Soulsborneringkiro Games

U might be aware there is a genre of video games spawned by the Japanese company From Software, famous for both difficulty and for weaving a spell over players with oppressive atmosphere and heavy vibes of baroque desolation.  This began with the Demon Souls and Dark Souls games, to which have been added Bloodborne, Sekiro, and Elden Ring.  They called them Souls-likes for a minute, then Soulsborne genre, and now?  Whatever.

I have been put in mind of them a few times lately, most recently when some video game media named Elden Ring as the best game ever on their top 100.  Is it the bestiest?  I’m not gamer enough to find out, but I’ve watched some people play it on youtube.  I’ve watched a number of these games.

I swear I had something to say about them, but here I am trying to compose my thunks at 2:00 in the morning, tired enough to die but not quite able to sleep yet…

A uniting element of these games, at least the FromSoft originals, is that your character is basically or explicitly already dead.  The “multiple lives” aspect of video game unreality is given an excuse:  This guy can keep coming back because he’s just a phantom.  I think that’s a big mood right there.

Anyway, what do y’all know about these things?  Any experience playing them?  Just interested in the aesthetic like my poser ass?  Discuss.

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Titty Hurts

When I first got the gynecomastia, there was a generalized firmness and sensitivity to mild injury that was probably what you’d imagine for growing breasts.  Lately one then the other of my tetas are experiencing more of a sharp pain.  It runs in lines but I don’t think I’d characterize it as a shooting pain.

I looked it up and I’m almost certainly fine; mastalgia from boobening can take more than one form.  And maybe I’ll be more chesty on the other side, huzzah, but it’s a pain for now.

Titty hurts.  The more u kno.  (o)(o)

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Todd in the Shadows

You might have recently become aware of Todd in the Shadows as the guy who compiled James Somerton’s lies, whacking him with a steel chair after HBomberguy body slammed him from low earth orbit with the plagiarism exposé.  Todd is usually a music reviewer, with popular video series such as Train Wreckords and One Hit Wonderland.  My bf told me Todd’s Somerton video was among his most popular, which got me asking about where his other videos ranked.  I found out this one never even hit a million views, and was scandalized.

Behold, the best Todd in the Shadows video ever:

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Leftover People in Fiction

I wasn’t able to track down the 19th century book that inspired this post, but I suspect the book itself was the work of a theosophist (perhaps intentionally) over-applying the hindu concept of yugas and turning it into something more like Western concepts of magic.  Whatever, I’ll just lay out some of the things that are on my mind:

In that book, it was asserted that there is a Middle Eastern concept of cyclical creation and destruction (there isn’t as far as I can tell) wherein man’s world is god’s seventh iteration of the idea (maybe more, maybe less? don’t remember).  Holdovers from previous versions of creation include djinni, who iirc were kinda sassy about the situation.

In the TTRPG Feng Shui, which is similarly Orientalist but in a 1980s ninja ultimate power sense, there were sites in the world with cool mystical power, and whatever faction grabs the most of them gains some control over reality.  The previous owners of reality can skulk off to a netherworld outside of time to scheme a return to power.  So, like the djinni aforementioned, these guys are misfit leftovers from an earlier version of reality.

In the TTRPG Kult, something like judaeo-christian cosmology is sort-of true, but much nastier.  God, there called The Demiurge, has vanished into a hole, leaving his Archons in charge of maintaining humanity’s prison – an illusory reality called Elysium which prevents us from realizing our godhood.  There’s a lot more to the game that I won’t get into here, but central is the idea humans used to be god-like beings, running reality from an ur-city called Metropolis.  In that capacity, we were nasty ourselves, conquering other races and destroying their worlds.  The leftovers of those realities ended up – again – in some kind of netherworld slowly crumbling into an engine of oblivion called Achlys.  Reality leftovers.

It’s just an interesting idea to me – people who don’t belong in the world, persisting, watching other people prosper in their stead.  Envious?  Miserable?  Free, in a sense, but dying out.  Can you think of more examples?
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Nightmare Blunt Rotation

This phrase is going around, and it can mean one of two things.  Is the Nightmare Blunt Rotation when your fellow tokers act creepy when high, or when fools be having them vacuum lungs?

Proposal One:
Sam Harris
Charlie Kirk
Ben Shapiro
Clarence Thomas
JK Rowling

I don’t know if Jordan Peterson should be on there because how tf would you know the difference between him on bad weed and the way he is all the time?

Proposal Two:
Kenny G
The G-slur-named robot from MST3K
Mega-Maid of Spaceballs fame
Kirby of video game fame
Raziel the Soul Reaver
Rahzel the respiratorily gifted rapper

…the discourse rages on.

 

the big NBR
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I’m still running a fundraiser.  For the most recent info on that, see the post before the post before the post before this one. –goal met, fundraiser closed

Wrestling is the New Burlesque

You remember burlesque?  That was a thing a few years back, where the sex nerds would put on pasties and pretend to be vaudeville or something, didn’t happen to go to any myself.  I feel like there was a little stand-up clown sign outside the clubs which said “you need this many sex partners to enter.”  Which is great, you know, sex nerds deserve their diversions.  But it petered out.

Suddenly, I’m seeing all these poly and queer youths doing amateur wrestling.  What is that?  It’s certainly worse for your health than glitter lung.  Hell, some of them use glitter and still get the glitter lung as well.  But yeah, seems like wrestling is the new performance art for sex nerds.  The more you know.  And no kinkshaming in this, I just think, maybe don’t break your spines.  You only get one on this bitch of earth.

Thanks for listening.

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U Might Not be Aware of…

Coming soon to a something near you! Series in the vein of Unsolved Mysteries, In Search Of, and Look Around You: U Might Not be Aware of…

This week on You Might Not be Aware of… Monster Fuckers. Hot on the heels of the success of the fish fucking movie, a bunch of people on internet have decided to fly their freak flags a little higher, lose any shame they once possessed over the fact that they wanna fuck monsters.

They aren’t new, but they don’t really have a good name yet. Furries are furries, adult babies are adult babies, but monster fuckers are not, as yet, mentionable in polite conversation. What will they become known as, when they become more respectable? If that’s the right word?

Anyhow, the upcoming Venom movie is the newest thing to get ’em drooling. Enjoy that thought, because now…

U are aware of monster fuckers!

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