I Think I’m Doing It Wrong

… but at least I no longer worry I’m some sort of felon for de-godding some coins.

Take a look on eBay for “Cross Pennies”. I’ll try some links here, but they may break once the auctions are over.

You can buy a penny with a cross punched out of it… for a dollar. Or fifty of them, for $14.99. Or 100 of them, for $48.00 (different groups, different pricing). One penny and a prayer for $1.69. Or if you want a heartstring-tugging tag, a “2001 Lincoln Penny Cent Christian Cut Cross Memorabilia For 9-11 To Never Forget”.

There is also (not on eBay) a “cross pennies ministries”

You may have seen them lying around or given to you by complete strangers. Either way, these cross pennies have been used all over the world by missionaries and witnessers alike to spread the Word of Christ! The penny is the least of our coins in America and to many people, it is almost worthless. Though some find it hard to believe that something with such a small monetary value can mean so much just by stamping a cross into it, we as Christians find endless worth because through the witnessing that has resulted from it, lives have been added into the kingdom of GOD!

Actually, they have taken something of monetary value and made certain it is monetarily worthless, by punching a cross out of the middle of it. At least these people appear to charge only one cent per cross penny… well, that plus shipping. A flat rate of $5.50 per 1500 pennies. Compared to eBay, this is a deal!

So, while they are charging for nearly worthless coins rendered useless as change, my godless dollars are fully functional and making their way into the pockets of people who, if they find themselves offended by the coins… can spend them just as easily as any other dollars.

Hell, they can even use one to buy a penny with a cross-shaped hole in it… though they may have to chip in a bit more for shipping.

Guess God Was Only Ceremonial, After All

When grinding the “God” off your money, it’s funny,
It really brings home how the whole thing’s absurd
It’s patently clear—as I’m grinding, I’m finding
They think “God” is special; it’s only a word.
The metal where I am engraving’s behaving
Exactly the same as the rest of it does—
No magical force to make God’s word the odd word
As strong or as weak as the rest of it was.

Some see what I’ve done to a dollar, and holler
“Defacing our currency’s wrong, don’t you know?”
I’d call minting wrong in the first place the worst case
“God” didn’t belong, and so “God” had to go.
True, Congress won’t give God’s removal approval
But this is a cure that the law does allow
So these are the coins I’m intending on spending…
I like them much better the way they are now.

Pile of de-godded dollar coins

If the last post was “Before“, I suppose this one is “During”. “After” comes when these puppies are in circulation, which might be a bit harder to get pics of–or at least, more awkward. Again, greater context here.

This was trivially easy to do–on brand-new coins, it’s actually difficult to see that anything has been done at all; the coins are shiny enough that the freshly-exposed metal doesn’t stand out. On the older Sacajawea dollars (you can see one in the middle of the pile), the de-godification is a little easier to see, at least until the metal oxidizes again and it will look like regular wear.

The Current State Of The Political Race

With Democrats mostly extolling the polling
Republicans argue it’s biased or skewed;
They’re both showing near-universal commercials—
In swing states, the voters count thousands they’ve viewed!
This week marks the start of debating; we’re waiting
To see when the last “undecideds” might choose;
The very last moment, they “abracadabra!”
And magically say who will win; who will lose.

Though some leave predictions to mystics, statistics
Quite strongly, right now, lean the Democrats’ way;
That doesn’t stop Romney and Ryan from tryin’
(Their plans, true to form, they’re refusing to say)
The details we know are, at present, unpleasant—
And both sides have ads that they hope will appall…
With only mere weeks till the voting, I’m noting
Increasing desire to be rid of it all!

Image: Michael McRae

Blasphemy Day, Already?

Seems even more necessary this year. As I wrote before…

Blasphemy Day is important. Not for offending people, but for celebrating the right to speak without fear that such an offense can land you in jail, or worse. Political speech often offends me, but the rough-and-tumble of open political debate is a good thing. When we coddle ideas, we allow bad ones to flourish. Religious speech is, and should be, protected in the same sense that political speech is. This includes religious speech that the listener disagrees with. A day to celebrate this idea? I like it. More after the jump:
[Read more…]

Long Overdue Repairs

There’s a hole in the wall, where the wind can get in
And it’s been there for fifty-some years
It’s down near the floor, where it hardly gets noticed
Till a chase, when a mouse disappears

When wintertime comes, we can feel the cold air
And remember, that hole is the reason
But then something comes up; it’s forgotten again
And the hole sticks around one more season

So now, fifty years later, I finally thought
I might seal up that hole in my house
But while taking some measurements, strangely enough
I was stopped in my tracks—by a mouse!

“For fifty-some years”, he defiantly squeaked,
“We’ve been using this hole as our door!
Generations of mice have made trips through this hole
And we’re planning a great many more!”

“By leaving this hole as it is for so long
You have ceded all rights to repair it!
To you, it’s a hole, but to us it’s much more,
So the fact is, you’ll just have to share it!”

“This hole you’ve neglected is my hole as well;
Man and mouse have to just get along!”
I listened (astonished a mouse had just talked)
And I quietly told him “You’re wrong.”

A hole in my house is a hole in my house—
Fifty years doesn’t matter at all.
So I picked up my hammer, some nails and some wood
And proceeded to patch up the wall.

There’s a hole in the wall ‘tween the church an the state
And it’s been there for fifty-some years…
[Read more…]

Fasting And Praying… For Mitt?

If you’re feeling some frustration
With the leaders of this nation
Do your part to help them muddle through the mess
Politicians think it’s funny
Cos they really need your money
But it looks as though they’re getting rather less

Since Obama needs defeating,
Let’s help Romney, by not eating
As a show of faith, so God will take our side
Mitt needs help, without delay,
So let’s pray pray pray pray pray!
And, God willing, that must surely turn the tide

I’ll be fasting; I’ll be praying; I’ll be leading with my heart
Though I’ve done precisely nothing, still I feel I’ve done my part

I hear cynics sometimes saying
That they don’t believe in praying—
That it cannot make a difference, which we must!
All the pundits and the scholars
Say what matters more is dollars
But the bills remind us all “In God We Trust”

So I’m praying and I’m fasting—
My support is everlasting
Money’s worth is artificial–this is real!
That’s the sort of aid I’m choosing
So if Romney is still losing
Well, I’ve done my best; at least, that’s how I feel
[Read more…]

Science Fact > Science Fiction. Again.

After I posted today’s Headline Muse, the following leaped into my consciousness, unbidden:

Though it promised us trips through the stars,
Cryogenics, and yes, flying cars,
Science fiction must bow
To our science facts now…
That’s the word from our robot on Mars.

Science fiction is cool. It is. I remember reading about time travel, and human colonies on distant worlds, and paranormal abilities, and robots, aliens, androids, and the future of human evolution.

And it was really cool.

But I also remember us landing on the moon. And as cool as the possibility of the moon’s being made of green cheese was, a real human footprint beat that all to hell. And then there were the various probes, and the Hubble, and orbiters around distant planets.

And great science fiction is still great. But damn, we have landed a robot, with cameras and a laser and analysis equipment, on Mars. Mars. The quintessential science fiction planet. War of the Worlds. Please. The Martian Chronicles? Even the recent Doctor Who had The waters of Mars–and don’t get me started on Marvin the Martian. (I have no doubt that my readers are well aware that I have barely scratched the surface here, and that dozens more examples of Martian literature exist.)

And every day, the Mars Curiosity Rover is kicking the ass of every single one of these examples. In the same way that falling in love kicks the ass of reading about falling in love. As it always is, and always should be. Writing about Martians is different now… now that Curiosity is tweeting from Mars.

Headline Muse, 9/27

It’s a robot—not woman, nor man
And it’s doing the best that it can
Like its pictures, that showed
Where the water once flowed,
Making up an alluvial fan

Headline: Streams Of Water Once Flowed On Mars: NASA Says Photos Prove It

NASA’s Curiosity rover has found definitive proof that water once ran across the surface of Mars, the agency announced today. NASA scientists say new photos from the rover show rocks that were smoothed and rounded by water. The rocks are in a large canyon and nearby channels that were cut by flowing water, making up an alluvial fan.

“You had water transporting these gravels to the downslope of the fan,” NASA researchers say. The gravel then formed into a conglomerate rock, which was in turn likely covered before being exposed again.

No, no, no. They are missing the big picture.

I am alive at a point in history when humans have sent a fucking robot to fucking Mars, where it is doing experiments and taking pictures and answering questions that weren’t even questions until at most just a couple of generations ago. It was just over a century ago that the notion of canals on Mars was cutting edge science.

Everything about this is wonderful. Everything about this is cool. Everything about this is the future. Everything about this is making the science fiction of my childhood obsolete in the best possible way.

Again, I am forced to wonder, what will be next? Will this eventually be seen as the space equivalent of the Model T? Or the Mars equivalent of Apollo 11? Is this the beginning of much more, or a high-water mark not to be matched in our lifetime?

The choice, really, is ours.

Ceremonial De-Deism

I turned on my engraver, and I scratched a bit of metal
And repeated this procedure many times
Now I’m looking at a little pile of atheistic money—
Godless nickels, godless quarters, godless dimes
If you want a godless penny, I’ve got some, but not too many
And I don’t have any dollar coins so far
Now you might well find it funny, scratching “God” off all my money
But you know? I like them better as they are.

So I saw the “atheists are hypocrites if they spend money, cos it says ‘In God We Trust’ on it” argument one too many times. And I’ve decided that from now on, whenever I see that argument made, I’m going to de-god another big batch of coins. I already have a marker I use on bills, but paper money only stays in circulation for maybe a couple of years, whereas coins stick around for decades. And yes, I just got done de-godding a big batch this morning, while waiting for a battery to charge so I could do my next task.

I’ve also decided that any and all donations to this site (there’s a donate button down there on the right) will be converted to coins and de-godded. Then comes the fun part–getting them into circulation. Coins tend to stick around in mason jars or cracked mugs until you get fed up and decide to roll them up and bring them to the bank–or worse, to a coin-star machine (why would anyone use those?). Godless money, on the other hand, I am very motivated to get into circulation. So I’ll be an atheist benefactor, topping off parking meters, pre-loading washing machines at the local laundromats (hey, people who use laundromats are generally people who could use some help–I remember those days well), throwing a handful of quarters into the buskers’ guitar cases, loading up the UNICEF boxes at halloween… and, yes, spending them myself–I’m only a part-time altruist; I do need to eat. But now, each quarter (or, if any of you are extremely generous, I’ll have the chance to wear out my engraver on some dollar coins!) spent will have two purposes–helping a particular individual, and spreading godless money.

Does this seem a tad obsessive? Not at all; it is the tiniest fraction of the effort used to put God on all that money in the first place. You want obsessive, try looking at the members of Congress who continue to affirm a motto that is in no danger of ever being recognized as the violation of the first amendment that it is. If this is simply ceremonial deism, then I am doing precisely nothing to these coins.

Call it ceremonial de-deism.