Even after sending out a prayer alert to summon down divine favor for the Florida academic “freedom” bills, the effort to reconcile the two versions and pass something has stalled out in the legislature. They’ve only got two days to get it together! It could die!
It is time to pull out the big guns. The Republican sponsors, the Disco Institute lobbyists, and the creationist supporters of this bill need to immediately embark on a two-day prayer retreat. Just go off to some isolated place, and pray and fast non-stop. It’s the right thing to do.
Feeling frisky today PZ?
Damn! I just saw this and sent you an email PZ. Funny thing though, Wells is actually piping up. I thought the DI types were silent players for the most part. The best part is that Wells is piiiisssssed
A prayer for the Creationists.
Only TWO-days of prayer retreat? No, no. That would be weak faith. These people should spend at least a few years in non-stop prayer.
(It’s funny that they should agree that this would bring about a vast amount of good.)
Yes, let them pray, and we’ll do the inconsequential material things, like vote.
Funny how materialistic they are whenever their materialistic observations reveal the effectiveness of material measures that “threaten” the “God” who is supposed to control all matter. Come on, have faith that God will see your “Godly bills” through.
By the way, we, too, should remember that this is a far more important for us to be concerned about than some useless day of prayer. The religionists are right about that, and abandon prayer when real events matter.
Glen Davidson
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
Somewhat off topic (although still concerning hardcore Christians), PZ has an entry at Conservapedia! It’s new to me, and much more restrained than I would’ve thought. And also, check out the Essay on the Adultress Story ; a conservative Christian argument for editing `let he who is without sin, throw the first stone’ out of the Bible.
I think I posted this last time the National Day of Futility rolled around, but here it is again. It’s from an article on Mickey Weinstein.
Touche, but a good solid year of prayer, separated from science and undiluted by the affairs of men, is really what’s needed. Any less and we come dangerously close to making the trifling tedium of the material world into a false idol. We cannot stand by while the world flirts with this dangerous equivocation.
I hear the desert is wonderful this time of year.
Oh Great Flying Spaghetti Monster,
Please touch the Florida legislators with your noodlely appendage so that they may be mired in rague and their hands become slippery with your sauce so that they may drop the Academic Freedom bill before the deadline.
Ramen
That’s pretty fuckin’ specific. Has God decided to ignore famine throughout the world but instead intervene in procedural matters of a state legislature? Mysterious ways indeed.
ThirdMonkey, you have made my day. Brilliant.
Oops, yes, I am sorry, ‘Ramen’!
I’m worried about Florida. Unless this creationism stuff passes, I fear their state will be smitten by hurricanes, thus vindicating the beliefs of Ronda Storms and Al Gore at the same time.
The desert is a good idea. But I think they should be closer to the promised land. Baghdad would work fine. And no sense spending anything extra for security; They can use their mighty prayer shields to keep them safe. God bless.
PS: Maybe they can challenge the local leaders to a “bow off.”
Gotta say, PZ knows how to make a national day of prayer fun. Keep ’em coming!
Uh, it’s pretty clear from the evidence that God (like Dubya) doesn’t care about black people, even though so many Africans and African-Americans love him so (as evinced by all the mad props he gets at the Brit Awards.)
Or ideally, the really serious, prominent creationists could fast a really long time…
Perhaps just talking to their deity is not quite enough. What about a National Day of Animal Sacrifice, or something. Maybe that carries a little more weight.
Remember, TODAY is May Day. A historical reminder, or rather two.
I’m a Floridian. It makes me cringe in embarresment when I read what my legistlature has been trying to pass the last couple of years. It’s as if we are trying to wrest the stupid state award from some more deserving state, then I remember, we are the home of Kathleen Harris. We have Cape Kennedy, Scripps, Max Plank Inst., numerious high tech companies and (apparently) boundless stupidity.
Shame on you, PZ! People’s religion should be respected!
Oh, lovely Athena, goddess of wisdom heed this humble prayer – please strike these law makers skulls with your mighty sword of knowledge. In your honor Athena, I will drink a glass of sangria and sacrifice the limes.
They ask for wisdom after all. Hail Athena!
It occurs to me that maybe they’re doing it wrong.
Maybe all prayers have to be in the form of a limerick to work. I’m terrible at limericks, and none of my prayers ever produce results.
Hmmm. That must be it.
“There once was a legislature in Florida,
That…”
See? Now I’m stuck. I don’t know what the next line should be. Most people are bad at limericks, which has to explain why prayers aren’t answered.
“An NBA team in Oakand,
That tried to…”
Shit. Stuck again.
Warriors didn’t make the playoffs.
I think I’m on to something here.
Let’s hope that they fast for a very, very long period of time. Prayer provides all the nutrients they need anyway, no?
I have changed my mind about prayer. I now believe that we should encourage these people to pray more often — because prayer time takes away from their screwing things up time!
Just like Bring It On?! Awesome!
Hey hey! Ho ho!
We got robes ‘n’ crosses and we’re ready to go!
Ho ho! Hey hey!
RCAB’s gonna make you pray!
Don’t beg us; don’t say please,
We ain’t afraid to get on our knees!
You’d better show the Father respect,
Make the sign o’ the cross and genuflect!
Your Muslim prophets just ain’t true,
So kiss the floor and we’ll shove the Spirit in you!
Hey hey! Ho ho!
Snuff out them candles and get ready to blow!
Ho ho! Hey hey!
We love anal sex but we ain’t gay!
Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o RomanCatholicArchdioceseofBoston!
By the way, I hate to bring this up, but that David Mabus character is genuinely scary. This is one of those instances where I think you might actually want to show these messages to the FBI. You can collect IP addresses, correct?
I am very, very surprised you haven’t disemvoweled him yet.
He thinks he’s owed $1M. He seriously does. I’m not sure he’ll stop short of anything to collect.
Seriously, watch out for this guy.
The best retreat area for the FL Creationists and the DI are in downtown Bagdad, or Faluja. “Allah Sucks” in Arabic as a bumper sticker on the car would also be a good idea.
Well, it seems that it is about time to pull out the dusty old Book of Shadows, a few essential oils, the herbs and spices, and the mortar and pestle. I would rather cast spells than pray. One doesn’t appear any more ridiculous than the other and spells don’t have to be approved by the goddesses first. Just a little jinx or two for fun perhaps?
On a serious note:
What can the average Northerner do to stop this bill, and any others?
Email addresses?
Fred @29,
Here is the contact info for the Florida Senate:
http://www.flsenate.gov/Welcome/index.cfm?CFID=68273685&CFTOKEN=86020029
Keep in mind that Sen. Storms and Sen. Wise are the co-sponsors of a similar antievolution bill in the Senate.
Here ya go, MikeM:
There once was a legislature in Florida,
Whose bills became horrida and horrida.
They called out in prayer,
Hoping some god would care,
But their sound never left the corrida.
T. Bruce McNeely, I believe you’ve just put yourself in line for a Molly! Classic!
Seen Jonathan Wells’ response to this yet? He’s outraged, and in typical paranoiac fashion has now turned to a conspiracy theory. He thinks that Florida House Republicans are intentionally sabotaging the DI’s bill.
Great stuff; it was originally posted in “Evolution News and Views,” and I’ve reproduced it on Hyphoid Logic, too. You never know when those pesky Revisionists will try to cram something up their memory holes, y’know?
Screw prayer. there’s no way that god will pass this bill unless those faithful at the Disco Institute flay themselves raw.
I mean come on. show god you really mean it.
#32 Well, they believe in the Big Science and Big Media conspiracies, so the paranoia goes down deep! Thanks for posting it.
Oops… sorry for the error. The comment on the stalling of Florida’s Neocreationism bill was made by John West, not Jonathan Wells.
They all start looking alike after awhile…
I once had a devout Israeli Jewish co-worker tell me a joke. It goes like this: How do you make god laugh? Tell him all about your plans. This person knew I was atheist but they were very open with me. I thought it was a pretty good joke. It captures the essence of discussing matters with a deity – arrogance. Of course, there’s also the matter that the deity is purely imaginary. I don’t know which is worse, or funnier.
In a wonderful little tome titled “The Atheist’s Bible”, edited by Joan Konner there is this delicious tidbit:
“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized the Lord doesn’t work that way.
So I stole one and asked Him for forgiveness.”
-Emo Philips
Brownian #25
Very nice. I pictured it like WWF style. “Let’s get ready to BEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
#6
Holy Fucking Christ! Please tell me this Conservapedia is a joke! The “Trustworthy Encyclopedia”!?! Are you freaking kidding me?
Conservapedia Commandment #4:
Yeah. There’s no bias going on there.
Check out the Article of the Month: http://www.conservapedia.com/Atheism
Now I see where all of the creobots are getting their crap.
I also love the threats:
Hey, PZ? Do minors under 16 years old use this site? Is posting an obscenity here punishable by up to 10 years in jail?
What about the people in the Dungeon, did you report them to their employers?
re: T. Bruce McNeeley (#31)
Hmmm… the meter needs a bit of work… let’s try this:
Some legislators down in Florida,
Wrote some bills horrid and horrida.
They called out in prayer,
In hopes God would care,
(But) Not one single word left the corrida.
Better?
They are still in session – flippin’ 7:40pm – when will it end? Aarrgghh!
I find the conservipedia article arguing that the essay on the adulteress was added/edited quite interesting. What happened to the claim that the Bible was the “inerrant Word of God?” How can it possibly be edited if you claim that the book came straight from God Himself? If you claim that parts of it were edited, then all of it could be edited, all of it could be complete crap!!! Do you really want to go down that slippery slope Conservative Christians???
’cause really, if they do, I know many of us here would be happy to point out other passages that seem to be a bit “iffy.” ;o)
Sounds to me there is a disconnect between Rep. Alan Hays and Sen. Ronda Storms, which is difficult to fathom. They’re both fundie Baptists, believing in the literal truth of the Bible, which means the woman is supposed to submit gracefully to the man. So, c’mon, Senator Storms: roll over like a good Christian woman should!
And may I suggest for next year’s National Day of Prayer that it be called Pray Hard 2: Pray Harder.
And now to post this in the correct thread…
The fundwits are having no luck,
Their bill in the House is now stuck,
In the hope that God cares,
They flood him with prayers,
But apparently He gives not a f… air hearing.
K. Signal Eingang:
“Gotta say, PZ knows how to make a national day of prayer fun. Keep ’em coming!”
Yes, he’s done a wonderful thing. Thanks, PZ!
The DISCO Institute? What sort of hustle are they running?
9:44 pm … Still in session … falling asleep … ugh!
Thank you for that image, Upright Alice:
“If my thought dreams could be seen,
They might put my head in a guillotine”
– Bob Dylan
Florida… where Democrats design a ballot… then blame Republicans for people’s inability to figure it out…
#40 ThirdMonkey quoted Truth from conservapedia —
OTOH, the wikipedia article on BCE/CE is very interesting. It’s actually a rather old term — dating back at least as far as the 17th century, in use by *Christian* no less (take that, conservapedia!) — and can stand for, alternatively, Common Era, Christian Era, or Current Era. (This may be common knowledge [ha, ha] to most, but I had only ever heard it as Common Era.)
The things you learn by reading a website with the “arbitrary and biased enforcement that is rampant on Wikipedia”! You’d almost think the conservapedia folk are the biased ones….
#40 ThirdMonkey quoted Truth from conservapedia —
OTOH, the wikipedia article on BCE/CE is very interesting. It’s actually a rather old term — dating back at least as far as the 17th century, in use by *Christian* no less (take that, conservapedia!) — and can stand for, alternatively, Common Era, Christian Era, or Current Era. (This may be common knowledge [ha, ha] to most, but I had only ever heard it as Common Era.)
The things you learn by reading a website with the “arbitrary and biased enforcement that is rampant on Wikipedia”! You’d almost think the conservapedia folk are the biased ones….
Of all the quote-mining of PZ that Conservapaedia could do, they chose this one? “In science, we scream a lot.” Jeez, they can’t do anything right.
FL House about to go to bed for the night … me too … (good thing because they seem to be passing everything right now , everyone is ready for bed)
More tomorrow!( 10:54 pm ) night night
I just thank god I am an atheist.
Contributing to the Limerick-o-Rama:
——————————–
Equal time for Jesus, Hays prays;
And Congress is at it for days.
Hard to believe these tools
Are in charge of our schools.
Hays needs less prayer ‘n more lays.
——————————–
PZ has an entry at conservapedia
uh huh.
check this:
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2007/02/conservapedia_has_a_friend.php
Yeah here it is on conservapedia. One of the sources they use is from the Disco Institute. I love conservapedia, it’s such a hoot.
My limerick contribution:
You can say I deny and project,
And you might even dare to object
When I claim, “You’re amoral!”
Just to start a quarrel —
But then I will scream “Disrespect!”
There once was a legislature in Florida,
with collective cupidity behind quota.
So each house proposed bills,
backed by IDiiot shills.
(they prayed and pshawed,
while the whole world guffawed)
The sunshine state’s congress IS stupid, duh!
Why just two days, PZ? Why can’t they go on a prayer retreat and just stay there…like…y’know…forever?
The bill died!!! Yay! Florida!!!