantum while wearing T-51 power armor?
Nathaniel Frein says
Quantum Soul
Take me home
To the place
I belong
Quantam residue
Keep the rest of you
Take me home
Quantam Soul
(with apologies to John Denver and Micheal Crichton)
ChasCPeterson says
Behold the very quantum Stuff of quantum consciousness fnord.
anteprepro says
(Scene: Graves of Schrodinger and Heisenberg. Penrose, Hameroff, and Chopra dancing and singing in background. Lead singer: Scott Bakula.)
I’m too quantum for my shirt
Too quantum for my shirt
So quantum it huuuuuurts.
Matt Penfold says
There’s no solace in all this quantum.
Cuttlefish says
Microtubules : Penrose :: Pineal Gland : Descartes
Quantum : Hameroff :: Magic : Rowling
Randomfactor says
“Quant. Suff! Quant. Suff!”
(The Stars My Destination.)
Amphiox says
It goes without saying that the micro environment in which microtubules exist in the brain, being warm, wet and chemically chaotic, is the exact opposite of the ideal micro environment for the creation and retention of coherent quantum states, which need to be cold, dry and stable.
One should also note that there are no microtubules within the synaptic gap. Even if you could get a quantum state to be coherent inside one neuron’s microtubules network, for the purposes of consciousness that’s utterly useless if you cannot transmit the information to another neuron. And the synaptic cleft is several orders of magnitude bigger than the scale at which quantum effects predominate.
The likelihood that quantum effects have anything at all to do with consciousness, or anything related to the brain, is pretty small. Planck length scale small.
Rutee Katreya says
Who let the Quanta out?
Is Quanta okay, or must it be quantum?
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
@ anteprepo #66:
Well according to the book of Job, Satan can’t fuck with you without God’s explicit permission. So the answer is always ‘Yes’ to that question.
Rodney Nelson says
Another fan of Alfred Bester.
P.S. Quantum
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
*anteprepro
‘Swhat I get for not using cut n paste.
robro says
Let’s take a quantum leap off the bridge of virtual particles to see if the state of superposition kills the cat. As quanta and gravity are unreconciled, there’s nothing to fear. Besides, HCE died for all your bosons. Read the book.
Sunday Afternoon says
@Eamon Knight:
I don’t see anything relativistic on the wiki page about ferromagnetism (the effect we can feel with a chunk of iron): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferromagnetism
It describes unpaired electrons in the outer shells of atoms being the source of macroscopic fields, all from quantum theory.
Perhaps you are thinking of Maxwell’s equations of electromagnetism that are invariant under the Lorentz transformation?
bertrandle roy says
I read Penrose’s book on consciousness twenty years ago, because I was interested in the subject and because he is one of the most brilliant physicists/mathematicians alive so I thought he could potentially move the subject forward. Unfortunately, the microtubule stuff comes directly out of his arse. There is absolutely nothing supporting it. The argument is that he needs magic/quantum injected into the brain so he looks for anything that could give macroscopic quantum effects, hence microtubules are the answer. No need for evidence here. And why does he need magic in there? Because he wants us to be more than meat computers of course, but also because, as he explains in the first part of his book, he believes that the human brain is able to understand mathematics that a computer couldn’t understand, because of Gödel and stuff. It *is* actually an interesting argument from a mathematical standpoint, but he makes a couple of unwarranted assumptions. First, he compares the theoretical computing capabilities of a digital device with those of an analog ball of nerves. His mathematical argumentation does not take the analog aspect into account at all. He also assumes we reason with the accuracy and safety of a computer, whereas we are wrong all the time, including on complex mathematical problems. We may be capable of mathematical insights that computers will never be able of, he may well be right on that, but only in a fuzzy, meaty way. So there is no need for magic/quantum here, just for some approximation. Second, he assumes that quantum phenomenons and decoherence are essentially non-deterministic and random. The jury is still out on this one. We’re still in the process of figuring out what exactly happens in the transition between the quantum world and the classical world, but we’re pretty sure it’s a smooth transition as we can now catch it in the middle of happening. The whole microtubule thing is a house of cards really. Not much deeper than Chopra, but it persists because of Penrose’s aura as a scientist.
markr1957 (Patent Pending) says
So two woo-meisters can prove the existence of souls by looking into the quantum states of quantum microtubules which cannot be seen or even proven to exist – therefore
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1!1!1eleventy-woo!!!11!
or something
Eamon Knight says
@80: Yes, I’m thinking of the latter (specifically, how current in a wire causes a magnetic field).
sparks says
This post and it’s comments have made today well worth the unrelenting bullshit. My thanks to all. On a different note, I too thought Penrose was a stand up guy. When the hell did he get infected with The Chopra?
Life is like a box of quantum………………….
Glen Davidson says
If only Hawking had realized how to deal with the information in a black hole.
I just recently relived my past life as a black hole. It was pretty cool–downright quantum, in fact.
Glen Davidson
Kagehi says
Just because you don’t understand the rules, and most other people don’t either, doesn’t mean its no playing by rules. I seem to remember a video not long back that, while it got some minor complaints, never the less presented a clear explanation why transfer of data at faster than light speeds using quantum effects wasn’t possible. Turns out there is this thing called “instability” in the universe, and our quantum mechanical machines don’t so much as introduce noise, as filter it out. Add a filter to both ends, and do to the nature of the filter, you end up not with your “data” but the original noise. The result is that, any attempt to transmit information via quantum effects is.. problematic, since its a bit like trying to hear a radio message, when the both the radio, and the transmitter refuse to stay tuned to the correct frequency.
I would say that, on a macro level, the results is a net “zero” deviation. All the noise sort of cancels itself out, and the brain is a macro level object, that doesn’t deal with discrete particles, and what they are doing. So.. The odds of having a “free will” level event… is probably 10 orders of magnitude less likely than winning the lotto. But, that is just a guess.
In any case, it takes a poor understanding of what is, and isn’t, possible with quantum mechanics, to think it salvages free will, or makes the universe non-deterministic.
sunsangnim says
Oh boy.
anthonioroszaeirio says
Quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum mushroom mushroom, quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum mushroom mushroom, quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum mushroom mushroom,quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum A SNAKE A SNAKE !!! SNAKE, A SNAKE, oh it’s a SNAKE !
joed says
As Martin Gardner used to say:
That that is the that that that that refers too!
quantum
BCat70 says
never quantum your cards
while sitting at the table,
there be time enough for quantum
when the dealin’s done.
ralfmuschall says
This stuff has been shot down by Max Tegmark in 1999 (http://arxiv.org/abs/quant-ph/9907009, TL;DR: decoherence destroys any quantum correlations in microtubuli after 100 femtoseconds).
Eamon Knight says
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
Sastra says
Cuttlefish #72 wrote:
You win one internet. Unfortunately, it’s the Quantum version, so it’s really hard to read or work on. Sorry.
There are apologists out there who work the “Godel’s Theorem Proves God” argument. Basically, it goes from “there are true things which can’t be proved” to “therefore, God!” Apart from the ineptness of the populist aphorism, the intermediate steps between premise and conclusion — with, as hymanrosen points out, the assertion that “the mind can no longer be purely physical” — well, those steps are shaky.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Smells like quantum spirit.
erikthebassist says
as Penrose let’s out a Seinfeldesque “Tegmark!”
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
anthonioroszaeirio
jebus fucking christ.
Thanks. Now I have that stuck in my head.
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
Did Sam Beckett ever get home or did his consciousness disperse into the quantum universe at large…?
The world may never know.
Richard Smith says
Overall, a quaint… um… theory.
chigau (棒や石) says
quantums quantums swimming in the ocean
F says
Penrose is his own infection and vector. If one infected the other, it was probably the other way around.
Oh, and at least since the eighties, IIRC.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
I heard that he was able to become the captain of a spaceship and ended up being a man of a certain age along with someone that every body loved.
Quantum.
Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says
No, you’re quite wrong here. It is true of the continuum hypothesis that either it or its negation can be added to standard set theory, and the same is true of the axiom of choice: they have been proved independent of standard set theory. The same is definitely not true of Gödel’s theorems, because they refer specifically to unprovability within a given system, and since they state that certain results are unprovable within that given system, and those results are indeed unprovable within that system, they are true. If you add the negation of such a theorem to the given system, the result will be inconsistent, because that negation still refers to the original system. This is easiest to see with Gödel’s second incompleteness theorem, which states (with proof) that you cannot prove the consistency of arithmetic within arithmetic. If you add the negation of this to arithmetic, it states that you can prove the consistency of arithmetic within arithmetic. But you can’t; and since you can prove from the axioms you started with that you can’t, the resulting system is inconsistent. You can add the statement that you can’t prove the consistency of arithmetic within arithmetic, to arithmetic, and still have a consistent system, but this is redundant, as that can be proved without the extra axiom.
None of this, of course, means that Penrose’s claim is correct.
True – all that is needed is to start from the axioms and apply the rules of inference first for all one-step derivations, then all two-step derivations, and so on; but there is no algorithm that will determine, for an arbitrary statement in the language of axiomatic set theory, whether it is true or false, because however long you go on adding inferential steps, there is no guarantee you will reach a proof either of the statement or its negation – and in some cases, you never will.
Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says
I should have added: “provided arithmetic is indeed consistent”! You can also (provided arithmetic is indeed consistent) add the statement that arithmetic is consistent, to arithmetic, and still have a consistent system – but you won’t be able to prove that consistency within the expanded system.
Zeppelin says
I’m confused by the notion that quantum effects in the brain would somehow enable “free will”.
As far as I can tell, it would just mean that what your meat computer does is not predictable from its current state. But I don’t see how being partly random would make neurological responses more meaningful in relation to some vaguely defined notion of “consciousness” or “free will”.
Maybe my confusion stems from the fact that no-one has so far been able to give me a coherent definition of either “consciousness” or “free will” :I
viaten says
I’m sick of Deepak and his kind talking quantum so much. I quantum all to stop it.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
I choose quantum will.
Woo_Monster, Sniffer of Starfarts says
Quantum, Quantum, bo-buantum,
Banana-fana fo-fuantum
Mee-Mi-mo-muantum
Quantum!
Don Quijote says
Dimmi quantum tu verrai,
dimmi quantum…quantum…quantum
ogremeister says
Like quanta under the bridge, these are the daze of our lives.
UnknownEric says
Does your soul suffer from soulburn?
Tum, ta-tum-tum, QUANTUM!
Audley Z. Darkheart (liar and scoundrel) says
Quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum BATMAN!
ogremeister says
PZ:
Pourquantum?
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
No quantum grace?
Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says
Ethanol or methylcarbinol? Only quantum knows for sure.
F says
Quantum ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis eleifend option congue nihil imperdiet doming id quod mazim placerat facer possim assum. Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica, quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi, qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in quantum.
grignon says
Eleventy-woo! snicker…
push pole antacid
Caine, Divisitrix du mal says
The Quantumn Tomatoes™, holder of my QM soul, have withered in the snow. Snow – it’s the quantum devil, oh my yes.
Tethys says
The devil went down to Quantum, he was looking for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind ‘cos he was Quantum and he was willin’ to make a deal.
When he came across this young man sawin’ on a fiddle and playin’ it Quantum.
And the devil jumped upon a quantum stump and said: “Boy let me tell you what:
“I guess you didn’t know it, but I’m a quantum player too.
“And if you’d care to take a dare, I’ll make a bet with you.
“Now you play a pretty good quantum, boy, but give the devil his due:
“I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, ‘cos I think I’m better than you.”
The boy said: “My name’s Johnny and it might be a sin,
“But I’ll take your quantum, your gonna regret, ‘cos I’m the best that’s ever been.”
Johnny you rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard.
‘Cos Quantum broke loose in Georgia and the devil deals the cards.
And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold.
But if you lose, the quantum gets your soul.
Nentuaby says
Arkady:
… quantum thesis quantum quantum quantum experiment.
erikthebassist says
Quixotic quacks quip quarelled queries questioning qualities quintissentially quantum.
01jack says
If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that quantum kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.
opposablethumbs says
¡Quantum me duele que no existes, mi alma! ;-)
.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the Penrose’ quantumly,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin?
opposablethumbs says
Audley!!!!! I love you and you owe me a sniny new monitor plz.
chip says
I’m surprised nobody’s commented on the similarity between this and Smurf vocabulary where random words are replaced with “smurf.” Only quantumy-er.
CSB says
The whole “setting” paragraph feels like one of those weird quantum surrealist Twitter accounts where every word is in allcaps and nothing makes any sense. I like it.
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum Badger! quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum Badger! quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum Snake!
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
stop that
briandavis says
If they could just find a way to power it with cold fusion then this quantum consciousness might work.
Rodney Nelson says
Quantum is a second declension Latin word. It’s a neuter noun and declines as follows:
Singular
Nominative – quantum
Vocative – quantum
Accusative – quantum
Genitive – quanti
Dative – quanto
Ablative – quanto
Plural
Nominative – quanta
Vocative – quanta
Accusative – quanta
Genitive – quantorum
Dative – quantis
Ablative – quantis
Mark Sherry says
KG wrote:
I don’t think hymanrosen was claiming that Gödel’s theorems could be negated and added as axioms, but the unprovable statements. As far as I can tell, they’re right.
By Gödel’s 1st Incompleteness theorem, a statement is true for all models of an axiomatic system, if and only if it can be proved using First Order Logic. Similarly, it’s false for all models iff it can be proven to be false using FOL. From his 2nd Incompleteness theorem, we can deduce that unprovable-but-true statements are only true in some but not all models. (Similarly, unprovable-but-false statements.) By adopting the unprovable statement as an axiom, we prune away models where that axiom doesn’t hold, but since there is at least one (in reality, infinitely) many models where it does hold, the resulting axiomatic system is still consistent.
Also, I believe that ZFC + “ZFC is consistent” is as consistent as ZFC on its own, although the new system can’t comment on the consistency of ZFC + “ZFC is consistent”. On the other hand, ZFC + “ZFC plus this axiom is consistent” is inconsistent.
Quantum.
Audley Z. Darkheart (liar and scoundrel) says
Quantum quantum dark side quantum quantum.
Rich Woods says
Every time I look at Penrose’s ideas, they collapse.
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
@Rodney Nelson #130:
So a herd of quanta is called a quantorum. Good to know!
Now pardon me. I’ve just come up with an excellent new marketing strategy.
anthonioroszaeirio says
Is Skyfall much better than Quantum of Solace ?
F says
CSB
Or reading someone’s reprinted list of Tweets, or a Storify.
Dimmi quantum tu verrai
Dimmi quantum quantum quantum
L’anno il giorno l’ora in cui
Forse tu mi bacerai
Ogni stante tenderò
Fino a quantum, quantum, quantum
D’improviso ti vedrò
Sorridente accanto a me
Se vuoi dirmi di si
Devi dirlo per che
Non ha sensa per me
La mia vita sensa te
Dimmi quantum tu verrai
Dimmi quantum quantum quantum
E baciando mi dirai
Non ci la sceremo mai
unclefrogy says
quantum and quantum
quantum light and dark quantum
mostly quantum wah
uncle frogy
UnknownEric says
“Corn Nuts!”
“BQ or Quantum?”
“BQ!”
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
Quäntis Brand Quantum Ablative Armor!
♪ Nothing protects you from evil spirits like Quäntis! ♫
Worried that the eternally persisting spirits of malevolent beings might someday attack you or your family? Not sure how to defend against threats whose presence cannot be seen, felt, or detected in any meaningful way?
Then Quäntis may be right for you!
Tell us how it works, Bob!
Well, Shelley, it’s simple. Quäntis is made of quantumly activated microtubules in a state of indeterminacy. They attract incoming spirit particles via microgravity and through a process called orchestrated objective reduction, they intercept and interact with the incoming malevolent ghost, or ‘quantumgeist‘. Of course, as you know, when interaction occurs at the quantum level, both waveforms are collapsed, and the evil spirit can be safely reflected away from your precious, eternal soul in the form of Dark Matter.
So it’s like, ablative armor for your consciousness!
That’s right, Shelley! Protect yourself and your fragile, easily harmed loved ones from evil spirits with Quäntis!
Quäntis! It’s Undefinable!
Richard Smith says
Q is for the queerest things they say;
U is for the universe not running that way;
A is for the anguish in our minds we feel;
N is for the nonsense in their spiel;
T is for the theory, much misused;
U is for the ugly way that it’s abused;
M is for the morons who will never see
just how much they fail at quantum theory.
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
I give you: Qantasauraus!
What? That’s close to quantum, right?
A. R says
But who fertilizes the flaming quantum tomatoes if loop quantum gravity isn’t true? Quantum.
A. R says
Also: Quantum*10^∞ Beat that Chopra!
Richard Smith says
What makes a king out of a slave? Quantum! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Quantum! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Quantum! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Quantum! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Quantum!
Kel says
Has Matthew Segall turned up to tell us how enlightened he is yet?
timothya1956 says
Quantumamera
Guajira Quantumamera
Quantumamera
Guajira Quantumameraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yo no soy marinero, soy capitan!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Attack of the quantum snark.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Man, there’s a lot of unexplained phenomenon
out there in the world.
Lot of things people say
What the heck’s going on?
Let me tell ya!
Who built the pyramids?
QUANTUM!
Who built Stonehenge?
QUANTUM!
Richard Smith says
A new movie is in the works, about ancient alien technology disrupting the information in the microtubules of people’s brains, leaving them unable to distinguish their rear end from a hole in the ground.
Quantum Ass and the Pit.
A. R says
Anyone here remember Kohldamunga? (a href=”https://www.julianbakery.com/quantum-tomato-concentrate-with-lycopene/”>Yep, this shit exists.
A. R says
linkbork
A. R says
making an addendum of quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum to the above.
A. R says
Thus making is a QUANTUM LINKBORK!!!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantum Knight Returns
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Nights In White Quantum
silomowbray says
You put your left-spin in
You take your left-spin out
You put your left-spin in
And you shake it all about
You do the quantum pokey
And entangle all around
That’s what it’s all about!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum Is The Night
Tethys says
Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something
I think you’ll understand
When I say that something
I quantoo hold your hand
Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says
I don’t recognise your formulation of Gödel’s 1st Incompleteness theorem, although I’m not saying it isn’t equivalent (I don’t know). According to wikipedia, the usual natural language forumation is:
Now “true”, here, means “true in all models of the theory”: a theory is complete iff all such statements are provable in the theory, and incomplete otherwise; and the statement used to prove the first incompleteness theorem, for any sufficiently rich theory T (the theory’s Gödel sentence), is of the form “G is unprovable within T”, where G is that very statement itself, asserting that G is unprovable within T. We can without causing inconsistency add G to T to give T’, which will have its own Gödel sentence, G’. However, its negation, ~G would say “G is provable within T”. But G asserts precisely the negation of this, meaning that ~G, as an axiom of T+~G, is provable within T+~G – but so is G, because the new axiom says so.
Air says
Historical anecdote-the first time I heard of this particular notion was in a BS session with Bart Hibbs, then director of JPL – in 19 freakin’ 64.
50+ years later-same ol same ol.
-oh; quantum quantum quantum
Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says
Sorry – failed to close the link. Here it is.
Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says
Sorry again: quantum. (No doubt the failure to include this @160 was what buggered the link.)
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To Quantum Trilogy
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To Quantum
The Quantum At The End Of The Universe
Life, The Universe And Quantum
So Long, And Thanks For All The Quantum Tomatoes
Mostly Quantum
stevem says
according to the gnomes of South Parl:
1) steal underpants
2) … QUANTUM
3) Profit!
F says
[First Man:] I think, I think I am, therefore I am, I think.
[Penrose:] Of course you are my bright little quantum,
You’ve miles
And miles
Of tubules
Quantum microtubules of your forefather’s fruit
And now to suit our
Theory of quantum orchestrated objective reduction,
You’re consciousness is a quantum dot of ensoulment.
[First Man:] I’m not that, I know I’m not, at least, I think you must be fucking nuts. WTF?
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Quantum the Poo
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantum Of Wraith.
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Quantums Falling
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
A priest a rabbi and a quantum walk into a bar
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Buffy The Quantum Slayer
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantum Bunch
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Always Quantum in Philadelphia
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Quantum Driver
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Q*U*A*N*T*U*M
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
The good the bad and the Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
All In The Quantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
175 haha
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
E.Q.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Quantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Emmet Otter and the Jugband Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Seven Quantum
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Quantum. Quantum Quantum.
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
The Fifth Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Bequantumed
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
The Big Lequantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
A New Quantum
The Quantum Strikes Back
Quantum Of The Jedi
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Release the Quantum!
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Riders of the Lost Quantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
On Food and Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Towering Quantum
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Raiders of the Lost Quantum
(but I guess riders fits just as well)
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
The Joy of Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Godquantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Ronco inside the Quantum Quantum scrambler
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum’s Honor
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
The Walking Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
A Quantum’s And It’s Dog
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
The first rule of quantum is you do not talk about quantum.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
I Have No Quantum And I Must Scream
erikthebassist says
You can’t swing a dead cat anymore without hitting a quantum woo-peddler, but also because the cat is totes alive and will scratch your fucking eyes out if you try.
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
The Lion the Quantum and the Wardrobe
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantum Of Oz
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Aw Cracklin’ Quantum get on board
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Cat Scratch Quantum
F says
Quantum Diver
You’ve been down too long in the midnight sea
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Journey To The Center Of Your Quantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Kentucky Straight Quantum Whiskey
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
I Wanna Be Your Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum Rain
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
A Farewell To Quantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Night of the Living Quantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Nazi Quantum Fuck Off
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Hell Comes To Quantumtown
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Too Quantum To Fuck
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
The Book of Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Fresh Fruit For Rotten Quantums
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
The quantum of redundancy quantum
Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says
Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Quantum?
F says
She Divines Quanta
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantumlarking
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Big Quantum in Little China
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantum Is A Lonely Hunter
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantumrama
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Quantum Whisperer
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
My Quantum
Amphiox says
Godel proved that SOME things are unprovable. Godel didn’t prove that EVERYTHING was unprovable. Among the few things that are unprovable are still many, many, many things that ARE provable.
If EVERYTHING was unprovable, then Godel’s theorems themselves would be unprovable, and therefore it would be unprovable that things are unprovable.
So utter, total, and absolutely certain knowledge of everything is not possible. From a practical perspective, so what? Big deal. That’s the state all of us limited minds find ourselves in anyways, regardless of whether or not Godel is true.
For real life, a sufficiently close approximation of reality is plenty good enough.
Amphiox says
Oh yeah.
And quantum quantum godel quantum.
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Debbie does Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Goldquantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Children of the Quantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
General Tsao’s Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Dr Strangequantum: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Quantum
procyon says
Quantum quantum bo bantum,
Banana fana fo fontum,
Fe fi mo montum,
Quantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Quantum Ball Soup
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantumsday Book
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Exile on Quantum Street
F says
I do my part behind the lines swabbing door handles of cop cars with microtubules mixed with quantum.
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
…let me just:
Dr Strangequantum: Or how I learned To Stop Worrying And Quantum The Bomb
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
A Night At The Quantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
No one really knows the reason for the Mona Lisa’s quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Between The Quantums
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Gone With The Quantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Luke, I am your Quantum
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
Eternal Sunshine of the Quantum Mind
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Sargent Pepper’s Lonely Quantums Club Band
Glen Davidson says
In fact, a fool and his quantum are not soon parted.
Glen Davidson
F says
Listen, Colonel Bat Quantum, if that is your real name.
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
QUANTUM!!!!!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
I Get By With A Little Quantum From My Friends
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
I love how Beatrice and Janine thought up Dr. Strangequantum pretty much simultaneously.
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
frankly my dear I don’t give a quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
One Tin Quantum
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
My Quantum Lady
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
The old man and the quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum And Superquantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Fear and Quantum in Las Vegas
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Black Hole Quantum
procyon says
And Human Quantum, Mr.Allnut, is what we are here to rise above.
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Give me quantum or give me death!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Electric Kool-Aide Quantum Test
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
I was just nitpicking. strangelove->strangequantum, so the other love had to become quantum too.
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Quantum doesn’t change its spots
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantum Puff Girls
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
A census taker once tried to microtubule me. I ate his quantum with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
You have a point, Beatrice.
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
The only thing that really worried me was the quantum. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an quantum binge. And I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum 13
rq says
Quantum Wars: Return of the Quantum
Rev. BigDumbChimp says
Do the quantum have large talons
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Under The Quantum
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
Richard Smith @141:
You have won Internetz for life.
That was totes amazing!
chigau (棒や石) says
50 Quanta of Grey
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantum Of Champions
erikthebassist says
Quantum in Seattle
You’ve got Quantum
When Harry Met Quantum
Joe vs the Quantum
City of Quantum
When a man Loves a Quantum
French Quantum
anathema says
It is a truth quantumly acknowledged that a microtubule in possession of a soul must be in want of quantum information.
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
We are the quantums!
rq says
Lord of the Quantum
(And may the quantum be with you!)
Tethys says
It was the best of quantum, it was the worst of quantum.
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
What is love?
Baby don’t quantum
Don’t quantum
No more
I don’t know, what can I do
What else can I say, it’s quantum woo
I know we’re one, superposition
I can’t go on
What is love?
Baby don’t quantum
Don’t quantum
No more
I don’t know, why you’re not there
I give you my cat, but you don’t care
Is it alive or is it dead
Give me a sign
What is love?
Baby don’t quantum
Don’t quantum
No more
Whoa whoa….
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
Q quote: Quite the quantum quest.
Banned Atheist says
Yah the thing with Godel’s theorems is that they are mathematical theorems, not scientific theories. People confuse these two all the time. As a math person first and science geek 2nd, I spent my college career proving abstract theorems that will probably never find any application IRL. Only a tiny fraction of maths are applied maths — the rest of pure math is abstract and just doesn’t apply to scientific puzzles.
The distinction is simple really: theorems can be proved… theories can be demonstrated. Theorems are not demonstrated and theories are not proved.
We pure math dorks would appreciate it if folks didn’t drag math into such murky and all-too-concrete waters as, y’know, reality. My point? It doesn’t matter what Godel said about numbers, that has squat to do with quantum physics.
(For quantum non-woo, try Lie’s Theorems.)
Tethys says
The quantum also rises.
If I said you had a beautiful quantum, would you hold it against me?
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Bohemian Quantum
Beelzebub has a quantum set aside for me!
rq says
Or, chigau @273, 50 Shades of Quantum…
anathema says
Do Quanta Dream of Electron Sheep?
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Five Easy Quantums
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
Holy smurfin’ shit Smurfette! This smurfing quantum crap is getting smurfily out of hand.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Easy Quantum
erikthebassist says
Quantumjuice!
procyon says
A penny for your quanta?
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Pinky And The Quantum
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Quit your quanting!
(just kidding)
Lofty says
The man has an eye-queue* of a hunnerd-sixty-two, how can you doubt his quantum woo?
(*=Incredible Quantumninity)
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum And The Beast
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
Quantum? We ain’t got no quantum! We don’t need no quantum! I don’t have to show you any stinking quantum!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Happy Quantum
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Quantum is in the eye of the beholder
chigau (棒や石) says
This place is an echoing quantum chamber, full of quantumpuppets.
kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says
Pseudoscience:
We keep on trying ’till we run out of quantum.
Also,
The Quantum is a lie.
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
On the first day of Quantum, my true love gave to me, a pic of Chopra on my quantum tree.
On the second day of Quantum my true love gave to me, two Deepak pens and a pic of Chopra on my quantum tree.
(someone else can take over)
Lofty says
STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR QUANTUM OR YOU’LL GO BLIIIND!!!!!!!!!!!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantum Of Sierra Madre
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
Kwanzaa and Quantum sure do sound alike. Is there a conspiracy afoot?
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
One morning I shot an elephant in my quantum. How he got in my quantum, I don’t know.
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
Quantum Homeopathic Products On Sale at GNC.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Stevarious, I really like that one.
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to quantum woo me, aren’t you?
chigau (棒や石) says
To Kill a Quantingbird
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
A long time ago in a quantum far, far away…
erikthebassist says
And may I see this storage facility Dr Venkman?
No.
And why not, Dr Venkman?
Because you didn’t say the magic word.
And what is… the magic word Dr Venkman?
Quantum!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Battle Hymn Of The Quantum
ex machina says
Quid pro quantum
kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says
How many quantums it takes to make a quack ?
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
All quantum and no woo makes Jack a dull boy.
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
Soylent Green is quantum!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum’s Lot
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
Stevarious #315:
Not to mention a depletion in the quantum sperm count from all that…quantum ejection.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Look Back In Quandum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Bride Of Quantum
Matt Penfold says
Help, help me Quanta.
chigau (棒や石) says
Romeo and Quantum
A Midquantum Night’s Woo
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Member Of The Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Reflections In A Golden Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantum Mystique
kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says
Quantum of collapse
feralboy12 says
You Quant Always Get What You Quantum
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
Tony #318:
Just remember. Life begins at microtubulation! Waveform collapse is murder!
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Take The Quantum and Run
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Mismeasure Of Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Fresh Quantum Of Bel Air
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum Hard
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Alice In Quantum Land
Through The Quantum Glass
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
“Quantum’s on first?”
“Maybe.”
erikthebassist says
Quantum Harder
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Quantum. James Quantum.
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
The Quantums take Manhattan.
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
“Are you… Are you quantum? There’s no quantum in baseball!”
erikthebassist says
Raiders of the Lost Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Qhantum Hard With A Vengeance
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
“These are not the quantums you are looking for.”
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum Fiction
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
“Toto, we’re not in Quantum anymore!”
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Dances With Quantums
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
“Look, daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, a quantum gets his microtubule.”
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Reservoir Quantums
erikthebassist says
I have to go see a man about a quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Inglorious Quantums
anathema says
In the beginning was the Woo, and the Woo was with Quantum, and the Woo was Quantum.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantum Brothers
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
I do believe in quantums, I do, I do!
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Quantum Rider
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantum Teen Hunger Force
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Pink Floyd’s The Dark Side of the Quantum
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Volkswagen Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum Ghost: Coast To Coast
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
A Quantum Full Of Secrets
erikthebassist says
I’d like to buy the world a quantum
erikthebassist says
Quantum, never had it, never will!
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
The Lion, the Witch and the Quantum
anathema says
The Quantum Incident of the Soul in the Microtubules
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum Heart Mother
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Obscured By Quantum
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Houston, we have a quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum Arcade
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Quantum for your thoughts?
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Double Nickels On The Quantum
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
I call my penis the Quantum Torpedo…
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum Lesson Part #2
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Right Quantum
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
Luke, I am your father. Search the universal Quantum Consciousness. You know this to be true.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
…by the way, my quantum is the hammer.
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
I think one of my cats just took a Quantum poop in the litter box.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Stop it! This have become too quantum.
mothra says
Five microtubules for quantum souls under the sky.
Seven for the quantum frauds in the boxes of woo.
Nine for immortal man doomed to die.
One for Depok Chopra, in his padded room, where the quanta lie.
One microtubule to rule them all,
One microtubule to find them.
One mircotubule to bing them all,
and in the darkness bind them,
In the Padded Room where the quanta lie.
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
There’s something strange
in your neighborhood.
WHo can you call:
Quantum busters!
An invisible man
sleeping in your bed.
Who can you call:
Quantum Busters.
I ain’t fraid of no quantum ghost.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Have you never been quantum?
erikthebassist says
Anyway, like I was sayin’, quantum is the fruit of the woo. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There’s uh, quantum-kabobs, quantum creole, quantum gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple quantum, lemon quantum, coconut quantum, pepper quantum, quantum soup, quantum stew, quantum salad, quantum and potatoes, quantum burger, quantum sandwich. That- that’s about it.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantum Room
Rodney Nelson says
Teenage Mutant Ninja Quanta.
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Well I’ve never been to Quanta,
But I kinda like the music.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
In Through The Quantum Door
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
It’s The Great Quantum, Charlie Brown!
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
Duuuuuude!
I just totally smoked a bowl, and the world looks groovy. I’m feelin’ really chill like and I think I’m melding with the underlying quantum field of the universe. It’s totally cool duuuude!
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
“Colonel Penrose, did you order the quantum woo?”
“You don’t have to answer that question!”
“I’ll answer the question… You want answers?”
“I want the quantum!”
“You can’t handle the quantum! Son, we live in a world that has woo. And that woo has to be guarded by particles with microgravity. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Hameroff? I have a greater consciousness than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Schrodinger the cat and you curse the radiation. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Schrodinger’s death, while tragic, probably saved particles. And my consciousness, while distributed and incomprehensible to you, saves particles… You don’t want the quantum. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that woo. You need me on that woo. We use words like orchestrated, objective, reduction…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use ’em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very microtubules I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up some microgravity and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!
“Did you order the quantum woo?”
“I did the job you sent me to do.”
“Did you order the quantum woo?”
“You’re goddamn right I did!!”
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum Riders In The Sky
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
erik:
I see you cannot *steam* the Quantum.
erikthebassist says
Say hello to my little quantum!
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Where have all the quanta gone,
Long time passing?
Where have all the quanta gone,
Long time ago?
Where have all the quanta gone?
Gone to tubules, everyone.
When woo they ever learn?
When woo they ever learn?
Rodney Nelson says
Stevarious, Public Health Problem #135
No. Quantorum is the plural genative or possessive. A cat belonging to a herd of quanta would be Felis quantorum.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Tangled Up In Quantum
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
What light through yonder quantum breaks?
‘Tis the spin, and microtubules are the light.
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Stevarious,
I quantum you
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Masters Of Quantum
erikthebassist says
Have fun storming the quantum!
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Jean Claude van Quantum
Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says
I see your Quantum is as big as mine.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Like A Quantum Stone
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
“Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the quanta in the sky”
– – Charlemagne
erikthebassist says
You can’t handle the quantum!
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
It’s not the size of your quantum, it’s how you use it
Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says
Tries to step away from the quantum, but gets tunneled back in…
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Absolutely Quantum Marie
To live outside the law
You must be quantum, darling
Rodney Nelson says
Quantnam Style
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
You can’t leave the quantum, quantum owns you!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum Quinn
erikthebassist says
refresh superposition of posts again, quantum fail =(
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Simon & Garfunkel: The Sound of Quantum
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Quantum of the Lambs
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Metal Quantum Machine
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Tommy Lee Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
I Am A Quantum
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
We need to be careful. This could get silly.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Bridge Over Quantum Water
erikthebassist says
what are you talking about tony? I steam my quantum at least twice a day!
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
North American P-51D Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Me And Julio Down By The Quantum Yard
F says
Cherish is the word I use to describe
The vague woo that I have hiding here for you inside
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
What’s the quantum, Kenneth?
F says
I mean, quantum
erikthebassist says
Ogvorbis? Could? lol…
oh and quantum
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
One Trick Quantum
anathema says
I am become Quantum, destroyer of materialism.
F says
Quantarama
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Late In The Quantum
F says
QuantumMeansQuantum
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
[Elvis]You ain’t nothin’ but a quantum,
You ain’t never caught a rabbit and you ain’t no friend of mine.[/Elvis]
Glen Davidson says
The quantum sees into your soul.
Not surprising, since it is your soul (per some cranks).
Glen Davidson
F says
I only had a Quantum, five cent deposit
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
You Could Have It So Much Quantum
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Of Quanta and Men
The Grapes of Quanta
Rodney Nelson says
Moby Quantum
Rodney Nelson says
Sometimes a quantum is just a quantum.
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Once I had a quantum,
Made it run.
Made it race against time.
Once I had a quantum,
Now it’s done.
Brother can you spare a dime.
erikthebassist says
You had me at quantum
Glen Davidson says
I believe in quantum because it first believed in me.
Glen Davidson
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
The Quantum Horror Picture Show
Louis says
Dirty Little Quantum Superpositions Volume 5 (Close Up Godel Shots)?
Louis
P.S. Sorry, I had to. No. Really. It’s a compulsion.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Let’s Do The Quantum Warp Again
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
@ Beatrice #394
Well, I AM extremely quantumable.
Glen Davidson says
There is no God but quantum, and Penrose and Hameroff are his prophets.
Or Chopra is, I don’t know.
Glen Davidson
F says
Quantum, these quanta want to change your quantum. They don’t want quantum or any of these quanta to live here because it’s bad for their quantum. They use quantum to try and force quanta to believe they’re quantum. If you let them stay here, they will build quanta and quanta. They will take all your quanta and replace them with quantum. These quantum have no good quantum to live on quantum, so they must come here to quantum. Please, let these quanta stay where they can grow and prosper without any quanta, quanta, or quanta.
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Louis:
Have you no self quantacontrol?
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Quantum Shop Of Horrors
erikthebassist says
Quantum…. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantum! Quantum! Quantum!
erikthebassist says
That quantasutra
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Your only chance of getting this airplane down safely is to find someone who knows how to fly and didn’t have the quantum for dinner!
F says
Professor Myers’ Quantum-Along Blog
erikthebassist says
err, dammit, the Quantasutra
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
On The Quantum Front
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Horton Hears a Quanta
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Green Quantum and Ham
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
All Quiet On The Western Quantum
erikthebassist says
Looks like I picked a bad day to quit quantum tunneling.
Louis says
Oggie,
Well I sort of do, let’s just say it exists in a superposition with a compulsion to make knob jokes and any interaction with the rest of the universe causes it to decohere.
Decohere everywhere.
Dirty, dirty, messy decoherence.
All over everyone’s eigenvalues.
Oh yeah. Look at that time independent equation. Oh yeah. I’m going to….
MEXICAN HAT ANALOGY!!!!!
{Straightens quantum}
Oh I am very sorry. Allow me to wipe it off.
Louis
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
All Quiet on the Quantum Front
or
All Quantum on the Western Front
Stevarious, Public Health Problem says
Plan 9 From Quantum Space!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Get your kicks on Quantum 66
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quan Or Quanta
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Damn quantum superposition. causing duplicate posts by different people.
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Quanta Claus!
Louis says
A Quantum of Solace…
….nah….no one could be that stupid.
Louis
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
From Quantum With Love
Glen Davidson says
When you think you see a light at the end of the tunnel, it’s just a quantum tunneling.
Glen Davidson
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Quantadile Dundee
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
There Is A Quantum That Never Goes Out
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Dr. Quantum
erikthebassist says
That’s a mighty nice quantum you got there.
Thank you, I just got it stuffed.
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
OHMSQ
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Quantumfinger
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Naked Quantum
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
“That was a priceless quantum!”
“Not anymore.”
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
quantum erat demonstrandum
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Don’t point that quantum at me!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
A Tale Of Two Quantums
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Blazing Quantums
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
If I Should Fall From Grace From Quantum
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Some Like It Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Sodomy, Rum And The Quantum
Glen Davidson says
You should always carry a quantum in your wallet for protection.
Glen Davidson
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Rick Quantorum?
No. That would be in bad taste.
Er, no. Not taste. Just bad.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Don’t Let The Quantum Go Down On Me
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Someone must have been telling lies about quantum, he knew he had done nothing wrong but, one morning, he was arrested.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
A Boy Named Quantum
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
The Man In Quantum
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Quantum, Come Home!
erikthebassist says
This thread will undoubtedly be the new #1 hit for “quantum” on google by tomorrow.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Ring Of Quantum
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Lies, quantum lies, and statistics
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
The Man With The Golden Quantum
Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says
Men who stare at quanta
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Is it live, or is it Quantumex?
F says
Letting the days go by, let the quantum hold me down
Letting the days go by, quanta flowing underground
Glen Davidson says
Dammit, every time I buy quanta they’re always entangled together.
Can’t they prevent that?
Glen Davidson
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Natural Quantum
Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says
Stir-fried quanta with mangetout in a piquant black bean sauce.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Will You Still Quantum Me Tomorrow?
anathema says
If you gaze into the Quantum, the Quantum also gazes into you.
erikthebassist says
have a good weekend folks, I’m quantahere.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar says
Quantumwater Jack
Tethys says
I am sick of these mother fucking quantas, on this mother fucking quantum!