Cuttlefishism?

Ok, this is just fun.

I was looking for something I had written long ago, and search engines were being no help at all. Still haven’t found it, and am wondering if perhaps it’s a false memory. But that is not what I am writing to tell you about.

I want to tell you about Cuttlefishism. And it’s just great. A couple of 8th graders, back in 2006, had a bit of fun creating their own “Cuttlefishism” religion. We’ve all been there. But these kids (who are college-aged now, if counting on my tentacles works) put up a website in support of their new religion (apparently taking advantage of a “create a free church website” link–how perfect).

And it’s just adorable. I had to check, though; did they predate me? Checking, I see I was indeed a Cuttlefish before their website went up, so I’m safe from lawsuit.

Anyway, I would love to make their day. There hasn’t been an update on their site in 4 years or so, but you can go and sign their guest-book, and maybe sign up for their forum! (I don’t even know if they would still get email updates to let you in, so I can’t promise we’ve just found a place where our Cuttlefish Army can congregate.) Mostly, I just had a big dumb smile on my face looking around their site and remembering, just a bit, what it was like to be an 8th grader having fun.

New Jersey’s Fun-House Mirror

Assemblyman Jay Webber, R-Whippany, said his party’s opposition to the same-sex marriage bill is not about judging anyone or imposing a moral point of view.

“Gay and lesbian New Jerseyans have every right to live as they please, but they shouldn’t be able to tell others what constitutes marriage,” Webber said.

My right to decide
For a gay groom or bride
Is a matter of freedom, you see—
I’ve a right to my view
And to force it on you
But you mustn’t impose one on me.
You can live as you please
Which as everyone sees
Is enough, to a certain degree;
Though your views may be fine
They will never trump mine…
And that’s how we know we are free

Rant, following: [Read more…]

Headline Muse, 2/16

The school board in Cranston was feeling
The pressure some locals were dealing:
Some hated the manner
They dealt with the banner—
They were, we agree, unappealing.

Headline: No appeal on Cranston prayer banner

It’s over. With any luck, it will fade into the woodwork and a week from now no one will even remember. Jessica will graduate, and half the audience at her graduation will boo. The other half will give her a standing ovation.

The second half are in the right.

The Sterile Life Of The Everyday Atheist

I get the strangest things showing up on my computer to read. Most recently, a Rhode Island bishop wrote a piece entitled “the sterile life of the everyday atheist”. Because it’s not enough that celibate men know all about women’s reproductive rights, these highly religious, didn’t-just-drink-the-Kool-Aid-but-mixed-the-batch-up believers know all about what it must be like to be an atheist. I think the position of authority has gone to his fevered noggin; he actually thinks he has an opinion worth reading. I’ve already answered him, in the links; turns out there is a Cuttleverse for nearly every occasion! [Read more…]

Cash Cow Spotted In New Hampshire

NH Lawmakers Consider Rolling Back Gay Marriage

It’s too tragic to be funny,
But by following the money
We can see the motivation for the movement to repeal
See, despite the sponsors’ spinning
They don’t really think they’re winning
And that’s really not the reason they’ve been showing so much zeal

All their proper protestations
Are designed to cull donations
From the homophobic bigots who’ve been keeping us amused
And whose wallets and whose purses
Offer dollars up with curses
And who never seem to notice that they’re mostly being used

And a liberal agenda
Needs supporters who can spend a
Lot of money, so the issue is plus for them as well—
Every time some bishop hollers
The reaction raises dollars
So the left has every reason to just let the bigots yell

Don’t expect it to be ending—
Not since politics means spending
And the money flows when angry mobs hurl epithets and names
In the fight for same-sex spouses
It’s a plague a’ both your houses
When it comes to rights and freedoms, then enough with playing games!

Rant follows: [Read more…]

Sonnet 116.1

Let me not to the scientists studying love
Concede authority—love is not yours,
To alter or reduce the scope thereof,
Or tend with the specimens in your drawers
O no! It is a never-fixed mark
That brings forth tempests, in chaotic fashion
It lives and dies by show or want of spark;
Its worth is known and measured by our passion.
Love’s not its parts, though hearts and even brains
Are called upon, love’s details to depict;
Love, explored in shards across domains,
Too often its description will restrict.
If this be error, prov’d to be untrue
It never will survive the peer review

Apologies to Will, of course. Short rant, after the jump. [Read more…]

Walking On Ice (or, “On Faith”)

I was reading Justin’s recent post, and thinking about metaphors for faith…

Faith is the thing, when you’re not really sure,
That allows you to walk on the ice
When the skeptical people are looking for proof
There’s no reason for you to think twice

Believe—just believe—it’s sufficient support;
That you won’t simply fall through and drown
Though no one has tested, and no one has shown
So the data are hard to pin down

You’re risking your life, or perhaps even more
As you make your way out on the pond
A crack, or a slip, stands between having fun
And an icy death waiting beyond

But life has its risks—there are no guarantees—
And faith is a virtue, we’re told
You’re taking a chance, going out on the ice
But promoting pure faith? Now, that’s cold.

A bit more, after the jump: [Read more…]

A Modest Proposal For Public Prayer

“It makes no sense”, the Christian said,
“To ask that prayers be ended—
The atheists do not believe,
Thus should not be offended!”

“The godless think it’s pointless, so
They shouldn’t even care!
When Christians start our praying, just
Pretend we are not there!”

You know, there’s something to that.
There’s a model there that works;
A way to tease inclusiveness
From all the privileged jerks.

When Christians offer up their prayers
I’m sure you’re well aware,
It doesn’t matter where they face
Cos Jesus doesn’t care

And so, to be inclusive (since
To them it’s no big deal)
The Christians should face Mecca
As they’re making their appeal

And maybe wear a yarmulke,
Along with matching shawl–
It doesn’t really matter, so
They shouldn’t care at all—

And if, by chance, it matters—
If they somehow take offense—
They may weigh again their lying
At the atheists’ expense

It’s not a simple matter
Of not caring what we do
But who decides for everyone
The many and the few

It’s hard to have inclusive prayer
While saying only one—
How ‘bout, instead, we compromise:
I’m thinking…maybe… none.

A bit more, after the jump: [Read more…]

Headline Muse 2/11

It’s non-binding—there’s no votes to gain
So to say it’s important’s insane
But Santorum, that turd
Placed a far-distant third
While that Romney jerk barely won Maine

Headline: Romney wins Maine caucuses

Again, I wish the networks would report on what incredibly small turnouts these have been. Romney beats Paul by three percent–but that’s less than 200 votes! I’ve taught a good many classes with more students than that. Caucuses, being non-binding, are mostly a way of measuring passion. And there is very little passion. It looks like people are passionate, of course, because the extreme tail of the distribution is very excited. That’s pretty much the job of the extreme tail of the distribution. The monster middle, however, is unmoved and unimpressed.

If the majority of Republicans can’t be arsed to vote for these pinheads, imagine how attractive they are to the general public.