First Ken Ham, and now…the Paranormal Clergy Institute! Have a browse and a chuckle. These people seem to be part of some breakaway Catholic sect, and their specialty is demonology — possessions, hauntings, that sort of thing. You can even take classes if you want to know more about demons.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
I think you totally need a First Level Archbishop with Incense of Saving to defeat a demon attack, but a Satanic Possession can deal 1d20 damage, so watch out!
Shoot, I’ve taken classes in that stuff for years, except we called it “weekend D&D gaming sessions.”
More fun anyway.
No kings,
Robert
First!
Also, paranormal. Clergy. Two stupid tastes that taste stupid together.
Awwww man! We suck enough already! At least we have bourbon to wash down our sorrow, but they just raised the tax on that. Bastards!
Awright! First thing I do as a post-doc is get a certificate from those guys. Always good to have a fallback position in case there’s no market for your degree. :-)
I work for a non-profit social research group located in Louisville, KY (www.pire.org). Nearly all of the PhD folks I work with are atheist or agnostic. We are also not idiots and hate that our state is associated with shit like this. I have a bachelors in biology and a master’s in public administration.
See, we aren’t all stupid in KY.
‘Yeah I need the help of the Parinormal Clergy Institute. A priest blessed my house for the previous home owner, but I’m not Catholic and Jesus has gone poltergeist on me!’
AHA! Now it’s clear – there’s no mortgage crisis, it’s Teh Demons!
That site’s a laugh… I recomend that everyone check out the waiver “I hereby release the exorcist from liability for any bodily injury or death that may occur” (well, something like that, I’m paraphrasing. The spelling and grammar on the site is atrocious also.. very professional.
No way these guys are as fun as the Ghost Hunters from the SciFi channel.
so I talk smack about spelling and grammar, and then misspell a word and forget to close my parentheses. thanks murphy.
I look forward to reading the results of their research in their Journal of the Paranormal Sciences, Demonic Possession, Witchcraft, and Other Black Arts.
Gotta stay on top of this exploding field, ya know.
“Banging noises in the walls can be Poltergeist activity and this should not be confused with Demonic”
Whew. Glad they mentioned that. I was thinking demon, but now I know it’s just a poltergeist.
Does breakaway Catholic sect mean kind of the same thing as those players who insisted on still playing Advanced Dungeons and Dragons 2nd Edition once Dungeons and Dragons 3rd Edition came out (and then 3.5, and then 4th Edition…)? Only in this case these people actually believe the contents of the Monster’s Manual are real…
I wonder if you can learn to be a paladin too, or if they only offer courses to become a cleric.
Uhmm…
Demonology?
OK, enough.
I call Poe.
For once, I think PX missed the real plum: the Paranormal Clergy Institute’s sister organisation at
http://www.afterdarkparanormalinvestigations.50megs.com/index.html
Check out their line of “parawear.”
You, too, can “hereby wave any form of legal liability” if you have any electrical currents “causing havic”. Nicely done, yes.
Are you sure that isn’t a spoof? It seems utterly ridiculous to me. I mean, ridiculous people exist but this is kind of over the top.
I thought “spoof” at first, but the “Saint Christopher Old Catholic Church” in Louisville appears to be real. I still agree with Amph.
gbarron> nice… notice it’s all the same people, with the exception of Shaman Windwalker?
I’m starting to think that these people take their D&D WAY too seriously…
Star @13:
I had good luck with the banging noises in my house by bleeding the air out of the heating system. ‘Twas an easy exorcism.
Got to admit they have the best NPCs in their games.
Oh give me a home where the demons don’t roam,
And the poltergeists all stay away,
Where never is heard a Beelzebub word,
And let me praise jebus all day
Right, I need an old priest and a young priest.
Their logo doesn’t really have the “pop” of the Ghostbusters logo, does it? They could use some help with marketing.
I would think that research on demons, or demonic possession (which is 9/10 of God’s Law) could start with Pharyngulites. I mean, granted there is little Exorcist-style puking and head-turning, but some very intemperate language is spewed forth whenever anyone even attempts to prove god’s existence, and there has been on-line blasphemy on at least one occasion.
Presumably I, to take one example familiar to myself, am possessed of the demons of pride, wrath, and un-christian intolerance, and so would make a reasonable study.
In fact I possess an unholy artifact, a wallet that bursts into flames on opening, which is surely more than just a conjuring trick!
I would welcome research on the nature and purpose of the demons within me. The mere fact that I deny that there are any is surely proof that they exist.
I will also be shameless in accepting money to flaunt my dark soul in this way.
Any takers?
gbarron @16:
Looking at the photos I see that there is one great photo of a lamp globe and the orbs could most likely be banished by using a lens shade to avoid flare. Another easy exorcism.
Well here in Eastern Scotland the banging in the walls is just the antiquated central heating system. Unless its through the party wall. Then it’s the neighbours doing DiY.
*headdesk*
I am cringing with shame.
My old home state really seems to have gone off the deep end back in the late 90’s. It never used to be so crazy…even us kids back in the mountains were given an education that pushed us to go to college. I have no idea what has happened since then.
Who ya gonna call?!..
For want of an s an apostrophe was lost…
I’m wondering what “formal training” is for demonology. I think maybe it involves hours of playing id Software’s Heretic, or maybe a Doom mod.
Seems to me that it reeks of Poe.
Damn. I’ve been saving for another trip to the Bourbon Highway and a new bottle of Booker’s. Oh well, I guess a few more cents in taxes won’t kill me and I also have the satisfaction of knowing that I’m contributing to building new bridges…as a civic minded person maybe two bottles.
Seriously, it’s two guys in dresses (granted, one has a red sash) and a storefront who declared themselves to be the Old Catholic Church, and their message is “we do this for free, but please send money”.
Playboy logo? Ok…
http://www.afterdarkparanormalinvestigations.50megs.com/custom2_1.html
Objective Ministries take two?
Nope, sorry Amph, this is no Poe, though Ifni knows it’s weird enough to be one.
You see, the good Archbishop is actually an ordained minister in KY with a church and congregation: the Saint Christopher Old Catholic Church. It seems the good Archbishop is actually the presiding archbishop of the entire Old Catholic Church in the U.S. (speaks well of the movement, doesn’t it?) They have a national website too and seem to have congregations in Chicago, Dallas, Louisville, and Milwaukee. So what we have here is way to complex to be a Poe, even a very good one. No, I’m afraid this is good old-fashioned religious nuttery.
To be as fair as possible to the good Archbishop Long, it does seem as if his version of Catholicism is a bit more liberal (if no less delusional) than the original flavor. Not that this excuses his dive into paranormal woo-mongering, but it is at least a slightly redeeming factor.
But I must agree with the D&D line of reasoning here. When I look at the pictures of the “paranormal clergy and investigators” what I see are an aging group of fantasy gamers who got religion and dove headfirst off the reality board into the fantasy pool, where they still haven’t come up for air.
If I wanted to know more about demons I would have remained married to my first wife.
It isn’t a poe, it’s a con. These guys are preying on the superstitious and gullible for cash donations.
Could be squirrels. I had squirrels once. In the attack though. Don’t even get me started on the possum in the basement episode (you don’t know evil till you’ve fought the possum poo.)
..as opposed to the regular Catholic sect; or a Protestant sect, or a Jewish or Muslim sect. Just another group of ignorant superstitious fools who can not control their own lives, so they try to control others’ lives.
I wonder if they suffer from being inbred or have they learned their stupidity.
As a Kentuckian, I am aghast! We just can’t catch a break; first (and for years) there was Al Capp; then The Creation “Museum;” now paranormal clergy. I wish I could explain it as a natural result of Kentucky being the state having two million people but only 9 last names, but that just isn’t true — we have at least 15 surnames.
— Frank (a Louisville atheist and skeptic of the claims of the paranormal)
One of the popular assertions making the rounds in apologetics circles these days is that the practice and philosophy of modern science came right out of the philosophy and attitude of the Catholic Church, and that only Christianity could lay the foundations for the assumptions of regularity and change in nature that the pursuit of science requires. There have been several recent books to this effect, and I think D’Souza uses this one.
I’m always tempted to bring up their “science-y” demon possession crap. Now this IS a properly unique form of “Catholic science.” One could I suppose also include “confirming” miracles. You have to be Catholic to do that “type” of science. Scientists who also happen to be Catholic don’t count for examples of Catholic science.
There really is no clear division between the paranormal, and the supernatural. It’s just different versions of the same thing — dualism and mind powers. I just finished rereading Nicholas Humphrey’s excellent Leaps of Faith: Science, Miracles, and the Search for Supernatural Consolation. I think it’s excellent — I must, considering all the good stuff I haven’t read yet, sitting on my shelves, and yet I grabbed that one again.
Maybe I meant attic and not attack. Who knows though, squirrels can really mess you up.
“But I must agree with the D&D line of reasoning here. …what I see are an aging group of fantasy gamers who got religion and dove headfirst off the reality board into the fantasy pool…”
Actually, I see them as gamers who have switched games. They give lip service, and act with gravitas, but don’t believe it any more than a dedicated D&D player believes in elves and dwarves.
Probably not a bad way to spend a life.
re: noisy walls
A few years ago I had some insulation blown in the walls, and when one of the plugs fell out later, some starlings took advantage and set up nestkeeping. I only realized this when the scratching and peeping started, so I let them fledge and depart before replacing the plug and solving the spooky noise.
They have to be totally legit. On their home page the say “(W)e … offer a scientific method to our investigations…”
Well the present RC top doggy incumbent is inquisitor in chief of the inquisition..nice work if ya can get it…Methought that historically they were front line storm troopers battling against demons and the like…before Dean and Sam took over that is!…therefore makes some kind of twisted logic fathomable by the truly warped…all I can say is…
‘so who ya gonna call!’
The “Archbishop” in charge of these guys hosts a demonology class about once a month out in Bardstown. I don’t think I have any choice but to go…
He does look like just about every person I’ve ever played AD&D with http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75GeIQGl3Tg&feature=related
Bring forth the holy handgrenade of Antioch and the chainmail of the dead +3, I feel an excorcism brewing.
Intrigued as to wether they genuinly believe this or if it’s a con. The smart money (as always) is on it being a con.
Apparently you have to have an ugly, badly done website.
Never attribute to malice what can be equally attributed to stupidity.
Check out their “clergy members”. They look like rejected extras from the movie Superbad.
“God” have mercy on my poor state.
The assistant “pastor” is involved in “work” at the old Waverly Hills Sanatorium (a deserted TB hospital in sourthern Jefferson County). That place is like Mecca for the paranormal fringe in the Louisville area.
This could be amusing…
The title of the homepage is “Blank” – that’s telling.
He does and he uses it debates as a cudgel.
Oooooh, do I need special GM permission to start a demonic character like an Khyton, or do I have to play a boring old Tiefling? How about a Tiefling/Half-Red-Dragon hybrid so I can have those nice wings and breath fire?
I’ll leave class selection until the party of rascal demons is formed so we can launch a raid on their lair in search of treasure and xp.
Mhmm, should we play with the atheist rules where atheist are immune to divine magic? Theoretically since the divine magic in pretend land has a measurable effect it can be considered part of the natural world in pretend land. I mean it’s right there in the rule book, Cure Light Wounds heals 1d8+X damage, it’s as quantifiable as HP!
Ooohh, I know, red-headed Tiefling cleric to Sune, that would make their heads explode since Sune is practically Goddess of Harlots.
…darn, this is too easy.
Digging around on the Afterdark site, I notice that in addition to Archbishop What’s-His-Name and his henchmen, they also keep one Shaman Windwalker on tap to help fight the monsters.
Excuse me while I smite them with this foam rubber sword, whilst chanting the magic incantation “Double damage! Double damage!”
Apparently Archbishop James Long is a certified D. Min.
http://www.universalcatholic.com/universalcatholic/Home_files/shapeimage_2.png
California gets Buffy, Kentucky gets Archbishop James Long.
Well I know where I’ll be buying my hext demon haunted property.
I’ve got to give it to them though. They come up with cool names. Like this racist MF David Duke. He was the Grand Wizard of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. I guess it shows these guys can always enrich their fantasies with more delusions. I can help them too by the way, using their own site:
Our founder and President of the Institute is Archbishop James Long. Archbishop attended the Roman Catholic Seminary and he began to
study Demonology on an informal basis while attending the seminary. He was ordained a Deacon, Priest,
and consecrated a Bishop within the Old Catholic Church. His favorite weapon is blue lightsaber and often uses force sermon to confuse and lull his opponents.
Father David Price is the Assistant Pastor for Saint Christopher Old
Catholic Church in Louisville, KY. Fr. David also performs home
blessings and assists the Archbishop in exorcisms. His an effective support class, capable of casting heal, greater heal and greater group heal. He’s a valuable party member who provides +2 spell res. to all the member within a 3m radius.
Well everyone on the cable teevee calls Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindhal a new rising Republican star and besides being a cool new person off color, he is famous for being an exorcist too.
Don’t miss their “Investigators” page. A bunch of more than ordinary people. Two of them are obviously a couple, as their pictures are taken in the same place and really look like holiday snapshots.
Is the fact that they “work closely with Afterdark Paranormal Investigators” supposed to be reassuring?
And they are Old Catholics. It owuld be interesting to know ecatly what distinguishes those from the other Catholics. They seem to have a bigger taste for exorcism…
By the way, I just saw the German movie “Requiem” (2005, I think), about the true story of a young girl, raised in an extremeny devout family, who experiences strange crises when she begins studying at the university of Tübingen. Priests take the matter in their hands (at her own request, it must be said) and the exorcisms begin. After a dozen sessions, she dies. Rather depressing story.
Joking apart this is seriously sick ju ju fibbs!
I feel sorry…but not overly…for the brain dead fucktards that buy and lap up this crap… without whom none of this would be possible etc etc.
A good grounding in D&D is cheaper more fun and 2X20D+7 more effective…ya got demons smite ’em ya self…assume cleric 16th level with necromancer abilities…now’t can touch ya…you are immune from all dungeon dimension incursions…we are talking deity level here… simple like so!
Louisville is a mixed bag. On the one hand, it’s a very livable city, large enough to have some of the big-city amenities: a full-time orchestra (hanging in there so far, at least), decent regional ballet and opera, first-rate regional theater (Actors Theater of Louisville, which has a new American plays festival every spring that premiered Pulitzer Prize winners Dinner with Friends, The Gin Game and Crimes of the Heart), collegiate sports, and great restaurants. There is important medical research being done, and health care is very good (at least if you have insurance). There are interesting visual arts, including some terrific glass and fiber artists, an alternative music scene (My Morning Jacket and up-and-coming cellist/singer/songwriter Ben Sollee) and great public parks and libraries. The cost of living is moderate and there is a lot of cool architecture, including the country’s largest extant Victorian neighborhood and a host of downtown buildings with the original cast iron facades. Louisville pretty consistently votes Democratic.
On the other hand you have the Paranormal Clergy Institute, Southeast Christian Church (www.southeastchristian.org/) and Dr. Frank Simon.
Atheist characters can’t use magic spells or religious iconography, but there are some unique powers.
Occam’s Razor… One of the deadliest weapons against mythical charges
Cold Logic pierces any magical armor
Derisive Snort defends against biblical attacks
And when you achieve deity-level atheism…
“Silliness Ignore! Silliness Ignore!”
Would we have all the cool imaginary creatures for use in D&D without the superstitious “kooks” you folks so love to mock? If not for people believing in angels and demons what would drive our imaginations to create such things?
Do they know any hot succubi? Just curious.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_demonology
The scariest part about this is how many people actually believe in this shit.
Speaking from personal experience, my parents once called in a priest to exorcise me (seriously). I was just laughing my ass off at the guy. The more I laughed, the more freaked out they got and the more convinced that I was possessed by demons. Ah, those were the days ;-)
what would drive our imaginations to create such things?
the overwhelming and crushing supremacy of nature perhaps.
the conscious or subconscious(in the case of theists) knowledge that we are nothing in the cosmic scheme of things.
Sastra (#44):
This argument has always puzzled me. I mean, you’ve got a giant genetic fallacy staring you in the face: books printed by movable type were a great innovation which helped spread knowledge and advance the scientific enterprise, but we don’t insist that everyone sticks with the technology of Caxton and Gutenberg. Even granting that Christianity was somehow more beneficial to science than all the other belief systems propounded at the time — and that’s a lot to grant — what does that imply about Christianity now?
On top of that, what history books have these people been reading?
1. Greek science — hampered perhaps by underappreciation of the experimental method and, many have argued, by a slave society, but certainly aware of regularity in Nature, and certainly pre-Christian. (Considering the Tunnel of Samos and the Antikythera mechanism, I sometimes wonder if the impression we’ve received of “impractical” Greeks hasn’t been a little exaggerated.)
2. Islamic science — for hundreds of years, they were certainly better than the Christians of the time. D’Souza, meet Alhacen.
3. Chinese science — hampered again, perhaps, by social factors (massively bureaucratized society, preference for isolation over expansionism, or what-have-you) but certainly quite accomplished in its day.
4. Wasn’t a significant amount of early Christian philosophy influenced by Neoplatonism, anyway?
‘Would we have all the cool imaginary creatures for use in D&D without the superstitious “kooks” you folks so love to mock? If not for people believing in angels and demons what would drive our imaginations to create such things?’
Oh hell yes…these critters were ancient when Jeebus was knee high to a goblin…
They used to haunt the likes of ‘Lucy’ when she was doing the savannah shuffle…these things are known…where do ya think superstition and religion comes from…
We do not mock we just despair…these idiots are seriously mentally challenged…
Anyone watch Paranormal State??? It’s hysterical. The psychics and investigators are such goofballs… the people who ask for their help-borderline insanity. The sad thing is their kids gets get sucked into it too.
I would love for someone to punk that show.
For want of an s an apostrophe was lost…
Yeah, they are the types who’d use that abominable grocer’s apostrophe, aren’t they? My friend Bob has a few things to say about that…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Catholic_Church
I think all the orbs in the pictures are the result of the investigators casting Magic Missle at the darkness.
Does anyone have any Mountain Dew?
I loved this quote under “Demonology”:
“Many people have claimed to have seen dark shadowy figures but this can also be human entities as well”. Only the Shadow knows. Yes, those human entities do have a tendency to cause shadows, especially when there’s a light source present. Evil, I tell ya.
I learned all I need to know about demons from Dick Cheney. They truly do walk among us (or at least ride around in armored SUVs).
Thanks for answering my question. I do wonder how a skeptic would react if they ever experienced “paranormal” phenomenon. Would they just caulk it up to having a hallucination or an overactive imagination? If there really are things that go bump in the night, how would you account for them?
Gotta be a con.
With that said, I liked this:
“Paranormal Activiy usually begins when prayers are said”
No wonder I never have any paranormal activity in my house. We haven’t said a prayer in this house in years.
“Doc, it hurts when I do this.” “Then don’t do that.”
At least “The Vatican claims Darwin’s theory of evolution is compatible with Christianity”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/religion/4588289/The-Vatican-claims-Darwins-theory-of-evolution-is-compatible-with-Christianity.html
‘If there really are things that go bump in the night, how would you account for them?’
You answered your own question there…’IF’ does not mean ‘there ARE’…but superstitious imagination and an unfortunate disposition to believe bollarks fools folks…and that is what these priestly cretins trade on!
Some of us left the caves a few millenia ago and travelled by the light of reason…that sustained us until the dawn of science illuminated our world forever…about time everyone comes out…leave the clerics to play D&D…they are only 1st level wannabees…they are just demon fodder!
Besides…’There are fouler things than ‘bumps’ in the deep places of the world’…like religion.
I do wonder how a skeptic would react if they ever experienced “paranormal” phenomenon. Would they just caulk it up to having a hallucination or an overactive imagination? If there really are things that go bump in the night, how would you account for them?
Well, it’s a funny thing, ennit? Mostly, we don’t.
Speaking generally, when a single event occurs that his hard to explain, ordinary psychology is a better explanation than appeal to the unknown, yes. But if such an event were to recur with some regularity and was intersubjectively agreed to be difficult to explain, then we would attempt to use empirical methodolgy to account for it, just like anything else. It’s really not an issue, because supposed paranormal phenomena, to date, simply have not risen to even the most basic level of intersubjective comparison. Maybe, to ghosts and demons, skeptics are the things that go bump in the night?
Thoughtful Guy @ 84
Well let’s say that I have the ability to do some sort of magic on demand, like creating an orb of violet/magenta plasma that lasts for minutes and moves where ever I direct it.
In the case of actually being able to do it, scientific observations and measurements can be made, like looking for absorption/emission spectra to determine elemental composition, temperature readings to not only determine the nature of the glowing ball of plasma, but determine what is sustaining it. Advanced machinery? Illusion/trick? Some sort of adaptation of electric charge generating organs in eels and catfish?
If I could take it into a physics lab and produce it on demand for testing, then it is part of the natural physical world and science can eventually figure out what’s going on.
On the other hand if all I have is an assertion that it’s true and shaky video, then rightly no one should take me seriously.
History Channel’s Monster Quest did an episode on ‘Rods’ and as soon as it was mentioned they could only be seen in pictures and video and not by the naked eye I already had a guess as to the cause. Sure enough, by the end, they show that it’s just a camera artifact due to a very close moth or bird flying relatively fast against the picture frame. It’s the only Monster Quest I ever watched, but it’s a great primer on skepticism, not to mention this month’s Popular Mechanics cover story taking apart UFO sightings.
For those curious, Popular Mechanics covers experimental aircraft(including a blimp I didn’t know about), advances in flare technology, and even gives a map of military airspaces and refueling flight paths.
I also like the quote from the guy in Texas, “I just want the Air Force to say it’s them, hell, if they’d tell us ahead of time we’d get out our lawn chairs and watch the light show.”
MISSION STATEMENT: We are on the threshold of establishing the indispensable defense science of the next decade. Professional paranormal investigations and eliminations. …
‘At least “The Vatican claims Darwin’s theory of evolution is compatible with Christianity”‘
Don’t believe a word of it…there are ructions back stage!
Benny & Opus Dei on one side and moderate bunnies on the other!
We shall see…If Benny makes a statement similar to JP2 that ‘Evolutionary theory is more then a Hypothesis’…then I will concede the position…but methinks that is not on the cards…one iota…as the Vatican chief astronomer found out to his own cost!
Amazing what can be accomplished by leaving exactly the right typo-laden incantation on a very special website.
http://www.prayabout.com/requests/44912/PRAY-FOR-MY
Ghostbusters! You actually have them!
I’d be proud.
Now I can’t get the Ghostbuster’s theme ouf of my head.
Hey, on their website it says that “Paranormal Activiy usually begins when prayers are said”.
I guess that explains why I never encoutered any paranormal phenomenon : I don’t pray! :P
Demonic presence in your house? Don’t pray and it won’t bother you!
Having spent some time there, I can assure you that it’s not primarily that Kentucky *attracts* the crazies; the bluegrass state breeds, nurtures, and distills the crazy locally. If crazies from other, foreign places — like Ohio — are attracted by all that, that’s purely a secondary effect.
Antony K @ 25
Pah! I can go one better – I have solved the abiogensis problem – moths come out of mine.
ev @ 28
You mean that they do cleaning? Great! I’ll call them up. I knew it was demons that made my flat untidy, and not me leaving shit everywhere…
Thoughtful Guy #84 wrote:
This subject has come up before. Some of the regular commenters have had some unusual experiences, as I recall.
It depends very much on what the “paranormal phenomenon” is, and the conditions under which it was observed or experienced. Secular humanists tend to be very sensitive to the many ways we humans can deceive ourselves, and how unreliable we are — our senses, our memories, our interpretations. If we can think of possible explanations which involve mistakes on our part, then yes, we’d probably assume that it’s more likely that we’ve made an error, than that all the scientists have completely ignored some amazing new form of energy, or left some realm of reality out of their models.
“I don’t know” is a very viable option, and sadly neglected.
But what if it’s real, and our caution and self-doubt means that we miss it? Short answer: too bad. Method, method, method. If we reject low-quality personal testimony from other people, but change the rules and swallow it as credible when it comes to our own personal testimony, that’s not just inconsistent — it’s unethical. Bottom line, anything that is supposed to be “all around us all the time” should eventually be caught using objective methods.
Once they’re open to objective testing, now we’re talking a different ball game.
My own experience is that people who are eager to believe in the paranormal tend to have a pretty low threshold on what constitutes a coincidence “too amazing” to simply be chance, or an experience which “can’t be explained naturally.” They also believe that the certainty of their conviction counts for, and not against, its truth.
My dad thinks that hearing a radio station play a song by someone “we were all just talking about” is the sort of thing that should trip my “There’s Something Out There” meter. I’m just too skeptical, and thus don’t see all those signs.
Is Kentucky the next Florida?
CJO
LOL!
@#42
Holy horse-shoes and hand grenades!
Frank Lovell!
We used to escort together for RCAR back in the early 90s. Andrea and I (Stewart) are in Philly now, but it’s good to see that you’re still fighting the good fight for godlessness in the Derby city. I’ll never forget you standing there cool as a cucumber trying to reason with that strapping Indiana bible-thumper-in-overalls while he literally frothed at the mouth. As brave a thing as I’ve ever seen. That was the first time Andrea really understood what the term “bible-thumper” means.
Hope all is still well with you and yours.
Sastra people who are eager to believe in the paranormal tend to have a pretty low threshold on what constitutes a coincidence “too amazing” to simply be chance
Reminds me of the piece Michael Shermer wrote in SciAm (can’t find it now) about coincidence and confirmation bias.
Most people do have a really poor grasp of probability. Chances are more than three hundred ‘one in a million’ events are happening every day just in North America!
Confirmation bias makes many of those events seem miraculous to someone.
e.g. I buy a lottery ticket every day, and every day I pray to Jesus. Today I won! Praise the lord! Jesus wanted me to win today! response – so he didn’t want you to win those other thousands of times?
sheesh!
Actually, I love to have these doofuses over for a “cleansing” if only to hide some major audio speakers and play back some basso profundo growling “GET OUT!!!”
This got me thinking; if someone were to rig their house with all sorts of illusion apparatus to produce poltergeist-like effects and then called in the Paranormal Clergy
shitestersscheisters, how would these Men Of God™ react? They obviously know telekinesis, demons and ghosts don’t really exist, so when confronted with actual objects moving and unexplainable noises, would they investigate for material/natural causes? If so, why? Of course we already know the answer to that.“All are welcome regardless of age, gender, race, marital or family
status, sexual orientation, economic or social status, and/or disability.”
nicer than the sodding proddies at least…
‘if only to hide some major audio speakers and play back some basso profundo growling “GET OUT!!!”‘
You might as well go for gold with a guttural….
“Ya mutha Sucks C***S in hell”
They would be out that door and down that path genuflecting fit ta rapture…and their shaking for a week would convince them of a change in calling or at the very least have them on their knees begging god to forgive them for fleecing all their other previous marks…Guaranteed!
I don’t know, most Protestant denominations, that aren’t fundamentalists, are very open.
But for these buffoons, it’s all about the donations. *wink wink*
Cash has no ideology and it all spends the same regardless of the previous caretaker’s religion. The Israelis acknowledge this when they see the loads of christian proselytizers get off the plane at Tel Aviv. It’s what I do when I accept money from people I find ethically repugnant (liars for Jebus). At least the work I provide is morally and ethically sound.
Yeah, very amusing. Just don’t forget what the religious really mean by ‘demon’ or ‘exorcism’.
Check out http://religiousabuse.blogspot.com/
Wrong link, sorry. Try
http://religiouschildabuse.blogspot.com
http://www.aetv.com/paranormal-state/
Doesn’t help when A&E is airing this weekly.
So I went to their investigators page, and looked at the pics of their 11 investigators. Some where inhumanly thin. Some were inhumanly fat. Definitely something paranormal going on …
Then I looked at the source html and realized their web designer gotten the aspect ratio wrong on nearly every picture. What a talented moron.
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Hey Doc Bill #110, are you trying to rip people off? As YoUx #94 has already noted “Paranormal Activity usually begins when prayers are said”. So everyone save your money and just DON’T PRAY. :-)
I worry for PZ though as “Religious articles are destroyed or they may completely disappear….”
Drat! Morphed again!
*Looks through site*
Whaddaya mean I don’t get a Proton Pack!?
Of course there was that one time I came home and my carpet tried to trip me up, my reading lamp was all spinning round and my tv was showing ann coulter, even though it wasn’t even on!
Yes. I had demonic posessions.
Stewart (STwriley) wrote:
“Holy horse-shoes and hand grenades!
Frank Lovell!
We used to escort together for RCAR back in the early 90s. Andrea and I (Stewart) are in Philly now, but it’s good to see that you’re still fighting the good fight for godlessness in the Derby city. I’ll never forget you standing there cool as a cucumber trying to reason with that strapping Indiana bible-thumper-in-overalls while he literally frothed at the mouth. As brave a thing as I’ve ever seen. That was the first time Andrea really understood what the term “bible-thumper” means.
Hope all is still well with you and yours.”
Howdy Stewart! Yes, those were the good ol’ daze, especially agitating Frank Simon (another of Kentucky’s great embarrassments) across the barricades every Saturday AM at the Women’s Clinic (104 consecutive Saturdays for me, to be exact). Me and mine are doin’ well, I’m still creationist-watching and hassling funnymentalists of every stripe every chance I get here in Derby City. I trust that you and Andrea are doing well, too! Watch your back there in Philly!
— Frank
*sigh* Pharyngula is just magical sometimes, isn’t it?
Christophe Till @ #67
>… I just saw the German movie “Requiem” (2005, I think), about the true story of a young girl, raised in an extremeny devout family, who experiences strange crises when she begins studying at the university of Tübingen. Priests take the matter in their hands (at her own request, it must be said) and the exorcisms begin. After a dozen sessions, she dies. Rather depressing story.
But not as depressing as the fact that the SAME story was then retold in Hollywood to support the idea that she was indeed demonically possessed. They called it “The Exorcism of Emily Rose”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Exorcism_of_Emily_Rose
I knew some Old Catholic bishops in Chicago in the 70s. They were all nuts. One ran a scam on elderly catholics in nursing homes. Another wanted to be an archbishop so he hired a transvestite hitman/woman to kill the sitting archbishop. They were both convicted of murder.
I have had several experiences with things that seemed inexplicable and creepy. But luckily, I don’t put 100% confidence in my own senses without other people to verify what I have seen. On a number of occasions, things I was dreaming about seemed to still be there as I woke up. This is normally terrifying, and made even more so by the fact that I cant move when I first see them.To many people, that is good enough, and they would declare it a paranormal experience. However, having a brain, I can read about sleep physiology, discovering that paralysis of the muscles is a natural part of REM sleep, and I can also keep my wits about me and observe the phenomena more closely.
Sure enough, the next few times it happened, I realized that the creepy visions slowly resolved themselves into objects in my room with a passing resemblance to them. Mystery solved. Your brain can do some pretty weird stuff, so I certainly don’t trust my own experience over the knowledge I have accumulated about the world for the rest of my life.
But other people I have met foolishly try to make more of these things than is possible. I had one person actually suggest to me that I was receiving a prophecy…
Is the world weird? Yes. Are there reality based explanations for the weirdness? Yes.
Try Woodford Reserve if you are in the market for some good Kentucky bourbon. My personal favorite, although I cannot seem to find it in this neck of the woods.
Notkieran | February 11, 2009 10:20 PM
But not as depressing as the fact that the SAME story was then retold in Hollywood to support the idea that she was indeed demonically possessed. They called it “The Exorcism of Emily Rose”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Exorcism_of_Emily_Rose
Indeed Hollywood is full of shit.
I am ashamedly from Kentucky as well. Not only do we attract crazies, but disability seekers and dope users. We even have a dubious honor given us by the American Dental Association: “fewest teeth per capita.” Add snake handlers, holy rollers and celebrated ignorance and you have the intellectual cesspool of this country. God damn I’m embarrassed.
Woodford is nice. So is Basil Hayden. Elijah Craig and Four Roses are also good. If anyone is ever in Carrol Gardens in Brooklyn go to Char No. 4 on Smith St. It’s a haven for whiskey/whisky lovers. The food is outstanding too.
http://nymag.com/listings/restaurant/char-no-4/
This is the mother of all bourbons
Pappy Rip Van Winkle 23 year old Family Reserve
If you can find some, get it. It’s not cheap.
pardon me, I mean … It ain’t cheap.
Just shows how religion makes one foolish and funny at the same time.