Almost Heaven?

My goodness, what they put in the water in West Virginia! But that’s the price of Freedom. Freedom Industries, that is.
From the first link:

The Freedom Industries president downplayed the chemical’s health effects, saying it has “very, very low toxicity” and poses no danger to the public.

Strange… I originally posted the following as a metaphor. Never really thought I’d repost it so literally.

There was poison in the water
And it wasn’t fit to drink;
So we got ourselves together
And we had a little think… [Read more…]

Dammit, I Did It Wrong

My commenters saw through my evil plot:

I think, for the year, I will write in prose only;
no rhyme and no meter, no scansion, no verse.
Iambic pentameter? Perish the notion!
We’ll see if my writing gets better… or worse.
A year without sonnets, or ballads, or limericks;
a year without couplets or bad villanelles;
a year when my thoughts must be written, unfiltered
by badly-forced rhymes jammed in metrical shells.
I’ve posted in quatrains; I’ve posted in couplets;
I’ve posted a few in a form of my own.
I’ve written more verse than I care to remember,
in forms more diverse than most people have known!
But now, for one year, I will change up my thinking;
I’ll curb my obsession with meter and rhyme.
Or maybe I won’t, cos this “try it a year” bit
is silly, and simply a waste of my time.

This was, in fact, a commentary on the pastor’s year of living godlessly. It seems an honest try, and not a con, but stranger things have happened. We shall see.

The odds of my ability to change, to see the world and not look first for rhymes, are small. I’d have to wholly re-arrange my thoughts (already strained enough, at times). We can, with practice, change our usual ways of doing things; we are not set in stone. But wow, it’s hard—a year’s a lot of days, and who’s to say it’s worth it, once it’s done? So, no, I think I’ll keep on writing verse, pretending it’s a blessing, not a curse.

Giving Up Rhyming For A Year

I think, for the year, I will write in prose only; no rhyme and no meter, no scansion, no verse. Iambic pentameter? Perish the notion! We’ll see if my writing gets better… or worse.

A year without sonnets, or ballads, or limericks; a year without couplets or bad villanelles; a year when my thoughts must be written, unfiltered by badly-forced rhymes jammed in metrical shells.

I’ve posted in quatrains; I’ve posted in couplets; I’ve posted a few in a form of my own. I’ve written more verse than I care to remember, in forms more diverse than most people have known! But now, for one year, I will change up my thinking; I’ll curb my obsession with meter and rhyme.

Or maybe I won’t, cos this “try it a year” bit is silly, and simply a waste of my time.

Ken Ham Clearly Doesn’t Believe (I Hope)

So I was just out walking the cuttledogs, and it occurred to me that the whole notion of a Noah’s Ark Theme Park showed either an incredible lack of belief on the part of the planners, or a psychopathic lack of empathy.

I mean, it’s a theme park. Think Disney. But it’s built around the greatest (by percentage, at least, if not in real numbers) genocide in history (assuming, for the time being, that the planners actually believe the Noah story). Men, women, children, toddlers, babies… dogs, cats, horses, cows… bunnies, slow lorises, baby hedgehogs… all of them, bloated, stinking corpses. Family fun for everyone! (seriously, click the link–this is what the flood ride would be, were it true to the bible)

One simply cannot have a realistic picture of what the flood allegedly entailed, and believe it appropriate for a family theme park. Ham either does not believe, or lacks any shred of empathy whatsoever.

It gets worse. Remember, the ark was the centerpiece of the park, but was by no means the whole thing. There would be rides. Remember, one of the rides (I shit you not) was (again, think Disney, but on acid) a “Ten Plagues Of Egypt” theme ride! Family fun, with blisters and boils, locusts and lice, blood and death! (Again, click the link for one of my favorites–no one who believed the story would ever suggest it as a theme park ride!)

Imagine a much smaller genocide, with a much smaller fraction of the world’s population put to slaughter. Can you imagine a family-friendly Holocaust theme park? Hop on the trains, kiddies? It sickened me to write that last sentence, and yet I wrote the verses at the two links above–what’s the difference?

The difference is, I believe (I was going to write “I know”, but I’ll settle for the weaker “I believe”) that the bible’s account is false. It’s fiction. It didn’t happen. There were no real victims (well… belief in “the curse of Ham” was not victimless), so I can write about bloated bodies and plagues of locusts. It’s simple–I don’t believe. The only ones who could treat such a genocide lightly are those who don’t believe. Those for whom the flood, and the ten plagues, are nothing more than a chance to fleece those who do believe.

.

.

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I do wonder, though, who would invest, and who would want such a thing built. Is everyone so mercenary? Are there any true believers who think the Ark Park is appropriate? And why?

Chris Christy–Model Politician

My eyes are getting misty
As I listen to Chris Christie
While he shows us his sophisti-
Cated grasp of how things are
So he canned some staffer lady
Cos she acted really shady
Which I heard on local radi-
O, while sitting in my car

I’ve been stuck here since September
(When my rage was but an ember)
Now I’m furious, remember-
Ing this traffic jam from hell;
Who’s the scapegoat? Bridget Kelly,
And Chris Christie’s doing swell-he
Showed us all that he can dele-
Gate, and really do it well

Now he’ll finish up his presser
A defiant non-confessor
Though we know he’s an accessor-
Y, a bully, and a jerk
All those vicious lies need quashing:
He’s not bullying, just joshing,
So let’s send the man to Washing-
Ton and let him get to work!

My prediction: All of this will have been forgotten by the short-attention-span public, and do Christie no lasting harm. Besides, who else do the Republicans have?

Satanist, Atheist; Tomayto, Tomahto

The folks at Fox News have been hatin’ on Satan;
The thought of him sickens their good Christian hearts
A statue? in public? And Gretchen was retchin’,
While all of her guests played their usual parts:
“That statue’s offensive! It’s hateful! A state full
Of Christians would never have voted it in!
Majority rules—you don’t like it? Then hike it
To some other state that might tolerate sin!”

Conservative pundits are trying, by lying,
To claim the majority writes all the laws
Their cry “it’s Commandments we follow!” rings hollow:
They always forget the establishment clause
Not wanting to, yet, let them all in, they’re stallin’—
They’ll wait, while this case makes its way through the courts
In the meantime, the Decalogue only, so lonely,
Cries out to be joined by some goat-headed sorts.

Yeah, well, ok, I’m not really happy with this verse, so I’ll post it quick before I just throw it away. It started out as a comment on Gretchen Carlson’s innocent gaffe, then took a detour into the shouting match her guests launched (have you ever noticed how few guests actually answer the questions they’ve been asked? They answer completely different questions instead, loudly and independently of whether anyone else is talking), then into a vague commentary on the whole satanic statue thing. So it needs a good editing… which would kill the meter and rhyme. What ya gonna do?

There is much fodder for hair-pulling at that link, though. Misrepresentation of the Satanists who are proposing to donate the monument (satanists, rather, are the stuff of pulp novels, B movies, and Chick Tracts), “majority rules” being demanded by the Jewish talking-head (who asks “what did goats ever do? I don’t know why they are having to suffer.”… forgetting that his own religion gave us the “scapegoat”), a member of a smaller minority than atheists; Gretchen’s “the rabbi has a good point” after the rabbi’s alleged point disappeared in a haze of shouting…

Oklahoma Satanist Monument Now Fully Funded

That didn’t take long. As of this posting, they have $20,389 $21,455 of their proposed $20,000.

I like commenter Randomfactor’s idea; the statue should have built-in webcam eyes. Maybe a few more bucks… reading the various stories on this proposed statue, there is no shortage of volunteers ready to welcome it with open arms (of the second amendment sort), sledgehammers, chisels, jackhammers… it would be nice to have good, clear video of these nice people.

Freedom of religion means
My statue gets to stay,
And I get to tear down anything
That gets in my one’s way.
My monument must stand alone
For everyone to see…
No other statues anywhere–
That’s how we know we’re free.

Proposed Oklahoma Satanist Monument Is Really Quite Gorgeous

Though they’re looking for permission,
They’ve not quite received it yet;
But the Satanists’ new statue—
The goat-headed Baphomet—
Is more stunning than the Decalogue
Of simple, stark, black granite
By the Oklahoma capitol,
The place where they began it

If it’s deemed a public forum
Baphomet will find a spot
Just as public, to be legal,
As the one the Christians got
And the icing on the cake, you see,
The feather in their cap—
When the people come to visit
They can sit on Satan’s lap.

If the monument’s rejected
(Why they might, I cannot say)
Then, of course, the Ten Commandments
Should not, can not, must not stay:
Though a monument of Baphomet
Quite frankly, looks like fun…
Soon the place could get quite crowded,
And it must be all… or none.

Via Hemant, it seems the Satanic Temple has unveiled their proposed monument, to sit beside the black granite decalogue in Oklahoma City, at the capitol. Some sources are referring to it as a statue of Satan, others to a statue of Baphomet… it’s far more aesthetically pleasing than the old Ten Commandments monument. And, frankly, much more than the atheist bench in Florida.

Still, though, I would rather have a nice empty lawn–someplace the dogs can run.

Proposed Statue of Baphomet, the goat-headed deity.

Image credit: the Satanic Temple

Supremes Halt Same-Sex Marriage In Utah, While Under Appeal

Though we thought that an era had passed
It was, maybe, too perfect to last
Hundreds thought they were wed
Now the court says, instead,
“Equal treatment? Hang on, not so fast!”

It took a while–long enough for hundreds of same sex couples to have already wed–but the highly-expected appeal finally came through, and same sex marriage in Utah is on hold:

The terse order, from the full court, issued a stay “pending final disposition” of an appeal to the federal appeals court in Denver. It offered no reasoning.

This kinda-sorta happened in California, earlier, when the supremes danced around the issue instead of taking it on:

Judge Shelby was only the second federal judge to strike down a state ban on same-sex marriages, along with Judge Vaughn R. Walker in San Francisco, who in 2010 struck down Proposition 8, California’s ban. That ruling was stayed while it was considered by an appeals court, which affirmed it, and by the Supreme Court.

In June, the Supreme Court effectively sustained Judge Walker’s decision on technical grounds and without reaching the question of whether there is a constitutional right to same-sex marriage.

So the couples in Utah had longer than the few hours some expected, but their concerns were dead on.

Pastor Tries To Walk On Water Like Jesus (Spoiler: Fails, Drowns)

Pastor Franck Kabele did his best to walk on water
He drowned, which gives a hint, perhaps, he really hadn’t oughter;
A tip, to those who emulate the miracles of Jesus:
You want to walk on water? Best to wait until it freezus.

(Edit–see the first comment; I screwed up. On the other hand, most of my comment is about the comments at allchristiannews, rather than about the alleged incident, so I’ll leave this post, with that caveat.)

Via AllChristianNews.com, a story that should (but doesn’t) serve as a cautionary tale:

Walking on water is not easy. Not too many people have the ability. Let’s see, there’s Jesus, and well, that’s about it. Unfortunately for one pastor on the West Coast of Africa, his attempt to become the second man to make this impossible feat a reality cost him his life.

Pastor Franck Kabele, 35, told his congregation that he was capable of reenacting the very miracles of Jesus Christ. He decided to make it clear through way of demonstration on Gabon’s beach in the capital city of Libreville.

Referencing Matthew 14:22-33, Kabele said that he received a revelation which told him that with enough faith he could achieve what Jesus was able to.

I’ve known a few pastors; without exception, they were intelligent, compassionate, good men and women. Sure, I’ve seen examples of bad pastors, but none in person. This man, as far as I know, was a good and honest man, whose only fault was immersion in a belief system that likely convinced him of its reality while he was but a child. It is religion, not religious people, that is defective.

Which is something to keep in mind, should you choose to read the comments there. Quite a mix–some insist Kabele had insufficient faith (he had sufficient faith to make the attempt, though!); some deplore (while others defend) the role of Christianity in combat with indigenous religions; some call this yet more evidence against the myths of the bible; others point to the overwhelming evidence for Jesus’ existence (and are immediately asked for said evidence, which never fails not to satisfy).

My favorite, so far is this comment, in response to a “have you even read the bible? I have!” sort of comment:

…Yes. I’ve read it cover to cover. Along with thousands of other books, through the decades. I have a doctorate in world religion, and degrees in ancient civilizations, earth sciences, and am currently working on a three volume medical encyclopedia looking at the etiology of diseases and seeking investments for research I think will cure a few. So, yeah, I’m pretty knowledgeable about a great many things. Before you ask a question, be ready for the answer. I also happen to be indigenous Native American and from a long line of priests and prophets. What I said to you you can bank on. You will soon discover if God is real because you will be seeing Him face to face or staring at a blank screen if you choose to believe that. You have a short road ahead of you. And it has nothing to do with your cynicism or “religion”. It is your destiny and one you have chosen. Remember that. No more engagement with you. Too busy. Peace.

An impressive person–from a long line of priests and prophets, holds a Ph. D., is “Pastor and Founder at Crusade for Christ True Gospel Institute for Creative Science”. Them’s some serious bona fides.

Oh, if you actually look at her institute, she also goes by “Rabbi”, so I think that might be BINGO by this point. And apparently, she has big news… this was posted today:

SAINTS IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU ALL BE AT SERVICE TODAY FOR THE PROPHETIC PREVIEW OF WHAT IS HAPPENING ON OUR PLANET RIGHT NOW. THIS AFFECTS US ALL. I REALIZE IT IS COLD AND A BIT RAINY THIS AM. BUT THE RAIN WILL PASS AND THE COLD WILL BE TOLERABLE. WHAT I HAVE TO SAY IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO BRAVE THE CHILL AND BE PRESENT. BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT YOU WILL NOT HEAR THIS ANYPLACE ELSE. FURTHER, YOU SHOULD CALL UP A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER AND INVITE THEM TO COME. IF SOMEONE DOESN’T HAVE A RIDE AND YOU HAVE TRANSPORTATION TO BRING THEM, BE UNSELFISH AND DO SO. YOU DO NOT NEED TO MISS THIS INSIGHT INTO THE FUTURE. IT MAY NOT COME AGAIN. YOU ALL KNOW I DON’T DO THIS OFTEN AND WHEN I DO, YOU CAN BANK ON IT.

The service was due to start at 2:30 PM, so I assume the announcement was already made, but there is no update. Maybe the world ended, I don’t know.

But hey, this sort of announcement does not come every day. I mean, compare to yesterday:

Shalom. Pausing to thank Bro. Albert for taking time out of his busy schedule to help with the heating system. We should be fairly warm for the extra cold days. Monday is expected to be in teens. Also saints, my budget for this week is $2000. Join with me in prayer to meet this goal. I think those of you who have followed this ministry through the years know that every dollar invested is one we have labored for and one we do not misuse. Tried and tested through the years, we stand. Unshaken. Support what gives you life~ Rabbi Khelama

So, anyway, my saints, the cuttlebudget for this week is … dammit, I just can’t. I just know that she is asking more in donations in a week than I made in book sales in 5 years. Much, much more.

Anyway, I’ve gotten off topic. Pastor Kabele appears to have died because of his belief. Rabbi Khelama appears to be doing very well in the same system (well, broadly the same system). In both cases, frankly, the system of religion stinks.