(with sincere thanks to the good Doctor…)
The Digital Cuttlefish
Since the music plays so briefly... Can you blame me if I dance?
(with sincere thanks to the good Doctor…)
…Cos I completely forgot about this one. If you’re sick to death of Christmas verses and songs and stuff, don’t click. If you could stand one more, and can read sheet music, though, I wrote this one years ago, and last year a generous reader took my lousy attempt at sheet music, and made it work. And (although I can’t get it to work, maybe you can) got a sound file out of it, too.
More than friends this Christmas
It’s a Christmas-time love song, and it’s not snarky in the least.
I read it in the news, today,
And thought it rather odd:
“The world would be much better
If we all believed in God”
The heart of Christian charity
Depends on our belief;
It’s love of God that separates
The giver from the thief
Our movies and our novels serve
To highlight this conviction;
Though just like Aesop’s fables, they
Are moralistic fiction
The books about morality
Have overflowed the shelves
They show the hell that comes of people
Thinking for themselves.
Belief is what determines
How the common man behaves;
And everything goes smoothly
When we’re willing, happy slaves.
A bit more, after the jump: [Read more…]
Der Aufstand der Tannenbäume
cuttlecap tip to commenter “inPhobos” at SailorTwain.
God bless the GOP.
I hope you know me well enough to read that with the appropriate ironic tone. The GOP have allowed me my first chance to repeat a post written originally by me, not on the old blog but on this one! The “Gilding Our Past” party, faced with the effects of G.W. Bush’s energy-efficiency law, have decided that before they do anything about …well, anything… they are gonna save the 100-watt incandescent light bulb. For freedom. (more, after the jump:) [Read more…]
With me in it! How did I not write about this yet?
The Young Australian Skeptics have put together a Skeptical Blog Anthology, which is now available–proceeds from sales go directly to the Young Australian Skeptics, which is only part of why you should buy several copies. The other reason is, well, the stuff between the covers.
My pal Kylie has the details. And (I don’t think she mentions this on her post, but she reminded me in email, cos I had completely forgotten), I’m in it!
Let’s assume, for the moment, God loves us.
Let’s assume, for the moment, He’s real.
Let’s assume that He helps us fight Satan,
And He answers our prayers when we kneel.
Let’s assume that His power is infinite
Let’s assume that we bask in His glow
Let’s assume he’s beyond our perception…
Then tell me… just how do we know?
Let’s assume God keeps holding back earthquakes
Let’s assume He is calming the storm
Let’s assume that without Him, the devil
Can cause one, then another, to form
Let’s assume we would all die of cancer
Were it not for God keeping us well
Let’s assume we’d be worse off without Him
Now, tell me… just how can we tell?
Let’s assume God is here, all around us
Let’s assume He’s an infinite force
Let’s assume there is nowhere without Him
Let’s assume as a matter of course.
Let’s assume He’s in each observation
There’s no place without Him, to compare
Tell me, how could a human discern this
From a God who is simply not there?
Musing just a bit, after the jump: [Read more…]
The medical team was in a race
Against some resistant bacteria;
A colony found a young boy’s face
To treat as their own cafeteria
The miracle team investigates
Against some religious criteria;
The “promoter of justice” tries their fates
As they battle with strep or listeria
The desperate parents said their prayers
As conditions grew frankly horrific
They pleaded for help from the man upstairs
Whose germs were a bit too prolific
Operations and antibiotics combined
Broad-spectrum, as well as specific
Saved young Jake’s life, although we’ll find
The church is more unscientific
The search for answers sometimes leads
To a cultural bit of division:
A difference that comes from their separate needs
May find science and church in collision
A team of priests has been working for years
As a bishop provides supervision
And if adequate evidence really appears
Well… they won’t let that stop their decision
Well… I was right. (More after the jump: ) [Read more…]
If you don’t like what I have to say: take a number, get in line and kiss my ass.–Christopher Hitchens
He was cynical and venomous, and famously uncouth;
He refused the path to heaven—ah, but now he knows the truth!
I can only hope he saw the light, before he had to pass
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.
So beloved an opponent, when we met in fierce debate;
He was far, far, too intelligent to meet a heathen’s fate!
Now he’s hectoring Saint Peter, cos Hitch had balls of brass
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.
He was secretly a Christian, in his hidden heart of hearts
You could see it in his essence, which was greater than its parts
Like the picture that emerges from the fragments of stained glass
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.
In his essays and his arguments, he always held out hope
Which confirms his similarity to Christians like the pope
If he weren’t so gosh-darned stubborn, we’d have seen him there at Mass
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.
Is it really so impossible to think, perhaps, he died
Without ever seeking Jesus—no, not even “deep inside”?
He expressed it for himself, you know—like this, succinct and crass:
—Take a number, get in line, and kiss my ass.
I am delighted to share with you a guest post by friend of good people everywhere Smoggy Batzrubble, beloved of all, member of the Order of the Molly on Pharyngula. Smoggy did send this to PZ for his “Why I am an atheist” series, but since that gives it a less than 1% chance of being posted by Christmas, and since it contains a Christmas poem by Smoggy, I am performing the public service of expediting the delivery of high art. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
****************************************************
Why I am a Christian, A Conversation with Jesus
Transcribed by Smoggy Batzrubble
(With a Bonus Christmas Rhyme)
Smoggy Batzrubble: Dear Jesus?
Jesus Christ: [sigh] Yes, servant Smoggy?
SB: Dear Jesus, those Hell-bound atheists are baring their tormented
souls on the evil Pharyngula blog, blathering on the theme of ‘Why I
am An Atheist’ to justify their pointless existences and pretend
they’re not terrified of the eternal damnation which awaits them.
JC: And?
SB: And? And… and… and it’s not good enough Jesus! What if some
impressionable young believer gets whiff of the heady haze of heresy
and starts thinking rational thoughts? Can you imagine a world with no
religion, no heaven, no hell below, above us only sky?
JC: Careful Smoggy, you’re getting lyrical. (continues after jump) [Read more…]