A decision that’s mostly expected
Puts the nix on your being elected
Though you might have it in ya
To run in Virginia
Your challenge has just been rejected
Headline: Judge Rejects GOP Candidates’ Request To Be Added To Virginia Ballot
District Court Judge John Gibney Jr. rejected their requests, arguing that they filed their challenges to Virginia’s stringent ballot requirements too late.
“They played the game, they lost, and then they complained about the rules,” he said.
Dedicated to oppressed majorities everywhere.
Come, people of Cranston! Let’s occupy the schools!
Reminding the judge that majority rules!
It says in the bible that atheists are fools—
We can’t let it end in this manner!
We have to defend it, and also our Lord,
From the menacing might of the atheist horde—
The rights of all Christians are being ignored;
We must go to the wall for our banner!
For justice! For freedom! For Cranston! For God!
It’s time for our voice to be heard!
So bring out your pitchforks and torches and ropes
Cos the mob is protecting God’s word!
The bible, of course, is the source of our laws
So banner-removers, I think you should pause;
The way we interpret the establishment clause,
It prohibits the banner’s removal!
The community voted, they want it to stay
And these god-fearing folks wouldn’t lead us astray
The blind scales of justice, they surely must weigh
The majority’s Christian approval
For justice! For freedom! For Cranston! For God!
It’s time for our voice to be heard!
So bring out your pitchforks and torches and ropes
Cos the mob is protecting God’s word!
Come, people of Cranston, we can’t acquiesce!
We’ve got to assemble and take on this mess
So I’ve helpfully posted young Jessica’s address
We can meet there to find a solution
It shouldn’t be hard; hell, she’s only a kid
Which is why, when the atheist did what she did
She showed her true colors, and cowardly hid
In the words of our own Constitution!
For justice! For freedom! For Cranston! For God!
It’s time for our voice to be heard!
So bring out your pitchforks and torches and ropes
Cos the mob is protecting God’s word!
Come, people of Cranston! Let’s occupy the schools!
Reminding the judge that majority rules!
It says in the bible that atheists are fools—
We can’t let it end in this manner!
We have to defend it, and also our Lord,
From the menacing might of the atheist horde—
The rights of all Christians are being ignored;
We must go to the wall for our banner!
Related posts: As Predicted (The Cranston Ruling)
A win for the bravest girl in Rhode Island
Fox News commenters hate America
God answers all prayers, you know…
My dad’s unemployed, and my sister has cancer,
I’m hoping that heaven above has the answer–
Just pray up to God, and you know He will show…
Except for the times when the answer is “No”.
A hurricane’s coming, or maybe a flood,
Or earthquake, tornado, or volcanic mud
But God will protect us from rain and from snow
Except for the times when the answer is “No”.
That kid in the paper, who fell from a tree
We’re praying he’ll live, but we’ll just have to see
We know God can help him to wake up and go
Except for the times when the answer is “No”.
We’re going to war (Or else, maybe, just finished
And can’t stand the thought that our power’s diminished)
But God saves the soldiers, and weakens their foe,
Except for the times when the answer is “No”.
It’s funny, how God can pretend He’s not there,
To teach us a lesson; to make us aware
It’s a lesson we should have learned long, long ago:
Is God there to help us? The answer is “No.”
Atheists! Look in your purse or your pocket;
There’s God on the money you carry around!
The motto is yours, though you atheists mock it,
And God’s how we know that our money is sound!
Your using this money is clearly hypocrisy
Atheists ought to refuse it—the fools!
Sucks to be you, though; our Christian democracy
Trusts in our God—and majority rules!
The courts say it’s legal, so quit your complaining—
No reason to get all your bills in a wad!
We Christians find atheists so entertaining—
Each time you use money, you’re praising our God!
Rant, after the jump: [Read more…]
As I wrote at the time of the court case…
This isn’t religious, it’s merely tradition
I’m certain our case will be met with approval
A secular prayer—just a trivial thing—
So we’ll fight tooth and nail to prevent its removal
The prayer was a gift from a class in the sixties
Its place in tradition just can’t be denied
This isn’t religious! It’s all about freedom!
And we’ll fight, with our secular god on our side
For decades, the mural’s been there in the hallway
And no one—not one—had complained it’s religious
The taunting and threats that this Jessica’s getting?
It’s her fault alone, cos she’s so damned litigious
She’s out for attention! That’s all that this is!
The god-hating liberal, atheist slut!
We good Christian people should teach her a lesson
How sometimes it’s safer to keep your mouth shut.
How dare she insult us? How dare she mock God?
How dare she belittle the prayer in the hall?
How dare she believe that the law’s on her side—
Remember… this isn’t religious at all!
All the good stuff after the jump:
[Read more…]
There was never a question
No slightest suggestion
That Jessica would not prevail
The Cranston West banner
In no form or manner
Was legal, or so goes the tale.
The Judge has decided;
The school has been chided—
The ruling: It must be removed!
It’s great! Well, it ain’t if
You’re not with the Plaintiff
But only the wrong disapproved!
As a matter of prudence
It’s worth telling students
That Jessica’s view is the law
And I’m sure that they’ll cope,
But in truth, it’s my hope
That they see what Jessica saw
Via Ophelia and PZ, Jessica Ahlquist has prevailed! No great surprise–we knew she was on the side of right. We knew there were idiots massing against her. But frankly, it’s easy being the people watching from the sidelines. As much as we knew the outcome, it can’t have been easy being Jessica.
I know there have been other contests, but Jessica Ahlquist gets my nod for person of the year. Not just atheist of the year, let alone female atheist of the year. Person of the year. I (vaguely–I’m old) remember being that age. Jessica is braver than I have ever been. My hat is off to her!
If the living undead
Have your thoughts filled with dread
And you’re seeking a morsel of heaven
Well, the people who make
All that spongy, filled cake
Have just filed for chapter eleven!
Yes, for some, dreadful news
And they’re singing the blues,
But some info is poorly construed
See, this cream-filling log,
On the NPR blog,
Has been categorized under “food”!
Yes, NPR is reporting that Hostess Brands Inc. is filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Now, I haven’t eaten any of their products in years–perhaps decades–but think of them fondly, in the same way I think of avocado-colored kitchen appliances, greasy-spoon diners and curling linoleum, as icons of my early memories.
Michael Pollan would, of course, not call Twinkies a food at all, but a food-like substance. One could wish that the decline of Hostess might be blamed on a new health-conscious attitude; that is one of the company’s claims. But I don’t think whole-wheat twinkies will sell. If they are to survive, how will they be re-framed? Collector’s items? Zombie insurance?
I think the GOP candidates need to put out the word that Twinkies are patriotic. Eat them at every photo op, sign them for supporters, use them as props to evoke that nostalgia for a better, more simpler time. Plus, it could come in handy to explain some of their behavior.
Ok, I need some information. Do I have any readers in India? My stats say no, but a couple of recent search terms and an email have got me thinking. More after the jump: [Read more…]
He helpfully points
To the cracks in the joints–
You will give them attention, he’s hopin’
That should cut down the breeze
Unless nobody sees
He’s conveniently propped the door open.
There’s a draft in the room
But he’d rather assume
That the open door isn’t the cause
Just attend to a crack,
Cos he’s coming right back
With an armfull of hole-cutting saws.
[Read more…]
Image: Michael McRae
Having faced the new reality that money equals speech,
Now they babble by the billions at the folks they want to reach;
There’s millionaires and billionaires, each racing toward the right
And the even bigger moneybags—they’re keeping out of sight
As the voters mark their ballots, cos they know it’s what they ought,
There are votes that people earned, this year, and others that they bought
This year is Cuttledaughter’s first where she is eligible to vote (yes, I feel old, why do you ask?), and she is excited. Wants me to wait (polls have been open for a while now, but she’s still asleep) so I can keep her from getting in the wrong line or something. It’s nice to see the idealism, before it gets pulverized by repeated insults to intelligence over the decades.