Give, Give, Give

You can give to remember your favorite teacher
Or give to show up that TV preacher
Maybe you give cos you think it’s funny
Or maybe you don’t like the feel of your money
Give cos you’re down and you need the lift
That comes from giving a useful gift
You can give out of fear of the budget axes
Or give for deductions on next year’s taxes
You can give by Visa or Mastercard
Just give, give, give! It’s not that hard!

Give—you’re investing, or planting a seed
When you’re giving to classrooms, the things that they need
Give cos you know it’s the right thing to do
Or give cos you’re sniffing the wrong kind of glue
Give, cos you the money you give Donors Choose
Helps children to win, when they’d otherwise lose
You can give by the bushel, or give by the yard
You could give with your roommate’s credit card
You could give out of anger—I don’t see how—
But give, give, give! Give now, now, now!

You can give by Paypal or personal check
If you’re Kirk, you can give from your holodeck
You can give out of sympathy; give out of hope
Give cos you’ll otherwise sit there and mope
Give cos you’re losing (or winning) some bet
Give to a friend whom you haven’t yet met
Give till it hurts, or give till it helps
Give just to piss off the Reverend Phelps
Give cos it helps to get children to think
I don’t care why—just click the link!

(You know, that link over there to the right) ——->
Tim Minchin’s reason to give, after the jump:
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Arkansas Atheist Bus Ads Debut

Eighteen buses
Zero fusses
It shouldn’t seem so odd
Lots of plusses:
Sign discusses
“Are you good without God?”

Bus campaign
Makes it plain
Godless are people, too.
Nice refrain—
Not profane—
Probably overdue.

Federal law
In Arkansas
Allowed a large deposit
Some foresaw
A target’s draw
With atheists out of the closet

But eighteen buses
Zero fusses
It shouldn’t seem so odd
Lots of plusses:
Sign discusses
“Are you good without God?”

Story after the jump:
[Read more…]

Headline Muse, 10/4

It’s not fair! It’s not fair! It’s not fair!
Good TV is already too rare!
But now, it appears
After twenty-three years,
The Simpsons may go off the air!

Headline: Money dispute may halt ‘Simpsons’

Fox (the people who say millionaires can’t afford to be taxed) are trying to cut the pay for the Simpsons voice actors, from nearly 8 million to around 4 million per season. The Simpsons was, of course, a spinoff of the Tracey Ullman show, and Groening’s characters have been with the network from the start.

Speaking of battles for money, I thank those who have already donated to Donors Choose, and gently remind one and all that the widget is sitting there waiting for you. I’ve already heard back from one teacher with thanks. The way I figure it, I’m writing, you’re reading, we are the ones who ought to be thanking the teachers.

And now, you may argue over whether the Simpsons jumped the shark a decade ago….

Major Motion Picture Event

Over at Zingularity, reports of a new major motion picture event–a $150 million dollar retelling of the Noah’s Ark story. I do so hope they go with the “gritty realism” school of movies. If they do, I have the first draft–well, second, I guess, if the bible is the first draft–of their movie all set to go!

Bring popcorn, and meet me after the jump:
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Getting Out The Dominionist Vote

There are demons in the water
There are demons in the air
There are demons in the people
There are demons everywhere!

Let us cast away your demons—
We can put them in a goat—
You can safely go to heaven;
It will only cost your vote.

On the eve of the elections
We are putting out the call:
It’s Dominionists or Demons;
Only one can rule us all!

Don’t you want to go to Heaven?
Don’t you want to be God’s child?
You must vote the way we tell you…
And the devil slowly smiled.

Important cool stuff, after the jump:

[Read more…]

Donors Choose

“But look at the good that religions can do;
The hospitals, daycares, the soup kitchens too
They all let the love of the savior shine through
Like the light of the overhead sun”

Your invisible god has a bit of a quirk:
That good—every bit—is from people at work;
And working, not praying (“just clasp hands and shirk”)
Is how you get anything done.

So please join with me, and this atheist squad
(though your money’s still good if you worship a god,
Or an idol, a tree, or a cephalopod—
There’s really no way you can lose).

And click on the widget; follow the link
Root round a bit, and give it a think
And you’ve really helped students, as quick as a wink
By giving to Donors Choose

more, after the jump:
[Read more…]

Christians, Uniting

When I was in grade school, the young boys would fight
In the playground, to see whose religion was right
The Baptists, the Lutherans, the Methodists, too,
A handful of Catholics—well, more than a few—
A couple of Mormons, and some I-don’t-knows
Would argue religion, and soon come to blows

Too young to have had a good grasp of their fables
This battle of faiths was a fight between labels
“You’re wrong, and I’m right!” “I’m right and you’re wrong!”
We’d huff and we’d puff, and it wouldn’t take long
Before someone would lose it, and then throw a punch—
In the end, bloody noses, and icepacks at lunch.

Religion means splitting, and schisms and sects,
Perhaps inquisitions (which no one expects)
It’s in-group and out-group in sanctified form
Where “us versus them” is accepted as norm
Believers may gather as sisters and brothers
But often to join in a fight against others

So when did it change? When did Christians unite?
When did so many sects come together to fight?
It’s the strange sort of bedfellows politics makes
When the Truest of Christians align with the fakes
All good politicians, like God, will take notes—
And it’s all about winning. It’s all about votes.

Context, after the jump:
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One Person Per Car

Look at them driving—one person per car—
Some driving forever; some not very far
They want to be somewhere that’s not where they are
So off they go driving, one person per car.

Some drive for a living; some drive just for fun
Some drive to the gym, then get out and go run
Then a bottle of juice and an energy bar
And away they go driving, one person per car

It’s not that they’re lazy, or selfish, or mean
Or under the thumb of some wastefulness gene
It’s not that they’re stupid; they’re not unaware
And it’s certainly not that they just don’t care
They’re the same as I am, and the same as you are
But off they go driving, one person per car

The drivers are heard to complain as they pass,
Of the costs of insurance, the high price of gas,
The taxes, inspections, repairs and the lot,
And there’s practically never a good parking spot
And the traffic! Imagine the time they have lost
As they sit, breathing everyone else’s exhaust
Till the roofs of their mouths taste of asphalt and tar
And they sit there—just sit there—one person per car

The car manufacturers sound a bit troubled;
They wish that their mileage could somehow be doubled
Without major changes—or any at all,
Cos the public won’t buy if the car is too small
It has to have room for a trip to the shore
With a couple of riders, perhaps three or four
And they need to have room for the blankets and gear
For the trips they might take, maybe one time a year
But of course they spend most of their hours, by far
Just sitting in traffic, one person per car

If the energy used as they try to explain
How they can’t take the subway; they can’t take the train
How they can’t join a carpool or hop on a bike
But drive to wherever, whenever they like
If the energy used as they make their excuses
Were tapped, for the energy bullshit produces…
Distill it, refine it, and fill up a jar
And off they’d go driving, one person per car

slight rant after the jump:
[Read more…]

Our Family Is Growing!

No, not Cuttlefamily–Freethought Blogs family. Seven new blogs start today!

En Tequila Es Verdad
A Voice Of Reason
The Atheist Experience
The Crommunist Manifesto
What Would JT Do?
Rock Beyond Belief
And my dear friend Kylie, the one who got me started with blogging in the first place (on a pseudonymous blog I had before I was Cuttlefish, and then of course as Cuttlefish), with
Token Skeptic

I am looking forward to getting to know all of my new family, and invite you to do the same!

Today is a mad-busy day
So I really have little to say
Go read these new sites
I’ve got time for two bites
Of my breakfast, then off on my way!

Headline Muse, 9/30

The direction this country is heading
Is exactly what bigots are dreading!
What’s the danger they feared?
It’s that chaplains are cleared
To officiate at a gay wedding!

Headline: Military chaplains allowed to perform same-sex weddings

Headline: Military Chaplains May Perform Same-Sex Unions

Why two links? The first is CNN; the second is Fox. The stories are quite similar–there’s not much to do but report the facts–but the comment threads are clearly from two different planets.