Childbirth is a beautiful thing, I know…but a statue of Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug is just weird, and this one combines a couple of other strange conceptions.
The monument also acknowledges the pop-diva’s pin-up past by showing Spears seductively posed on all fours atop a bearskin rug with back arched, pelvis thrust upward, as she clutches the bear’s ears with “water-retentive” hands.
Labor is not seductive. Putting a “pop-diva” in a rather sexual pose is not a celebration of birth and motherhood, I don’t think. Furthermore, it’s supposed to be a monument: a monument to the anti-choice movement. I’m sure there’s nothing Phyllis Schlafly and James Dobson would think represents their beliefs better than an anatomically explicit statue of the woman who sang “Baby one more time” naked and in a gynecologically revealing pose.
I’m thinking some New York artist is venting excess irony here.
(via Blog of the Moderaate Left)
I want one.
I’ll comment after I’m done puking.
(I’ll say this: I am NEVER having children. Thanks Forced Pregnancy Agenda for helping me make that decision!)
So do you have to kill a new bear for every live birth, or do you reuse the rug? Laundering’s gotta be a pain.
That statue. .. sick. The sensual pose + disgust for Britney + revulsion of the bearskin rug + curiousity of the posterior view + mental image of posterior view = VOMIT.
I’ve never heard of anyone giving birth on all fours.
Britney didn’t, that’s for sure. She had a Caesarian.
Worth repeating….
from “Boston Legal” 3/14/2006 “Stick it”
Alan Shore’s closing argument
Alan Shore: When the weapons of mass destruction thing turned out to be not true, I expected the American people to rise up. Ha! They didn’t.
Then, when the Abu Ghraib torture thing surfaced and it was revealed that our government participated in rendition, a practice where we kidnap people and turn them over to regimes who specialize in torture, I was sure then the American people would be heard from. We stood mute.
Then came the news that we jailed thousands of so-called terrorists suspects, locked them up without the right to a trial or even the right to confront their accusers. Certainly, we would never stand for that. We did.
And now, it’s been discovered the executive branch has been conducting massive, illegal, domestic surveillance on its own citizens. You and me. And I at least consoled myself that finally, finally the American people will have had enough. Evidentially, we haven’t.
In fact, if the people of this country have spoken, the message is we’re okay with it all. Torture, warrantless search and seizure, illegal wiretappings, prison without a fair trial – or any trial, war on false pretenses. We, as a citizenry, are apparently not offended.
There are no demonstrations on college campuses. In fact, there’s no clear indication that young people seem to notice.
Well, Melissa Hughes noticed. Now, you might think, instead of withholding her taxes, she could have protested the old fashioned way. Made a placard and demonstrated at a Presidential or Vice-Presidential appearance, but we’ve lost the right to that as well. The Secret Service can now declare free speech zones to contain, control and, in effect, criminalize protest.
Stop for a second and try to fathom that.
At a presidential rally, parade or appearance, if you have on a supportive t-shirt, you can be there. If you are wearing or carrying something in protest, you can be removed.
This, in the United States of America. This in the United States of America. Is Melissa Hughes the only one embarrassed?
*Alan sits down abruptly in the witness chair next to the judge*
Judge Robert Sanders: Mr. Shore. That’s a chair for witnesses only.
Really long speeches make me so tired sometimes.
Judge Sanders: Please get out of the chair.
Alan: Actually, I’m sick and tired.
Judge Sanders: Get out of the chair!
Alan: And what I’m most sick and tired of is how every time somebody disagrees with how the government is running things, he or she is labeled unAmerican.
U.S. Attorney Jonathan Shapiro: Evidentally, it’s speech time.
Alan: And speech in this country is free, you hack! Free for me, free for you. Free for Melissa Hughes to stand up to her government and say “Stick it”!
U.S. Attorney Jonathan Shapiro: Objection!
Alan: I object to government abusing its power to squash the constitutional freedoms of its citizenry. And, God forbid, anybody challenge it. They’re smeared as being a heretic. Melissa Hughes is an American. Melissa Hughes is an American. Melissa Hughes is an American!
Judge Sanders: Mr. Shore. Unless you have anything new and fresh to say, please sit down. You’ve breached the decorum of my courtroom with all this hooting.
Alan: Last night, I went to bed with a book. Not as much fun as a 29 year old, but the book contained a speech by Adlai Stevenson. The year was 1952. He said, “The tragedy of our day is the climate of fear in which we live and fear breeds repression. Too often, sinister threats to the Bill of Rights, to freedom of the mind are concealed under the patriotic cloak of anti-Communism.”
Today, it’s the cloak of anti-terrorism. Stevenson also remarked, “It’s far easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.”
I know we are all afraid, but the Bill of Rights – we have to live up to that. We simply must. That’s all Melissa Hughes was trying to say. She was speaking for you. I would ask you now to go back to that room and speak for her.
The verdict? Watch it and see…
Boston Legal is my favorite TV show. I am a staunch non-parent, but even I would have Alan Shore’s babies.
Bingo! He’s also the guy behind the “Ted Williams death masks” (and lots of cheesy wilderness sculptures).
This latest is a beaut, though. Can’t wait for the coffee table edition.
This is too hillariously bad to be taken at face value. No real strident pro-lifer would make something so anatomically correct — let alone of Ms. Spears (not to mention the bear skin rug).
I think this piece is ironic social commentary — seems more about sex, media, and celebrity than it is “pro-life”.
Go to your library and check out some books on natural birth–the ones with the photos.
Note: personally, I feel a lot more secure having “the machine that goes bing” in the room just in case it doesn’t all go according to plan.
I think a more appropriate statue to represent her “pro-life” stance would be from when she was driving with her baby in her lap. THERE’S care & respect for our children!
Women occasionally give birth on all fours, but I hope that Darwin’s Silver Hammer would knock anyone out of the gene pool who was dumb enough to give birth on all fours “with her pelvis thrust upward”, thereby pushing out the baby against the force of gravity.
Yeah, there are a lot of inventive postures that work for childbirth. It’s a strenuous business, and sometimes something other than lying flat on the back, legs up in the air is better at relieving some of the localized pain.
And I agree with Lya — I ain’t never going through it. I’m kind of amazed at the fortitude of my wife, who went through it 3 times. She’s much tougher than I am.
Heh. Britney.
In physics class a few years ago we were exploring friction and used Britney as a model. We learned that Britney couldn’t generate enough force to actually push a soda machine across the floor, but that she certainly could generate the necessary force to tip the machine over on top of herself.
When ever I see Britney in the news now, I see the blackboard equations, and graphic of a squashed Britney.
Ugh. If it’s not a joke, then I guess to each his own. I agree that it’s certainly not something Christian pro-lifers would endorse, but then not all of us “anti-choice,” “strident pro-lifers” are Christians.
What’s most ironic is that Britney had a c-section.
Hmmm…birthing on all fours? I did it. At home (attended by a trained professional midwife), in water. If I’d had to lay on my back to have my daughter, I would have been SCREAMING for drugs.
If I ever have a second child, I’d likely choose homebirth again, assuming my pregnancy is again straightforward and uncomplicated. It’s a bodily function, not a medical emergency.
And yes, of *course* we had contingency plans for if any emergencies arose. They didn’t.
In case it came off that way, I did not intend my comment to be critical of homebirth. I would most likely have gone along with whatever my wife wanted. But I am pretty risk averse, so my preference all other things being equal is to be in a hospital.
“birthing on all fours? I did it. At home, in water.”
I think the operative part of the sentence is *in water*.
I doubt that this position can be comfy for long without immersion : too much strain on the arms.
But then again, I’m nulliparous, and not planning to change anytime soon.
There are some interesting apparatuses available for birthing — they look kind of like jungle gyms for the bed. I’m not going to mock women who try these things, ’cause, really, childbirth looks like it hurts. A lot.
The artist is a prankster
great. now I have to tear out my eyes. aaaaarrrrrgggghhh!
should it bother us that ms. spears’ method of delivery is well enough known that commenters here seem fairly familiar with it? do i get some kind of cred points for not having previously known it?
or do i at least get a few seconds of life back for having had to learn what it was, eh?
Is it weird that the first thing that I wondered about the statue is what it looked like from behind?
When I read the thing about the baby’s head being visible, I laughed for a solid minute. Still, I’m so glad this is parody…
How much you wanna bet Britney commissioned it?
Why isn’t the Britney Spears statue on its back, getting sliced open by a surgeon? Britney had a c-section!
Although I’m no biologist, I did grow up in Alaska, and that sure doesn’t look like a bearskin. The muzzle’s too narrow– well, the whole profile is much more wolflike, don’t y’all think?
Giving birth in a squatting or sitting position was once common. IIRC, there’s a reference somewhere in the Sacred Gobbledybook about “the birthing stool”, and I’ve seen illustrations of birthing stools with a back and a conveniently cut-out seat dating from the 16th and 17th centuries. The Egyptian heiroglyph whose Gardiner number is B3 also illustrates this.
All fours though- that’s got to be a modern invention. Doesn’t seem very practical to me.
Erm…Britney fans everywhere may burn me in effigy…but..looking at that statue my stomach turns. Hopefully, the artist did mean this as a parody. As some posters have pointed out, Britney did not give birth in this position. And, it is doubtful that many other women have. Given the fact that pushing the baby UP without the benefit of gravity’s help would prolong the pain associated with birth, how does this help the anti choice folks?
But, given that I remember my childs birth, and how beautiful my wife looked during the whole ordeal, I must say Britney ain’t sh&*%!
My wife was obscenely attractive during the whole mess. Yes, it was a mess, but, hey, I love my wife! ;)
Besides, birth is rather like watching a car or train wreck….hard to take your eyes of off the process.
Maybe that is why horror movies are so popular.
:-)
Yes I do. But where the hell is the rest of the rug? Couldn’t be bothered to render it? Or did Britney really sacrifice a bear to the fertility gods in order to insure a healthy birth?
Oddly enough, I didn’t quite see the bear head at first, it looked to me like she was reading a newspaper. I mean, look at her face. Quite nonplussed.
Labor is not seductive.
Some women induce labor with sex and some even distract themselves during contractions with sex.
I think it’s telling that in all the blog posts, articles, and comment threads I’ve run across, not one person so much as wonders in passing what Britney thinks about all this.
Disgusting!!! First of all, this is absolutely wrong positon for childbirth.
Second she had a ceasarian baby. It is more looking like a sexual pose rather than childbirth pose. No one has right to make fun of the most sacred maternity process. :sad:
“I think it’s telling that in all the blog posts, articles, and comment threads I’ve run across, not one person so much as wonders in passing what Britney thinks about all this.”
-speedwell
Uh…Britney thinks? *blinks*
[ventfrustrationwithhumor]I think the statue actually makes a pretty accurate commentary on anti-choicers, if you stretch it almost as far as the bible’s been stretched…after all, most of them seem to have a head firmly lodged inside an expandable orifice of theirs as well…of course, the head is their own… ;/ [/ventfrustrationwithhumor]
http://britneystatue.ytmnd.com/
:)
God bless the Internet.
Eh. I was posed like that for portions of my last labor, though not for the actual pushing part. Just trying to get comfortable — that is to say, slightly less uncomfortable. Sometime stretching helped a little. Birthing stools are far from a dead practice, btw — I used one with both of my kids. (Homebirths, licenced midwife.) Of course, I didn’t feel it was sexual in the least, and I don’t think many birthing women — unless they’re drugged to the gills — have that sort of expression on their faces :P
Perhaps interestingly, it was being pregnant and giving birth (twice, and both times very much intentional) that made me more pro-choice than I had been before. No one should be made to go through pregnancy unless they really, really want to. I loved mine in theory, but in practice — wow. Quite a miserable way to spend 9 months, physically!
Agreed!
I don’t see how celebrating birth is anti-choice.
I have a 9-month-old.
I thought the process was beautiful IMHO, not gross, and I had a vaginal delivery. B Spears didn’t even want to try for one, she wanted a c-section since she knew she was pregnant!
Forcing a woman to be a mother is like forcing an architect to build a building. They won’t do it right.