Rick Perry was asked what kind of superhero he would be, and unimaginative dufus that he is, he answered “Superman”, without thinking about the implications.
He should have answered “Batman,” born with a silver spoon in his mouth, solving all of his problems by buying the best and most expensive toys and gadgets, and churning through child labor to get the job done. That’s an American hero.
If I’d been asked, I’d have said “Doc Ock,” and I wouldn’t bother to explain myself…I’d just laugh maniacally.
(via Lindsay Beyerstein.)
OTOH, Batman doesn’t like guns and he doesn’t kill and he certainly doesn’t talk about his record-breaking executions as a good thing. I’d put him more of a Lex Luthor type, but Luthor earned his wealth through business and not government.
No, Perry is more like Guy Gardner. A big jerk whose power has gone to his head.
Of course, being Superman he wouldn’t be eligible to run for President, not being a native-born citizen.
But maybe we’d better start stockpiling kryptonite just as a precaution.
Or The Punisher, but without the interesting backstory.
The idea of Superman winding up in our universe and getting deported kinda makes me chuckle. It would be interesting to see that idea fleshed out more.
Interesting that Perry wants to be an illegal alien :-)
(And what’s it with the advertisers here ? Is an advert for Scientology REALLY appropriate ?)
PZ’s in for it now – Batman’s the geek’s super hero, even more so than Spiderman, because he has no super powers: all of his success comes from real-world resources, mainly tech (other than some out-there technology depending on the version of Batman).
The whole point of the Dark Night is that Batman -isn’t- some ivory-tower superhero: he’s hugely flawed and he knows it. It’s what makes him likeable.
Superman is an apt choice for Perry: a moralistic boyscout who never has to think much about what he does, never has to be practical or compromising in his approach, throws his power and privilege around like it’s no big deal, doesn’t have any real idea what the average person goes through, and never in his life admits to making a mistake. And totally impossible in the real world.
I always liked Doc Ock.
Spidey could be such a weeny.
Mr Perry is more like an evil henchman or someone being controlled by The Puppet Master than a super hero. On smarts he could fill the shoes of about any of Marvel’s C-list or one-shot villains.
Wasn’t that question asked in a presidential campaign before? (and almost everyone answered the same because they were stumped?) You’d think that would be somewhere on their list of “need a snappy clever answer for this one” prep sheet.
One would think one of these guys would come up with a mildly creative answer. or just one that wasn’t dead obvious. Something like “I’d like to be Green Lantern”, or “I’d like to be the Martian Manhunter”. I’d consider voting for someone just based on that.
I suppose we can just be glad he didn’t say “Jesus” as Bush Jr. did when asked who his favorite PHILOSOPHER was. Although a “Jesus” answer would have had some pretty funny implications, too.
I see him more as Captain Hammer
He wants to be Superman, but he’s really a low-rent General Zod
Wasn’t that question asked in a presidential campaign before? (and almost everyone answered the same because they were stumped?) You’d think that would be somewhere on their list of “need a snappy clever answer for this one” prep sheet.
I bet that is the answer on Rick Perry’s prep sheet.
That’s exactly the image he wants to present, the guy in the red undies and cape fighting for truth, justice and the American way.
He didn’t choose any of the others, because they didn’t fit into the narrative he wants to sell.
If he gets elected, I think Magneto might be a more appropriate comparison. Perry’s rhetoric is barely masked racial supremacy. Given a little more power, I think he might actually implement outright eugenics.
(Think I’m exaggerating? Read up on some of the executions he was applauded for last night.)
Anyone ever see that “superman is a dick” website?
http://superdickery.com/index.php?Itemid=45&id=28&layout=blog&option=com_content&view=category&limitstart=2
(picture of superman frying the gift with his laser beams)
I recall a few panels where he spanked full grown women.
I’d say he’s most like Mr Midnight in “Return of Captain Invincible”.
[comic geek]
Nah, Richard Austin, I always figured that Batman’s superpower was money.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of the Bat, but Wayne’s fortune seems pretty comparable to the Koch brothers’, and that’s some serious super-wealth.
If you want a truly non-superpowered superhero with some interesting tech and training, you’d need to go for The Question.
Of course, he’s a Rand-obsessed asshole, so….
[/comic geek]
@Ramel
Where the hell is my freeze ray?
What? He didn’t say, “Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. No one could ever be a greater superhero or ever will be. Now let us pray.”
Perry is already a superhero: The incredible shrinking brain.
Batman’s the geek’s super hero, even more so than Spiderman, because he has no super powers
Damn straight!
Batman is a poor choice because he is a non-lethal (movies notwithstanding) and he was also more successful due to his business interests.
Batman is also a genius.
I would consider him to be more like the early Booster Gold…
Batman always seemed to be for people with depression. No cheery bullshit or unfettered optimism (like spiderman). Batman kinda sucks though because it seems to support the idea that rich people are just better than us (or rich because they are better), instead of a good billionaire being the rare exception. Lex luthor is a lot more realistic in that respect.
Heh. Wayne has trillions, half of Gotham City and a corporation that spans the planet. Nothing should be beyond his resources. If he failed to defeat some two-bit criminal with barely as many street thugs as Batman has secretaries I’d be worried.
All Spidey has on the other hand just is a bit more strength
than your average guy, some quick reflexes, a decent brain and just the right amount of luck.
I’d say the best fitting superhero identity for Rick Perry is Marvel’s Iron Patriot.
“What kind of superhero would you be?” passes for political discourse these days. That’s pathetic.
Anyway – I’d be the super kind.
My favorite superhero is Mr. Canoehead. but he’s Canadian.
I don’t know about that; as both a person and a hero, Batman is more than a bit of a dick. He’s obsessed, and he’s both cold and callous to those who don’t further his obsession in some way. As a father-figure to the various Robins, he’s total crap; Nightwing says as much (using CCA-approved language, of course) on many occasions. He’s not without empathy, but he’s not really doing the hero thing for anyone except his dead parents (which is really just for himself).
In short, he’s a very selfish and self-centered zealot.
The many things one can respect about the Bat are all based on competence: his intellect, his drive, his unswerving adherence to (very narrow and specific) principles.
But I never got the impression that one would consider him “better” than anyone else, just more effective and more fucked up than the average person. His wealth contributes to his effectiveness, but that’s about it.
I’m a Ghost Rider fan myself. I like the gray-and-black morality, especially the “superpower” of getting revenge on evildoers by exposing them to all of the suffering they’ve caused others at once. If you’re going to suspend disbelief enough to have superpowers, you might as well have the superpower of poetic justice/revenge. Being a heathen with a bad attitude, I also like the arguably-compassionate portrayal of the alleged Supreme Evil in this spin on the whole god-and-devil story. Technically, the Ghost Rider is working for Satan, but it’s in the capacity of hunting down evildoers, which is more than Yahweh ever did for us in the Bible…
I also second the idea of Batman as the geek superhero because he uses technology instead of superpowers, though.
Oh, and with all his talk of divine intervention and his apparent disregard for human life, I vote that Perry should be Galactus.
In all fairness (what little fairness a man like Perry deserves); he was born and raised middle class. Mitt Romney is the Silver Spooner.
I knew Kal-El.
I worked with Kal-El.
Kal-El was a friend of mine.
And Governor – you are no Superman!
Alternative snark:
Yeah – Bizarro Superman!
Face Front!
*mad applause for Jay Smooth*
He’s one of the best social commentators we have today. He’s a national treasure.
Ron Paul = Howard the Duck?
“Trapped in a world he never made!”
Love love LOVE Jay Smooth! Thanks for exposing my imaginary internet husband to a potentially bigger audience.
Umm…dude can bench press a city bus.
That’s a bit more than “a bit more strength than your average guy.”
He also invented and produced a quick-drying liquid adhesive with massive tensile strength – along with a wrist-mounted deployment device and tiny, pressurized storage containers for the same – while in high school.
In his spare time.
In his bedroom.
With nothing but his allowance as funding.
That’s a bit more than a “decent brain.”
No argument about the reflexes and luck, but you left out both the ability to stick to shit and the whole “spider-sense” short-span precog ability.
If I were asked that question in a campaign (leaving aside for the moment the question of why and how the bleep I’d ever get myself nominated for any political office), I’d go with Naussica. The one in the manga, not the anime. Or maybe Amanda from Amanda and Gunn. Just to be completely obscure and give the reporters something to try to figure out.
Given his positions and the news out of Texas lately, I’d say Perry would make a good Major Disaster.
“All Spidey has on the other hand just is a bit more strength
than your average guy, some quick reflexes, a decent brain and just the right amount of luck.”
Spiderman is strong enough to throw a car and fight the hulk, almost completely invulnerable and has precognition which gives his reflexes the ability to react to things before they even happen. He’s also a super-genius. He is FAR beyond humans in virtually every respect.
/nerd
….
What an incredibly stupid question. Who the fuck cares.
The 9-year-old kid who asked cares.
How about Ironman, whose life depends on technology?
Really?
Well yeah then, he’s definitely way stronger than John Q Public. Funny, never pictured him that strong.
That’s ‘things to avoid fight/help flee for life.’ I don’t count that as super so much as I count them really nifty when every third person you know wants to kill you and your suit doesn’t come in Kevlar.
Yeah but that’s all he’s ever made (that and those tracers. “You still get away with that?!”/Deadpool) and when it comes to fights he doesn’t exactly overwhelm his enemies with his super intelligence. Mouth? Maybe. Intelligence? No.
“Who the fuck cares.”
About Gov. Goodhair? Nobody ’round these parts.
About superheroes? A fair number of us, apparently….
Batman is a conservative’s wet dream. Fuck Batman.
It also depends on which version of these characters you choose to talk about. Most of the better known names have been around for decades and their characters have been repeatedly revised and reinterpreted to keep them relevant to the current readership. The original superman of the 1930’s was a very different character to the more modern version.
Wait, doesn’t the Hulk have an authoritarian thug who rampages through Texas for a father-in-law? Redstate Hulk, I think he’s called.
Sally, you’d better be willing to share him.
Batman usually comes off as at least as, and often more unpleasant/ bad at being a good person as the villains he’s against. But then, I read Batman for the villains, so that works fine for me.
Gaebolga: You know, for a nerd, you’re a bit behind on The Question. Just saying SHE’s a bit different than the character used to be. ;P
@38: This sort of unconventional question can give insight into how the candidate thinks. Or in Perry’s case, refuses to think. His answer was the most conventional possible.
Ah, Deadpool. The only one who can go toe-to-toe with Spidey in the mouth department.
I always figured that Peter used his intellect to make more effective use of his powers than some dumb shlub would. (And said shlub certainly wouldn’t be swinging though the city.)
Except that he uses both “stick-to-shit” and “spidey-sense” in combat, since they afford him additional avenues and angles of attack (in the first case) and allow him dodge blows or ranged attacks (in the second case).
I know which superhero Perry should imitate: The Spleen from the movie Mystery Men. For those of you who don’t know the movie, the Spleen’s superpower is super flatulence.
I think we should just conclude that PZ shouldn’t have mentioned Batman in a bad light. You’re talking to thousands of geeks, 90% of which are Batman fans (I’m one of them, yes).
Superhero?
I’d be Rincewind. I mean, think about it. He’s saved the Discworld dozens of times, battled demons in the nether regions and seen the entire Disc–from both sides–all with no more superpower than above average speed. Plus The Luggage is the coolest sidekick ever.
Fuck Batman.
Ah, batman as a pederast. Well, that is a neat spin on why Rick Perry could be him.
Sneaky sneaky
Very true; in fact, even the original Question became a lot less Objectivist when he moved over to the DC stable.
I definitely prefer the Renee Montoya iteration of The Question to the Vic Sage one (although I really didn’t like 52 at all, except for the bit with Lobo; that and the mad scientists on the island…that was funny as hell).
ooh PZ, the title for your book should be “The Atheist Supervillian”
Renee Montoya is amazing. Okay, maaaaybe I have a bit of a fancrush. Okay, a huge one.
I suppose my big Batman grudge is grounded in this one story where Scarecrow was living as a quiet professor until a student of his was raped. He then was caught doing his Scarecrow thing by Batman, who punts him off to Arkham and leaves the rapist to regular justice. Knowing what justice rapists tend to get (almost never convicted), I’m not exactly on Batman’s side here.
And of course the Superman artist, Joe Shuster, was Canadian
Eh, Batman is an enormously privileged asshole, it’s true. He’s a sociopath who happens to be inflicting his lack of concern for other people on other sociopaths.
Which isn’t to say that I don’t love reading about him. It’s one of the things that makes him interesting. Hell, if he was a nice. stable, well-adjusted guy, he wouldn’t be Batman.
Alfred’s sarcastic observations to this effect are possibly one of my favorite parts of the Batman universe.
Spidey truly is a man of the people.
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And no, I’m not sharing Jay. He’s mine, I tell you, MINE!
I still blame Frank Miller for this.
Fine I made Spiderman seem much wimpier then he really is because I absolutely love underdogs. Still, I don’t see him as ‘super’, just ‘well above average.’ :)
Perry is more like Die Fledermaus IMHO.
I thought Superman went traitor and renounced America, becoming something some conservative described as a “liberal globalist”.
Ricky isn’t very sharp, is he?
Oh fine, I still have Renee Montoya.
Stone age goat herding tribal man
Evolution? We don’t need no stinking evolution.
Global warming? We don’t need no….
Ah, forgeddaboutit
I haven’t read any of the new (post-52) Question comics, but I definitely liked her in 52. I’ll have to check it out.
I’m not familiar with that one, but it seems par for the “obsessive” course. Unless the rapist was a super-villain, Batman would pretty much leave him (I’m assuming here) to the cops…as long as the cops were actually going to catch him.
I was a bit “eh” about Batman until I read Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns (the first one, not the god-awful second one); the moment that sealed the deal for me was when he kicked Superman’s ass.
Yeah, the rapist was just some fratboy. The story is in the Mad Love trade.
I read an awful lot of Batman comics, though, like I said, usually for the villains. I started being fond of Montoya during Gotham Central, which was pretty amazing. Just don’t get me started on Harley Quinn’s new costume. RAGE.
Hey, maybe he could be Supply-Side Jesus:
@ happiestsadist
You mean the porno-nurse costume? Or has she moved on to a new atrocity?
I don’t enjoy reading about normal people, so I really dig the mental illness aspect of batman/batman villians. However, in things like the movies (and to a lesser extent the newer cartoons) he seems to be the perfect dude. He is good looking and competent and they give him real love interests. He seems like a dude that identifies a problem and then biffs off to his own personal sharper image/crime lab to solve it, and then he kisses the girl and has parties and fundraisers to help out the good politicians. Graphic novels/some comics seem to be the only place that they really expand on how fucked up he is inside to even contemplate his lifestyle.
Gaebolga, yeah, the Arkham Asylum game one plus the new-new one. Uuugh.
Skeptifem@ #69: Well put. In so many of the more recent comics, there’s always someone pointing out how fucked up he is.
I wouldn’t mind being Danny the Street. He’s a sentient, super-powered street. And a drag queen.
don’t forget his pity parties and entitlement to women in return for being a Nice Guy! We are all supposed to feel sorry that MJ isn’t all over him, right? Dr. Horrible’s sing along blog is a good commentary on that kind of entitled bullshit, the way the audience is meant to feel for men almost exclusively.
re: batman. I just thought about the 70’s batman. I bet we all just have wildly different pictures of the dude in our heads and are failing at coherent discussion as a result.
There was a comic a couple of years back about a superhero who shot the president in the first issue(I think?). It was about the theme of superheros attacking petty criminals instead of crime on a huge interational scale, the kind of crime where the criminals write the law and get to call it something else (“war”, “trade agreements”, “aid”, etc). I cannot freaking remember the name and I REALLY WANTED TO READ IT. The name was something summer, I think. If anyone remembers please post the name. thank you!
There’s the Sandman and his sister, Death.
Yeah, the movies mostly blow, and even The Dark Knight reduces Batman to a stock hero. The Joker made that movie.
On an tangentially related note, back when I worked in a comic bookstore I used to have detailed discussions with a couple of the customers about how much coke or speed Bruce must be doing to stay awake for his double life. We decided that he probably used a Wayne Enterprises designer drug.
I dunno if he is a sociopath, it seems to me like a shit ton of batman storylines revolve around his TREMENDOUS REGRET about something. Seems to me like he is a dude with everything in life and who still got fucked over by a violent society in having his parents killed, and as someone with enormous privilege he has very few moral choices outside of utilizing his wealth to rid the city of as much crime as possible. Maybe I am overthinking it a bit? Real billionares getting together to create other kinds of change would face a lot of obstacles (ralph nader wrote a book about that hypothetical situation and how hard it would be to get something done). Batman is clearly obsessive and can’t sleep at night when he fucks up though. There are kinds of OCD that focus on morality to a destructive extent.
Even if he is a sociopath… his motivation is a lot better than Dexter’s stupid ass motivation (and it would essentially be the same story).
I was expecting the video to be about the fact that Superman (especially the first couple decades) was an undeniable leftist. To quote Wikipedia, “An influence on early Superman stories is the context of the Great Depression. The left-leaning perspective of creators Shuster and Siegel is reflected in early storylines. Superman took on the role of social activist, fighting crooked businessmen and politicians and demolishing run-down tenements. This is seen by comics scholar Roger Sabin as a reflection of “the liberal idealism of Franklin Roosevelt’s New Deal”, with Shuster and Siegel initially portraying Superman as champion to a variety of social causes.”
And a side note reflecting on Spider-Man: I always felt that the core of Spider-Man was his Candide-like persistence in upholding his values, despite the fact the universe seems intent on crushing any tiny bit of selfish, though much-deserved, happiness he ever achieves. Oh sure, they tease him quitting regularly but he always comes back for more in the end. Granted this is based on the classic story lines like Ditko’s run and the Death of the Gwen Stacy. I am aware that some later writers were a little more generous to poor Peter Parker, but even that got taken away in some sort of reality warping deal with the devil. I kind of stopping reading after that revamp.
I bet you’re right. :)
When I think of Batman, my initial thought is almost always Miller’s Dark Knight Returns version, then the later stuff comes tumbling in to fill out the schema.
I believe you’re thinking of Ellis’ Black Summer miniseries.
The idea of Perry as the Punisher is an interestomg one given that the Punisher was a rather blatant copying of Don Pendleton’s The Executioner. In his early days Frank Castle differed from Mack Bolan mainly in his choice of working attire, operating in a world of super powered beings, amd level of mental stability. It sort of fits Perry I suppose if you consider him wanting to be Dubya II, the Dubya-ing.
Someone once noted that the most interesting thing about Batman are his villains. Batman’s solution to everything is to either 1) hit it or 2) use Bat-Deux-Ex-Machina device … then hit it.
I have to agree with PZ, we all know Batman is the best superhero, and in close quarters combat he would kick Jesus’ ass.
…or 3) get Oliver Queen to shoot it with a kryptonite arrow, then use Bat-Deus-Ex-Machina to hit it.
Would that be the same Superman who recently RENOUNCED HIS US CITIZENSHIP? That’s a more interesting choice than he may have intended…
Just to freak the reporters I’d say ‘why, Sabertooth of course. Thats a silly question’
Ha!
Yeah, that’s one of the more annoying things about him (or his writers, I guess) especially in the movies where they aren’t even covert about it. “It’s a story about one girl. That girl.”
No, dude. It’s a story about a kid with a smart mouth who gets in over his head 9 times out of 10. I liked the “Madam, I do not eat muscatel grapes” thing back at fourteen, too, but that’s supposed to be one of the things we grow out of.
Honestly though, I kinda don’t want to see Pete without that. It’s part of who he is. The incredible insecurity, the need for the ‘hot girl’ to want him only to be rebuked by him later, pointless martyrdom, it makes him a more believable human being.
One of the things I hate about how hardship is often portrayed is how it supposedly always makes the person stronger, better and other people jealous. The young soldier returns grizzled and manly from war, a geeky boy becomes uber nice and gets all the tail ect. Watching an awkward kid, raised by his aunt and uncle going to a school that largely ignores his talents actually grow up into a flawed human being that despite constantly wanting to shoulder responsibility (because that’s what men are supposed to do) is never able to handle it and subconsciously takes it out on the people around him by denying them the most precious thing in the world (him) is kinda neat.
Even if the writer’s goal is to make me say ‘Poor, Spidey…’
Have ya read DC? Batman IS the exception. Just about every billionaire presented is either a villain or connected to one.
Given the crowd posting here, I’m surprised my favorite atheist/inventor/fair play advocate Mr. Terrific hasn’t gotten a mention.
Comics Spidey isn’t a good choice for a fundie presidential candidate these days given that he made a deal with the Devil. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Man:_One_More_Day
Short version, for those who don’t want to get stuck on Wikipedia all day, is that when Aunt May is shot and about to die Peter Parker makes a deal with Mephisto, one of Marvel’s Satan stand ins, to save her life. The deal includes his marriage to Mary Jane never happening, dissolving a marriage that had lasted for more than 20 years in the real world. Marvel editor in chief Joe Quesada pushed for all this, never having like the marriage, claiming it made Spider Man seem “too old,” as would ending the marriage in divorce. Some less than charitable comments have suggested this is the result of Quesada’s mid life crisis.
As mentioned above, “Good Hair” Perry would definitely be Captain Hammer.
I’d like to see him try to go up against Bad Horse.
perry is a pretentious asshole!
he probably even believes his own BS. I doubt his understanding of anything has advanced beyond the third grade.
I personally find most of the “super heroes” to be possessed of a personality with definite flaws including feelings of superiority out to save the world.
my two favorite “heroes” are not very heroic maybe that says something about me but I am not a hero nor am I looking for any savior. any way they are the Hulk who just wants to be left alone to live as he wants and the wondering warrior Groo who would love some cheese dip!
uncle frogy
skeptifem:
I think it was Black Summer
and how about Hunter Rose?
:)
Space Ghost.
I probably wouldn’t be an atheist or philosophical naturalist if I lived in the Marvel or DC universe, but I wouldn’t be a monotheist either. There’s all sorts of demigods and heroes performing miraculous deeds powered by the supernatural entities of various mythologies.
But then, if the supernatural acts become provable, repeatable, and explainable are they really still supernatural? I suppose I would still be naturalist or a sort, just a naturalist in a different natural order.
I’d probably say Volstagg the Voluminous. I always was a better sidekick type–and he’s funny!
Alverant:
I assume you’ve read Batman’s twitter feed, yes?
‘Tis:
Perry is no Morpheus. Fuck, I won’t even give any of The Endless, not even Despair.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_Thirteen
There’s gotta be some other atheist folks who love Doctor Thirteen. His superpower is skepticism!
I’m surprised the answer wasn’t Captain America. He seems like a jingoistic product of the cold war to me. Maybe Captain America is more of a John McCain type superhero. Meh.
Does Nyarlathotep count as a superhero? That’s who I would be if it was my question.
Does Alucard count for a superhero? I mean, he does fight to save Britan from all kinds of nasties, including the Catholic church, which surely counts for something.
Besides, he can be shot, decapitated, stabbed or all three at once, and just come out of the fight laughing.
Now that’s a character that would make the media’s heads explode.
Cap being chosen by some right winger would be amusing given that he’s tended to be portrayed in the modern era as a progressive even by modern standards. Assuming he actually got a chance to vote before he was frozen at the end of WW2 Steve Rogers most likely voted for FDR.
Perry? He seems like kind of a Tick.
For me, I’d want to say Dr. Strange;
If for some Bizzaro reason I was in a Republican “debate”, I would have to go with Judge Dredd.
He should have gone with James Rhodes, a.k.a. War Machine. Former Marine Corps pilot, uses Stark Industries technology (in other words, good old American ingenuity) in service to the American government…
Then again, Rhodes is black, so that might not play too well.
Batman to me is the Adam West Batman and so I will not weigh in there.
The only comic book I ever gave much of a shit about–besides Howard the Duck, of course–was Dr. Strange. There’s a guy I’d vote for, by the Sphincter of Oddi!
Yes you would. for the naturalist part at least. Magic in that setting is part of their natural world
For me, incidentally, I think I’m a Harley Quinn. Hyperneurotic perfectionist and abuse survivor gone somewhat loopy, brilliant aside from the distraction of shininess and violence, and a sucker for pretty redheads with a knack at gardening.
Tim
That’s interesting. I only knew about him from secondhand info, and I guess I had a totally backwards impression of what he was about.
I have also discovered another problem:
I feel there’s a Venture Bros. character that we should be able to compare Perry to. I just can’t think of which one.
… Maybe Hank dressed as Batman.
@Audley
Srg Hatred? White Noise?
WHITE NOISE! Ing, you’re a freaking genius!
OMFG, I adore this man. If he ever needs to flee to Canada to dodge the draft or escape the fundagelical horde or anything, he and his kitty can sooo stay with me for as long as they like.
Spectacular Spider-Man, the animated tv series, is a much more interesting take on Spider-Man in general.
MJ isn’t interested in him, Gwen Stacy is, and Gwen exists as more than just “that person who was dropped off a bridge”, she’s actually intellectually on par with Peter.
and all the villains I despised from the comics are a lot cooler in it too. and an Eddie Brock storyline that isn’t just a copypasta of the 90s animated series and comics.
Oooh, ooh oooh, I can has MacGuyver? But seriously, he may not be a superhero, but he sure can get himself out of some trouble.
Well, as long as we’re wandering away from superheros, how’s about Zapp Brannigan?
@Judy
Who Perry?
holy shit MACGYVER. MacGyver is on netflix instant now. It is fucking awesome. The first one I watched was a two parter, the description read “While researching his family’s genealogy, MacGyver discovers that his family name was disgraced during the Middle Ages”. Awww yeah, he shows merlin whats up (yeah, for serious). He makes a fire extinguisher and activated charcoal to save the kings life!
I watch Everything Is Terrible quite often though, I don’t know how many people are interested in watching things for their sheer awfulness.
PZ, you should be ashamed. Batman is the one comic character who uses his brain, research, science! to beat the bad guys! When everyone else is screwed, it’s Batman that comes to the rescue. He’s the poster boy for science
I’d say Reed Richards is the poster boy for science. Ooooorrrrr, Braniac5.
What superpowered character would Rick Perry be? How about Mystique?
The Sewer Urchin. In his realm, he is considered the epitome of cool.
Well he sure as hell ain’t Captain Planet.
Not even as portrayed by Don Cheadle.
I’d say Perry is closest to Captain Hammer. An amoral sociopath with good press and good hair. Hammer is actually a negative force for his community in that he retards progress through his persecution of the intelligent.
Batman is pro-science and rationalism, his chief “power” is his skill as a detective, which is aided by having the resources of Wayne enterprises at his disposal – resources which include extensive investments into research and development. He further views criminals as being redeemable (which comes into play in at least one storyline where Arkham Asylum is abusing its inmates.)
The Batman has refused to kill The Joker to the point that a lot of comic book readers found the Red Hood’s verbal smackdown of him to be highly effective and sympathetic.
Over time the bat has also become progressively more liberal – taking on causes such as animal rights (through the influence of Catwomen) and environmentalism (Through the influence of Poison Ivy). He is a character who considers why his enemies behave the way they do and whether they may have a point.
If they do he will still stop them, but he will try to also change things behind the scenes as Bruce Wayne.
Plus, all that keeps him from being an atheist really is that he has a contingency plan for taking out God should there actually be one. It involves a box of matches.
Is he portrayed as better? Not really. He has more money, which means more power and more opportunity, that is not the same thing as better.
Superman originated as a pro-working class hero and is in his secret identity a member of the liberal press. His chief enemy is pretty much big business. Needless to say I favour the Bat.
[Governor Goodhair]
Writing about Nero (he of the fire), about two millenia ago, Tacitus could have been talking about Perry by saying that Nero was adjudged – by the hoi palloi -to be better than his successor (Galba) because of his looks and personal attraction. Voting for hair is not that new or unusual.
One thing I have never understood about Spiderman is that he is constantly kvetching about how poor he is. He could patent and then license his web fluid, and make millions from it.
Actually Spiderman once tried to interest some commercial chemists in his web fluid, but the deal fell through when it became clear that the adhesive was temporary, losing its hold after perhaps a half-hour. As he said, he didn’t want the stuff to stay around, sticking things together forever. The chemists told him to come back when he found a way to make it permanent.
I’d add that Richards is more of an engineer than a scientist. When was the last time Richards actually had a publication? Even Doctor Doom, who isn’t a real doctor has been published if I’m not mistaken. Richards builds things with science and tends not to actually share the original research he does do. Hence the “Reed Richards is useless” and why Warren Ellis used a parody of the character as a super villain.
Except that it has use for crowd control, police weaponry (I mean…DUH that’s it’s primary purpose) and riot quelling. Imagine the GOOD that could be done if police had webbing rifles and pistols instead of firearms? Non-lethal yet effective immobilizing agents!? The time saved from paper work alone would save the city millions!
Bruce Tim and Paul Dini to their credit went out of their way to portray Batman as someone who does work as Wayne as well to try to address the underlying problems. Wayne is shown as investing in Arkham and pushing it towards rehabilitation. When he discovered one of the guards at the Asylum was using old school conservative ‘beat them straight’ methods he put on pressure to get the guy fired and protect the rights of his enemies.
!!!
I’ve never heard of it, but now I really want to read it too…!!!
When will I stop laughing?
I certainly won’t stop laughing now!!!
Shit I know the one but not the name. It’s by Warren Ellis though. That might help track it down. Not surprising as the idea of heroes not using their powers for the most good (Poor mugger who steals to feed his family or an addiction is fair game but a head of state that slaughters people is not) is a theme of his.
For those who are interested, I checked last night and I’m certain that this is referring to Warren Ellis’ Black Summer miniseries.
I am interested…thanks.
I always identified with Swamp Thing, myself. Until he started traveling to different planets for some reason.
How come nobody tought of the purple superhero, Bibleman?
With the amazing power of boring “the enemy of God” to death with biblequotes?
I think Mr. Perry would be great for the role.
The thing about superhero comics is that they’ve tended to stick to the idea of the stories taking place in a world basically like our own but with people with superpowers and super tech pasted over top. The writers tend not to consider the idea of what effect this would have on the world because it’s not hard to see that you’d quickly end up with world quite different from ours. You also tend to rob characters of their motivation if you examine the effect too much. Why be a supervillain when you could just take the energy technology used to make your portable death ray and find commercial applications for it? You could make millions, or billions, gain as much power as you might by taking over Belize, and not risk years in prison.
There have been a couple of instances to examine the effects of super tech altering society. Alan Moore’s Watchmen takes place in a 1980s rather different from our own due to 40 decades of super tech, as well as the story’s Superman equivalent, Doctor Manhattan, helping the US win in Vietnam. The third volume of the now defunct Wildstorm Comics series Wildcats in part revolved around the effect of the introduction of energy cells that never ran out of power to the consumer market.
Oops, that of course should be 4 decades, not 40.
I’m surprised nobody mentioned Rorschach as a possibility for Rick Perry (not that he’d ever say it himself; it’s both too obscure for him and too honest): a poisonously right-wing vigilante would be a strong match for him.
If I were running for office, I’d say:
“They don’t have superpowers, but the comic book characters I identify with is a group called Damage Control (have fun with that, media). They clean up after guys like the X-Men and Magneto wreck up the streets of the city, battling things out. Damage Control gets called in to make things as good as new, or better, and that’s what I aim to do about the messes our country is in right now.”
By the way, Damage Control is also terribly funny; if you can find the miniseries that have been put out, you won’t regret reading them.
If a chemist cannot come up with applications for powerful adhesives which dissolve after half an hour, said chemist is an idiot.
Just the other day, I was installing a new range hood in my kitchen. I wanted two hands to hold it while I used two other hands to insert the screws. A strong temporary adhesive would have been ideal for me. You can’t think of applications where you would want two things solidly attached for only a relatively short period of time?
No, he’s not like Batman. If Perry is like ANY superhero, I’d say he’d be the superhero in Orange Peel 3. Go check this out- a fundamentalist Christian, angry at all the “atheist superheroes” in the world, decided to make a Christian superhero who fights evil atheists dressed like a KKK member dipped in red, and who has yet to learn of some evil woman who put liberal ideas into the world to get rid of Christianity.
http://www.orangepeel3.com/orangepeel3.com/Home_OPcom.html
Solar, Man of the Atom. I’d vote for anyone who gave that answer.
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