Headline Muse, 9/10

New changes in customs and laws
Show success in a worthwhile cause
Life as a shark
Is no walk in the park
Cos Man is the bad guy in “Jaws”

Headline: Making Headway in the Movement to Protect the World’s Sharks

A mostly optimistic article–successes on several fronts, including both legal prohibitions on possession of shark fin (unless you happen to be a shark), and social and ad campaigns which have cut the popularity of shark fin soup in China and elsewhere.

This is no small problem:

In an increasingly prosperous Asia, the market for the soup has grown drastically, causing overfishing around the globe. The presence of the once-common hammerhead in large parts of the western Atlantic, for example, has decreased by up to 89 percent over the last 25 years.

And it is not easy to stop, when money is involved, even when appropriate laws are in place. But as the headline suggests, change is at hand.

9/11 Conspiracy Theorists Eat Their Own

If you look at all the evidence
There’s only one conclusion:
A government conspiracy
And not just mass confusion.
The seeming contradictions are
Quite easy to condemn;
You say that they’re convincing? Why,
You must be one of them.

Podblack just sent me a link to a series of stories on Slate on 9/11 conspiracy theorists (“Truthers”). I find these people fascinating–I know a handful of them personally–and a wonderful example of belief perseverance in the wild. The linked story is quite unusual (but see below*) in that it reports, in part, on truthers who have come to doubt the consipiracies they have long supported.

More after the jump:
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The Credible Threat

There is a lot of talk about a current “credible threat” of terrorism on the anniversary of 9/11. I suspect I am thinking of a different man than “they” are.

If a man whom you met
Was a “credible threat”
There’s no way that you’d let
Him evade you
And if somehow you knew
Your suspicion was true
What could anyone do
To dissuade you?

You’re the patriot type
And you’re not one to gripe
But you see through the hype
That they feed you
And you’re always aware
And you think that it’s fair
For your country, you’re there
When they need you.

With the hour growing late
There is no more debate
There are people who hate
And detest us
And they’ll cheat and they’ll lie
(Which they’ll always deny)
Through their teeth, as they’re try-
ing to best us

A religious extrem-
ist whose ultimate dream
Is that faith will redeem
Us, is scary
There’s a face in that frame
And we learn, to our shame
That this lunatic’s name…

Is Rick Perry
[Read more…]

Headline Muse, 9/9

At the tail of the red distribution
Where they love to deny evolution
There’s a troglodyte sort
With a strange sense of sport,
Who will cheer and applaud execution

Headline: GOP Debate: Thou shalt kill, cheer the Republicans

MODERATOR BRIAN WILLIAMS: Governor Perry, a question about Texas. Your state has executed 234 death row inmates, more than any other governor in modern times. Have you…

(APPLAUSE)

Have you struggled to sleep at night with the idea that any one of those might have been innocent?

PERRY: No, sir. I’ve never struggled with that at all. The state of Texas has a very thoughtful, a very clear process in place of which — when someone commits the most heinous of crimes against our citizens, they get a fair hearing, they go through an appellate process, they go up to the Supreme Court of the United States, if that’s required.

But in the state of Texas, if you come into our state and you kill one of our children, you kill a police officer, you’re involved with another crime and you kill one of our citizens, you will face the ultimate justice in the state of Texas, and that is, you will be executed.

WILLIAMS: What do you make of…

(APPLAUSE)

What do you make of that dynamic that just happened here, the mention of the execution of 234 people drew applause?

PERRY: I think Americans understand justice. I think Americans are clearly, in the vast majority of — of cases, supportive of capital punishment. When you have committed heinous crimes against our citizens — and it’s a state-by-state issue, but in the state of Texas, our citizens have made that decision, and they made it clear, and they don’t want you to commit those crimes against our citizens. And if you do, you will face the ultimate justice.

I once worked in a lab where we occasionally had to cull rats. It was not taken lightly; if you wanted that job, you could not have it. The idea was, killing is not trivial. This was with rats.

Perry has never struggled with killing his fellow human beings. Not even Cameron Todd Willingham, who (read the link) very likely did not commit the crime he was executed for. If Perry does not struggle with that, he is (not a professional diagnosis, but true nonetheless) a sociopath.

Edited to add…

I was so outraged by Perry’s comments that I completely forgot to be outraged by the fact that the fucking audience fucking applauded his fucking words. And the odds are that the vast preponderance of those clapping bastards are self-professed christians.

No Clergy At 9/11 Ceremony?

We’d like a moment of your time
At most, a single minute—
We’ve noticed, the memorial
Has got no clergy in it.

There are both friends and family,
And those who joined the search,
But missing from the program here?
The Southern Baptist Church!

New York is such a melting pot—
It always has been thus—
The program can’t fit everyone;
I’m sure there’s room for us

Some churches might not want a spot
Like Methodists, or Jews—
If you asked the local Muslims, why
I’m sure that they’d refuse

The Mormons probably want to,
But they’re really just a cult
And I really think they ought to be
Turned down, as a result.

When you look with cold-eyed reason
It is obvious to see
There’s no reason for inviting
Any clergymen but me

I’ve considered all the angles, and
I really think it’s best…

And it’s simply un-American,
Denying my request!

A bit more after the jump:
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Billboards And Billboards

Stephanie Zvan, over at Almost Diamonds, has a nice bit up on privilege, billboards, and thinking of the children. Oh, and an introduction to yet another person you should be reading. Given how busy today is about to be, I’ll post this one from the old blog and let you go read Almost Diamonds.

When they pass the plate on Sunday, and we put our money in,
They assure us that it lets the Church do good
So we dig a little deeper—being selfish is a sin—
And we donate like the Bible says we should.

Though we haven’t got much money, we still give as best we can,
Every Sunday morning, roughly ten o’clock
Now we see our small donations help a much, much bigger plan,
Cos we’ve got the biggest billboard on the block!

Every church around has got one, and there’s some with five or six
Praising Jesus and inviting folks to come
There are dozens in the city, and there’s more out in the sticks
And they must have cost a mighty godly sum!

When “Our Lady Of The Blessed Heart”, the local Catholic Church,
Put their new one by the highway overpass
We just couldn’t let it stand like that, with us left in the lurch;
Our humongous billboard really kicked their ass!

We’ve competed now for decades, with our steeples and our signs,
Till the megachurches left us in their dust;
And it might be steeple envy, if you read between the lines,
But there’s something now that fills us with disgust!

Yes, the godless heathen atheists, the lowest of the low,
Have a billboard that they want to put in town!
If they try it, though, I’m telling you (and really, I should know)
If they put it up, we’re gonna burn it down.

What a waste of their resources! Why, that money’s better spent
Housing homeless, feeding hungry, helping poor;
For a message on a billboard should be strictly heaven-sent—
That for all your problems, Jesus is the cure!

quite a bit more, after the jump:
[Read more…]

God O, Vader 1

It took 80 years to build it, in the European style
It was chiseled out of limestone, meant to stick around a while
The cathedral’s vaulted ceilings and its celebrated towers
Were a physical reminder of God’s powers

Now the national cathedral is a victim of the quake
See, limestone’s great for stacking, but it doesn’t like to shake
Was it purely seismic forces here that led to some collapse
Or is something greater happening, perhaps?

The cherubim and seraphim have fallen to the roof
No casual observer could demand a better proof
Lord Vader’s fearsome visage is untouched on the façade
Where he mocks the claimed omnipotence of God.

We’d be foolish to ignore them, as the signs and signals grow
Someone’s sending us a message—“Under God” has got to go
And we’ll have to change the slogan on our currency, of course
To the safer hollow motto, “Trust The Force”

Explanation, after the jump:
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Thought I Saw Another Atheist…

I’ve gotten a few comments and other sorts of feedback on yesterday’s verse from the old blog, and since today is such a busy day, I’m just going to throw two additional old “I thought I saw an atheist” posts up, with contexts and all, from the old place. The verse form lends itself to these things, and two incidents came up which needed commenting on.

After the jump:
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I Thought I Saw An Atheist

I thought I saw an atheist, once, walking down the street.
I checked for horns, I checked for tail, I checked for cloven feet;
Began to tremble frightfully—my heart was in my throat—
Then sighed in happy recognition, for ‘twas but a goat.

I thought I saw an atheist, down near a swollen stream
With scaly skin, and blood so cold, I couldn’t breathe to scream!
I looked into his bulging eyes, and prayed “God, grant my wish”
Then laughed in my embarrassment—it only was a fish.

I thought I saw an atheist, with fur and pointed claws,
And wicked teeth for chewing up Judeo-Christian laws,
I ran, and tripped, and fell to earth, then hid behind a log—
It caught me, though, and licked my face—of course, it was a dog.

I thought I saw an atheist, though cleverly disguised
Not giant and reptilian, but human, normal sized,
It looked to be engaging in productive, useful labor;
But no, this was no atheist—this person was my neighbor!

I thought I saw an atheist; in fact, I saw a few!
My neighbor, and the grocer, and the cop, and maybe you!
I even found some in the church, right there beneath the steeple;
It turns out, to my great surprise… that atheists are people.

A few comments after the jump:
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