You’d think they’d freeze solid or something, and not really be a threat until the spring thaw. Now there’s video footage of zombies rampaging across a frozen lake, so I guess maybe we should be concerned.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
PZ, one must always be vigilant in the fight against zombies. It’s when you let your guard down that they get you–regardless of whether you are in the frozen tundra that is Minnesota or the oven that is Georgia where I am. Now if only I could write my dissertation on zombies, maybe I wouldn’t be procrastinating so much…
We know that zombies love malls from Dawn of the Dead (preferably the original, but either works). Which state is home to the largest mall in America?
Everyone knows that zombies require the brains of living human beings for sustenance. The severe brain drought in D.C. is undoubtedly to blame for waves of zombie migration away from the East Coast. It stands to reason that Minnesota’s risk level for zombie infestation would rise. However, fear not, former FEMA director Michael Brown is available as an independent consultant on emergency preparedness issues. Famously immune to zombie attack, Brown can safely travel anywhere in pursuit of improved public safety for Minnesotans and other large-brain-handicapped Americans.
What? No Hitler zombie?
Well, according to the Dawn of the Dead remake, the zombies made it from Pennsylvania to Wisconsin, so I suppose shuffling across the Mississippi would be the next logical step.
Surely not! The freezing point depression effect should keep them supple in all but the most bitter cold.
(What do you think zombies was down all those brains with, anyway? Antifreeze, of course!)
As we learned long ago from South Park: Never contaminate your formalin solution with Worcestershire sauce while embalming the victim of a space-junk accident. It’ll only end in tears.
PZ,
This is totally off topic, but I thought I’d let everyone know that Pharyngula was suggested as a good anti-ID reference to teachers at Evolution on the Frontline yesterday at the AAAS meetings! (So were talkorigins.org and Panda’s Thumb!)
Keep up the good work!
Loris
And what will they find on the front page today? Zombies and fornicating squid. Yay!
They just migrate up from Dallas whenever they start freezing up north. I’ve told people for years that Dawn of the Dead is the best documentary about life in Dallas ever made, and I keep suggesting that my home town change its slogan to “When there’s no more room in Hell, the dead will go shopping.” For some reason, nobody takes me up on it. (And for the record, this is the town that still has an arrest warrant out for Mike Royko for referring to Dallas as “a shopping mall Shangri-La in 1984…and never mind that Royko died in 1997. I work literally across the highway from one of the biggest malls in the area, and live within walking distance to two others, so I’m in firm agreement with Gentleman Mike.)
You shouldn’t forget the Elk River Zombies which I reported on in earlier forums.