We will never be able to stop this approach. We’re doomed!
Unless…we start touting beer and porn as the products of evolution. Get to work on it, gang.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
We will never be able to stop this approach. We’re doomed!
Unless…we start touting beer and porn as the products of evolution. Get to work on it, gang.
I always knew beer and porn would destroy the world.
Okay these guys are my new heroes. I’m convinced!
Haha! gØd chilled out on the seventh day. I guess he ate bananas too. :-)
It’s brilliant!
We can give away free porn to people on the Internet!
I haven’t figured out the online distribution of beer and bananas yet though…
Just show that beer evolves. Or at least isn’t created spontaneously from nothing (lets face it that can’t be hard).
Porn does however spontaneously appear near me. At least thats what I’d tell people if they found it.
Is it wrong of me to want to watch the coeds eat some more bananas?
Jesus juice, anyone?
I always did wonder what IDiots, etc., did with the fact that god must clearly have designed yeast to make alcohol, along with marijuana, peyote, and opium poppies.
They couldn’t simply have come about by accident, after all.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p
Okay guys? I want the name of that show. What is it??
In tidal pools, the chemistry that led to life was born,
Evolving through selection into modern beer and porn.
…
Beer does more than Darwin can…
On the seventh day… he chilled.
Like a pimp!
Gotta love it. I think these guys are on to something.
I like the TVTropes Useful Notes on Atheism.
“In other words, claiming Darwin was racist doesn’t disprove Evolution, so don’t do it”
Don’t forget bacon.
Remember God Hates Bacon.
Rutee, NEVER underestimate the sheer stupidity of people who will argue against evolution. A few month back we had a long since banned troll see the title, Darwin’s Plantation and informed us that Charles Darwin had slaves. Never mind that the “author” of the said book is a crank of the first degree.
They did make one significant mistake. They said that Ray Comfort wrote the introduction to the free edition of Darwin’s Origin of Species.
Nope.
The simplest way to track down more information on an embedded YouTube video is to click on it and go to the YouTube channel that carries it. In this case, you’ll go to christjohnpat’s channel. It’s fairly new and they have only three videos posted at present. I think we can expect more.
Ha ha ha! That is absolutely awesome.
Uh oh, if they’re promoting religion with beer and porn, their next step could be using the idea that “Believing in Jesus will make you rich.” Plus pizza parties in the church basement.
Oh, wait. Right. Been done.
This was tasteless, sophomoric, and blasphemous.
Three of my favorite things!
It’s all very “well” (ie bad) to claim bananas, beer and porn are to be credited to god (without evidence of course!) but science has and can do better.
Not only did some early science, viz agriculture, genuinely give humans the edible version bananas but it was also responsible for beer – and continues to work on it. In theory, science should be able to come up with improved porn too (it has already tested out sheep and other ape versions). There may be some difficulty getting grant applications approved though …
That was great. Those guys are going straight to hell.
The name of the show is The Chaser’s War on Everything. Never seen a real episode of the show, but all the Youtube clips are great.
Oh, I forgot to add, that this satire could pose a dilemma to the evangelist. What if reading the religious porn or drinking the “Blood of Jesus” beer were to lead to a real conversion? Would it count?
It would have to.
One of the byproducts of basing a belief on “faith” is that there is no wrong way to become a convert — as long as you do. In science, if you accept a theory for the wrong reasons — a misunderstanding of the theory, unthinking obedience to an authority, a desire to fit in with others, a need to fill a hole in your life — it doesn’t really count. Not in the scientific sense. There’s no rational understanding; you haven’t done the intellectual work. You can’t believe what you don’t understand.
But you don’t just believe religion, you believe in religion, and it’s supposed to be a mystery above comprehension. The attitude of agreement is more important than a rational analysis. If you change your religion because you marry someone with a different religion, then that’s fine and dandy. You just change your faith. As long as you’re sincere, it’s supposed to be “the way God chose to reveal Himself” or “the path taken towards Truth” or whatever. There’s no wrong way to become a Christian. If you’re baptised into it during infancy, it counts.
So, technically, if there’s any remote chance that there will be a genuine convert from this, they can’t call it sheer mockery. It’s a legitimate form of evangelism, for God may work in mysterious ways.
Watching this video, I am also reminded of something else shaped not unlike a banana. It also fits handily into one’s palm.
I’m sure it’s been said before, but doesn’t the argument for God from the Banana work just as well as argument for God/”Intelligent Design” from male masturbation?
Wish they had come to my university ^^
Cuttlefish (@9):
And you say you’re not a poet!?!?! ;^)
If that couplet doesn’t show up on a t-shirt in your web store, and soon!, there’s no justice in the world!
Michelle R,
hungry beast, on ABC
There is a science in beer making. Also beer is holy as attested to the fact some of the best beers are made by monks. Therefor if Beer = Science and Beer = God, therefor Science = God. That is a simple proof. Now let me get back to drinking.
Porn is creationism. If you find the really old stuff you’ll find people were as sick back then as they are now. The only difference is the quality of video tape.
At least can we distribute blasphemous images. Even if they are a little disturbing or racy.
Not all atheists like beer. I find the stuff disgusting myself.
Bananas, beer, and breasts. How can we win against those?
I bet you kick kittens and steal kids lollipops too
If I recall, there’s a beer out there brewed with a yeast strain recovered from fossils, considerably older than 4,004 BC.
Ah yes, here it is:
http://www.fossilfuelsbrewingco.com/
They claim their yeast dates to the Paleogene, 25-45 mya.
Oh yeah? So you’re a false atheist, then. You’ll see what that gets you when you’re dead.
Hmm, no you wont. Damn, emotional blackmail is hard to do when you can’t make stuff up.
This. I can’t stand anything fermented (beer, wine, vinegar)
Now, give me a good rum or Hurricane on the other hand…
There are some moments when I really like Australian television. “Neighbours” isn’t one of them. However that clip rocked. I’ll have to start watching Hungry Beast.
Also fermented. But then distilled.
“Get to work on it, gang.”
The key word here being *gang* P.Z.?
Thanks for providing a barrel of laughs this morning P.Z. I just discovered that you are currently ranked Numbero Uno aka Number One aka #1 in Google when someone runs a search for –
fundamentalist asshole
Seriously P.Z.
Just enter –
fundamentalist asshole
into Google’s search term window and then click on the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
As they say. . .
It works for me! :-)
Category: Fundamentalist Atheism • Humor
Are non-beer-drinkers coming out of the closet here? Count me in. I don’t drink any form of alcoholic beverage. I fear it would take the edge off my zaniness.
Um……So is it Chaser’s War on Everything or Hungry Beast?
Re Cheryl #30:
Oops – I missed one! Science/technology has made breasts “better” too.
Is there anything else “real” students care about? Evidently, as a text-book reader, I was an atypical one and hence don’t have myself as a usable anecdotal example for this purpose.
holyspiritdenier | December 17, 2009 12:42 PM:
That’s ok. Zeno doesn’t drink alcohol at all!
I also have several real life atheist friends who don’t drink beer. It’s all good – more beer for me.
That episode is on Hungry Beast (see the link I posted at #27). The two presenters Chris and Lewis do not appear on Chaser’s War.
The oral insertion of such objects can be titillating, I guess, but it always gets a bit disconcerting when the biting and chewing begins.
Who’s this Robin Edgar schmuck? Is he new or have I fortuitously missed previous drivel he’s dribbled?
I know, but whatever makes fermented things unpalatable to me is removed in distillation. Possibly not all though, as there are still distilled things I don’t like – brandy and gin for example.
Dear Brother Robin Edgar @ 34
Thank you for your post explaining that if you type “fundamentalist asshole” into Google, PZ’s name pops up straight away. What a semi-intelligent way to attract traffic to your blog. And guess whose blog also popped up first every time when I typed the following words into Google?
EMERSON AVENGER PRACTICES SELF ABUSE
EMERSON AVENGER KISSES GOD’S ASSHOLE
ROBIN EDGAR LIKES RECTAL GAMES
I could go on, but I’m laughing too hard to type anymore.
Thank you for hours of diverting humor.
Smoggy
Dear Ragutis,
Robin Edgar shows up here from time to time to share his latest delusions with us regarding his belief that a past solar eclipse was God’s divine asshole in the sky. He’s actually quite sad, being the epitome of the damage religious woo can cause to a fragile psyche and thus a man who probably needs serious psychological treatment. But this is balanced out by the fact that he’s offensive, irritating and narrowly obsessed with his religion. Much like me actually.
The most rewarding way to get rid of him is by being rude (which, I’m sorry, doesn’t work with me).
Yours in Christurbation
Smoggy
Science invented video.
That seems more like a different delivery system than a refinement of the actual item (in the way that planes and cold storage systems to get bananas around the world aren’t a change to the banana itself). However, I suppose computer animation (and any other video tricks) might make a significant difference to the substance too.
Ragutis, dear sweet (and salty) Brother Smoggy forgot to add that Robin Edgar is waging a one nut war against the UU in Montreal. He claims that the UU is a totalitarian organization because they will not take seriously his claim that a solar eclipse is the eye of god. He has some videos on YouTube. Though they show the actions of a supreme asshole, Robin Edgar thinks he is showing off his righteousness.
Quick, get an evolutionary psychologist on the phone!
Porn’s a good idea but I’d stay away from the beer.
You steep malted barley in warm water to get the enzymes in the malt to convert the starch to sugars. Now, do you want a light crisp beer? Or do you want a beer with more body? Whichever you want there’s no problem. The enzymes for fermentable sugars that produce crisp, light beers kick in at a lower temperature than the enzymes for less fermentable sugars. They also phase out of operation nice and smoothly as the enzymes for less fermentable sugars smoothly phase in. However you want your beer on the crisp/body scale, there is a temperature that will do it.
Now hops add bitterness, flavour and aroma to a beer. But some styles (e.g. porters) call for just bitterness, others (many Belgium styles) call for more flavour than bitterness whilst some call for bitterness, flavour and aroma. Fortunately you have to boil hops for some time before they add bitterness, by which time all the flavour and aroma has gone. If you boil them for a short period of time hops add flavour but no bitterness and no aroma. To get aroma you add them right at the end of the boil or even in the barrel after the boil. By adding hops in differing amounts at different stages in the boil you can get the exact balance of bitterness, flavour and aroma that you want.
The enzymes in malt and the chemistry of hops are spectacularly useful in giving us just the beer we want. But giving us the beer we want is no selective advantage for barley or the hop vine. So how did that get here?
Beer really is the proof that the Intelligent Designer loves us and wants us to be happy!
It is strange that Creationists and IDiots go on about butterflies and eyes and all those things that so obviously fit evolution when what they should be doing is plonking a nicely balanced pint of Real Ale in front of people. I suppose that it is the Puritanical nonsense that comes with fundamentalism that blinds them to it.
Quick PZ! Delete this post before the secret gets out.
Now that we know that Mr. Comfort plagiarized a chunk of his “introduction” to Origin of Species, it takes away whatever slight credence he might have had.
And Kirk Cameron is a godbag whack-job.
Another non-beer-drinking atheist here. Likes me some cider when I can get it, though. Picked up that vice when visiting the UK. Damn Brits!
Also like: wine, an occasional bourbon (Maker’s Mark).
Hope this doesn’t cause me any agro when I go to my first Detroit atheist meetup next month.
OH NOES!! DEEP RIFT!!!!11!! GOATS ON FIRE!!!!11!!!1!
I don’t blame you folks for confusing the Chaser and Hungry Beast. The Chaser’s War isn’t on the air at the moment; Hungry Beast is unrelated except that it’s on the ABC, and it’s got an all-new team.
Veteran TV host Andrew Denton hired about 19 young journalists and said, “Tell me something I don’t know.” The result is like the Chaser’s War at times, but it’s far more interested in making a point than making the audience cringe. I like it a LOT more.
Actually Janine I am waging a one man war against not only the Big Fat U*U Church of Montreal but ALL Unitarian*Univeralists who engage in or condone anti-religious intolerance and bigotry and various other U*U injustices and abuses including clergy misconduct of ALL kinds. I am not in fact claiming that “the UU is a totalitarian organization because they will not take seriously (my) claim that a solar eclipse is the eye of god.” For starters I have never at any time claimed that the total solar eclipse is the actual eye of God. I am claiming that the total solar eclipse’s distinct similarity in appearance to the pupil and iris of an eye is not just a “coincidence” i.e. it is a product of Intelligent Design aka ID and that it is intended to serve as a cosmic symbol of God’s divine omniscience. I am very confident that it is only a matter of time before you and other people discover that I am telling the truth about that *fact* of life. I only accuse U*Us of being “Totalitarian Unitarians” when they actually say and do things that have repressive totalitarianism written all over them. . .
My videos on YouTube are worth a peek but the only actions of “a supreme asshole” that they show are those of a Totalitarian Unitarian “Citizens` Police Officer” who I have come to call U*U COP.
Enjoy. . .
:Robin Edgar thinks he is showing off his righteousness.
How do you know what I think Janine? Are you a psychic? What I am “showing off” in my peaceful public protest against U*U injustices, abuses and hypocrisy is the wrongfulness of some words and actions of outrageously hypocritical Unitarian*Universalists aka U*Us. Nothing more, nothing less. . .
Robin ‘pissant’ Edgar wrote:
Let’s see – because you make it obvious from your lame-brained actions and inane posts here on this site?
You’re the kind of woo-soaked loon that even other woo-soaked loons refuse to associate with and spend most of their time pointing and laughing at. You’re a joke amongst jokes.
Ah. I see. The iris is round, and has muscles that change it’s shape and focus the lens. Also the asshole is round, and has muscles that change it’s shape and allow it to pass or retain various things. Therefore, in an eclipse, the moon changes shape to… to… Hmmm. Mr Edgar, you are a fool.
So the fundie xtians are using beer and porn for prosetlyzation now?
Seems the fundies are evolving in their tactics.
But wait, evolution goes against teh babble and teh creation story.
The fundies have gone against teh babble! They’re going to hell! They’re not gonna pass go, they’re not gonna collect $200!
@ steve #58:
The spoof fundies are.
“That seems more like a different delivery system than a refinement of the actual item (in the way that planes and cold storage systems to get bananas around the world aren’t a change to the banana itself). However, I suppose computer animation (and any other video tricks) might make a significant difference to the substance too.”
…Well, not really. Video is only ‘a delivery service’ if you can conveniently find people to watch doing the horizontal monster mash while doing so yourself. It’s not impossible, but it’s not /easy/ for most. DVDs are a delivery system improvement; Video, not so much.
@ Rutee #60:
The “peeping Tom” is a very old-fashioned occupation though. So some people clearly did manage to find other people to watch.
If you’re ignoring static images, the next step would have been film (radio?) rather than video. However, the content itself probably hadn’t been improved. It’s the same old banana – just shipped wholesale (film) and then personally delivered (video/DVD / YouTube?).
In terms of using porn to get people to believe in Jesus, does Mel Gibson’s the Passion count? Of course if Jesus porn is your thing, as a medievalist I could easily hook you up with the writings of various female visionaries and their fairly detailed and graphic make out visions with Jesus. Christianity becomes so much duller once the Puritans show up.
Izgad
I don’t actually disagree about peeping toms, but to my knowledge it’s not a CONVENIENT thing. It’s done stealthily, and alone. What I’m thinking when I say “Watch other couple have sex while you do” is some sort of decadent Caligula-esque court where people just have 0 decency.
Film and Radio indicate advances to capture and reproduce the phenomenon without actually requiring the couple’s physical presence, so perhaps you’re correct to set the bar there. But I think the ability to do so at YOUR convenience elevates the Video to an actual contribution to porn.
Eddie we will see who is *really* a fool down the road a bit. . .
I don’t usually quote scripture at people but this famous saying from the Psalms is worth repeating here –
“The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God.”
Psalm 53:1
As they say Eddie. . .
Time will tell.
God knows that you and other devout atheists will have the surprise of your life one of these days.
Wow, asshole. That put down is just as convincing as you argument that a solar eclipse is similar in looks to an eye. It is almost as if you are a fool.
And, yes, I feel sorry for all of those people who have put up with your harassing ways in real life.
And I call you asshole not because I am psychic. I do not think that such powers exist. I call you asshole because that is the behavior you display in your videos.
If only there was a Galactus* sized Moe to pokes a solar eclipse in the eye.
*I know almost nothing about comics but I know the is one that is a devourer of worlds and the Silver Surfer is involved somehow.
#64
Oh yeah, like we haven’t seen that vomit from your fairy tale book before.
The Book of Aquaria 1:7: Fuck off, deluded moron.
At least that’s a quote from someone who actually existed, dipshit.
But… but… Aquaria… Atheists know that the big sky daddy is real but like to pretend that he does not. The asshole knows what we think. It is not because he is psychic but because he has his book of PURE TRUTH. And the solar eye is proof of truthiness.
Hmm, Psalms 53:1 Interesting… never heard that one before…
You know, it’s funny how that would also have to include you…
But then again, I don’t give a fuck what some insane, dusty old book of fairy tales says, particularly when it comes to shit like this:
You must have no idea how foolish you are. The first step is recognizing that you have a problem.
“God knows that you and other devout atheists will have the surprise of your life one of these days.”
Whole classroom of atheists: WoooooOOOOOOooooo!
And my poor fool is hang’d! No, no, no life!
Why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have life,
And thou no breath at all? Thou’lt come no more,
Never, never, never, never, never!
@ Rutee #63:
You’re still missing the point though. I’m not knocking the advances made in the delivery system. I’m sure they do make the product much more accessible and usable for people. I’m just saying that it’s still the same old “banana” being delivered. The content hasn’t been changed much scientifically.
Whereas, with the banana itself, human proto-science completely altered its structure to be far more edible than the original plantain – and then added a delivery system too.
I’m looking for some systematic change to the nature of the content (the type of thing viewed, the order, the rate or whatever) to make it more effective (like the banana). Perhaps if scientists worked out that smellovision was important and added appropriate hormone sprays or something to the delivery systems. I don’t actually know what it would be! I just doubt there’s been much of a systematic approach to analysing it as yet – merely a marketing one, presumably. Whereas there has been some science behind analysing the basic preferences of various animals. So it’s not an infeasible thing.
Mr. T
In your case I guess you can pity the “fool” who does not believe in a fairy sky god.
“I don’t give a f*** what some insane, dusty old book of fairy tales says, particularly when it comes to shit like this”
What would you say to historians of nineteenth century Romanticism who use the Grimm fairy tales to analyze German culture?
I find Psalms to be a useful and spiritually meaningful book. Psalms above and beyond the rest of the Bible is about God being absent. There is no easy voice commanding you from above no matter how much the speaker wants there to be. This is an important step away from the certainty of religious fundamentalism. Where this rabbit hole leads to is anyone’s guess.
“O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us. Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. (Psalms 137:8-9 ~KJV)”
C. S. Lewis argues that such sentiments ought to be admired unlike the more “Christian” turn the other cheek sentiment. Can you understand the pain and frustration of someone who believes that God controls the world and yet does not act? “Come on God why don’t you just come down and do some smiting.” Again this is the sort of thinking that sets the stage for the sort of religious crisis that can bring down fundamentalist religion.
Izgad
Mr. T, I admire a man who spontaneously ejaculates passages from “King Lear”.
Yes, well Eddie, we here at Pharyngula happily
declare to the world that the god of the bible is a sad delusion…
So Ray Comfort plagiarizes and waters down Dr. Stan Guffey in order to write his introduction to a bowdlerized Darwin, and apparently Robin Edgar is riffing on a sanitized Daniel Paul Schreber? Wow.
Forbidden Snowflake, I admire a woman who admires a man who…
I’m glad I came back to this thread. You guys are awesome.