Ken Lay Resurrection Watch


In light of this startling comparison at the Ken Lay funeral, we’re going to have to keep on eye on the urn containing his cremated ashes.

The Reverend Dr. Bill Lawson compared Lay with civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesus Christ, and said his name would eventually be cleared.

I don’t think there’s much risk that he’ll rise again. Can you imagine Satan showing him all the kingdoms of the world, saying “All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me,” and Kenny Boy failing to rush to his knees and sing hosannas on the spot?

Comments

  1. harald hardrada says

    wasn’t that thoughtful of ken lay to die at a moment so convenient to all concerned? — now i’d be the last one to suggest…

  2. George says

    The Reverend Dr. Bill Lawson compared Lay with civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesus Christ, and said his name would eventually be cleared.

    I guess it gets to the point where you’ve told a zillion lies in a lifetime of Sunday services, so hey, why not tell a few more?

  3. Grumpy says

    What was the name of Jesus’ defense lawyer again?

    Oh yeah. He didn’t have one. Didn’t want one, either.

    But I suppose Ken Lay is still like MLK. After all, they both went to jail for… what grand principle did Ken Lay go to jail for? That’s right — he didn’t go to jail!

  4. Coragyps says

    I’ve heard some pretty outrageous bullshit at funerals, but that takes the cake!

  5. NelC says

    I know you’re supposed to say nice things at a funeral — it’s quite possible that there was someone there who loved him, I guess — but how do they get away with bullshit like this?

  6. Stogoe says

    They’ve told so many lies without anyone calling them on a single one – why should anyone start calling them on their lies now?

  7. Swany says

    Now I Lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord, thanks for keeping me out of the slammer. And for that body double.

  8. says

    Our yearly jaunt to summer jaunt to Aspen has coincided with this abortion of justice. Did you see the obituary? Also, up here, the very same minister compared Lay with MLK Jr., Jesus, and JFK, saying they were vilified in life but will be revered in death…I guess they dropped the JFK ref for the Houston gig.

  9. pastor maker says

    Heh.

    Another criminal canonised after his death? So what else is new? Remember the nauseating bullshit that was heaped on that scumbag Nixon’s coffin? And by Bill Clinton, no less?

  10. says

    wasn’t that thoughtful of ken lay to die at a moment so convenient to all concerned? — now i’d be the last one to suggest…

    Wow, and when you’re done not suggesting it, maybe we can tack up your non-suggestion next to idiocy like the “Clinton death list.”

  11. Mark says

    OK now I can hear Methodist minister grandfather must be screaming from his grave. What an embarassment those jackasses are. It’s bad enough being Texan. Now my Methodist heritage is revolting me, too.

  12. MYOB says

    Funny, all these Enron execs and upper level managers are dropping like flies to one conviction after another yet everyone says Kenny boy was innocent?
    I guess we should ask more republicans whether this was true?
    Was he innocent yet convicted in error?
    If his crimes resulted in the death penalty wouldn’t this be proof that the court system is flawed and needs work so we should void the death penalty in case more innocent Ken Lays get convicted?

    I think I smell something called leverage. It’s funny how whenever poor people get convicted and sent up the river to the death penalty these DP zealots are quick to say no innocent man has ever been executed. I guess that would have ended had his crimes carried the death penalty. As much as I am against the death penalty I have to wonder whether Lay wouldn’t have deserved it for ripping off millions of Californians not to mention his own employees.

    MYOB’
    .

  13. says

    I’m pretty sure what the good Reverend meant is that Jesus was not above insider trading and was active in gaming the energy markets.

    If Ken Lay = Jesus then it follows that Jesus = Ken Lay. Or is my math myth?

    As to how one gets crucified on the Escher-esque “E” Enron logo I suggest one use investor nails and wood grown from the World Hubris Tree.

    +++

  14. Phoenician in a time of Romans says

    The Reverend Dr. Bill Lawson compared Lay with civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesus Christ, and said his name would eventually be cleared.

    Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

    How exactly do these people get away with the bullshit that they worship Christ when they obviously worship this guy instead?

  15. Azkyroth says

    Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

    Err…do you need to mix motor oil with the lube for that?

    As for that crap about Ken Lay being like Jesus…I dunno, I’m pretty sure he existed. In all seriousness…hmm, I wonder what my guinea wingnut would say if I pointed it out to her. Either “that’s just a buncha liberal bullshit” or “who’s Ken Lay?”, probably…

  16. Johnny Vector says

    Lay’s stepson David Herrold told the nearly full First United Methodist Church that Lay was wrongly convicted.

    David Herrold? So then, Ken Lay isn’t Jesus, he’s John Wilkes Booth. Set fire to the barn!

  17. George says

    MLK: I have a dream.

    Ken: I have a beemer.

    Jesus: Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.

    Ken: Follow me, and lose your entire life savings with Ken.

  18. HPLC_Sean says

    I was happy imagining Lay as someone’s bitch in jail, but he cheated that humiliation by dying and then was honored by a former president. He was such a crook that he cheated justice right when it was being served and got honored for it. I hope he’s someone’s bitch in oblivion.

  19. speedwell says

    I live in Houston. I remember the day the news about Enron hit. I remember watching strangers cry in public. I can assure you, the city is watching the circus. But by now we’re so abused by this Enron crap that we’re numb. We just can’t expect anything from these people but more craziness and abuse.

  20. harald hardrada says

    heaven forfend that anybody should impugn the upstanding morality of our glorified chicken hawk leaders who are lighthearted about killing or maiming hundreds of thousands of innocent iraqis but who certainly would never put out a contract on the likes of ken lay — some americans, like andy, excel at being holier than thou: his scientistic purity is a wonder to behold

  21. says

    Harald –

    I’m just getting back into the stock market. I really must see if the Reynolds Wrap company trades publicly. If so, I’m going to be rich beyond my dreams.

    Such conspiracy kookery is the reason I’m a man without a political party. Between the moonbats and the wingnuts, what’s a sane person to do?

  22. harald hardrada says

    andy, don’t feel bitter just because you’re left having to parade your superiority here instead of on a certain other website

    you literal mindedness is touching

  23. says

    How is a Lay like Jesus Christ?
    Kenny Boy can’t be Jesus, I know better–the real Jesus is Tom De-Lay.

  24. todd. says

    Does it count as resurrection if you’re found on a beach in South America after faking your death?

  25. says

    andy, don’t feel bitter just because you’re left having to parade your superiority here instead of on a certain other website

    Errr…I’m not left having to do anything anywhere in particular. It’s rather how the blogosphere works.

    I’m sorry you don’t like being compared to the wingnuts convinced Clinton had people knocked off, but the shoe looks like a pretty good fit.

    And look out, I hear Dubya has bought a lot of black helicopters too.

  26. harald hardrada says

    you may compare me to anybody you wish — it’s your american smugness that speaks volumes

  27. says

    it’s your american smugness that speaks volumes

    Oh, please, my smugness is global, not defined by silly lines on a map. Hooray for the internet!

  28. Greg Peterson says

    Maybe this is an OK place to contrast the devout Ken Lay with the agnostic/atheistic Warren Buffett:

    Warren Buffett on Monday signed over much of his $44 billion fortune to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, uniting the world’s two richest people in a bid to fight disease, reduce poverty and improve education. “I am not an enthusiast for dynastic wealth, particularly when the alternative is 6 billion people having much poorer hands in life than we have,” Buffett said at a signing ceremony with the Gateses at the New York Public Library.
    Gates, 50, this month said he plans in July 2008 to step down from his day-to-day Microsoft role to focus on his foundation, one of the goals of which is to improve access to technology in U.S. public libraries. It also focuses on fighting diseases such as HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria.

    ——————————
    (From a Buffett biography):
    Buffett’s skepticism caused friend Truman Wood to bait him:
    Wood, intrigued that Buffet had read the Bible three or four times and remained agnostic, could not resist trying to convert him. They had the usual debates about faith and the afterlife, but Buffet was immovable. For every argument that Wood raised, Buffet had a deadly logical response.

    Buffett was a fan of the mathematician, philosopher and atheist Bertrand Russell. Lowenstein recounts Buffets sympathy with Russell’s social agenda: “An agnostic like Russell, and deeply aware of his mortality, Buffett thought it was up to society, collectively, to protect the planet from dangers such as nuclear war.”

  29. Phoenician in a time of Romans says

    “Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.”

    Err…do you need to mix motor oil with the lube for that?

    The movie “Heathers” is now out on DVD. Feel free to rent it.

  30. says

    todd: In the Boomer Bible the substitute messiah Harry flees to Rio or something to beat the rap. So maybe …

    (Who has read the BB here? It is outrageously funny …)

  31. Ralph Stafford says

    It is outrageously funny that Ken Lay suddenly died just before sentencing. Is he really dead? Let’s see what happens next.

    Stay tuned in.