Wayne Laugesen rightly points out that the Catholic church does not have exclusive ownership of pedophilia and child abuse. But then he takes a long leap into lunacy.

Today, sexual abuse of children is clearly out of control in public schools and is even more prevalent in homes. Society needs to stop acting as if it’s a problem caused by priests and look to the Catholic Church in the United States for answers. Due in part to public outrage regarding its mistakes and misdeeds of the past, the church appears to have emerged as the one organization with a formula for nearly eradicating sexual threats to children.

That’s impressively bizarre, and I admit, I never would have thought of it. What organization has the most experience with raping children? The Catholic church. Therefore, what organization should we turn to and tap into that experience? The Catholic church.

I think he’s wrong, though. There is a group with more experience: institutionalized child molesters. Clearly, with this reasoning, we should recruit a crack team of professional child rapers from our prisons and asylums, and send them on a grand tour of the country to advise schools on managing abuse. It’ll give a whole new meaning to the phrase “after school special”.