The Values Voter Summit

We must elect a president, to start a revolution,
Who’s bold enough, and brave enough, to question evolution!
Whose moral code is biblical, immune from all depravity,
Who won’t give up the fight till we repeal the law of gravity

We need a Christian president—that’s one thing that I know—
Whose values for our future grew two thousand years ago!
Whose thinking starts and finishes inside a holy book
Who doesn’t know of science, and who doesn’t want to look

We need a man for president, a man who holds dominion
Whose superior position is a fact, and not opinion
The Values Voter Summit knows Republicans can’t lose
So long as we’re consistently against a right to choose!

We need a fucking troglodyte, a knuckle-dragging freak
Whose knowledge of the bible trumps ability to speak
The voters don’t want brains at all, so much as they want nerve…
They say, in a democracy, you get what you deserve.

Cephalopod Awareness Days!

The time has come! (What time, again?)
October 8, and 9, and 10!
Each year, this time, We play the odds
And celebrate the cephalopods!
(See, Pascal’s wager must apply
To more than just that Yahweh guy—
And crosses, crescents, pentacles
Cannot compare to tentacles!)
You need to hug a cuttlefish,
Or, yes, a squid, if you should wish,
Or octopus, if you insist,
But someone, somewhere, must be kissed,
With lots of arms to hold you tight,
And though we could, we will not bite.
(I would not even make a fuss
If you should snogg a Nautilus)

If you should think these days are Holy,
You do not grasp the concept fully—
The cephalopod, the fish, the eel,
Unlike the God, you see… are real.

I’ve only seen a few Cephalopod Awareness Days events going on this year. The TONMOCon, for instance. And a sale and a giveaway contest from Noadi (cuttledaughter is the proud owner of a custom cuttlefish necklace from Noadi). If you know of more, let me know in the comments!

What Goes Around…

What goes around, comes around.

Cases are making their way through the courts, and churches that broke with the Episcopalian Church over their consecration of their first openly gay bishop are finding that there are unexpected consequences to their bigotry actions. It’s a slow-moving train wreck in the courts. Bring popcorn. Story, after the jump:
[Read more…]

Headline Muse, 10/7

There’s a pastor whom Perry consults
And they talk about stuff like adults
Like how Jesus Christ chooses
Who wins, and who loses
And how other religions are cults

Headline: Perry Ally Calls Mormonism ‘A Cult’

The Baptist pastor endorsed Rick Perry, called Mitt Romney a non-Christian, and renounced his church’s tax-free status so that his political statements could be viewed as the campaign contribution they were intended as.

Do I need to tell you I’m just kidding about that last bit?

Oh–Jesus and Mo is, as so often, appropriate here.

Do Not Taunt The Bionic Monkey

When historians of later years look back, as well they may,
It’s clear the reign of cybermonkeys had its start today
Electrodes let a monkey’s brain control a robot’s arm—
It’s scientific progress! There’s no reason for alarm!

My comment for the scientists: I’m questioning the need
For monkeys that can fling their shit at hypersonic speed
I’m not against technology; that’s not my major fuss;
It’s just… shit-flinging monkeys are already too like us.

Real story, after the jump:
[Read more…]

…Therefore, Jesus

It’s possible some entity which cannot be detected,
Outside of our experience despite how we’ve inspected,
Was the first cause of the universe, and first began to move it
It’s possible, by which I mean that no one can disprove it.

And that’s why I, specifically,
Believe in Christ of Galilee

Beyond the grasp of scientists, beyond our poor sensations
Beyond the reach of telescopes, which all have limitations
Before the birth of matter, and of energy’s first pulse
There may have been intelligence—you cannot prove it false.

Believing in the Christian God
Is, therefore, not the least bit odd

The beauty of the universe holds all of us in thrall
No scientist would be so bold as claim we know it all
The open-minded person will admit that, just perhaps,
Some unseen causal entity lies hidden in the gaps

It cannot, therefore, be denied
It’s for our sins that Jesus died

A bit of bread, a sip of wine
Are flesh and blood, by will divine

A savior-king, of virgin birth
Who holds dominion over Earth

Belief in whom must hold the key
To heaven and eternity

Without whose love and magic spell
You’ll spend forever, trapped in hell

A god so strong, and so complex
He cares with whom we might have sex

We’ve never seen the evidence, and frankly never will
Another gap will open up for every one we fill
The less a god is visible, the more that god is strong:
As long as God does nothing, why, you cannot prove Him wrong.

To See Or Not To See

Say it ain’t so. An upcoming movie taking the side of conspiracy theorists?
No, not JFK. Not 9/11. Not vaccines and autism. Not Big Pharma. No, these people are old school.

Was Shakespeare a Fraud? Asks the tagline for the upcoming film “Anonymous.” It is clear to see from the trailer (which just ran during The Daily Show) that this movie intends to lie to us, on a grand scale. (This is not an issue where there is debate among serious scholars, although it is certainly an area where there is debate among conspiracy theorists.)

And people will believe it. If Dan Brown and The Da Vinci Code have taught us anything, it’s that bad movies about implausible conspiracies will still convince multitudes.

To see or not to see, that is the question
Read Shakespeare’s plays instead, is my suggestion.

Headline Muse, 10/5

It’s the end—though that’s hard to believe
There are millions now starting to grieve
With this loss, it appears
We’ll be shedding some tears
Oh, no, not for Sarah—for Steve

Headline: Apple Visionary Steve Jobs Dies At 56
Headline: Sarah Palin Says She Will Not Run For President In 2012 Election

Some goodbyes are harder than others.

Count me among those who wrote my dissertation on a Mac, who have gone through several generations of Jobs’s ideas. It’s too bad that the Mac/PC wars will inevitably rear its ugly head in the comment threads of Jobs’s obituaries. He will be missed.

Oh, and nobody important left the presidential race today.