Watch the cuttlefish stalking shrimp, cautiously advancing by walking on a couple of arms — it almost looks like a tetrapod for a few moments. And then, finally, the lightning-fast strike. Oh, man, I wish I had a retractable spear built into my face. There are so many occasions when that would come in handy.
(Also on Sb)
“I wish I had a retractable spear built into my face”
Might not improve your reputation as a kisser
Faster than the eye can follow
You know, it’s amazing to see the incredibly wide variety of survival schemes the various species evolved over the eons. Feeding in particular can be anything from the mundane to the bizarre.
“Oh, man, I wish I had a retractable spear built into my face. There are so many occasions when that would come in handy.”
From what i can tell, you do, it’s called your tongue. And yours is so sharp it does not even have to touch the target to wound or kill.
It looks like an underwater kitten the way it stalks about… The one thing saving the human race is that cats don’t have retractible spears.
It looks like a cat stalking a bird! Notice even the twitching “tail” on the back end.
No, I don’t. Doesn’t matter what I say, they’re still standing afterwards. I want something like this:
Creationist: If evolution is true, why are there still mon…
PZ: <thwibbt>
Onlookers: AAAAAAAIAH! You ripped out his brain!
Uh oh, the intersucktion fainting couch crowd will be here soon to point fingers and tell us how violent we are.
Bad form PZ, You heartless bastard.
Dang. What an awesome critter.
Awesome. It looks like a R.O.U.S.
Or perhaps…
AAAAAAAIAH! You inserted a brain!
Ssssssshhhhh!!!!!
be vewy, vewy quiet.
I’m hunting shwimp.
[shrimp: ehhhh, what’s up, Doc?]
>Oh, man, I wish I had a retractable spear built into my face.
So that’s why you’re a God-hating atheist isn’t it? You’re just jealous of Jesus, because he has a sword coming out of his mouth with which he can slay unbelievers(Revelation 19:21), and you don’t!
I am sure you’d get a lot more respect from your students – at least after using it the first time.
“… and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.”
Not only is he crazy late, he’s dawdling at the sushi bar.
OMG submarine cat. As above, I also saw it ‘flicks its tail’ a little bit. That is the weirdest thing ever. It really does look like a cat.
Wow! Totally like a cat, as others have observed. I wonder if, like cats, cuttlefish sometimes settle back down in a “eh, this is taking too long; I just want a nap, now” kind of way.
It’s not like the creationist actually used it, you know.
Glen Davidson
I, too, have often wished for a retractable spear, though not necessarily in my face.
–
1) He wasn’t using it for anything anyway; no harm, no foul.
2) One less dolt to answer, one less zombie to fry.
–
Spear in face could be quite useful for food preparation as well…
It’s a pre-adaption for the inevitable cephalopod conquest of the land!
Once they solve the salt balance thing, we’re all doomed.
Swampus and Squibbons, here we come….
Doesn’t sound very nourishing.
No, I don’t. Doesn’t matter what I say, they’re still standing afterwards. I want something like this:
Creationist: If evolution is true, why are there still mon…
PZ:
Onlookers: AAAAAAAIAH! You ripped out his brain!
Face it, Myers, YOU are that annoying nerd whining “But WHY can’t I play a mind flayer?!?” when rolling up characters for D&D…
But if he DMs his own group, he can play as many mind flayers as he likes!
:)
–
“You see before you a cuttlefish, coyly displaying a bright mating signal. Roll to see if you resist its sexy allure.”
“Um, Paul, me and the guys have been talking, and we’re really uncomfortable with the direction your campaign has been going in…”
Unexpected, but seriously cool. I found myself wanting to PET the cuttle while cooing, “Who’s a cute little fishie? You, are! Yes, you are!” Fucking bastard would probably try to spear my face.
#7, PZ
But then lawyers from Wizards of the Coast would be after you for a trademark violation.
(1,000 nerd points for recognizing that in-joke. :) )
#5,
Who needs spears when you’ve got daggers? :)
ah, this makes me wonder if you have ever read:
Darths and Droids
I’m not sure if I’m hoping cephalopods evolve longer lifespans or not. I’m convinced the only reason they don’t currently have a complex underwater civilization is that it’s pretty hard to do that when you only live a couple years and die after mating. If they have a shift in their life cycle to multiple breeding cycles instead of one, we’re doomed.
I want “I wish I had a retractable spear built into my face” on a T-shirt.
#7, PZ: What brain?
Aaah. At last some evidence that Teh Ebil Oberlawd is actually in awe of teh kittehz. What you see here is (as everyone has noticed) a creature that behaves EXACTLY like an underwater kitteh.
Follow the irrefutable logic:
* TEO loves creature A. But,
* creature A behaves just like creature B,
* therefore TEO loves creature B!
* etc
QED…
(Simply substitute A for “cuttlefish”, B for “kitteh”, C for “sea”, D for “air”, E for “retractable spear built into face” … I leave it as exercise to work out the various permutations,… but the logic is infallible.)