The Evolutionary Biology Valentine

This one made it to The Open Laboratory one year, but has yet to show up in a Hallmark card.

In sociobiology,
Why I love you and you love me—
Which anyone can plainly see—
Is mostly in our genes.
No, not the ones you buy in stores,
But what a scientist explores–
I like the way you look in yours,
And you know what that means.

What subtly-coded stimulus
Takes you and me, and makes us “us”
And makes us feel ‘twas ever thus?
The list of suspects narrows.
No longer are we all a-shiver
From some Cupid with a quiver
Out of which he might deliver
Fusillades of Eros.

Nor Dopamine, nor Serotonin
Tell us why our hearts are moanin’
Though they serve to help us hone in
On–not why, but how;
The parasympathetic blush,
Adrenaline to bring a rush,
Are how, not why, I’ve got a crush
On you, my darling, now.

But if old Charles Darwin’s right,
The reason that the merest sight
Of you will always give delight
Is…reproductive fitness.
Throughout our species’ family tree,
Producing proper progeny
Is what determined you and me
And Darwin was the witness.

Is thinking that you’re oh so sweet
And how you’ll make my life complete
Some trick to make our gametes meet?
It seems it may be so.
I feel the way I feel today
Because some bit of DNA
Sees your genetics on display
And wants to say “hello.”

But think of this, for what it’s worth:
Millennia before my birth
That DNA had roamed the earth,
In residents thereof;
The neat thing is, it’s really true,
The feeling that I have for you
Although, of course, it feels brand-new
Is truly ageless love.

Science Of Love (A Valentine)

It’s February, and I’m already getting searches for various sorts of scientific valentines. So as a public service, I’m gonna be re-posting several of my favorites from previous years. These are not anti-love or anti-science, but you could call them anti-reductionist. Love is not something that chemicals do, it’s something that we do.

When science examines romantic attraction
(In other words, love and affection)
It uses the methods that serve us so well
But hearts can’t survive a dissection.

We study, in science, by breaking up problems
And looking at pieces and bits
Assemble the puzzle to show the big picture—
Assuming each smaller piece fits!

In life, we see love as a powerful feeling
It’s typically shared (say, by two);
You wouldn’t find love by examining neurons
But that’s something science might do.

A chemical cocktail assaulting the cortex,
Anandamide flooding the brain
Endogenous opiates running amok
And you’re either in love, or insane

Neurochemistry surely is crucial, I know,
But something important is missing
I’ve never encountered a brain, on its own,
With an interest in hugging or kissing.

Your genes play a part, I’m reliably told
By geneticists (likely, they’d know)
Though environment, epigenetically, molds
How those characteristics might show.

My heartbeat will race at the thought of your face
And my stomach gets tied in a knot
My fingers may tremble; my brow may perspire,
And other parts start feeling hot.

But none of these pieces can claim to be love
They’re mere tiles, in a larger mosaic
This modern view separates love into pieces;
My view is a bit more archaic

When I tell you I love you, you know what I mean:
Not only with all of my heart
Not only my brain, as complex as it is,
But all of me—every last part.

Just Who Is At Fault Here?

Do you know how much it cost
When I fought the law and lost?
When the judge reviewed and tossed out my opinion?
I’ll admit it gave me pause
When he said I broke the laws
Though I disagree, because it’s God’s dominion!

Though I lost my legal claim
I’ll hold Jessica to blame
She’s a child, but she’s fair game for the decision
She’s the reason that we must
Pay the lawyers or go bust
So that’s why her name’s discussed with such derision

Yes, the truth is, it’s our fault;
We’re the ones on the assault
We’d pay nothing, had we halted our transgression
But we had to roll the dice
So we get to pay the price
Maybe next time, we’ll think twice about oppression

Rant, following: [Read more…]

Counterfactual Thinking In The New York Times

From the NYT letters to the editor:

Re “Student Faces Town’s Wrath in Protest Against a Prayer” (news article, Jan. 27), about a successful lawsuit brought by Jessica Ahlquist, a 16-year-old atheist in Cranston, R.I.:

There are only six words in the text posted on the wall of Cranston High School West that are the cause of the problem. They are “School Prayer,” “Our Heavenly Father” and “Amen.” Take them out. The text can then read, with slight modification:

“May we each day desire to do our best, to grow mentally and morally as well as physically, to be kind and helpful to our classmates and teachers, to be honest with ourselves as well as with others. May we be good sports and smile when we lose as well as when we win. May we value true friendship and always conduct ourselves so as to bring credit to Cranston High School West.”

Who could possibly object to that?

(name withheld, out of pity–you can see if you like)

Were it not for the phrases that make it a prayer
It wasn’t a prayer at all!
So how could a reasonable person object
To a banner that’s hung on a wall?
Were it not for the fact that it’s labeled a “Prayer”,
Says “Our Heavenly Father”… “Amen”
Why, the banner the judge said was going too far
Would be nothing at all—and what then?
If it hadn’t been phrased as a prayer (which it was)
Who could ask—or demand—its removal?
There are only six words—only six!—and that’s all—
That prohibit the banner’s approval!
It’s outrageous the judge’s decision I read
Says the horrible things that it does!
Cos the only thing making the banner a crime…
Is the curious fact that… it was.

Yeah,yeah, after the jump… [Read more…]

Answering The Call

For JT.

When it comes to rhyming verse, I’ve seen better; I’ve seen worse
But at least I know the form to write it true
There’s a problem, though, with these, cos I don’t speak Japanese
So I’ve learned I must decline to do Haiku

With a sonnet in pentameter, I know the right parameter,
In ballad form, I’ve written one or two
If I have a tale to tell, I can write a villanelle
But I’ve learned I must decline to do Haiku

I compose my double dactyls with internal rhymes, like fractals
And my limericks? Renowned the whole world through
Should you want an ABC, you could leave it up to me,
But I’ve learned I must decline to do Haiku

Oh, there’s one that stands alone, I invented on my own
Cos it seemed the sort of thing that I should do
I could sharpen up my quill, and could write you what you will
But I’ve learned I must decline to do Haiku.

Haikus are only haikus
When in Japanese.
English? Counting syllables.

More, after the jump: [Read more…]

Look The Other Way

At our school board meeting hall, there’s a banner on the wall
That says ,“Jesus is my savior and my lord”
Though its stands against the rules to have prayer in public schools
If it’s clear that it’s a message from the board
When I started to complain, I was answered with disdain:
“What a hateful and unchristian thing to say
I’m not seeing what you see, cos it doesn’t bother me
You should turn around and look the other way”

Look (look the other way), the other way (look the other way)
And the problem will appear to go away (look the other way)
If you shut your eyes and ears, then the problem disappears
It’s so simple when you look the other way (the other way)

“We should keep it in plain sight, cos the banner is our right
We have earned it with the taxes that we pay
There’s no need to take it down, we’re good Christians in this town
You should turn your head and look the other way”

Look (look the other way), the other way (look the other way)
And the problem will appear to go away (look the other way)
If you shut your eyes and ears, then the problem disappears
It’s so simple when you look the other way (the other way)

“It’s been hanging there so long, it can’t possibly be wrong
It’s a message that we need to see each day
For a Muslim or a Jew, or an atheist like you,
You can turn around and look the other way”

Look (look the other way), the other way (look the other way)
And the problem will appear to go away (look the other way)
If you shut your eyes and ears, then the problem disappears
It’s so simple when you look the other way (the other way)

“If we want the banner there, there’s no reason you should care
And the wants of the majority hold sway
If you see us breaking laws, just take a breath and pause
Then turn around and look the other way”

Look (look the other way), the other way (look the other way)
And the problem will appear to go away (look the other way)
If you shut your eyes and ears, then the problem disappears
It’s so simple when you look the other way (the other way)

“Should you win the case in court, we have one more last resort
We can threaten you and force you to obey
If you make us take it down, you’re the bully in this town
You should turn your head and look the other way”

Look (look the other way), the other way (look the other way)
And the problem will appear to go away (look the other way)
If you shut your eyes and ears, then the problem disappears
It’s so simple when you look the other way (the other way)

I don’t really need to provide context, do I? Every discussion thread that ever touched on an establishment clause case, that’s your context.

Feel free to add verses–this one practically writes itself.

“Look Around”

Funny thing, perspective. The same comment can be seen as good or bad, support or refutation, because of all the often-unsaid baggage that the speaker or writer attaches to that comment.

In our discussions of de Botton’s proposed tower (btw, de Botton sounds far more reasonable in Kylie’s new interview than he has been portrayed in the media), one quote kept getting mentioned (in three different languages, actually): “Si monumentum requiris, circumspice.” Atheists apparently see more beauty in the real world than in any temple we might construct. Or that’s how we viewed that quote, anyway. This morning, though, I saw another point of view (after the jump): [Read more…]

Why Should You Care?

An atheist doesn’t believe in a god,
So why should an atheist care?
So what if he’s put on some idiot’s list
For a heaven he knows isn’t there?

The church claims a place of authority
They tell us it’s written in stone
I will not assist their intrusion—
My name is not theirs; it’s my own.

I’ve seen it in a number of different contexts recently–the Cranston banner, “in god we trust” on money, and now in two unrelated stories about atheists and baptism. More, after the jump: [Read more…]

The Grandest One Of All

Regarding de Botton’s proposed atheist monument, commenter Crudely Wrott writes:

Build a cathedral? Build a cathedral?!

Shit, de Bottom, we are born inside the grandest one of all!

Look about you.

We don’ need no stinkin’ interpretive scale models!

Or, in Cuttlespeak…

We could pillage, pilfer, plunder
All religion knows of wonder
We can take the best from all their holy books
We can ask the three-in-one set
What they’ve got to match a sunset
Which is there to see for anyone who looks

When reality is greater
Than some fictional creator
There’s no reason we should steal the lesser stuff—
We should simply look around us
What we witness will astound us—
Cos the world itself is beautiful enough.