There have been a lot of health problems and difficulties in our household this fall, a lot of stress. Usually my neurotypical sauce carries me through it all, but I’ve been feeling very emotionally raw, sensitive, anxious. Like I need to push, push, push. Do more. Conversely, feeling more sad than usual about the sad things. My closest biological fam all have bipolar with major depressive features, so safe bet this is some species of the same. Not likely to get any worse or go long term, just an aberration caused by a rough time.
You may have noticed the anti-AI contingent just stepped back into the ring. He can have the floor if he wants it. Continuing would be bad for my health. If you’ve seen my pinned post, you’ve seen the most important thing I have to say about that topic, to which the computer nerds have no useful retort.
What’s on my mind at the moment is how fucking often I’ve been saying fuck lately. Fuckity fuck fuck. Fuck this, fuck that. Give me the fucking money you fucking fuck… It’s too butch. Not that you can’t be a lady what curses the blue streak, but I owe it to myself to be less of an ogre.
I’ll be more of a lamia and eat your kids. Boogah! I kid, I kid…
But yeah, not so much fuck now. Not so much mania. Peace and love on mother earff. Silent hill, holy hill, all is calm, all is chill. Round yon virgin, new mexican whiptail lizard. Holey infant got crucifizard. Sleep in heavenly heaps. Sleep in heavenly heeeeaaaps.
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santa claus is twice as good as clive barker, who only resurrected one chopped up boy
We’re living through a particularly bad time in our country as a whole, and this time of year is when there’s unbelievable pressure on women to make everyone’s wildest Christmas wishes and dreams come true even if the women themselves are exhausted and physically ill. Also, don’t you live in a state that’s currently underwater? Any of those things would be stressful. Add them together, and that’s a major downer. Depression isn’t always pathological: sometimes it’s a normal response to what’s going on around you.
u kno it girlfriend. levee broke on this river like a few hundred feet from my home. our elevation has been missed by the worst of it, same river flooded lot of the town next door. 2:31 am, isn’t this cough medicine supposed to make me drowsy?
3:03 am maybe i should just get up and hang these garlands. falalalala.
the vibe at 3:17
i saw three shows at bumbershoot in key arena, and remember the crowd size and engagement for tmbg crushed these dudes and morcheeba too. nerds beating stoners for a minute, don’t know if i favor a side in that, but confess i was on my feet for tmbg.
work alarm goes off in four hours twenty five minutes
this prescription cough medicine is
bullshitsome old nonsense. (/she’s a lady by tom jones)@4: doncha know the garlands must be hung, the festival holiday candles burning, the tree(s) assembled and decorated, the cards written and mailed, the end-of-year charities remembered and acted on, the perfect gifts for everyone you’ve ever met remembered, bought, wrapped,and mailed (if appropriate), the end-of-year thank you tips assembled and given to any service person you’ve ever crossed paths with, 12 dozen cookies baked for the cookie swap, the Tree Angel kids bought for, the mandatory holiday potluck signed up for and the 4 hours of unpaid time at work compensated for in either unpaid overtime or your own meager paid leave, your contribution bought, prepared, and lugged in for work, the mandatory secret satan (sic) gift bought and wrapped, and the Christmas dinner planned and bought already, ready to be assembled on the day. And don’t forget to perform self-care for yourself so you can continue to be HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY and never once let on that you’re ready to tie a noose out of tinsel and hang yourself from the tree.
@3, hoping the rising waters continue to miss your place! Floods are no joke. You can shovel snow away from your front door, but you can’t keep water out.
Also added to my rant above, if you have kids, you can triple the amount of work because if you have more than one kid, each of them will have a mandatory-attendance holiday pageant at the same time (usually 10 am on a workday) in different places, and if you don’t attend each one, you are a HORRIBLE MOTHER and don’t deserve the name. Don’t even ask–of course THEIR mandatory fun times will conflict with your work mandatory fun time. And you’ll be tasked with providing some bullshit for their school events plus every other event they’re involved in (sports, extracurricular activities), which will also be having mandatory parties. And you should expect to simultaneously be invited to your friends’ parties and be required to hold your own parties for which the house has to be professionally cleaned and decorated.
But don’t forget to take time out for yourself! Sobbing exhaustedly in the shower counts as self-care, as it must because you must never let it slip that you’re not DELIRIOUSLY, PERFECTLY thrilled by all the hullaballoo.
u kno this doesn’t reflect the experience of my queer household, but miseries still manage to happen. funny that. i think i squeezed out about seven of the requisite forty winks. suffice it to say, called in sick again.
I kind of like the holiday season, but I live alone and my siblings and their families don’t expect too much from me in terms of gifts since I’m living paycheck to paycheck and have very little money to spare. A lot of my fondness probably comes from childhood nostalgia. For many people (perhaps the majority), I realize that this is actually the most stressful time of the year rather than the “most wonderful time”. It’s especially obvious since I work in retail – lots of stressed out people, both customers and fellow employees.
i worked retail at my last job, got that holiday funtime 4 sure. sweaty, wavering on the feet, throwing around giant tvs like sandbags in a flood zone. office job probably saving my life, hard as it can be.
but i dig holiday spargle. got two garlands up and i need a breather…
garlandry achieved at 2 pm, next come tha ballz
god i feel so weak and wretched
My Christmas tree is made of Lego. It’s in a box in the storage closet.
I will deploy it out on Christmas Eve and put it away on Boxing Day.
what else do you do, by way of celebration?
Pretties:
Bébé @17
Pretty much nothing. The last remnant of my family lives in the apartment next door.
There is only one person on my Xmas card list.
done and dusted
jm – that’s a lot
chigau – u gotta at least eat a seasonal food, drink a seasonal drink. c’mooon.
John Morales @18
Thank you for that.
It reminds me of my quest to learn Japanese.
Bébé
I will have a Swanson turkey TV dinner on the day.
I drink plenty, I don’t need to alter it.
wait
a few times I bought “Eggnog” at the grocery and was not satisfied so I made some based on “The Joy of Cooking”.
It was alot of work and was absolutely foul.
back to rum and water
i’ve blogged before about how i’d like jesus to come back so i can kill him again, but i gotta glitterbomb my domicile every year. and eat a few pomegranates and candy canes. at least a few.
I have never grokked pomegranates.
When “they” domesticated bananas, “they” did a right good job.
Why did a different “they” fail so bad with pomegranates?
I do my life by the clock.
Clock sez go to bed.
I obey.
may flights of angels yadda yadda