So, far be it from me to diss the consensual kink people get up to. And sure, I’ve done a little light bondage from time to time. Zero wrong with that. Butt stuff? Of course! I think every bit of skin is beautiful and every nerve ending deserves some positive stimulation every once in a while. I mean, there are some reasons beyond just “change current legal thinking about what constitutes an acceptable outcome” that I named this blog “Pervert Justice”. But this particular contraption has me a bit bewildered:

In my experience, which admittedly is only mine, sexual bondage presumes that the person bound will struggle against their restraints a bit. Otherwise one could simply voluntarily remain motionless and the bondage would be entirely unnecessary. Seen this way, anchoring the cuffs to, say, a bed frame makes perfect sense. The bed is too large for a person to move by themselves, especially if they’re on it.

And the butt plug, well, if your hands are cuffed, you can’t take it out, right? If someone inserts it into your body, well, you’re just helpless to resist it, what with the handcuffs and all. There are a large number of people who want to do kinky shit, but are afraid of feeling guilty about it afterward (or during). Being tied up or cuffed so that you just can’t stop your lover from doing exactly what you want them to do is part of why light bondage is so popular. You get what you want & you don’t have to feel guilty, because after all you were handcuffed! You couldn’t possibly have removed that butt plug!

Now of course this is a transparent conceit – not only to others, but even to the person using it. Nevertheless, its clear from many, many stories that engaging in ritualized, consensual bondage, even when explicitly negotiated before hand, or even when requested by the person later bound, can and does reduce feelings of conflict & guilt and allows people to enjoy sex that they do want to have, but that they have been taught is wrong.

So I get it! This isn’t what ties me in knots.

The mystery for me is that in this case the handcuffs are not being attached to something large and immobile. And that butt plug you can’t reach with your hands restrained? Well, now you have a chain that goes directly between the plug and your hands to make sure you have a chance to pop it free even while restrained. And once it pops free, then your hands are more mobile than before. Earlier there was the vague restriction on motion provided by a plug that could certainly have wiggled around and streched against its confines while in your ass. After the plug pops free, that vague restriction is substantially lessened. You’re still cuffed, but as a security measure, as a binding measure, it’s doomed to failure.

So… what is the appeal? I’m sure this is some. I’m sure many people think this is fun or hot or whatever. But I’m completely at a loss as to what that appeal is, since it uses the implements of bondage and the implements of forbidden sex, but then hands control right back to the person bound.

There are lots of sex questions I can answer, but this one escapes me.