While the Weekly World News may be on the verge of extinction (although it still seems to be surviving online), at least Pravda labors on to deliver the truth…
Recent studies of Australian scientists indicate that Atlanteans, the people who lived on a legendary island first mentioned by Plato, may have been the ancestors of dolphins.
Huh. Like we’re supposed to believe a bunch of Australians.
“recent studies of Australian Scientists…” So now Australian Scientists are descended from Atlanteans by way of dolphins? Cool!
Well “pravda” does literally translate as “truth” (and also “Justice”…
Wow – I wasn’t aware that it was just a matter of deciding. Well, I’m going to go decide to possess the ability to fly. I’ll let you guys know how it goes after I find a building to jump off of.
I blame the mice.
“Some people suggested that even the trees had been a bad move, and that we never should have left the ocean.”
So long, and thanks for all the…
Nah, can’t do it.
To easy.
:-)
All experiments with quatnum computers should be immediately abandoned, othewise the entire multiverse could collapse. The damage they do to the fabric of reality is simly undeniable. News reports from parallel universes like this one leaking into our reality are only the tip of the iceberg ! For example. Experts in quantum information theory recently found evidence that the majority of conservative blogs on the internet are from alternative realities.
:o)
LOL.
A few months ago, when that whole whale thing was going on near Sacramento, someone suggested that since humans could talk to dolphins, and dolphins could talk to whales, we just needed to bring in a dolphin interpreter friend to act as an intermediary between us well-wishing humans and the trapped whales. They were dead serious.
But this Pravda story, talking about Atlantis as if it was as factual as Atlanta… Where do people get these goofy ideas?
Dolphins used to be the humans who ran the Atlantis division of Xenu Industries and ate the clams who later evolved into the humans we have now.
Everyone knows that.
It only took dolphins 250,000 years to transform from walking mammal to streamlined jester of the sea?
WOW. The russian press really blows. That’s what happens when the news is controlled by the state,
I believe that roughly 8 years ago, at an anthropology conference in Cairo, a scientist (whose name and nationality are here withheld in the interest of international diplomacy) claimed to have found early hominid bones in Egypt. Dr. Tim White (RE: Lucy) looked at the rib bone fragments and dubbed them ‘flipperipithecus.’
@ @
O
Flying is easy, Eric. You just aim for the ground . . . and miss. This is my HitchhikersGTTG reference for the day.
I believe that roughly 8 years ago, at an anthropology conference in Cairo, a scientist (whose name and nationality are here withheld in the interest of international diplomacy) claimed to have found early hominid bones in Egypt. Dr. Tim White (RE: Lucy) looked at the rib bone fragments and dubbed them ‘flipperipithecus.’
@ @
O
I agree. For crying out loud, they think vegemite tastes good.
So … does that mean Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly are examples of stochastic tunneling?
Huh. And all this time I thought they were the orifices, not the extrusions.
Dr. Leslie Huskerway is a name worthy of the Marx Brothers (i.e. Dr. Hugo Z. Hackenbush) and a Google search for the “biologist” returns no hits (except the above Pravda article).
So much for “no news in Truth”.
So much for “no news in Truth”.
WOW. The russian press really blows. That’s what happens when the news is controlled by the state,
IIRC, Pravda hasn’t been state controlled for a long time. The newspaper Pravda was started by some of the people who ran the state-run version, but according to wiki pravda.ru is unrelated even to that.
That’s kinda what I was going for – though perhaps I made it a little too subtle.
One of my favorite books I own is a leather-bound copy of the entire 5-book trilogy, on thin pages that have gold on the edges, with a silk ribbon bookmark sewn in. It has often been mistaken for a Bible, and when people ask if that’s what it is, I just show it to them and tell them that yes, this is my bible.
Sounds like Pravda is now trying to compete with the National Enquirer.
who lived on a legendary island first mentioned by Plato,
BZZZT! Wrong! Well before Plato, the Atlantis myth has (as far as I am aware) its roots in an ancient Egyptian story, which proved popular enough to recirculate and give birth to a number of other super-duper-island-kingdom myths in nearby cultures – said myths that would later be used as “proof” of the existence of Atlantis itself.
So this article loses before they even GET to the Dolphins. That is a new kind of sad.
This can’t possibly be true. Atlanteans were supposed to be smart, but all dolphins do is muck about in the water all day having a good time…
WHen my wife and I got married, we had the officiant (a good friend of ours) carry her leather-bound HGTTG in place of a Bible. We put our vows in it. Raised quite a few eyebrows…
…But where was I? Yes, Austraila. As everyone knows, Australia is entirely peopled by criminals, who are used to people not trusting them, as you do not trust me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
That’s nothing. There’s a creationist on IIDB that thinks dolphins adapted to their fully aquatic lifestyle from fully terrestrial mammals within five years after the Flood.
Yes, it has been pointed out to him that five years is about one generation for dolphins.
A lot of people didn’t believe there were beaver-like animals with duck bills or animals who could balance their weight on their tails and carried their young in a pouch.
What’s one more thing to stretch one’s credulity? ;-)
All I want to know is, how distantly related am I to lampreys. ;-)
…which is completely unknown, except for Plato explaining that the Atlantis story was told to him in Egypt. So, yes, as far as we know, Atlantis was first mentioned by Plato.
Under this name at least. Apparently it’s simply Troy, with months instead of years, and behind the other Columns of Heracles (the Dardanelles).
…which is completely unknown, except for Plato explaining that the Atlantis story was told to him in Egypt. So, yes, as far as we know, Atlantis was first mentioned by Plato.
Under this name at least. Apparently it’s simply Troy, with months instead of years, and behind the other Columns of Heracles (the Dardanelles).
Ah, you crazy “scientists” and your “theories.” Everyone knows that the real Atlantis is hidden under the remains of the Great Barrier Reef. I recommend an archaeological expedition to dig up the whole works forthwith.
Anyone watch Stargate Atlantis? Incredible show that feeds off of the Atlantis myth.
Trust us Ozzies? Nah, you got the biggest military around, no need for trust. We’ll do whatever you ask. :)
“recent studies of Australian Scientists…” So now Australian Scientists are descended from Atlanteans by way of dolphins? Cool!
My first thought exactly!
I’m surprised no-one has asked the obvious questions then: so, do dolphins have 12 strands of DNA in the form of 4 triangles facing in? Inquiring minds want to have the deep knowing (or am I missing a couple of timecubes?)
Australians get this a lot.
When you’re a journalist making up a news story about a discovery by scientists, you want to pick a country that seems (i) a bit different, where something unusual might seem plausible to your gullible readers, and (ii) seems too far away to actually check any of the facts.
It doesn’t hurt that we have kooks of our own, so if you need a little bit of truth in there to reinforce all the made up bits, you can probably find someone to say something inane enough to fit your story.
I’m calling a partial BS on this one. For a start there is no such place as Melbourne University ( there is a University of Melbourne but it would NEVER be styled as Mebourne University) and there is no such person as Leslie Huskeway working there.
However, I am Australian, I do like lolling around in the water all day doing bugger all, I have been known to communicate in squeaks (but only after a hell tequila session) and my cousin’s name is Flipper so perhaps…..
Oh, and my two month old has a suspicious hole in the top of her head, coincidence?, I think not.
Oh, and Brownian- Vegemite rocks- you just have to brought up on it to appreciate its subtle and elegant flavour.
*blink*
Wow. I coulda sworn I just saw Kristine Harley!
Or have an Aussie like my labmate show you how to set it up right. The secret is *lots* of butter and a *very thin* layer of Vegemite.
Slabbing on the Vegemite like mortar with a trowel is a rookie mistake, one that is destined to end not at all well.
Philistine! You have to trowel it on, lots of butter makes it lubricated, but the sheer salt attack of big dollop of Vegemite is a rush. Especially when hung over. (queue drooling noises)
We have know for years how intelligent sea mammals are. Have none of you read “The Porpoise-Driven Life?”
Speaking as one who just acquired his first Aussie passport today, I’m delighted to be able to trace my ancestry to Atlantis. Look out Miss Natla, I’m coming for that Scion…
Usually, when an article starts with :
“Recent studies of (Country X) scientists indicate that…”
it is very likely that it is not required to read the continuation.
Controlled not run by the state.
The russian press is alot like Fox news is here.
We have know for years how intelligent sea mammals are. Have none of you read “The Porpoise-Driven Life?”
Sorry for the double post.
One part of the article that no one has mentioned yet:
That’s really profound. What methodology did they follow to determine a hippo is dumber than a giraffe??
Doesn’t surprise me–ever try to carry on a conversation with a hippo?
And there’s no damn way that giraffes are smarter than foxes.
<Insert Neri reference here>
Bride of Shrek,
The University of Melbourne is colloquially known as Melbourne University – referred to more often than its correct name. I’ll agree with the BS call. Australians are not as gullible as the readers of this fine example of scientifically credible literature – which incidentally (http://english.pravda.ru/society/anomal/) brings you:
-Video of crashed UFO in Russia leaks from secret KGB files;
-Ghost of Lenin sighted in the Kremlin;
-Heavenly omens carry inexplicable messages;
-Blind Russian mystic discerns colors by touch;
among others.
And Brownian, for what it’s worth, you will find about 50% of Australians -such as myself- do not actually like Vegemite.
Well giraffes don’t poop in the water, churn it up with their tails, and then submerge in it up to their nostrils.
Well giraffes don’t poop in the water, churn it up with their tails, and then submerge in it up to their nostrils.
giraffes head butt each other into broken necks.
meaningless, just like Portman’s scale.
From the end of this article:
John Lilly? John Lilly?
hahahahha!!
(wipes tears from eyes) Sorry, I shouldn’t be so rude, as John Lilly really did contribute innovative, intelligent actual science involving dolphin communication. However, his opinions on dolphins communicating with humans are…
well, from his book “John Lilly”, So Far:
You don’t say.
Sorry, thats:
“John Lilly, So Far”
How is Pravda still going? People started to realize it was bullshit back in the 1930s. I had assumed the Soviets had just given up on it.
The idea that there are people out there who might actually read and believe Pravda frightens me.
What methodology did they follow to determine a hippo is dumber than a giraffe??
Hippos vote republican and go to church?
How did I miss that the Weekly World News is going byebye? You’d think it would be a major story given the fame and influence of the WWN.
Eric #19. “One of my favorite books I own is a leather-bound copy of the entire 5-book trilogy, on thin pages that have gold on the edges, with a silk ribbon bookmark sewn in.”
You are making me jealous!!. But then I have a beautiful hardcover edition of the complete Calvin and Hobbes. :-)
I’m slightly relieved that UM doesn’t actually have a Leslie Huskerway on staff.
Us Aussies are far more intelligent than that.
Speaking as a Russian-descended person born and living in Australia (and still not giving a damn about Steve Irwin or Australia’s Prime Minister):
hey, enough with the Australian-bashing please. How’s about we judged all’s y’alls Americans on the performance of your President, your ID-pushing mathematicians or scuba-wearing Baptist ministers, da? Bolshoye spasibo, khorosho? Dostatochna.
… and I refuse to have butter with my Vegemite (but then again, I don’t like butter OR margarine). I want my salty Vitamin B without added fats. And I don’t care if my girlfriend’s eyes bug out in disgust when I slather the Vegemite on to the bread. Them’s good eatin’s right there.
I would just like to point out that New Zealanders like Vegemite too. I like mine on thick oatcakes, also without added yellow fat containing substances. This effectively combines both the Scottish and Kiwi sides of me.
Never had vegemite. We get Marmite in the UK, which is often marketed under the slogan “you either love it or hate it”. I can’t understand why anyone wouldn’t like it. Its made of beer! (well a beer byproduct).
Its made of beer! *Perks up*
Kseniya: *Swish!* Ever heard of ancient astronauts? We are ancestral to the Atlanteans. We rode here curled into holes on large meteorites (while the Pacificeans crossed the ocean on logs, the scum). No alcohol on our planet.
MARS NEEDS WHISKEY! Take me to your liter.
Skepchick took a nice swipe at this one, too.
One thing that amazes me about the Atlantis nuts is that Plato goes out of his way to all but say “I’m making this up, people!!”
Proteus454: I have it on the authority of a classicist (and my own brief investigation) that it is Plato making it up – certainly the word is from him. Moreover, if you read the story you’ll see that it is a glorified Athens and so on.
David Marjanović, OM: Worse. An old man explains that he heard it once from his grandfather when his grandfather was an old man, who supposedly heard it from the Egyptians. I think that’s right.