Quantum


[The scene: a misty auditorium in an undefinable state in the universe. The seats are occupied by ghosts; Sir Roger Penrose presides benignly from a pulpit overlooking all. He gestures, and Stuart Hameroff rises to deliver the sermon.]

Quantum quantum quantum. Quantum quantum. Quantum quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum quantum. Quantum quantum. Quantum our experience of consciousness quantum is the result of quantum gravity effects inside these quantum microtubules – a process they call quantum orchestrated objective reduction (Orch-OR) quantum quantum, quantum quantum.

Quantum, quantum quantum. Quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum. Quantum quantum. The quantum information within the microtubules is not destroyed, it can’t be destroyed, it just quantum distributes and dissipates to the universe at quantum large. Therefore, quantum.

In a near-death experience the microtubules lose their quantum state but the information within them is not quantum destroyed. Quantum quantum. Quantum quantum quantum. Or in layman’s terms, the soul does not die but returns to quantum the quantum universe quantum. Quantum. Quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum Quantum.

Quantum, my preciousss. We wants it, quantum quantum.

[Hameroff sits back down. Penrose smiles and silently blesses the audience. All disappear, quantally, as the quantum choir chants about quanta.]

Comments

  1. Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says

    And in last night’s game, the Quantum State Tomatoes defeated the Newtonian University Figs ~42 to 28.

  2. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    No, actually, watch the chicken video. It gets really interesting when he gets deeper into the lecture.

  3. says

    The “Chicken chicken” talk makes more sense.

    I really enjoyed The Emperor’s New Mind — the whole experience of wrapping my head around number theory, computability and Godel, and I was (at the time) impressed by his Godel-based argument that our brains can’t be purely algorithmic. But when he got into the quantum microtubule stuff I was like, hooookaaaay, could be, maybe I suppose, he’s the hotshot physicist…

    That was 20 years ago. Today I’d probably still enjoy that first part, but just laugh at the second.

  4. says

    Most amusing. But aren’t these idiots just pursuing the same ludicrous strategy as PZ and virtually all of his horde? They have to find a soul somewhere within physical reality, and you lot have to find a “soul”. The hard problem makes fools of you all.

  5. eric says

    The quantum information within the microtubules is not destroyed, it can’t be destroyed, it just quantum distributes and dissipates to the universe at quantum large

    I’m not sure why that’s quantum comforting. The same quantum thing is true of the atoms making quantum up my body quantum. That’s not quantum the sort of immortality quantum most people are looking for. Quantum.

  6. krgrace says

    Those who continue to torture others with this nonsense will be sent to Quantumano Bay for re-education.

  7. darwinharmless says

    PZ, I detect a hint of sarcasm in this post. Just a hint. Nothing quantum definitive. Are you saying this is quantum bullshit? But.. but… these are real quantum scientists. They couldn’t be saying anything quantum stupid, could they? My faith in science is quantum slipping away. I must turn to a reliable source that is forever true and unchanging, but where could I find such a book. I’ll have to check into a motel and I sure hope the quantum Gideon society is still stocking them with quantum bibles.

  8. says

    I’m not sure why that’s quantum comforting. The same quantum thing is true of the atoms making quantum up my body quantum. That’s not quantum the sort of immortality quantum most people are looking for. Quantum.

    Yeah, I’ve never gotten this quantum argument. The quantum information of my consciousness can also be transferred to quantum writing. That doesn’t mean that if my diary hangs around forever that I’ve achieved quantum immortality. The continuation of “consciousness” is something that’s easy to take for granted when you aren’t quantum considering mental illness, brain tumors, quantums, drugs, traumatic brain injuries, etc, etc.

    It’s a quantum property of our brains and is subject to quantum biology and quantum chemistry. Take away the quantum biology and quantum chemistry, and that’s no more you than the quantum molecules you excrete into the toilet every day or the quantum scribblings in your diary.

  9. Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says

    But aren’t these idiots just pursuing the same ludicrous strategy as PZ and virtually all of his horde? They have to find a soul somewhere within physical reality, and you lot have to find a “soul”. The hard problem makes fools of you all. – Vijen

    What the quantum are you babbling about? The “hard problem” is hard only in the sense that the brain and its relationships to the rest of the body and to the environment are complex.

  10. Snoof says

    The word “quantum” now looks completely meaningless to me.

    This is going to make explaining the photoelectric effect a little difficult.

  11. anteprepro says

    Ahahaha. What the fuck is this shit? They think that “quantum information in neurons” survives death and “returns to the universe” ergo Quantum Soul? How about “neurotransmitter information in neurons” is responsible for consciousness, neurotransmitters aren’t destroyed, they just disappate, ergo we have a neurotransmitter “soul”. Sounds a whole lot less magical, and thus far more appropriately ridiculous, when sciencey illogic doesn’t rely on spooky ol’ quantum.

  12. prae says

    Seen a book in a local store about Quantum Matrix Healing. It hat angels, too. Are angels made of quantum now?

    Now I want a bottle of ice-cold Nuka Cola Quantum. With the mild strontium radioisotope.

  13. anteprepro says

    They have to find a soul somewhere within physical reality, and you lot have to find a “soul”.

    lolwut? We dismiss the existence of souls.

    Soul =/= Consciousness.

    Don’t let believers tell you otherwise.

  14. Sastra says

    Quantum, quantum, quantum.

    Funny, yes — but it’s also interesting if you take it apart and look at all the implications. For one thing, this supports one of the definitions of what it means for something to be “supernatural” — the so-called metaphysical one which depends not on words, but content.

    Does mind come from matter or does matter come from mind? Naturalism opts for the first one; it can be defined as the view that “no causes of events in the natural world are irreducibly mental.” With the supernatural, someone, somewhere posits that mind and/or the products or states of mind (consciousness, values, goals, etc.)are pure and primary: at least some mental things cannot be reduced to non-mental things.

    That’s why this Theory of Quantum Consciousness instinctively looks and feels like woo or supernaturalism, both to us and to them. Look at this:

    They argue that our experience of consciousness is the result of quantum gravity effects inside these microtubules – a process they call orchestrated objective reduction (Orch-OR).

    In a near-death experience the microtubules lose their quantum state but the information within them is not destroyed. Or in layman’s terms, the soul does not die but returns to the universe.

    That first sentence isn’t necessarily woo. It’s unlikely, yes, but not inconceivable that quantum effects in the brain might have something to do with consciousness. But then look at that second sentence. “Quantum Information” is being treated like some kind of consciousness substance, rightly compared to a “soul” which is irreducibly mental. It’s you, what you feel, see, experience: it leaves the body and comes back and remembers being “distribut(ed) and dissipat(ed) to the universe at large.

    If all they said was that when we die the energy leaves the body and goes somewhere else in nature that’s completely unremarkable. But that’s not what they’re doing. Quantum information is being treated like Consciousness, a thing in itself, without parts or composition. It’s recognizably supernatural — and notice what they didn’t do.

    They didn’t say this takes place outside of nature, or outside of the universe. They didn’t invoke the term “supernatural.” They didn’t claim that science can’t discover this or test this or have anything to say about this because you need “faith.”

    Nope. They try to shore this supernatural claim up WITH science. They say it comes from the science. They say it comes from quantum science. QUANTUM SCIENCE.

    Who the hell says you can’t use science on God? That supernatural claims are beyond the scope of objective study and trying to apply disciplined and consistent reasoning to spiritual beliefs is ‘scientism?’ People who say that are just plain wrong. Look at this crap coming out of Penrose and Hameroff. They’ve made the lovely, generous, macro-mistake of putting forth something supernatural which is clear enough to be WRONG.

    And they will be slowly taken apart in tiny bits by experts in the field who don’t just coo and sigh and fall under the spell of anyone who says “quantum.” Their theory will be dissected into smaller and smaller parts until we get to the tiny little bit of quantum information which is not immense and does not contain multitudes, but is practically nothing at all, on its own. That’s how reductionism works. That’s how science works. The smaller you get the simpler you get. “Consciousness” isn’t a simple thing.

    They are just so screwed now. They think they have trapped atheists into their cage; we have instead lured and trapped them into OUR cage. We will chew them into quantum bits. No handwaving allowed in science. And nobody cares if the public just loves your theory.

  15. gabrielcosta says

    Wow, so, repetition and technobabble doesn’t just work for ID and irreducible complexity.
    I strongly recommend Hameroff’s talk in “Beyong Belief”, a posdoc in neuroscience and Lawrence Krauss really demolish any credibility he might have believe his ramblings had.

    Oh, yeah…Quantum!

  16. A Hermit says

    I actually posted the link to the chicken video here first; it’s only because of quantum effects that someone else appears to have beaten me to it.

  17. Sastra says

    I can’t resist quoting Respectful Insolence’s Orac’s take down of what he calls “Choprawoo” (don’t worry, it contains the word “quantum”):

    “Woo woo woo woo woo Dawkins woo woo. Woo woo woo woo woo materialists don’t understand woo woo. Woo woo woo woo Materialists say evolution is random woo woo woo. Woo woo woo anthropic principle. Woo woo woo consciousness woo woo can’t be explained by DNA woo woo. Woo woo consciousness all around woo woo. Woo woo universe is conscious. Woo woo woo quantum theory woo woo. Woo woo woo evolution information theory. Woo woo. Woo woo universal consciousness intelligent design. Woo woo woo. Woo woo woo God woo woo field of consciousness woo woo pervades universe woo woo. Woo woo arrogant skeptics woo woo versus dogmatic fundamentalists woo woo. Woo woo Chopra find middle ground in woo. Woo universe experienced through consciousness woo woo consciousness is God woo woo woo.”

    … There, that could be almost any column Chopra’s written over the last couple of months.

    Or ever, I think.

    This is where Penrose and Hameroff want to go… but don’t dare. Yet.

  18. erikthebassist says

    This quantum nitwit spoke at a Beyond Belief conference (can’t remember which year). Larry Krauss was in the audience and interupted his quantum gibberish to laugh at him and point out that he didn’t know the first thing about quantum mechanics, it was quantumfiably awesome.

  19. says

    @36: Actually magnetism is relativistic (though no doubt there’s a quantum angle to it as well. I actually almost understand relativity; whereas, as Feynman(?) said, no one understands QM).

  20. Gregory Greenwood says

    Vijen @ 12;

    Most amusing. But aren’t these idiots just pursuing the same ludicrous strategy as PZ and virtually all of his horde? They have to find a soul somewhere within physical reality, and you lot have to find a “soul”. The hard problem makes fools of you all.

    What the quantum are you even trying to say here? What makes you think that irrational babbling about supernatural souls amounts to a ‘hard problem’?

    We are atheists, remember – we don’t accept the existence of such things as magic (or ‘quantum’, used here as a synomym for magic) souls, still less have any need to waste our time in a quioxtic quest to find the manifestly non-existent.

  21. erikthebassist says

    oops failure to refresh, the comments were in a quantum super position of states, Schroedinger’s Thread.

    Sorry Gabriel!

  22. Gregory Greenwood says

    I read the link, and now owe my brain recompense for exposing it to such concentrated quantum woo idiocy. Frankly, it came off like bad science fantasy fiction.

    When it comes to reading/watching something about pseudo-scientific magical energy fields containing the consciousness of those who have died, I frankly think it works better if it has light sabres.

  23. zaarcis says

    My quantum brain want to know more about this: “… his Godel-based argument that our brains can’t be purely algorithmic”

    Is it quantum or not quantum?

  24. zaarcis says

    Quantum grammar quantum happens and quantum editing option hides in quantum waves.

    * wants

    My grammar is still quantum, so please don’t quant me.

  25. Sastra says

    Vijen #12 wrote:

    The hard problem makes fools of you all.

    How do you know it doesn’t also make a fool of you?

    Where are your ‘checks and balances?’

  26. sharculese says

    O and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens quantum and all the queer little streets and the pink and blue and yellow houses and the rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a girl where I was a Flower of the mountain quantum when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red quantum and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again quantum and then he asked me would I quantum to say quantum my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him quantum and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume quantum and his heart was going like mad and quantum I said quantum I will Quantum.

  27. gabrielcosta says

    No need for appologies, erikthebassist, the comments certainly were in a quantum superposition state.
    Your comment and mine just made it collapse and it turns out that, from the wave function of all quantum states it could have assumed, we quantumly orchastrated the reduction to a world where Hameroff, Penrose and Deepak are full of shit.
    (Deepak wasn’t in the conversation to begin with but, well, quantum nonlocality had its way).

  28. Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says

    Is this the new “thing”?
    I remember growing up, being told by friends at a Chinese restaurant, that when you open your fortune cookie, you’re supposed to read it and add “…in the bedroom” to the end of your fortune. Are we now to do the same with “quantum”?
    Or is this more a mindless chant, ala zombies and “Braaaainns”?
    Or maybe they go hand in hand: Quantum Brains!
    Deepak Chopra & the Evolution of the Quantum Brain-coming to bookstores near you (but not to tablets; the quantum foam alters the fundamental quantum consistency of technology).

    *apologies if none of the above made sense. I just woke up and was hit by a Quantum Gun.

  29. casezulu says

    When a problem comes along
    You must quantum
    Before the cream sets out too long
    You must quantum
    When something’s goin’ wrong
    You must quantum

  30. barfy says

    My daughter had to watch the movie, “What the bleep do we know” for a high school international baccalaureate class six years ago. The teacher taught the movie as fact until it was pointed out to him that this was a religious piece of tripe and a fundamental misunderstanding of quantum effects. This was pointed out to him by my daughter, who had recently attended a Skeptics conference where Shermer gave a lecture devoted to debunking this crap movie.
    The teacher was none too pleased with his idiocy exposed, and my daughter learned a hard lesson in the fallibility of authority figures and how battles won can still have deleterious consequences.
    Ironically, the class was called, “The Theory of Knowledge” and taught logical fallacies.
    Ultimately, on orders of magnitude, the microtubule experience of quantum effects is as valid as my colon’s experience with waste gas – hence, my quantum farts.

  31. Tualha says

    Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich.

    Ah yes, the Morgan Freeman-narrated documentary “Through the Wormhole”. A well-respected peer-reviewed journal, that. Clearly this is to be taken…with at least a quantum of seriousness.

  32. anteprepro says

    Do you know the real theophilosophicological question that Quantum needs to be applied to? Whether any given event was God’s Judgment or Satan’s Trickery. Did you find a $20 bill because God is rewarding you for your good deeds, or is Satan trying to tempt you into technically stealing? Did your house burn down because God is righteously punishing you and hoping to make your faith stronger, or because Satan is fucking with you because you are too good of a Christian and he is terrified of your bringing so many to Christ? Well, let us ask the good quantum scientists. Well, apparently, all events are the superposition of God and Satan’s work simultaneously, and then when you observe it, it will either be only the work of God or only the work of Satan, seemingly generated at random.

    Finally, a solid answer on the subject.

  33. says

    Quantum Soul
    Take me home
    To the place
    I belong
    Quantam residue
    Keep the rest of you
    Take me home
    Quantam Soul

    (with apologies to John Denver and Micheal Crichton)

  34. anteprepro says

    (Scene: Graves of Schrodinger and Heisenberg. Penrose, Hameroff, and Chopra dancing and singing in background. Lead singer: Scott Bakula.)

    I’m too quantum for my shirt
    Too quantum for my shirt
    So quantum it huuuuuurts.

  35. Amphiox says

    It goes without saying that the micro environment in which microtubules exist in the brain, being warm, wet and chemically chaotic, is the exact opposite of the ideal micro environment for the creation and retention of coherent quantum states, which need to be cold, dry and stable.

    One should also note that there are no microtubules within the synaptic gap. Even if you could get a quantum state to be coherent inside one neuron’s microtubules network, for the purposes of consciousness that’s utterly useless if you cannot transmit the information to another neuron. And the synaptic cleft is several orders of magnitude bigger than the scale at which quantum effects predominate.

    The likelihood that quantum effects have anything at all to do with consciousness, or anything related to the brain, is pretty small. Planck length scale small.

  36. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    @ anteprepo #66:

    Whether any given event was God’s Judgment or Satan’s Trickery.

    Well according to the book of Job, Satan can’t fuck with you without God’s explicit permission. So the answer is always ‘Yes’ to that question.

  37. robro says

    Let’s take a quantum leap off the bridge of virtual particles to see if the state of superposition kills the cat. As quanta and gravity are unreconciled, there’s nothing to fear. Besides, HCE died for all your bosons. Read the book.

  38. Sunday Afternoon says

    @Eamon Knight:

    I don’t see anything relativistic on the wiki page about ferromagnetism (the effect we can feel with a chunk of iron): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferromagnetism

    It describes unpaired electrons in the outer shells of atoms being the source of macroscopic fields, all from quantum theory.

    Perhaps you are thinking of Maxwell’s equations of electromagnetism that are invariant under the Lorentz transformation?

  39. says

    I read Penrose’s book on consciousness twenty years ago, because I was interested in the subject and because he is one of the most brilliant physicists/mathematicians alive so I thought he could potentially move the subject forward. Unfortunately, the microtubule stuff comes directly out of his arse. There is absolutely nothing supporting it. The argument is that he needs magic/quantum injected into the brain so he looks for anything that could give macroscopic quantum effects, hence microtubules are the answer. No need for evidence here. And why does he need magic in there? Because he wants us to be more than meat computers of course, but also because, as he explains in the first part of his book, he believes that the human brain is able to understand mathematics that a computer couldn’t understand, because of Gödel and stuff. It *is* actually an interesting argument from a mathematical standpoint, but he makes a couple of unwarranted assumptions. First, he compares the theoretical computing capabilities of a digital device with those of an analog ball of nerves. His mathematical argumentation does not take the analog aspect into account at all. He also assumes we reason with the accuracy and safety of a computer, whereas we are wrong all the time, including on complex mathematical problems. We may be capable of mathematical insights that computers will never be able of, he may well be right on that, but only in a fuzzy, meaty way. So there is no need for magic/quantum here, just for some approximation. Second, he assumes that quantum phenomenons and decoherence are essentially non-deterministic and random. The jury is still out on this one. We’re still in the process of figuring out what exactly happens in the transition between the quantum world and the classical world, but we’re pretty sure it’s a smooth transition as we can now catch it in the middle of happening. The whole microtubule thing is a house of cards really. Not much deeper than Chopra, but it persists because of Penrose’s aura as a scientist.

  40. markr1957 (Patent Pending) says

    So two woo-meisters can prove the existence of souls by looking into the quantum states of quantum microtubules which cannot be seen or even proven to exist – therefore
    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1!1!1eleventy-woo!!!11!

    or something

  41. says

    This post and it’s comments have made today well worth the unrelenting bullshit. My thanks to all. On a different note, I too thought Penrose was a stand up guy. When the hell did he get infected with The Chopra?

    Life is like a box of quantum………………….

  42. says

    The nice thing about quantum physics is that it has eliminated the notion that the entire future state of the universe is derivable from its current state. It has told us that the universe is not deterministic. (This significantly weakens the argument of people who do not believe in free will, who before quantum physics could say that the obvious determinism of Newtonian physics precluded it. Not that they’ve given up.)

    Just because you don’t understand the rules, and most other people don’t either, doesn’t mean its no playing by rules. I seem to remember a video not long back that, while it got some minor complaints, never the less presented a clear explanation why transfer of data at faster than light speeds using quantum effects wasn’t possible. Turns out there is this thing called “instability” in the universe, and our quantum mechanical machines don’t so much as introduce noise, as filter it out. Add a filter to both ends, and do to the nature of the filter, you end up not with your “data” but the original noise. The result is that, any attempt to transmit information via quantum effects is.. problematic, since its a bit like trying to hear a radio message, when the both the radio, and the transmitter refuse to stay tuned to the correct frequency.

    I would say that, on a macro level, the results is a net “zero” deviation. All the noise sort of cancels itself out, and the brain is a macro level object, that doesn’t deal with discrete particles, and what they are doing. So.. The odds of having a “free will” level event… is probably 10 orders of magnitude less likely than winning the lotto. But, that is just a guess.

    In any case, it takes a poor understanding of what is, and isn’t, possible with quantum mechanics, to think it salvages free will, or makes the universe non-deterministic.

  43. says

    Quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum mushroom mushroom, quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum mushroom mushroom, quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum mushroom mushroom,quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum A SNAKE A SNAKE !!! SNAKE, A SNAKE, oh it’s a SNAKE !

  44. BCat70 says

    never quantum your cards
    while sitting at the table,
    there be time enough for quantum
    when the dealin’s done.

  45. Sastra says

    Cuttlefish #72 wrote:

    Microtubules : Penrose :: Pineal Gland : Descartes

    Quantum : Hameroff :: Magic : Rowling

    You win one internet. Unfortunately, it’s the Quantum version, so it’s really hard to read or work on. Sorry.

    There are apologists out there who work the “Godel’s Theorem Proves God” argument. Basically, it goes from “there are true things which can’t be proved” to “therefore, God!” Apart from the ineptness of the populist aphorism, the intermediate steps between premise and conclusion — with, as hymanrosen points out, the assertion that “the mind can no longer be purely physical” — well, those steps are shaky.

  46. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    anthonioroszaeirio

    jebus fucking christ.

    Thanks. Now I have that stuck in my head.

  47. Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says

    Did Sam Beckett ever get home or did his consciousness disperse into the quantum universe at large…?
    The world may never know.

  48. F says

    When the hell did he get infected with The Chopra?

    Penrose is his own infection and vector. If one infected the other, it was probably the other way around.

    Oh, and at least since the eighties, IIRC.

  49. Janine: Hallucinating Liar says

    I heard that he was able to become the captain of a spaceship and ended up being a man of a certain age along with someone that every body loved.

    Quantum.

  50. Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says

    Gödel’s theorems are ordinary mathematics, as are the various proofs that some statements (e.g., the continuum hypothesis or the axiom of choice) are undecidable within standard set theory. The notion of “unprovable but true” is nonsense; when a statement is discovered to be undecidable within a system, either it or its negation may be adjoined to that system as an axiom, and the resulting system will be as consistent as it was before. – hymanrosen

    No, you’re quite wrong here. It is true of the continuum hypothesis that either it or its negation can be added to standard set theory, and the same is true of the axiom of choice: they have been proved independent of standard set theory. The same is definitely not true of Gödel’s theorems, because they refer specifically to unprovability within a given system, and since they state that certain results are unprovable within that given system, and those results are indeed unprovable within that system, they are true. If you add the negation of such a theorem to the given system, the result will be inconsistent, because that negation still refers to the original system. This is easiest to see with Gödel’s second incompleteness theorem, which states (with proof) that you cannot prove the consistency of arithmetic within arithmetic. If you add the negation of this to arithmetic, it states that you can prove the consistency of arithmetic within arithmetic. But you can’t; and since you can prove from the axioms you started with that you can’t, the resulting system is inconsistent. You can add the statement that you can’t prove the consistency of arithmetic within arithmetic, to arithmetic, and still have a consistent system, but this is redundant, as that can be proved without the extra axiom.

    None of this, of course, means that Penrose’s claim is correct.

    It is a relatively easy exercise to write a computer program that spits out every possible provable mathematical theorem in the language of axiomatic set theory.

    True – all that is needed is to start from the axioms and apply the rules of inference first for all one-step derivations, then all two-step derivations, and so on; but there is no algorithm that will determine, for an arbitrary statement in the language of axiomatic set theory, whether it is true or false, because however long you go on adding inferential steps, there is no guarantee you will reach a proof either of the statement or its negation – and in some cases, you never will.

  51. Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says

    You can add the statement that you can’t prove the consistency of arithmetic within arithmetic, to arithmetic, and still have a consistent system

    I should have added: “provided arithmetic is indeed consistent”! You can also (provided arithmetic is indeed consistent) add the statement that arithmetic is consistent, to arithmetic, and still have a consistent system – but you won’t be able to prove that consistency within the expanded system.

  52. Zeppelin says

    I’m confused by the notion that quantum effects in the brain would somehow enable “free will”.

    As far as I can tell, it would just mean that what your meat computer does is not predictable from its current state. But I don’t see how being partly random would make neurological responses more meaningful in relation to some vaguely defined notion of “consciousness” or “free will”.

    Maybe my confusion stems from the fact that no-one has so far been able to give me a coherent definition of either “consciousness” or “free will” :I

  53. Woo_Monster, Sniffer of Starfarts says

    Quantum, Quantum, bo-buantum,
    Banana-fana fo-fuantum
    Mee-Mi-mo-muantum
    Quantum!

  54. F says

    Quantum ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. Ut wisi enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerci tation ullamcorper suscipit lobortis nisl ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis autem vel eum iriure dolor in hendrerit in vulputate velit esse molestie consequat, vel illum dolore eu feugiat nulla facilisis at vero eros et accumsan et iusto odio dignissim qui blandit praesent luptatum zzril delenit augue duis dolore te feugait nulla facilisi. Nam liber tempor cum soluta nobis eleifend option congue nihil imperdiet doming id quod mazim placerat facer possim assum. Typi non habent claritatem insitam; est usus legentis in iis qui facit eorum claritatem. Investigationes demonstraverunt lectores legere me lius quod ii legunt saepius. Claritas est etiam processus dynamicus, qui sequitur mutationem consuetudium lectorum. Mirum est notare quam littera gothica, quam nunc putamus parum claram, anteposuerit litterarum formas humanitatis per seacula quarta decima et quinta decima. Eodem modo typi, qui nunc nobis videntur parum clari, fiant sollemnes in quantum.

  55. Tethys says

    The devil went down to Quantum, he was looking for a soul to steal.
    He was in a bind ‘cos he was Quantum and he was willin’ to make a deal.
    When he came across this young man sawin’ on a fiddle and playin’ it Quantum.
    And the devil jumped upon a quantum stump and said: “Boy let me tell you what:
    “I guess you didn’t know it, but I’m a quantum player too.
    “And if you’d care to take a dare, I’ll make a bet with you.
    “Now you play a pretty good quantum, boy, but give the devil his due:
    “I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, ‘cos I think I’m better than you.”
    The boy said: “My name’s Johnny and it might be a sin,
    “But I’ll take your quantum, your gonna regret, ‘cos I’m the best that’s ever been.”

    Johnny you rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard.
    ‘Cos Quantum broke loose in Georgia and the devil deals the cards.
    And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold.
    But if you lose, the quantum gets your soul.

  56. erikthebassist says

    Quixotic quacks quip quarelled queries questioning qualities quintissentially quantum.

  57. 01jack says

    If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that quantum kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.

  58. opposablethumbs says

    ¡Quantum me duele que no existes, mi alma! ;-)
    .
    For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
    The oppressor’s wrong, the Penrose’ quantumly,
    The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
    The insolence of office and the spurns
    That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
    When he himself might his quietus make
    With a bare bodkin?

  59. opposablethumbs says

    Quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum BATMAN!

    Audley!!!!! I love you and you owe me a sniny new monitor plz.

  60. chip says

    I’m surprised nobody’s commented on the similarity between this and Smurf vocabulary where random words are replaced with “smurf.” Only quantumy-er.

  61. CSB says

    The whole “setting” paragraph feels like one of those weird quantum surrealist Twitter accounts where every word is in allcaps and nothing makes any sense. I like it.

  62. Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says

    Quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum Badger! quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum Badger! quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum Snake!

  63. briandavis says

    If they could just find a way to power it with cold fusion then this quantum consciousness might work.

  64. Rodney Nelson says

    Quantum is a second declension Latin word. It’s a neuter noun and declines as follows:

    Singular
    Nominative – quantum
    Vocative – quantum
    Accusative – quantum
    Genitive – quanti
    Dative – quanto
    Ablative – quanto

    Plural
    Nominative – quanta
    Vocative – quanta
    Accusative – quanta
    Genitive – quantorum
    Dative – quantis
    Ablative – quantis

  65. Mark Sherry says

    KG wrote:

    No, you’re quite wrong here. It is true of the continuum hypothesis that either it or its negation can be added to standard set theory, and the same is true of the axiom of choice: they have been proved independent of standard set theory. The same is definitely not true of Gödel’s theorems, because they refer specifically to unprovability within a given system, and since they state that certain results are unprovable within that given system, and those results are indeed unprovable within that system, they are true.

    I don’t think hymanrosen was claiming that Gödel’s theorems could be negated and added as axioms, but the unprovable statements. As far as I can tell, they’re right.

    By Gödel’s 1st Incompleteness theorem, a statement is true for all models of an axiomatic system, if and only if it can be proved using First Order Logic. Similarly, it’s false for all models iff it can be proven to be false using FOL. From his 2nd Incompleteness theorem, we can deduce that unprovable-but-true statements are only true in some but not all models. (Similarly, unprovable-but-false statements.) By adopting the unprovable statement as an axiom, we prune away models where that axiom doesn’t hold, but since there is at least one (in reality, infinitely) many models where it does hold, the resulting axiomatic system is still consistent.

    Also, I believe that ZFC + “ZFC is consistent” is as consistent as ZFC on its own, although the new system can’t comment on the consistency of ZFC + “ZFC is consistent”. On the other hand, ZFC + “ZFC plus this axiom is consistent” is inconsistent.

    Quantum.

  66. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    @Rodney Nelson #130:

    Nominative – quanta

    Genitive – quantorum

    So a herd of quanta is called a quantorum. Good to know!

    Now pardon me. I’ve just come up with an excellent new marketing strategy.

  67. F says

    CSB

    Or reading someone’s reprinted list of Tweets, or a Storify.

    Dimmi quantum tu verrai
    Dimmi quantum quantum quantum
    L’anno il giorno l’ora in cui
    Forse tu mi bacerai
    Ogni stante tenderò
    Fino a quantum, quantum, quantum
    D’improviso ti vedrò
    Sorridente accanto a me

    Se vuoi dirmi di si
    Devi dirlo per che
    Non ha sensa per me
    La mia vita sensa te
    Dimmi quantum tu verrai
    Dimmi quantum quantum quantum
    E baciando mi dirai
    Non ci la sceremo mai

  68. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    Quäntis Brand Quantum Ablative Armor!

    ♪ Nothing protects you from evil spirits like Quäntis!

    Worried that the eternally persisting spirits of malevolent beings might someday attack you or your family? Not sure how to defend against threats whose presence cannot be seen, felt, or detected in any meaningful way?

    Then Quäntis may be right for you!

    Tell us how it works, Bob!

    Well, Shelley, it’s simple. Quäntis is made of quantumly activated microtubules in a state of indeterminacy. They attract incoming spirit particles via microgravity and through a process called orchestrated objective reduction, they intercept and interact with the incoming malevolent ghost, or ‘quantumgeist‘. Of course, as you know, when interaction occurs at the quantum level, both waveforms are collapsed, and the evil spirit can be safely reflected away from your precious, eternal soul in the form of Dark Matter.

    So it’s like, ablative armor for your consciousness!

    That’s right, Shelley! Protect yourself and your fragile, easily harmed loved ones from evil spirits with Quäntis!

    Quäntis! It’s Undefinable!

  69. Richard Smith says

    Q is for the queerest things they say;
    U is for the universe not running that way;
    A is for the anguish in our minds we feel;
    N is for the nonsense in their spiel;
    T is for the theory, much misused;
    U is for the ugly way that it’s abused;
    M is for the morons who will never see
    just how much they fail at quantum theory.

  70. A. R says

    But who fertilizes the flaming quantum tomatoes if loop quantum gravity isn’t true? Quantum.

  71. Richard Smith says

    What makes a king out of a slave? Quantum! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Quantum! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Quantum! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Quantum! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Quantum!

  72. timothya1956 says

    Quantumamera
    Guajira Quantumamera
    Quantumamera
    Guajira Quantumameraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    Yo no soy marinero, soy capitan!

  73. Janine: Hallucinating Liar says

    Man, there’s a lot of unexplained phenomenon
    out there in the world.
    Lot of things people say
    What the heck’s going on?

    Let me tell ya!

    Who built the pyramids?
    QUANTUM!
    Who built Stonehenge?
    QUANTUM!

  74. Richard Smith says

    A new movie is in the works, about ancient alien technology disrupting the information in the microtubules of people’s brains, leaving them unable to distinguish their rear end from a hole in the ground.

    Quantum Ass and the Pit.

  75. A. R says

    Anyone here remember Kohldamunga? (a href=”https://www.julianbakery.com/quantum-tomato-concentrate-with-lycopene/”>Yep, this shit exists.

  76. A. R says

    making an addendum of quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum to the above.

  77. silomowbray says

    You put your left-spin in
    You take your left-spin out
    You put your left-spin in
    And you shake it all about

    You do the quantum pokey
    And entangle all around
    That’s what it’s all about!

  78. Tethys says

    Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something
    I think you’ll understand
    When I say that something
    I quantoo hold your hand

  79. Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says

    I don’t think hymanrosen was claiming that Gödel’s theorems could be negated and added as axioms, but the unprovable statements. As far as I can tell, they’re right.

    By Gödel’s 1st Incompleteness theorem, a statement is true for all models of an axiomatic system, if and only if it can be proved using First Order Logic. Similarly, it’s false for all models iff it can be proven to be false using FOL. From his 2nd Incompleteness theorem, we can deduce that unprovable-but-true statements are only true in some but not all models. (Similarly, unprovable-but-false statements.) – Mark Sherry

    I don’t recognise your formulation of Gödel’s 1st Incompleteness theorem, although I’m not saying it isn’t equivalent (I don’t know). According to wikipedia, the usual natural language forumation is:

    Any effectively generated theory capable of expressing elementary arithmetic cannot be both consistent and complete. In particular, for any consistent, effectively generated formal theory that proves certain basic arithmetic truths, there is an arithmetical statement that is true, but not provable in the theory.

    Now “true”, here, means “true in all models of the theory”: a theory is complete iff all such statements are provable in the theory, and incomplete otherwise; and the statement used to prove the first incompleteness theorem, for any sufficiently rich theory T (the theory’s Gödel sentence), is of the form “G is unprovable within T”, where G is that very statement itself, asserting that G is unprovable within T. We can without causing inconsistency add G to T to give T’, which will have its own Gödel sentence, G’. However, its negation, ~G would say “G is provable within T”. But G asserts precisely the negation of this, meaning that ~G, as an axiom of T+~G, is provable within T+~G – but so is G, because the new axiom says so.

  80. Air says

    Historical anecdote-the first time I heard of this particular notion was in a BS session with Bart Hibbs, then director of JPL – in 19 freakin’ 64.

    50+ years later-same ol same ol.

    -oh; quantum quantum quantum

  81. Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says

    Sorry again: quantum. (No doubt the failure to include this @160 was what buggered the link.)

  82. Janine: Hallucinating Liar says

    The Hitchhiker’s Guide To Quantum Trilogy

    The Hitchhiker’s Guide To Quantum

    The Quantum At The End Of The Universe

    Life, The Universe And Quantum

    So Long, And Thanks For All The Quantum Tomatoes

    Mostly Quantum

  83. F says

    [First Man:] I think, I think I am, therefore I am, I think.

    [Penrose:] Of course you are my bright little quantum,
    You’ve miles
    And miles
    Of tubules
    Quantum microtubules of your forefather’s fruit
    And now to suit our
    Theory of quantum orchestrated objective reduction,
    You’re consciousness is a quantum dot of ensoulment.

    [First Man:] I’m not that, I know I’m not, at least, I think you must be fucking nuts. WTF?

  84. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    Raiders of the Lost Quantum

    (but I guess riders fits just as well)

  85. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    The first rule of quantum is you do not talk about quantum.

  86. erikthebassist says

    You can’t swing a dead cat anymore without hitting a quantum woo-peddler, but also because the cat is totes alive and will scratch your fucking eyes out if you try.

  87. Amphiox says

    Gödel proved, via ordinary mathematics, that any sufficiently complex axiomatic system will contain unprovable theorems. If some theorem is shown to be unprovable its negation is also unprovable and therefore either may be adjoined to the system and the result will be as consistent as the original system. There is no such thing as “true” separate from “provable”. What would that even mean?

    Godel proved that SOME things are unprovable. Godel didn’t prove that EVERYTHING was unprovable. Among the few things that are unprovable are still many, many, many things that ARE provable.

    If EVERYTHING was unprovable, then Godel’s theorems themselves would be unprovable, and therefore it would be unprovable that things are unprovable.

    So utter, total, and absolutely certain knowledge of everything is not possible. From a practical perspective, so what? Big deal. That’s the state all of us limited minds find ourselves in anyways, regardless of whether or not Godel is true.

    For real life, a sufficiently close approximation of reality is plenty good enough.

  88. Janine: Hallucinating Liar says

    Dr Strangequantum: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Quantum

  89. F says

    I do my part behind the lines swabbing door handles of cop cars with microtubules mixed with quantum.

  90. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    …let me just:
    Dr Strangequantum: Or how I learned To Stop Worrying And Quantum The Bomb

  91. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    I love how Beatrice and Janine thought up Dr. Strangequantum pretty much simultaneously.

  92. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    I was just nitpicking. strangelove->strangequantum, so the other love had to become quantum too.

  93. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    Quantum doesn’t change its spots

  94. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    A census taker once tried to microtubule me. I ate his quantum with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

  95. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    The only thing that really worried me was the quantum. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an quantum binge. And I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

  96. Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says

    Richard Smith @141:

    You have won Internetz for life.
    That was totes amazing!

  97. erikthebassist says

    Quantum in Seattle

    You’ve got Quantum

    When Harry Met Quantum

    Joe vs the Quantum

    City of Quantum

    When a man Loves a Quantum

    French Quantum

  98. anathema says

    It is a truth quantumly acknowledged that a microtubule in possession of a soul must be in want of quantum information.

  99. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    What is love?
    Baby don’t quantum
    Don’t quantum
    No more

    I don’t know, what can I do
    What else can I say, it’s quantum woo
    I know we’re one, superposition
    I can’t go on

    What is love?
    Baby don’t quantum
    Don’t quantum
    No more

    I don’t know, why you’re not there
    I give you my cat, but you don’t care
    Is it alive or is it dead
    Give me a sign

    What is love?
    Baby don’t quantum
    Don’t quantum
    No more

    Whoa whoa….

  100. says

    Yah the thing with Godel’s theorems is that they are mathematical theorems, not scientific theories. People confuse these two all the time. As a math person first and science geek 2nd, I spent my college career proving abstract theorems that will probably never find any application IRL. Only a tiny fraction of maths are applied maths — the rest of pure math is abstract and just doesn’t apply to scientific puzzles.

    The distinction is simple really: theorems can be proved… theories can be demonstrated. Theorems are not demonstrated and theories are not proved.

    We pure math dorks would appreciate it if folks didn’t drag math into such murky and all-too-concrete waters as, y’know, reality. My point? It doesn’t matter what Godel said about numbers, that has squat to do with quantum physics.

    (For quantum non-woo, try Lie’s Theorems.)

  101. Tethys says

    The quantum also rises.

    If I said you had a beautiful quantum, would you hold it against me?

  102. Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says

    Holy smurfin’ shit Smurfette! This smurfing quantum crap is getting smurfily out of hand.

  103. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    Quit your quanting!

    (just kidding)

  104. Lofty says

    The man has an eye-queue* of a hunnerd-sixty-two, how can you doubt his quantum woo?
    (*=Incredible Quantumninity)

  105. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    Quantum? We ain’t got no quantum! We don’t need no quantum! I don’t have to show you any stinking quantum!

  106. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    Quantum is in the eye of the beholder

  107. kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says

    Pseudoscience:

    We keep on trying ’till we run out of quantum.

    Also,

    The Quantum is a lie.

  108. Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says

    On the first day of Quantum, my true love gave to me, a pic of Chopra on my quantum tree.
    On the second day of Quantum my true love gave to me, two Deepak pens and a pic of Chopra on my quantum tree.
    (someone else can take over)

  109. Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says

    Kwanzaa and Quantum sure do sound alike. Is there a conspiracy afoot?

  110. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    One morning I shot an elephant in my quantum. How he got in my quantum, I don’t know.

  111. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to quantum woo me, aren’t you?

  112. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    A long time ago in a quantum far, far away…

  113. erikthebassist says

    And may I see this storage facility Dr Venkman?

    No.

    And why not, Dr Venkman?

    Because you didn’t say the magic word.

    And what is… the magic word Dr Venkman?

    Quantum!

  114. Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says

    Stevarious #315:
    Not to mention a depletion in the quantum sperm count from all that…quantum ejection.

  115. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    Tony #318:

    Just remember. Life begins at microtubulation! Waveform collapse is murder!

  116. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    “Are you… Are you quantum? There’s no quantum in baseball!”

  117. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    “Look, daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, a quantum gets his microtubule.”

  118. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    I do believe in quantums, I do, I do!

  119. Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says

    Luke, I am your father. Search the universal Quantum Consciousness. You know this to be true.

  120. Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says

    I think one of my cats just took a Quantum poop in the litter box.

  121. mothra says

    Five microtubules for quantum souls under the sky.
    Seven for the quantum frauds in the boxes of woo.
    Nine for immortal man doomed to die.
    One for Depok Chopra, in his padded room, where the quanta lie.

    One microtubule to rule them all,
    One microtubule to find them.
    One mircotubule to bing them all,
    and in the darkness bind them,
    In the Padded Room where the quanta lie.

  122. Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says

    There’s something strange
    in your neighborhood.
    WHo can you call:
    Quantum busters!
    An invisible man
    sleeping in your bed.
    Who can you call:
    Quantum Busters.

    I ain’t fraid of no quantum ghost.

  123. erikthebassist says

    Anyway, like I was sayin’, quantum is the fruit of the woo. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There’s uh, quantum-kabobs, quantum creole, quantum gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple quantum, lemon quantum, coconut quantum, pepper quantum, quantum soup, quantum stew, quantum salad, quantum and potatoes, quantum burger, quantum sandwich. That- that’s about it.

  124. Tony–Queer Duck Overlord of The Bronze– says

    Duuuuuude!
    I just totally smoked a bowl, and the world looks groovy. I’m feelin’ really chill like and I think I’m melding with the underlying quantum field of the universe. It’s totally cool duuuude!

  125. Stevarious, Public Health Problem says

    “Colonel Penrose, did you order the quantum woo?”

    “You don’t have to answer that question!”

    “I’ll answer the question… You want answers?”

    “I want the quantum!”

    “You can’t handle the quantum! Son, we live in a world that has woo. And that woo has to be guarded by particles with microgravity. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Hameroff? I have a greater consciousness than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Schrodinger the cat and you curse the radiation. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Schrodinger’s death, while tragic, probably saved particles. And my consciousness, while distributed and incomprehensible to you, saves particles… You don’t want the quantum. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that woo. You need me on that woo. We use words like orchestrated, objective, reduction…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use ’em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very microtubules I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up some microgravity and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

    “Did you order the quantum woo?”

    “I did the job you sent me to do.”

    “Did you order the quantum woo?”

    “You’re goddamn right I did!!”

  126. Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says

    Where have all the quanta gone,
    Long time passing?
    Where have all the quanta gone,
    Long time ago?
    Where have all the quanta gone?
    Gone to tubules, everyone.
    When woo they ever learn?
    When woo they ever learn?

  127. Rodney Nelson says

    Stevarious, Public Health Problem #135

    So a herd of quanta is called a quantorum. Good to know!

    No. Quantorum is the plural genative or possessive. A cat belonging to a herd of quanta would be Felis quantorum.

  128. Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says

    What light through yonder quantum breaks?
    ‘Tis the spin, and microtubules are the light.

  129. Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says

    “Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the quanta in the sky”

    – – Charlemagne

  130. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    It’s not the size of your quantum, it’s how you use it

  131. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Tries to step away from the quantum, but gets tunneled back in…

  132. Janine: Hallucinating Liar says

    Absolutely Quantum Marie

    To live outside the law
    You must be quantum, darling

  133. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    You can’t leave the quantum, quantum owns you!

  134. Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says

    [Elvis]You ain’t nothin’ but a quantum,
    You ain’t never caught a rabbit and you ain’t no friend of mine.[/Elvis]

  135. Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says

    Once I had a quantum,
    Made it run.
    Made it race against time.
    Once I had a quantum,
    Now it’s done.
    Brother can you spare a dime.

  136. Louis says

    Dirty Little Quantum Superpositions Volume 5 (Close Up Godel Shots)?

    Louis

    P.S. Sorry, I had to. No. Really. It’s a compulsion.

  137. F says

    Quantum, these quanta want to change your quantum. They don’t want quantum or any of these quanta to live here because it’s bad for their quantum. They use quantum to try and force quanta to believe they’re quantum. If you let them stay here, they will build quanta and quanta. They will take all your quanta and replace them with quantum. These quantum have no good quantum to live on quantum, so they must come here to quantum. Please, let these quanta stay where they can grow and prosper without any quanta, quanta, or quanta.

  138. erikthebassist says

    Quantum…. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  139. Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says

    Your only chance of getting this airplane down safely is to find someone who knows how to fly and didn’t have the quantum for dinner!

  140. Louis says

    Oggie,

    Well I sort of do, let’s just say it exists in a superposition with a compulsion to make knob jokes and any interaction with the rest of the universe causes it to decohere.

    Decohere everywhere.

    Dirty, dirty, messy decoherence.

    All over everyone’s eigenvalues.

    Oh yeah. Look at that time independent equation. Oh yeah. I’m going to….

    MEXICAN HAT ANALOGY!!!!!

    {Straightens quantum}

    Oh I am very sorry. Allow me to wipe it off.

    Louis

  141. Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says

    Damn quantum superposition. causing duplicate posts by different people.

  142. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    Don’t point that quantum at me!

  143. Ogvorbis: broken and cynical says

    Rick Quantorum?

    No. That would be in bad taste.

    Er, no. Not taste. Just bad.

  144. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    Someone must have been telling lies about quantum, he knew he had done nothing wrong but, one morning, he was arrested.

  145. erikthebassist says

    This thread will undoubtedly be the new #1 hit for “quantum” on google by tomorrow.

  146. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    Lies, quantum lies, and statistics

  147. F says

    Letting the days go by, let the quantum hold me down
    Letting the days go by, quanta flowing underground