Latin Heat

Content warning: Misogynist Magic

Back on that Latin shit.  I was translating a spell and one particular scribal abbreviation was giving me the business.  It looks like “heat” with an arc over it.  I couldn’t easily track it down on internets, was looking for second opinions.  On the other hand, I think I’ve gotten a lot better at the transcription / de-abbreviation process than I was.  Check me out…

Including any grammatical and spelling mistakes of the original writer and likely adding my own, here you go:

“…et per omnes virtutes celorum , ut in hoc speculo hanc virtutem venire faciatus : et infundatis : ut quecunque mulier ut virgo , ut vidua intuita fuerit , ut nullam requiem sui corporis he^at : neque sedendo , neque stando : neque dormiendo , neque vigillando , neque comedendo , neque bibendo , neque aliquid faciendo : donec meas omnem voluntatem impleat :- ”

This is a spell to dominate women, because Renaissance wizards were incels.  Lacking any Latin skills, bouncing between wiktionary and google search and google translate, this is my rough interpretation of this part of the spell, slightly rearranged grammatically for ease of reading:

“…and by all the heavenly powers, as bound and established in this mirror: Whatsoever woman observed within, be she virgin or widow, shall not rest her body (he^at), shall not sit, not stand, not sleep, not see, not eat, not drink, not do a thing, until all satisfy my will.”

So what is the Latin “heat”?  Based on the usual way these abbreviations go, “hemat,” but what would that mean here?  This grimoire often reduces compound vowels from Latin to a single letter, for example turning ae into e, like in “celorum” from the first phrase.  The closest word then that I could find was “hiemat,” which would turn the phrase into something clunky like “shall not rest her body though it be winter.”  Also if this was a dip into Greek, it could be something to do with blood.  “Shall not rest her body though it bleeds.”

What do you think?

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Mortal Jelly

Humans are just piles of jibbly meat, highly derived structures propping up a primordial worm / digestive tract.  Our overdeveloped sensory processing node/brain wants something more.  In their earliest form, brains would have more basic info to process – dark/light, pain/satiation, things like that.  Is the human desire for a transcendant experience a misguided version of some kinda worm drive, wanting to move into the light inside the light?

Sometimes experiences feel like they’re touching on an abstract higher realm, like getting closer to god or transcendance or nirvana, whatever.  When I’ve felt this it’s usually from music or film, more rarely from physical experience.  It’s kind of like buzzing.  Like if your thoughts are all wave forms and they’re peaking.  Maybe transcendance is just your mind’s wave form hitting a ceiling, like a mistake in audio editing that causes a loud part of a song to turn into an obnoxious rattle.  We don’t like hearing that audio track, but if it had a sense of self, maybe it would feel pretty cool.

Anyway, listening to The Doors veers between wondering why you’re listening to this clownish nonsense and feeling like true magick is about more than just casting spells, maaaan.  I put my finger on the veins of the cosmos and find the pulse uncanny, retract.  Back to work.

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A Bad Dream

Content Warning: Gore, COVID

In my waking hours, I’m not concerned about COVID.  My household is fortunate to be able to isolate well, we live in a state doing better than most (though one of the worse cities in our part of it), and there’s very promising vaccine news floating about lately.  I think we can hold out ’til the stuff comes available, and while I can feel bad for victims, it’s not a very deep sorrow for me.

But apparently when I’m asleep it’s a different story.  I had a dream where COVID symptoms included hemorrhagic sores, open wounds, and plague-like swelling.  For unclear reasons the bodies of victims were in chopped-up chunks.  Still-living victims were burying the dead in mass graves at the sides of the road while the rest of us drove by.  There was blood soaking the ground in large patches.

India was having some success training animals like monkeys and wombats to help care for children with the disease, which was heart-warming.  I wondered in my dream if I should pay money to that charity, or if it would be better spent in helping research a cure.  I somehow ended up in an isolation cell with one of those plague children, which was sad and horrid, but I half-realized I was dreaming and was able to logic myself out – not fully awake, but to a previous area from the dream.

Somebody wondered on a previous post what a bad dream looks like to me.  This wasn’t the worst, but it was bad.

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Random Thoughts on Ethnic Stereotypes

The title of this post probably makes it sound like it will be more substantial.  No, this a Random Thoughts from Satan post, and not that deep.  I was just looking at the search “Hayden Christensen Movie Trailer” on youtube for laughs, and laugh I did.  But it occurred to me that in “Little Italy” he was essentially doing brownface.

As many people have pointed out, across the world there are varying definitions of white.  To a Persian guy in Iran, he’s white.  To a Berber in Egypt, she’s white.  It’s defined by having somebody darker than you, and usually further south.  So to some Germans, I expect, Italians are not white.  And by that definition, a Scandinavian Canadian with his hair darkened rocking a tan to flip pizzas would be doing brownface…  Although I found out he’s like 1/4 Italian, so *chef’s kiss* mama mia!  Uncancelled.

In all this I caught myself being amused at the cute ethnic stereotypes of the world, which is, I expect, not SJW kosher.  And yet, how can you not automatically be charmed by people with funny accents?  So cute.  One time I was in a basic English class at the community college, while I was reading aloud some depressing stuff I wrote, it prompted my teacher to say “My God man, are you a drinka?”

It was one of the highlights of my life, honestly.  He was so Jewish his name was Murray and he was from Brooklyn, where in the summers it was like a foinace, oy vay.  Freaking delightful.  I wonder, in places less mainstream blando Anglo-American, would my accent charm and amuse?

As an exemplar of the most over-represented culture on the planet, I kinda doubt it.  C’est lavie.  I’ll have to be cute in some other way.  Maybe my taste in shoes…

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Not a Bad Dream

Content Warnings: Surreal Violence, Death, Drugs, Prostitution, Deformity.

I had a dream I was Blixa Bargeld of Einstürzende Neubauten fame, though the rest of the band didn’t enter into it.  Me and some artist / drug friends were living in some kind of underground ruin over the course of a few decades.  In later years it also became a brothel and I was arguing with my best friend about allowing caning in the S&M action.  I don’t remember why I opposed it, but my friend the art pimp said we needed it to stay competitive.  The main points of action in the dream were when cops tried to raid us and it turned into big siege situations.  I killed a few cops in self defense and the defense of others, and somehow legally got away with it both times.  Those parts of the dream weren’t bad.  Later in the dream a sad prostitute with a elephant man-like skin condition and semi-liquid flesh started chasing me around and dividing like an amoeba, which wasn’t cool, but not as scary as it should have been.  I woke up to a day off from work, so not a bad time.

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Gonna Work on a Screenplay

Content Warning: This could be perceived as making light of gun violence and that ain’t cool.  But I’m an action movie fan, and this came to me in a dream, so I’m obligated to do what I can to make it a reality.  Unless, like, that ain’t cool.  Damn I could use a nap.

How do you like my screenwriter name?  The T is for Train.

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You Couldn’t Pay Me

Watching the debate?  Paying any attention whatsoever to the shitshow that is US politics, outside of the bare-ass minimum it takes to vote?  You couldn’t pay me to do it.  Not a fucking chance.  Not happening.  It’s all too upsetting and vile and fucked up.  But you know, maybe that’s an exaggeration.  Maybe somebody could pay me to do it.  Let me figure out how much…

I would have to quit work in order to make mental bandwidth for it, so you have to pay enough to cover my expenses for two years in case it takes a while to get rehired.  I make about $30,000 per year, so $60,000 is the price floor.  But exposing myself to this would make me less emotionally available to my family, so you gotta pick up the therapy bills for them.  Assuming two hours a night at $90 an hour from now through mid November (assuming this isn’t gonna go smooth), another $8,100.  And that’s just getting by, if I want compensation to make it feel like I came out ahead in the deal, how much will I charge to feel like it was worth it?

$100,000.  Anybody want me to cover the election, or even look upon the faces of our rock ’em sock ’em wannabe lich kings?  Full payment in advance, or you get nothing.  Thank you for your understanding.

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Edit to Add:  I forgot about the cost of healthcare in the US – going out of pocket for health insurance.  $400 a month for that Obamacare, $9600 more.  Assuming some medical expenses actually will come up, even with insurance I’m currently paying a few thousand a year for dental and such.  Let’s bump this up to $125,000, just for incidentals I haven’t planned for.

Last Demon Drop

This is the last one where I’ll be looking at demon descriptions, but I have a few other things I found in the book I’d at least like to touch on in future posts.  Once I’m done with all of this, I intend to bring the disparate sources together into a single demonology, more “authentic” in its underlying content, but with some art and ideas of my own as well.

Unless I’m mistaken:  “Lambes magnus rex et preses apparet insimilitudine mulierum : loquitur suave prestat amorem tam hominum quam mulierum : si exorcista volvent omnes homines ad amorem fuum povocare faciat imaginem auctam en cum vicinus fronte snibatur amor amore vincitur , et precipiat : ut consacret dando sibi talem virtutem , ut omnes utrius q3 sexua homines accedatur in amorem exorcista qui nullus presumat contra eum in alium farere ad tuum presignant . et habet sub se 19 legiones :–”

Best attempt, degenerates into extreme nonsense:  Lambes, great king and president, appears in the likeness of a woman, speaks pleasantly, gives love of both men and women.  When the exorcist turns all men who have love povocare? make picture subsequently and with close front fribatur? love is overcome by love, and commanded, or hallowing him with such power, or all / both genders of people allows in love for the exorcist, no presuming against him in another of nothing with your noteworthy. And has under him 19 legions.

Hilarious aside:  google translate says “prestat amorem tam hominum quam mulierum” means “I should love both men and women” – word to the wise MFers.  Go bi or go home.

Another stab at transcription:  “Torcha magnus marchio , et dux fortis apparet in similitudinem Grifonis : cum a?ut suscipit formam humanam loquitur rauca voce dupliciter : Ep?ot per ipsum omnes volucres ligare , et omnia volatilia que sunt supra terram , et in aere : qui si exorcista sapiens fint? unam avem ex ere faciet , et ipsam consecrari faciet sibi talem virtutem dando qui omnes aves liget sub voluntate exor : ita qui omnes aves coadimet in illa perte ubi est avis illa profita fuit? : et emittent dulciter cantus suos , et sint mansuete et humane voluntati obedientes in omnibus . Nota qui exorcista potest con ea omnes aves exprere f3 qui sibi p Lacuerit . Dat n dignitates exor. et illas confirmat:–”

Best effort, I got my ass kicked:  Torcha, great marquis and strong duke, appears in likeness of a griffon.  With another human form, speaks in a rough duplicitous voice (or two voices?).  By him all flying creatures can be bound, and all fowl which are over the earth and in air.   If the wise exorcist makes a bird of copper and consecrates it, he gives himself the power to have all birds bound willingly under him.  Ita qui omnes aves coadimet in illa perte ubi est avis illa profita fuit?  …and produces sweet songs, and without mansuete? and kindness willingly obeys in all.  Note who exorcist can with this/it all birds exprere? f3 who/which himself p lacuerit.  Gives dignities and confirms them.  …This one makes me want to take a long nap.

It’s the last guy in the book!  “Triplex fuie complex magnus dux et marchio Apparet insimilitudinem angeli pulchri : et est humilis et fidelus omnibus mandatis exorciste , et est ideo triplex : quia per en? possunt omnia triplinter ligari , et ideo potentior est alus . Ideo possunt ligari volucres bestie , serpentes , Basilisii , et dracones in puteis et internis : et facit ad voluntatem exorciste , reges , magnates , principes , et minores ad voluntatem : super tronum sedere coronam hns? auream que consecretur a predicto preside  ad tempustale . et ponatur in aula regis , ut in camera et habet sub se sua portate · 43 · legiones , et fuit de ordine principatus :– Amen :–”

Triplex ? complex great duke and marquis appears in likeness of a sexy angel, and is humble and faithful to all of the exorcist’s commands, and is therefore Triplex.  Because per en? they can all three be bound, and therefore strong are others (?).  Therefore they can bind flying creatures beasts serpents basilisks and dragons in pits and inside (?).  And at the will of the exorcist, makes kings, great princes, and servants subject to his will.  On thrones set crowns hns? of gold, which is to be consecrated on this president with such a time.  And on thrones are set crowns and places in a king’s court or room, and has beneath him carrying 43 legions, and is of the order of Principalities.  Amen.  (You can say that again!)

This is another one confirmed with an entry in The Book of Oberon, which really makes me wonder what books the author of that grimoire was looking at.  Enjoy the weird dipshit version of Triplex… Friblex!:  “42. Friblex a greate duke & a marques, & appeareth like an Aungell, he is both meeke & trewe,& that in all commaundements, of the Maister, & therfore he is called Friplex, & is the moremighty & hath under him 6 legions.”

In celebration of this milestone, have a marginalia weirdo: