So over at The New Civil Rights Movement, queer writer David Badash comments on goat fucking, child molester Erick Erickson‘s new story. Apparently, a member of the House of Reps went off on Trump and the position in which he has placed congressional republicans. I wouldn’t ever recommend giving the goat fucker any clicks, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun quoting from Badash’s coverage:

If we’re going to lose because of him, we might as well impeach the motherf**ker,

And that’s just the rep getting going.

dammit he’s taking us all down with him. We are well and truly f**ked in November.

After assuming that the democrats would regain a majority and that Nancy Pelosi would return as Speaker, the child molester’s interviewee insisted that

She’s going to f**k up the cafeteria again too.

WTF? Really? That’s what you care about? It’s not repeal of your horrid tax laws. It’s not this or that policy that will affect the economy for decades to come? It’s not whether or not cops get prosecuted when they shoot unarmed people going about their lives who panic when someone pulls a gun on them in their own yards? It’s the fucking Capitol Building cafeteria that gets you worked up?

Okay then. Congressional republicans are even more screwed up than I thought. Though maybe this is an obsession of everyone serving in congress, it’s hard to tell.

But what really made me laugh about Badash’s coverage was that although the person talking to the goat fucking child molester was happy to have the exact words printed verbatim, he*1 didn’t want his name attached. This led Badash to describe him thusly:

the unnamed Republican Congressman we’ll call “Rep. X,”

I’m sorry if I’m easily amused, but damn the thought of an actual Representative X got me going. Thinking of John Lewis and Malcom X serving together on committees during this Time of Trump made me grin from ear to ear. It’s a bit hard to pick which one would best serve as committee chair, of course, but that’s a dilemma we should all welcome.

Of course, the amusement didn’t stop there. If it was really Rep. X saying these things, well, that couldn’t be, could it? Maybe not for all of it, but our imaginary Rep X sure as heck would have agreed with the anonymous republican coward and cafeteria snob on a good bit of this rant:

The House Judiciary Committee “just might pull the trigger if the President fires Mueller,” Rep. X supposedly said. “The sh*t will hit the fan if that happens and I’d vote to impeach him myself.”

Yes, anonymous republican, I think imaginary Representative Malcom X would fully agree.

UPDATE: Wonkette also found this story intriguing, though they didn’t spend any time fantasizing about a modern-day Rep. X. Instead, they used their much greater awareness of the political history of the US, and much greater knowledge of facts about particular legislators, to greatly narrow the possible sources of Monsieur G. Fucker’s quotes. Their fave? (And they give good reasons) Peter King.

*1: Relying on Badash via the goat fucker for accurate gendering here.