So, back on Sunday night (June 23rd), my brother and I prepped horseradish. I decided to start recording (via my phone), when we started to take it out of the food processor to put it in a container. Then I thought it’d be a good idea to share our recipe.
In the future, we want to do an actual instruction video on how to make it, while showing us actually making it. This video… isn’t that. The idea started out as a joke, but then I was like… hey! I want people to see this! Maybe I can teach them how to join us in this delicious pain! And this video was the result.
I don’t have a transcript as such, but I do have a recipe which I’ll post here, and the video has subtitles! So there’s that… it’s a bit too off the cuff for a true transcript. There’s no script to speak of. Hopefully the subtitles work, but if people want a transcript, I’ll convert the subtitles into one to copy/paste here, as well. The editing work is also super amateur. I haven’t done any actual video editing in years, so… yeah.
Anyways… here’s the video!
And here’s the recipe:
Yeah we didn’t film the prep. So here’s an actual write-up/recipe for those who want to do this.
-1 lb (454g) Horseradish root
-1/3 cup (~77g) distilled white vinegar
-Some salt (to taste)
-Ice water (however much you need to get the consistency you want)
1) We recommend having a mask and goggles for this. But if you don’t… you know… good luck. (We had masks, but not goggles, this time, so… I kind of wish we did have goggles… heh.) Also, go ahead and put some ice in a large cup, fill it with water, and put it in the fridge. Give the water some time to get super cold.
2) Chop your horseradish into manageable chunks and peel off the skin. Once the skin’s off, wash the chunks in a strainer or colander, then chop them up into smaller pieces. The smaller you can get the pieces, the easier time your food processor will have processing them.
3) Put those pieces into your food processor and pulse until chopped relatively finely.
4) Grab your ice water and a tablespoon measure, turn your food processor to slow, and run it. As it runs, add the ice water 1 tablespoon at a time until you have a crumbly consistency.
5) Stop the food processor, and wait. The longer you wait, the spicier the horseradish will be, although we recommend not waiting longer than 5 minutes because of diminishing returns. We waited 4 minutes this time.
6) After the wait time is up, add the vinegar and as much (or as little) salt as you want. Turn the food processor to medium speed, and run. Continue adding ice water until you get a consistency you’re happy with. Once you’re happy, stop the food processor.
7) After that, move it to an air-tight container and store it in your fridge until you’re ready to use! For a few days it actually gets progressively hotter, but, like the initial wait time, there’s a point where it stops getting hotter, and then starts getting milder and milder.
A few notes:
a) It’s not “basically” mustard gas. I was very wrong there and not quite sure why I even said it. These are two entirely different chemicals at play. Mustard gas is actually a dangerous chemical that can cause harm to skin and lungs. Horseradish is hot because of a chemical known as isothiocyanate, which is largely harmless (although if you ingest far too much [far more than you would normally eat], you could burn your sinuses out, which is not a good thing… that said, eating a bit of horseradish like this is great if you’re congested… at least temporarily).
b) The ratio of vinegar to horseradish that seems to work best is 1/3 cup (or around 77g) vinegar to 1 lb (454g) horseradish. Also, I have only ever used white distilled vinegar for this. Maybe it’d work with other types (apple cider, rice, balsamic, etc). I don’t really know. I can imagine they’d impact the flavor, of course, but you might like that! Let me know what happens if you try it with other vinegars.
c) The next time we make horseradish, we’ll actually film us making it, rather than just us trying to put it away and eating a bit of it.
d) Both of us may or may not have exaggerated our reactions just a bit for the sake of entertainment…
So that’s it! My next post will be a bit of an update and a jumble of thoughts on current events, and we’ll go from there! I am attempting to actually come back to blogging. I want to… it’s just… been hard for me. So… yeah… see y’all soon!
For those who want a more universal ratio and who have a kitchen scale, this is very close to 1g vinegar per 6g horseradish.
Of course, this is a ratio and the units cancel each other out, so if your kitchen scale uses english units, then just divide the pounds or ounces of horseradish by 6 and you’ll get the amount of vinegar (by weight) that you should be using.
Kitchen scales rock, people. If you have enough space where you’re living and cooking to have one, they can be very helpful.
You would have much less fun if you place your food processor outdoors on the back steps. Your sinus would appreciate the move.
My dad used his WWII gas mask when he ground horseradish.
Crip Dyke @ #1…
We really need more kitchen scale evangelists. You are so right about them.
And thanks for the universal ratio. That’s extremely helpful.
Last year I broke down and got a fairly high-end food processor which can also cook. I’m still learning how to use it, but it came in very handy during the lockdown here in France when the option of “ah feck it, I’ll just pop out to the cafe / restaurant” didn’t exist. Anyways, it came with a scale — admittedly my first — but I’m almost never used it. I consider myself a decent cook, and have long (since before about forever) measured by “eye” and used recipes as a hint, guide, or idea, rather then instructions. (This is, I’ve long speculated, the reason I cannot bake worth a damn.) So I’ve not yet really found a use for the scale myself, but I do acknowledge how useful they can be (and I must keep the ratio tip in mind, Thanks!).
As an aside, biggest problem to-date in using the various cooking-modes is it’s difficult to judge using smell or taste — you can, but it’s not as easy as with pot on the stove (more like checking on something no longer screaming in the oven). I’m currently trying to master Gazpacho (which is obviously not a cooked dish!), but at the moment am having problems making it properly spicy without “cheating” and resorting to a dash of various hot sauces. Otherwise, they seem fine. I also intend to try something like that spicy African(-ish) soup which was kindly posted on this very blog a year or three ago…