Abel Pharmboy had an awesome idea: he liveblogged his vasectomy. Now that is a true blogger.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Abel Pharmboy had an awesome idea: he liveblogged his vasectomy. Now that is a true blogger.
*owww*
Yet again, I’m grateful for being gay. No threat of pregnancy, no snip snip.
Actually, the first couple of days are full of wonderful prescriptions, bed rest, and sympathy. It’s once one is expected to be upright for any length of time that the pain begins.
And yes, it feels like a knee to the groin for about a week, with intermittant relief due to the aformentioned drugs.
Still nothing like an inpatient surgery, though. Man up, guys.
Wow. Now that takes cojones!
Just get the gal to Essure.
Medically, I’m a big wuss. Reading that report made me feel ill. I understand what people are saying about this being better than the female alternative, I do no debate that. But it’s STILL something that frightens me severely. I almost either passed our or threw up when I once had to have a tuberculosis test administered, I glanced at the injection site and saw a TINY little drop of blood, that was enough.
Blood out of a medical context I can deal with. I can cut myself, or get slashed across the face or stomach by my cat (she doesn’t mean to do it, she wouldn’t hurt a fly, she just doesn’t fully understand that her paws are tipped with razer sharp claws) and have no issue with it. But a teeny tiny, almost microscopic drop of blood as the result of a simple medical procedure, and I’m in deep trouble. A fast acting nurse with an ice pack wrapped in water is all that saved me from a big technicolor yawn last time.
I appreciate the post, but it did nothing to convince me to consider the big snip if I were to find myself in a permanent relationship with no desire for progeny. If anything, it convinced me that I need to be OUT for such a procedure.
I had a vasectomy while in my mid twenties back in the 1970s. At the time I had to go to three doctors before I found one who would do the procedure while I was that young. It was nothing. I didn’t even put ice on it and I was running again and having sex with my wife within a week. What’s the big deal?
Mr Shrek hotfooted it off to the surgeon during the third pregnancy, far more scared of having four children than he was of any scalpel. The procedure was a snip (pun intended) but the idiot decided he was feeling so well he decided to go on one of those coroprate bullshit group wank sessions in the mountains for a week only 3 days after the op with the bank he works for. Day 4 he’s having to drive 200 klms to find a doc to look at his testicles which were painless but swollen to the size of baseballs. He reckons to this day that the female, 20 something year old newbie doctor was dead impressed by his (I quote) “impressive manhood”.
After all that it turned out to be all superfluous. Having three children under 3 is contraception in itself…sigh.
No thank you!
My wife, when informed that it would take twenty or thirty ejaculations before I could have a sample tested for effectiveness: “Until you’re medically sterile, you’re on your own.”
Luckily, my high-school training regimen finally found its importance.
I was ready in two days.
Liveblogging the V: Meh. My doc let my wife assist with mine. She snipped the right-side vas herownself.
Tissue removal pain faceoff: V-section (at 30) vs. impacted wisdom teeth extraction (at 40).
V-section: Bruising, swelling, no sex for weeks (nor much desire). The bad: Doctor critiques your shaving skills down there, initial bee-sting in the perineum (local anesthetic), still conscious throughout surgery. The good: pain-killing drugs. Downer: Seeing the “tubes” pickled in a vial.
Wisdom teeth: Bruising, swelling, no solid food for days (nor much desire). The bad: Waking up to the pain. The good: Unconscious throughout (thank you, IV Valium!), pain-killing drugs. Downer: Liquid leaking from mouth to nasal sinus, coming out your nose.
The winner: Wisdom teeth extraction (much more painful).
Might I also mention Mr Shrek insisted the required 20-30 postop emmissions would not be enough for his “supersperm”. He in fact likened them to the Japanese soldiers hiding out in the jungle post WW2 and insisted they would not all come out until “the Emperer told them to”.
I was conscious during my c-section. As I remember, despite the epidural, there were tugging and pulling sensations during that too.
See, men can take it like a woman…
Guys, don’t fret the procedure. I had one last August, and mine wasn’t anywhere near as bad as Abel’s or Roy Zimmerman’s (though, granted, Roy’s was funnier). Its aftermath required exactly one dose of an OTC analgesic. I was back on my feet in two days, and refereeing high school basketball in a week and a half, with absolutely no ill effects. And I’m a wimp. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
When the doctor says “put ice on it” he’s not kidding.
When the doctor says “put ice on it” he’s not kidding.When the doctor says “put ice on it” he’s not kidding.When the doctor says “put ice on it” he’s not kidding.When the doctor says “put ice on it” he’s not kidding.When the doctor says “put ice on it” he’s not kidding.When the doctor says “put ice on it” he’s not kidding.
I just thought that was worth repeating. When I had mine, I didn’t listen, and the next morning I had 2 big eggplants in my lap.
I had mine combined with a hernia repair (I figured if there were going to be people coming at my nether regions with knives, I may as well have it done all at once). Worked great; I got knocked out so I didn’t have to be awake for the vasectomy part, and with the recovery from the hernia I didn’t even feel any testicular pain.
Convincing the urologist that I was ready for the operation was easy. My pregnant wife and two older daughters (ages 1 and 3) came to the initial meeting. He gave us one look and said he could see why we were there.
The most humiliating part was getting tested to see if I was really sterile. The testing places were too cheap to give you a room to do your business in, so I had to do it into a pill bottle at home and hope traffic wasn’t so bad as to keep me from getting there in time (you need to get the semen tested within an hour of emission). Then I had to jump to the head of the long line of other people at the testing place and explain why I needed to give them this warm bottle of spooge right now and not wait my turn.
=ROFL= You peeps are so cracking me up!
When I decided I wanted to get my tubes tied, almost everyone I knew told me, “Tell him to go get his done.” I went and got tied and fried anyway (for reasons I posted on Abel’s blog a few minutes ago, so I won’t repeat them here), and it wasn’t that big a deal. Two days later I was heading out of town for a week. I think I took two Tylenol 3’s out of the entire prescription and saved the rest for the next time I had one of those hacking-up-a-hairball cold/flu/bronchitis things.
OK, I was sore, but getting my wisdom teeth out was a bigger deal.
@ jeh: I’m with you, man. That Valium-and-stuff IV was truly da shiznit. Whooooooeeeeeeeee! I seem to remember there was some Demerol in it too, along with another thing I’d never heard of, a very short-acting general anesthetic – Brevital or something like that? Whatever it was, it hit like a cement truck. I never saw it coming.
Well I got my vasectomy after our 2nd kid, and I didn’t like being conscious for it at all – feeling that tugging and imagining the events, yuk. He made an incision on the RH side and reached through to snip lefty before tackling the RH vas. I only got a valium beforehand and got very friendly with a bag of frozen peas afterward. As far as samples, isn’t that what a head nurse is for? (ba-dump tsss)
Now the wisdom teeth, wow. Dentists really have some good dope. He gassed me before the IV valium. After the nitrous I was thinking I wouldn’t care if anyone yanked my teeth out. He started the drip, and said count backwards from 100. I could feel it burning up my arm, and kind of remember getting to 97, then it was all over.
I haven’t read the linked story yet, but thought I’d share my experience.
After my two kids were born my wife and I decided we’d bagged our limit. If the second had been a “C-section” like the first, she’d have had her tubes tied right then, but it wasn’t so I had to step up.
The procedure was a breeze, down for a few days but not that bad. Until I got tested. Didn’t take. Oh. Shit. The doctor tells me that it has only happened one other time in his 15 or so years of practice. Lucky Me!
I was not happy, as you may well imagine. Second time was also not that bad, down for a few days and not much pain.
These days I love the expression on peoples faces when the subject comes up and I tell then that I found it to be “so much fun” I did it twice.
Cheers,
Ray
I had the “no scalpel vasectomy” after kid #2. It was a bit of a surreal experience–they did not ask me to shave, but had the hot blonde nurse do it for me. Novocaine, a small incision, and the doc used what looked like a crochet hook to go after the tubes. I went to a halloween party that evening. But did take a friend’s advice and spend the rest of the weekend on the couch, watching football, with a cold beer strategically placed to combat any post-op swelling.
Frankly, there was very little discomfort, let alone any real pain. Having witnessed both childbirths, I know full well I got the easy end of the deal.
I have considered this procedure. While I am single, I dont want to find myself in trouble, right? However, I am very uncomfortable with procedures “down there.” I have had the “pleasure” of dealing with epididymitis on TWO occasions (both while on vacation no less!). I would have welcomed death. If this procedure can mimic the discomfort I felt, no thanks……
Pee-Zed, what an honor and pleasure to awaken from my codeine-induced slumber to the gift of a PZlanche on my blog’s SiteMeter. All is well today, if not a bit tender, and I highly recommend the procedure to all men who might be considering it. It’s the very least we can do in return for our wives’ suffering (as noted by Anon #21).
Very kind of you to link, Professor. . .thanks!
I had one about two years ago. Easier than any dental procedure I’ve ever had done. I was mildly sore for two or three days, but I never had to put ice on it, and I don’t think I even bothered with the pain pills. I highly recommend it.
My wife piled me in the car and told me I was going to get tutored. Was I in for a surprise, or what?
Nah, seriously, it didn’t hurt. For all of you who are thinking about it, I remember taking it easy the next day, with ice applied appropriately, and within a week, the only thing left to remind me was the regrowth. If you think growing a beard is bad, heh, I got something you might want to try.
I’m not even sure how to liveblog an event that only takes 30 minutes. I am pretty sure, though, that I don’t want to see the pictures. Why are women so much prettier “down there” than men are?
MikeM @ #25:
Paging MAJeff for a second opinion…
MikeM, because we keep our bits neatly tucked away inside our bodies, not flopping around for all to see :-P
I think if our organs were exposed they wouldn’t look very attractive either. My hubby copped an eyeful of my uterus during my c-section and I don’t think he was very impressed…
Why are women so much prettier “down there” than men are?
I don’t know about prettier, but I can say from personal experience that I’m inexorably drawn to such structures, much like an insect to a pitcher plant, and with a similar outcome.
One day while sitting in a police station waiting room to recover goods stolen from our workshop, my boss sat looking balefully at a poster in blue, purple and black which advocated vasectomy.
‘My bollocks were them colours for a week afterwards,’ he said.
Why are women so much prettier “down there” than men are?
They are? news to me.